Four Summers

Four Summers - By Nyrae Dawn



To Kelley York.

You’re the type of friend who always comes through.

So glad we met all those years ago.

Thanks for having my back,

and taking this wild writing journey with me.





I’ll never forget the first time I saw Nathaniel Chase. I was fifteen-years-old and leaving cabin 3B with my best friend Alec, who up until that moment, I’d always figured was the boy for me. It wasn’t that Alec and I were in love with each other, but we still knew that was our future. Without ever talking about it, we accepted it. Everything changed when Nathaniel pulled up to our lake cabins for the summer. Now, I had another boy in my life. Another best friend, but this one only part-time. This one, I loved.





My legs hang over the dock, feet dancing in the water as they do every summer. It’s early June, but already sticky hot. Any time I can, I sneak away from Dad before he finds more work for me to do. The water is the only way to stay cool on days like this.

I make circles with my toes, watching tiny waves ripple out until they disappear and I wonder how long I’ll be able to avoid Dad. He seems to be immune to the heat. He’s spent all day every summer working outside at our lake cabins since he was a kid and Mom’s parents gave him a job. My grandparents are long gone now and the place belongs to him and Mom. I get the joy of working alongside him.

“Hey, Charlie Rae. I’ve been looking for you.” Glancing up, I shield the sun from my eyes to see my best friend Alec standing next to me in a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a red, sleeveless shirt showcasing the firm muscles that haven’t always been there, running the length of his arms. He smiles, showing me the little chip in his tooth he got when he fell off the tire swing when we were eight. Alec pushes a hand through his sun-bleached hair.

“Let me guess, my dad’s looking for me?” I groan.

“How do you know it’s not me who wanted to find you, huh?” He winks.

I shake my head. Alec is such a flirt. He playfully does it with all the girls, but he’s the only one who does it to me. Which, embarrassingly, makes my cheeks warm up a little bit. I know it doesn’t mean anything. Alec is just nice like that, but when he’s the only boy who’s nice to me like that, it makes it hard not to get girly. Even though he’s only my best friend and I know that’s all he’ll ever emotionally be.

When I go to stand, he holds out his hand, and I let him pull me up.

“So…your dad’s looking for you,” he says, making me roll my eyes.

“See! I told you, Captain Liar. Where is he?” Crossing my arms, I try not to pout. I’m not sure why I feel like it. Maybe because of his stupid teasing. Maybe because I’m annoyed that Mom and my sister, Sadie Ann, are sitting in our air-conditioned store right now and I’m the one who has to work outside with Dad. Not that I wouldn’t rather be with him than them. Dad and I have more in common, but it’s still not fair.

“Captain Liar?” Alec laughs. “You’re such a dork. I mean, a cool dork, but a dork all the same.” My face feels hot again, but for a different reason this time. Shoving past Alec I try to walk away, but he runs after me. “I’m kidding, Charlie. Wait up! Hey, what’s the problem?”

Actually, I don’t know what my problem is. Or maybe I do. I’m tired of being the “dork”. Tired of being teased and just plain old Charlie Rae. Never Charlotte. Charlie. “Just grumpy. And hot. Where’s Dad?” I pull my hair tie out before putting my long, dark hair into another ponytail. According to Sadie Ann, ponytails are “so out” but it works for me.

“He’s busy getting some boat rentals ready. He wanted me to tell you he needs you to make sure cabin 3B is ready. Got a family coming in. They’ll be here the whole summer.”

I don’t try to stifle my groan. Why would people choose to come here for a whole summer? They think it’s such a great place to spend time, when really it’s just because they don’t live here. I do. I know how much it sucks. Luckily, the people who come the rest of the year never stay very long. “What do we know about them?”

“Some rich family. Parents and two sons. They’re probably too afraid of getting dirty to end up in our way much, though.” We’ve seen it enough to know. Usually, we don’t pay much attention to the people our age who come here, and they’re the same to us.

