- 5 -
When I woke up, Jacky was gone but she left me a Hershey’s kiss on the pillow she was using last night. That’s my thing. If I go to bed in a bad mood, I’ll wake up to chocolate on my pillow.
It stopped when I was nineteen and I was home for the summer for a few weeks. It was a hot ass day and the air conditioning wasn’t working so I went to bed extra moody. I tossed and turned all night and when I woke up, there was melted chocolate on my sheets, all over me and on my nightstand. I seriously thought I lost control of my bowels while I was sleeping. Everyone thought it was funny. I didn’t.
I unwrapped the chocolate and chewed on it slowly as I stared at the ceiling. I need to wash my hands. I still have blood under my fingernails. I scratched my wrist too hard. That’s saying something. I really can’t deal with the nightmares.
When I glanced at the clock and saw it was 10:08, I decided to get up. A hot shower was exactly what I needed and I was glad to see they didn’t take away my shaver.
I threw on a loose t-shirt that I stole from one of my one-night stands years ago and slipped on some shorts. It’s a sunny day so I thought a quick walk would do me some good before I head to the bar. I grabbed a work shirt to stick into my purse and headed out.
As I got downstairs, the quick walk along with my happy mood was tossed into the garbage when I saw Dad talking to someone at the door. I peeked and saw Logan…and Aimee.
Dad turned and glanced at me.
“Birdie, your friends just stopped by,” he said, not showing a sign of regret or terror from what happened last night. “Are you leaving or are they coming in?”
Dammit. He’s putting me on the spot.
“Is Matty up?” I asked.
“Excuse me,” Finn said, dragging it out as he slipped past Logan and Aimee and into the house. “Hey, beautiful. Looking extra sexy today.” He walked up the stairs, slapped my ass and winked at me. “Don’t shoot me, Mr. Lennox.”
“I’ll shoot you myself,” Matty said walking down the stairs. “Don’t f-ucking touch my sister.”
“Language,” Dad said, rolling his eyes.
“Uh…I’m leaving,” I said grabbing my purse off the coat rack. “I would have stayed but Finn’s here.”
“I love you too,” Finn said to me.
“Bye, Dad.”
“Whoa!” Matty said stepping in front of me and staring at Aimee who is in heels, short shorts and a tank top. I guess because it’s the fall and we have nice weather she wants to dress comfortably. “And who’s this?”
“Aimee,” she said smiling, glancing at me and Matty. “This is my brother, Logan. We go to school with Rebeckah.”
Matty glanced at me. “I find out now that you have new friends,” he said. “Thanks.”
“We’ll catch up later,” I said grabbing the door. “Bye.” I got it closed before Matthew, Finn or Dad could ask more questions because right now, I have questions. “How do you guys know where I live?”
“Logan fucked a girl that works in the Dean’s office. She was very helpful,” Aimee said, wagging her brows. “And now you get to answer my question. Where have you been hiding all of these?” she asked touching my arm. I have a Band-Aid on my wrist so last night’s shit is covered up and so is the old scar. “And your legs. Damn, you are hot.”
It’s not lost on me how Logan isn’t talking to me. I did knee him in the groin yesterday so there must be hard feelings.
“Ohmygod and your neck. How the hell didn’t I see that? Wow, I’m f-ucking blind. Logan, do you see this?” Aimee asked reaching for my neck. I dodged her hand and she pouted but quickly recovered. “Logan loves tattoos.”
Great.
“Nice,” Logan said with no emotion in his voice.
“Alright, look. We did kind of stalk you and since we’re here, we thought we could hang out and get to know more about you. You obviously have a lot of secrets. You’ve been hiding these under sweaters and jeans,” Aimee said waving a hand over my body.
“Both of you wanted to hang out?” I asked. That’s hard to believe.
Logan caught my eye and I swear he was giving me the go-f-uck-yourself look. I’d know because I give that look to a lot of people in my life.
“Well, Logan didn’t want to leave me alone dressed like this so he tagged along.” Logan rolled his eyes as Aimee beamed. “But he did mention your name so–”
“Aimee, stop talking,” Logan deadpanned.
She stared at the two of us and threw her hands up.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying. I’m trying to hook you two lonely bastards up and you couldn’t be colder towards each other. You know what…I left my phone in the car. Hold on.” She ran across the street and climbed into a Honda Crosstour…and drove off.
“Um…” I watched as Aimee took a left down the street and disappeared. “She’s coming back, right?”
“No,” Logan said. “She tends to get her way one way or the other.”
She’s not coming back.
f-uck me. I rolled my eyes and cursed myself for being a good person sometimes. “I can drive you back,” I groaned. “Come on.”
We walked back up the stone path toward my house. When I opened the door, Matty and Finn were heading out. With Dad’s car keys.
“I need the car,” I said.
“Too bad. We’re going somewhere,” Matty said. He looked over my shoulder and frowned. “Where’s the other girl?”
“She drove off,” Logan said.
“Wow, you scared her away already,” Matty said smiling at me. “I can drive you where you need to go.”
“Yeah, right,” I huffed. “Give me the keys.”
“Uh…I don’t think you should drive,” Matty said, looking like a lost puppy. “Last night…” f-uck. “You looked pretty wasted.” Good cover.
