- 2 -
“Hey, do you have a pen I can borrow?” a beautiful blue-eyed girl sitting two seats over from me asked. Her dark waves are pinned to one side of her head, giving her that go-f-uck-yourself look but with a I’m-a-really-nice-girl look too. She looks preppy. For her not to bother me again, I dug in my purse and found one. “Thanks,” she said way too cheerfully. “I’m Aimee.”
Great.
“Rebeckah,” I said, avoiding eye contact, hoping she gets the message. I turned my attention back to the professor and took notes on what is going to be happening in this class for the rest of the semester.
I don’t want to be here but I’m going to graduate.
Kelsey won’t accept it if I don’t.
I aim to please.
When class was over, I was the last to leave because I didn’t want to get stuck in the crowd of people pushing and shoving. Once the crowd vanished, I headed to my next class and decided to sit in the front. Not because I wanted to but because the girl I gave the pen to, Aimee, waved me over. She was waving her hands around like a lunatic, attracting attention, so I walked over quickly to get her to stop because she looks like the type that gets what she wants.
We sat next to each other and Aimee commented on how hot the professor is. She gets points for that. We’re connecting on eye-f-ucking the professor. He has to be around forty but his body looks amazing. He has stunning green eyes and his hair looks to be around light brown/blondish.
I barely remember what he said the whole class because my eyes couldn’t stop staring at his arms as he wrote on the whiteboard. Professor Roberts just had to wear a navy blue t-shirt with light blue jeans.
I was bummed when class was over and it was time to head to one of my writing classes but Roberts was nice eye candy to keep me going. After the writing class, I headed to my last elective then classes were done. Easy. Simple. Done.
“Rebeckah!”
Oh, f-uck me!
When you hear your name being shouted in a building that you’ve never been in, you know its time to get scared. Stalkers, killers or worse have been lurking around and are now after you.
I stopped short and turned around with wide eyes when my name was yelled again. A persistent stalker then.
I sighed in relief when it was Aimee from class. At least it’s not some f-ucking weirdo coming at me with a knife. She jogged up to me and handed me my pen. I was astonished at how fast she ran with heels on. All for a pen.
“You really didn’t have to give it back,” I said eyeing the pen. “I have plenty.” When I shop for school supplies, the whole family comes along and we get more than we need. There is always extra. Dad went overboard and bought the entire Staples store so I was prepared. Uh, yeah, I’m in college and my father still buys me school supplies. What’s the matter?
“This was just a reason to see you again. I don’t want you to think I’m a stalker.” Stalker? No, why would she think that? “I haven’t seen you around campus before, are you new?”
“Yeah,” I said, chewing on my lip and trying to find a way to escape. Can I go now? Please. Please!
“Great. Want to grab lunch together? My brother is standing me up for some girl and I have no one else,” Aimee said, pouting. “I mean…” Her blues widened. “Not like you’re the last resort. You’re new so I thought–” She looks like I just told her I’m an alien. “You don’t have to…I get it.”
Okay, this girl is whacked. And I feel bad that she has puppy-dog eyes now. Dammit! I hate the puppy-dog eyes! Kelsey always gets me with them.
“Sure,” I said, plastering on a fake smile. I just want to be left alone. Why is that so hard?
“Yeah?” she asked with a smile. What’s with people and one dimple? She has one on her right cheek just like that guy from earlier.
“I’m new and I don’t really know where to go,” I said, trying to get her to stop looking at me like she found a new stray animal to bring home. Should I bark or something? Hang my tongue out and pant? I think she’s expecting it.
She jumped on her heeled toes and linked her arm through mine. “Excellent,” Preppy said, dragging me out of the building. A few minutes of me being treated like a ragdoll, Aimee smiled weakly at me. “Sorry if I’m overly excited. My boyfriend and I broke up last week and I’m still trying not to cry and feel like complete shit.”
“Oh…” I said glancing at her. I guess that explains A LOT then. And I kind of feel like shit for judging her now. “Well, he’s an idiot.”
She smiled and seemed to relax a bit. That’s a good sign, right? I’m not making her feel like she should be bingeing on ice cream and watching a sad romance movie.
“Yeah, he is,” she whispered, looking down at her feet.
We headed to the Curry center and grabbed some food then snatched up a table with a window seat. The tuna salad wrap I got was somewhat okay but I’ve had better. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be here. I should be getting on a train and heading to the hospital to check on Kelsey. Read her something. Eat with her. Head home.
But I didn’t want to reject Aimee and make her feel bad so I joined her. And it’s pretty nice actually. Normal.