“I hope so,” I say. “Okay, thanks for telling me. I’m going to go grab the key and get the cabin ready.” I wave at Alec, but he keeps going.

“I guess they’re going to be here earlier than your dad thought, so we gotta hurry. I’ll help you.”

I smile. What a sweetheart. These are the things Alec does that make him my best friend. He’s the only boy in Lakeland Village, Virginia that I can stand.

Really, there isn't much to do in the cabin anyway. It’s already been cleaned, but we like to freshen the cabins up before people get here so they aren’t so musty from being closed up.

Our store’s a little white building with blue trim. It matches our house, which is off to the side and behind it. When people say, “one-stop shopping” this is what they mean. The building houses the limited products for purchase, the rentals, and the office.

Taking the back door, I run inside the office to grab the customer key so I don’t have to run into Mom or Sadie Ann out front. My blue baseball hat is sitting on the counter so I grab it to help keep the sun out of my eyes while I’m working today. After putting it on and pulling my ponytail through the hole, Alec and I are on our way to cabin 3B.

The cabins? They’re much cuter than our house or the office, each one decorated in a theme or color. They're actual cozy log cabins. I can see why people would want to come here. It’s the living here year ‘round I’m still a little lost on. But what can I say? I know this place is going to be my future.

The area of land isn’t huge. There’s a small pond off to one side. We have ten cabins, some on the lake and some a little farther out. 3B is one of the nicest.

“You don’t have to help, Alec. I’m sure you want to go home and enjoy your summer or whatever.”

Just because I have to be stuck here doesn’t mean he should have to be, but because he’s a nice guy, Alec says, “Nope. Plus, I need the money. Your dad’s letting me help out this year.”

Alec is a year-rounder like us, though he doesn’t live at The Village, which is the name of our “dream getaway”. He lives up the street. Our parents are best friends, too.

He doesn’t realize how lucky he is not to have to work here, but I don’t say that. “Thanks.”

We do a quick sweep of the place. I freshen the potpourri, make sure the rooms are spider-web free, and all sorts of stupid things. Just as we’re walking out and I’m locking up, car doors slam behind me.

Great. I had hoped to make it out and put the keys back before they got here so Mom or Sadie Ann would have to be the ones to talk to them. They’re much better with people than I am.

As soon as I turn around, everything changes. My heart speeds up. I feel hotter, almost like I can’t breathe. I swear I’m not one of those annoying girls who pine for their stupid dream boy at fifteen-years-old. I’ve never even had a boyfriend. Or wanted a boyfriend. I’ve looked at tons of boys though: Alec, boys at my school who used to call me “flatty-Rae” instead of Charlie Rae because God obviously decided he could only give boobs to one Gates sister and chose Sadie Ann.

I’ve seen how boys look at my sister, but when I’ve looked at them, I’ve never felt…well almost like I have the flu, to be honest, but I’ve never looked at a boy and felt this.

I can’t see his eye color from this far. His hair is bark-brown, with streaks of gold when the sun hits it. One look at him says he’s so different than me. I shouldn’t be staring, but my eyes won’t move away.

I believe everyone has certain key moments in their lives they’ll never forget. Moments marking the beginning or end of something. Moments that will always own a little piece of you. You can track decisions you make or paths your life follows and they always lead back to one of these defining moments.

This is one of them.

I’m not stupid enough to think I understand it. I don’t believe in love at first sight or anything like that. I don’t even know this boy, much less feel anything, but he… This is one of my moments. I know it like my body knows it has to breathe to survive.

Mom, Dad, Sadie Ann, or probably anyone else would think I’m crazy, and maybe I am crazy because I’m sitting here thinking tons of thoughts that have no business in my head. Thoughts I’d laugh at if anyone else had them. I know who boys like him are. They’re stuck up, rude, think they’re better than us, and everyone here knows they always, always leave, but still…this summer boy just gave me my first moment. A piece of my life I will never forget.