“Fine. Drive. Hurry up,” I said glancing at Logan. “Don’t ask. He’s a good driver.”
We headed to Dad’s car and Logan and I got in the back because Finn wouldn’t give up the front seat. “So, you two dating?” Finn asked glancing at me and Logan. I am going to kill him.
“No,” we both said without hesitation.
“Then why did your sister leave?” Matty asked.
“Just drive to the college,” I said giving him a look.
Everyone was quiet for a while until Logan laughed. “This is the first time I’m being driven by a girl’s younger brother,” he said.
“It’s like a date with parental vision,” Finn said winking at me. He locked eyes on Logan and gave him a challenging look. Wow. Pretty soon they might puff out their chests. The testosterone in this car needs to die down. “Dating Rebeckah isn’t easy,” Finn said matter-of-factly.
“Really?” Logan said glancing at me, his stupid blue eyes seeing a way to get under my skin. “So the whole attitude isn’t a cover?”
“f-uck you,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.
Finn cleared his throat. “No, she’s a tough bitch. But she’ll crack eventually. There’s just one rule that every guy needs to know. Don’t kiss her unless she wants to be kissed. Pst…” Finn shook his head. “This girl probably caused more men to be sterile than a vasectomy.”
“Finn, you never even kissed me,” I said, squinting my eyes at him.
He turned his dark eyes on me. “I’ve seen the losers you were with. It doesn’t take a genius to know you’re the boss.” See, he gets it. “Can I kiss you?” he asked with a smile.
“No,” both Matty and I said.
“One day, Becka. One day.”
“That day, you’ll be buried alive,” Matty said. “So you better f-uck her too because you won’t get to live afterwards.”
“Um, okay. No,” I said leaning forward. “Both of you stop talking about kissing me, f-ucking me or doing whatever to me.” I turned to Finn. “Get a girl your own age and f-uck her. When do you turn eighteen? Next month?”
“Yeah, why? Want to know if I’ll be legal?”
I rolled my eyes and Finn laughed.
“No, go have birthday sex,” I said, sitting back into my seat. The kid clearly needs it. His hand obviously isn’t getting the job done. I glanced at Logan who’s looking at me like I was a mystery. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said.
Whatever.
Matty hit the brakes a bit too hard when some asshole cut him off a few minutes later so we got to listen to him swear and drive faster.
“So do you want to be a nurse too?” Matty asked Logan. “And your sister?” Why does my brother ask questions? Just stay silent until we drop him off.
“Aimee, yes. Me, no,” Logan said. “I’m only doing my fifth year because I skipped summer classes. Aimee and I are twins so you can’t really separate us. We have to graduate together.” If I didn’t know he was an asshole, I would have swooned at that. “I’m majoring in psychology.”
I whipped my head to the left and stared at him. How the hell didn’t I know this?! Not like I care or anything…
“Oh, that’s where you study people, right?” Matty asked.
“It’s more than that but yeah,” Logan said, smiling, clearly in love with what he does. Oh, god. He’s going to talk about it.
“So um…you can just look at someone and tell that something isn’t right?” Matty asked. My eyes found his in the mirror and I know he’s talking about me. I know I’m fucked up, okay! I don’t need Blue to tell me.
“Not really. Some people are harder to read,” Logan said. “Well, your friend, Finn, is kind of easy. The only thing on his mind right now is having sex with Rebeckah.”
“Bingo,” Finn said snapping his fingers.
I rolled my eyes and stared out of the window.
“Your sister is harder to read,” Logan said. It’s taking all of me not to look at him because I have a feeling that if I do, he’ll see it and he’ll do something about it. “Something is obviously on her mind and she’s trying to hide it.”
“Yeah, like throwing you out of the car,” I said.
“No, seriously,” Logan said, shifting in his spot. “Your body language and the way you act around people show signs of someone going through a lot. I don’t want to label it but you are kind of anti-social, you’re a bitch, and you just don’t care about a lot of things. If I was a doctor, I’d say that you are heading onto a dangerous path.”
Too late. Path has already been crossed.
“How dangerous?” Matty asked softly.
Logan was quiet for a bit and I have a feeling his eyes are on me. “She will either become homicidal or suicidal.”
I turned my head to see Logan. “I did say I wanted to throw you out of a moving car. Maybe the homicidal tendencies are kicking in.”
“Then it’s a good thing I get off here,” Logan said opening the door as Matty came to a stop. “Thanks for the ride. There was a lot of helpful information.” He glanced at me. “See you on Monday.”
“Who knows, I might be dead by then according to your psychoanalysis of me,” I deadpanned.
Logan lingered in the window for a bit until he thought of something to say. “I forgot to include that there’s a fight in you, Rebeckah. It all depends on which side you let win.”
When he left, Matty didn’t drive. Instead, he turned in his seat and glanced at me. I know he’s worried. Everything Logan just said is true. I’m on a dangerous path and it’ll get ugly. I can’t let it though.
“I have an hour. Want to grab some food?” I asked, nervously. Matty smiled and I saw some worry leave his body.
“Yeah. Finn, what do you say?”
“f-uck yeah,” Finn said sliding his arm behind the seat and squeezing my knee. He then started to tickle me and Matty punched him.
Finn is now cradling his left arm as we eat burgers.