The Summer I Learned to Dive

Chapter 22

The next destination: the hospital. I wanted to see my grandparents and tell them how it went with my dad. I felt like I was on top of the world. I finally had a father and he was staying in my life for a very long time. All of those years I went to award ceremonies and other school functions, I felt a pain in my heart seeing that he was missing from the audience. When other dad’s stood and cheered for their daughters, I wanted what they had, a person in my life that I could call my dad. Knowing that I finally had that healed some of that open wound.

I pulled into the parking garage and parked my car. I walked quickly, in haste, toward the entrance. When I saw the amount of people waiting to get on the elevator, I decided to take the stairs instead. I was bursting with energy, in anticipation, wanting to tell them every detail and share with them what I had discovered about my dad.

Nearly out of breath, I walked into my grandfather’s room. He looked better than the day before, already having more color on his face. It was no longer pale, even a little rosy, like before the heart attack. Nana smiled at me and stood up. I hugged her and reached over to kiss Grandpa on his cheek. His face had not been shaven in a day or so, the stubble was rough against my lips.

“I just got back from Dad’s,” I said. Saying the word “dad” out loud was strange but exhilarating at the same time. “It went well,” I added.

They both smiled, eager to hear more. “I’m glad it went well. He was so nervous to meet you,” Nana said.

“I was nervous to meet him, too,” I admitted. “He’s so talented and we have a lot in common,” I replied enthusiastically, anxious to talk about him as much as I could.

Grandpa nodded his head and smiled. He motioned for me to sit down on the bed. I sat down, he patted my hand. “You remind us a lot of him before he got sick,” he said. I frowned which he must of read incorrectly. “He’s not so sick anymore, Finn,” he said trying to reassure me.

“Oh, I know,” I said and then took a deep breath. “The medication seems to help him, though.” It appeared that way to me and it was what I hoped for.

“It is,” he said. “Things were rough, actually, they were really bad there for a while. We didn’t know if he would ever get better. He had reached his worst point and we wondered if he’d ever come back. But over time, things have improved, he’s more like his old self,” he looked at me, trying to read my thoughts. My expression must have been blank because he stared at me incredulously, his forehead wrinkled. “He really is, Finn,” he added.

He wanted to assure me, to let me know that I could count on my dad. “That’s good to hear. I want him to be healthy and to get to know him better,” I said.

“Well, I know he wants to get to know you better, too. You’re all he’s talked about since he knew you were coming to see him. You should have heard him. He asked us a million questions about you. He wanted everything to be perfect,” Nana said and laughed gently.

She was happy, content that her son and granddaughter were back in her life and that her family was together again. It must have felt as good to her, as having them back in my life felt to me.

“I have something to ask you both,” I said, my tone serious. Nana moved her chair closer to me, sitting next to Grandpa’s bed. I was looking directly at them both now. I took a deep breath and then asked, “Would you allow me to live with you for a little longer?”

“Of course, Finn. You can stay with us as long as you like,” Nana said. “What about school, though?” she asked searching my face for an answer.

“Well,” I took another deep breath. I don’t know why I was so nervous, but saying this to them was difficult because I feared their reaction. I wanted to please them and hoped that they wouldn’t think I was making a mistake. I was sure of my decision, it felt right to me.

“I’ve been thinking about things and I’m going to defer admissions for a semester. I want to get to know you both better and help out at the diner until you get better,” I said looking at my grandpa. “And now that I have my father back in my life, I can’t think to let him go,” I admitted. A tear trickled down from my eye. I wiped it away, confused at my mix of emotions.

Nana looked at me, her face showed concern. “You’re welcome to stay with us, honey. But we could manage the diner; you need not worry about that. Finn, aren’t you giving up a lot if you stay and start school late?”

“I’m giving up a lot if I don’t stay,” I said. Grandpa squeezed my hand.

“This is your decision, Finn. Whatever you choose to do, we’ll support you, won’t we, Lilly?” he asked her, looking to her for guidance.

She slightly smiled. “Of course. Finn, if this is what you think is best, then we trust your judgment.”

“Good.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “This is what I want. I can’t lose you all now, not when I just got you back in my life.”

“We’re not going anywhere,” he said.

“You’ll never lose us, honey. You’re stuck with us for good,” she reached over to hug me.

***

I walked out of the hospital, feeling a sense of peace. I still needed to talk with my mother, to tell her what I was planning to do. That was going to be a difficult conversation. She may not be as understanding as my grandparents when I tell her that I’m staying in South Carolina for a while longer. So much had changed between the two of us. All of my life, she was my constant companion, my best friend. But when I discovered she had lied to me, it put a wall up between us. It would take a long time for those wounds to heal, for me to have that trust in her again. I really missed her. I missed us.