It’s not at all weird how many guys stare at Aimee as they walk by. I get the occasional look but everyone’s attention is on the blue eyed, hot bombshell sitting across from me, wearing sexy ass heels. I’m probably twenty-five pounds heavier than Aimee but the sweater I’m wearing isn’t showing off any curves because it’s huge on me. I’m okay with that. I don’t want attention. Sometimes staying in the shadows is good.
My eyes shifted to the window, overlooking the quad with a few students walking around, when Aimee was busy winking at a guy that’s clearly hitting on her with his jaw scratching. My eyes turned into discs when I spotted the guy from earlier, Logan, walking toward the building but then I saw the girl on his hip and I rolled my eyes. Huh, he’s an asshole. I called it. More like a flirt but still. I know that kind. And I hate that kind.
“So…how old are you? You look really young.” Aimee’s dunking a French fry in ketchup, now avoiding the guy trying to get her attention. He glanced at me for a split second before rolling his eyes and walking away. Hey, I didn’t cockblock you. She’s not interested anymore.
“Twenty-one,” I said, trying to curl myself into my sweater even more. My hair is down, my body parts are covered and only my face is visible. I must look creepy. How Aimee is still talking to me is unknown.
“Birthday?” she asked. Why does she care?
“Christmas.” Aimee’s mouth dropped open. I get that sometimes. Why is it really weird to be born on Christmas? Jesus shouldn’t be the only person taking credit for that day.
“Really? That’s nice. Me and my brother turned twenty-three last month. August tenth.” Her eyes lit up and she looks lost in a memory.
“You and your brother?” Oh… “You’re twins?” Duh.
“Yeah. Everyone loves to tease us about it. We’re inseparable.” She blinked and smiled as her eyes glanced over my shoulder. “He’s here now.”
This I have to see. Aimee is gorgeous. I can only imagine what her twin–
I turned my head and saw Logan walking over to us. He did a double take when he saw me and I swear he pushed the girl hanging on him, off his arm. Her mouth hung open and I held back the urge to laugh. I guess she’s not use to the rejection. What girl is?
“Babe, you said you weren’t coming,” he said with a weird smile. I’m so lost because why would he be talking to his sister like that? I glanced at Aimee and she’s equally confused. When my eyes landed on Logan again, he was staring at me with a look in his eyes. What the hell does he want?
And then he leaned into me and kissed me. Like, full on kissed me. I tried to pull back but he slid a hand to the back of my neck and pulled me in even closer. I gasped and he slid his tongue right in. Whoa! No, fucker, that is not what I want! No f-ucking way! I’m not into this!
I finally pushed him off me, shoved him back, and noticed the girl he came in with walking away. The smirk on this asswipe’s face says it all.
Asshole used me.
“Um, excuse me...what the hell was that?” Aimee asked looking at the two of us. “You two know each other?” f-uck no!
“I have no idea who he is,” I said grabbing my purse and shoving Logan back even more. “But since he’s here, I’m going to go. I have to be somewhere.” And stop myself from killing this douchebag!
“Hey, don’t go,” Logan said grabbing my arm. Please. I don’t want to be around some dickwad who kisses random people in public. “That girl wouldn’t leave me alone. I needed an out. And I can’t just kiss my sister.”
“Um, first, you can’t kiss me either. What the f-uck is wrong with you? And second, do that again and you’ll be picking your balls off the floor,” I snapped. “Thanks for letting me come,” I said to Aimee. “It was nice.” Until I got man-handled.
“See you tomorrow?” she asked with hopeful eyes.
“Sure.” We have classes together. It’s bound to happen.
I gave Logan the evil look as I pushed him out of my way again. He doesn’t really move much so I have to keep shoving him until he finally staggers back and I make a break for it.
“You know her?” I heard him ask Aimee over my shoulder.
I kept walking until I got out of the building and walked my way to the train station. Kelsey will want to know how my first day went. She’ll want details and she’ll have a blast with this shit.
“Hey, wait up,” I heard Logan call out behind me. Oh, god! He jogged up to me and blocked my path. He really needs to stop being up my ass. It’s annoying…and creepy. “I’m sorry for kissing you.” I don’t believe that. “Actually, no I’m not. I’m just trying to get you to think I’m a good guy. I don’t usually do that…kissing random girls.”
I don’t care what he is…
“Really, because you seemed to know what you were doing.” He gave me a cocky smile and I know it’s because he thinks I’m saying he’s a good kisser. Which he is. But he doesn’t need to know that. “Kissing random girls,” I clarified. “You just walked up to me. I think you’ve done it before.” He’s an asshole. Okay. Girls should be aware of that.
He dropped his eyes, staring at the sidewalk then slowly brought them back up, making my heart stop for a few seconds because the look in them is intense. And hot. Turn and walk. Now.