“Hello? Earth to Charlie.” Alec grabs my shoulder. Immediately I feel the blush crawl over my whole body.

“Um… Sorry. I’m not feeling too well.”

The family is walking toward us. The dad is in crisp, new jeans, but with a button up shirt that looks like it goes with a suit. The mom is wearing a bright red summer dress, heels and a big red hat. The other boy looks exactly like my summer boy, but somehow…different. His hair is a little darker. He’s maybe an inch taller. They’re dressed like only summer boys are in expensive tennis shoes and ironed shorts. But still, I can’t stop looking. There’s an ease about him I don’t usually see in summer boys. A laid back expression that doesn’t completely fit what I’m used to.

“Hello! We stopped by the office, finished filling out the paperwork, and they said you’d have the keys?” The dad walks up to us, a perfect smile on his perfect face.

“Umm…yeah. Here. They’re right here.” I try to hand them to him, but they slip through my fingers and fall to the ground. My moment boy has reached us, and he bends to pick them up at the same time Alec and I do. All three hands zoom toward one destination. Mine touches his. It’s not one of those “electric” sensations books and movies always talk about. Maybe I wish it is or maybe I just feel silly touching him, but I jerk my hand back. In my rush not to look like I’m trying to hold hands with him, I lose my balance a little. The more I try to catch myself, the more I stumble until I’m on my butt. On the porch. And I’m dying.

“Charlie? Are you okay?” Alec abandons his quest for the keys and reaches for me instead.

“Charlie?” moment boy asks. Yes, I want to tell him. Yes, I have a stupid boy’s name! And no boobs, and I just fell in front of you! But of course, I don’t.

“I’m fine. I think I’m getting sick, or something. I need to go home and lie down.” And die!

“Okay…okay. I’ll help you.” Alec pulls me to my feet, putting his arm around me. Then to the summer family, he says, “Sorry about this. Everything you guys need should be in there. If not, call the office. I better get her home.”

“Definitely. I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well, dear,” the mom says.

“Thanks.” I can’t even look at her, so I talk to my feet instead. I let Alec lead me back home where I fake being sick again, lock myself in my bedroom and die of embarrassment.



“Charlie?” Alec’s voice sounds through my door before he knocks. I try to ignore it. Want to, but I know Alec. He’ll come right in. Hell, my parents have let him sleep over before. They don’t care if Alec has free reign in my house or my bedroom, which actually makes me feel like crap. Sadie Ann could never have a boy stay over. But me? I’m just Charlie. It’s not like any of the boys are going to want me anyway.

“Come in.” I sit up in my twin bed and lean against the wall. As soon as I do I remember my reaction to the summer boy and how big of an idiot I must have looked like. No wonder they probably wouldn’t care if Alec moved into my bedroom. It’s not like I’m real smooth with guys.

“Are you feeling better? Your dad asked me to come and check on you.”

Ah, so there must be outside work that needs to be done. Charlie work. Not work for Mom or Sadie Ann. “The only time you come looking for me anymore is when my dad sends you. Are you sure you don’t want to just be his best friend instead of mine? You love The Village as much as he does.” I cross my arms and turn away from him. I’m acting like a brat, but I don’t care.

“Shut up. Stop acting like such a girl.” He playfully pushes my arm before sitting next to me.

“I am a girl, you jerk.”

He laughs, but when I don’t join him, he quiets. Alec’s good at stuff like that. I get annoyed with him, but I know he cares about me. “Hey.” He scoots closer. “Believe me, I know you’re a girl, Charlie.”

I turn my head, feet on the bed, knees pulled up to my chest. My head rests on my arms that lie on my knees. “Yeah?”

“Of course. Your arms are puny.” He squeezes my bicep. “And your voice is high pitched. Oh, and you pout a lot—ouch!” He winces when I make a fist and hit him with all the strength in my “puny” arm.