“You can ask my sister,” he said, softly. “I don’t do that.”
“I have to go,” I said trying to step past him.
The wind picked up and blew my hair back.
The way Logan’s eyes landed on the left side of my neck made my skin burn up. He stared at my tattoo for a few more seconds until he met my eyes. Shit.
“Birds?” he asked. “I have to hear this story.”
“No, you don’t.” What the f-uck? He doesn’t need to know anything. My family knows me. That’s all that matters.
When I was eighteen, the only way I rebelled was by getting tattoos. Lots of them. There are too many to count so I don’t. They all have some meaning to me but the first one I ever got was of small black birds flying up my neck. I thought it was amazing and Kelsey did too. Matt and Jacky called me an idiot and Mom and Dad didn’t comment. The way Kelsey looked up at me was priceless. I felt like her idol.
I stepped past Logan and made my way to the train station again. He didn’t follow me and I was glad. I need to breathe without his scent filling my lungs.
On the train, I texted Matthew asking him how school was and he just replied with ‘boring.’ I tried to text Jacky but she didn’t respond so I guess her boyfriend, Remy, is more important at the moment. They’ve been dating for six years; I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s ignoring me. Her man is her life.
Mom and Dad were at the hospital when I got there. It’s weird seeing them together for Kelsey. Mom does anything for her so staying with her ex-husband for a few hours is tolerable.
I don’t know how long they’ve been here but when I got there, they stayed for a bit then headed home. They told me that Kelsey can come home soon. She’s not done doing tests but Kelsey misses her room and I can’t blame her. Her room is her safe haven. Her room is her escape.
“Hey,” I said bringing a chair over to Kelsey’s bed. “How was your day?” This is the normal routine. We sit, talk, eat and then she goes to sleep and I wait a bit before I head home.
“Eh,” Kelsey said shrugging. “The only highlight of my day was the cute kid who came in thinking it was his room.”
“Details!” I said excited for a new story. She’s usually bored in here so hearing about something other than the nurses’ personal lives is interesting.
“He’s fifteen,” she said. “He stayed until Dad came…” I listened to how Micha stumbled in here thinking it was his room then how he stayed and talked to Kelsey. He’s tall with green eyes and dark blondish hair. Like Remy.
The way Kelsey described him was how a girl in love describes the love of her life. This is what kills me. Kelsey is young and she’s sick. She didn’t even have her real official boyfriend yet. Instead, she’s stuck in a bed getting needles stuck into her arms and blood drawn. No kid should go through things like this. Kids should grow up running around the house and screaming at the top of their lungs. They should be having fun.
They should be living. She always wanted to just live and have a normal life. Go to school and have friends. Be here.
It was late when Kelsey fell asleep. I ate chips while she ate her meal and then we watched TV. Matthew will come by this weekend and Jacky, tomorrow. It’s our routine. Kelsey told me I’m still the only one to lighten her mood. I feel f-ucking special. Who wouldn’t?
I made sure Kelsey was tucked in extra tight and then I headed out. The nurse at the front desk told me to have a good night then I headed back onto the train.
I have a license but I don’t have a car. Nice, right?
I took the bus home and walked up the steps to my home sweet home. I opened the door and expected to be attacked by Matthew but instead I found him on the couch with his friend, Finn.
“Hey, beautiful,” Finn said winking at me.
“Dude, stop. That’s just weird,” Matt said. Finn never listens to him. I’m constantly getting hit on by that kid. I shot him the finger and headed upstairs. I’m not in the mood for his stupid flirting. And it’s worse that he never stops. Whenever me or Jacky are around him, he brings out the cocky guy.
I knocked on Dad’s door and when he didn’t answer, I gave up and headed to my old room. I haven’t been here in so long since I moved back to Revere a few months ago. It’s weird because my room is still in the same state I left it when I moved to college in Seattle. University of Washington was fun and I loved it. I met some great people. Then I had to leave them behind as I moved back to Massachusetts. I didn’t want to. I just couldn’t be there anymore. Not after what happened.
There are no posters on the walls because I wasn’t that kind of girl. Instead, I just listened to music and stayed up late on my laptop, writing short stories that no author would dare think to publish. I didn’t write anything good but the point is that I wrote.
My bedding changed from some pink floral shit I had to a baby blue one with white polka dots. Dad didn’t know what to get me but I don’t mind. Times like this is when you need your mom but she’s busying with the new boyfriend who is twenty years younger than her. She just sticks around for Kelsey.
I collapsed onto my bed and set my alarm. I can get up earlier in the morning to take a shower. I’m tired and thinking about standing in the shower is super exhausting.