“You’re a jerk!” I try to push off my bed, but Alec grabs my arm and pulls me back down.

“I’m kidding. You know that. What’s wrong?”

Everything and nothing at the same time. I feel both stuck and at home and comfortable and uncomfortable and I suddenly want to be free even though I don’t know what that means. “I told you, I don’t feel well.” I let him keep his arm around me and then rest my head on his shoulder.

“You’re a shitty liar.”

“I thought you would be too big a gentleman to call me on it.”

Alec sighs. “You know you can talk to me, right? What’s wrong? Is it Sadie Ann? Your mom?”

Alec’s the only person in the whole wide world who knows how I feel about my mom and my sister. Mom will never love me like she does Sadie and I know I’ll never be as good, or as pretty as my sister. Well, I’m sure people know that, but I don’t know if they know that I know all those things. Alec does, and even though he drives me just as crazy as they do sometimes, and he would be happy on this land every day like Dad, and wants me to be right here with him, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

“I don’t know what it is, Alec. I just feel…lost. Like I want more.”

“More of what?” he asks and I know he doesn’t get it. I don’t even get it, so I answer the only way I know how.

“More life.”





I don’t see the family from 3B for the rest of the day. I spend it out in the sun, working with Dad and Alec on boats. One of them is having some trouble and Dad considers himself a boat mechanic even though half of the time he makes things worse than he does better. We waste hours on something that we’ll have to call a mechanic about later, who will have to fix the original problem, plus whatever Dad messed up.

I get it. I know money is tight, and Dad has to hold onto every penny he can. I’m not dumb, but when it ends up costing more than it originally would have? That doesn’t seem like good money management to me.

We’re up early the next day. There’s a lot to do to get ready for The Village Bash. It’s the big night in the beginning of the summer. It’s basically the kick off to the summer season where the people in town come out and all the out-of-towners staying at The Village come and we pretend to know how to party and have a good time. We pretend we’re this fun place where everyone wants to hang out. I guess people seem to enjoy themselves. I used to. I’m not sure why that changed last year, or why this year I’m really not looking forward to it.

“What time is the band supposed to be here?” Dad asks. There’s a huge open area in front of the lake, not far from our store. The trees crowd in behind the area and behind our house where the bash takes place. The party area goes partway down the little strip of “beach” that leads around the lake. People don’t travel too far from the main area for the bash. This is where everything “happens.”

“Same as every year, Dad. Bash starts at four, they’ll be here at two to start setting up.”

“Shit.” He runs a hand through his slightly graying hair. He’s not old. I’m not sure why he’s going gray suddenly. “We need to set up the stage.”

I wait for it. Know it will come so I stand up, and as soon as I’m on my feet he says, “Charlie Rae? You think you and Alec could set up the stage?” It’s not hard. I mean, we can handle it. It’s not a big deal to just have Alec and I do it. Or…

“What about Mom and Sadie? I thought you wanted me to fix the fire pits?”

He shakes his head. “You know your mom or Sadie Ann can’t do the stage. I’ll finish the fire pits. Come on, Charlie. You’re the only one I can count on.”

He means Mom and Sadie won’t, not can’t. I’m pretty sure they’re not helpless. They probably wouldn’t even break a nail. But when he says that, reminding me how much he needs me and gives me that kind smile, it’s hard to stay mad at him. “Let me go grab Alec.”

Dad pulls me to him and kisses my forehead. “Thanks, kid. I love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.” Then I’m off to find Alec to put up a stage and then end up finishing the pits and to do whatever else to have a huge bash that I want no part of. One I wish I could disappear from all together.



The Bash is in full swing. I manage to hide out through the first couple hours, making excuses for reasons to go in the house or to the store. There’s live music, dancing, games, and food. People are laughing and talking and singing. Even Mom and Sadie Ann like The Bash. It’s their day to dress up and give people a reason to envy them. It’s the only time they seem to like having The Village.

I see Sadie dancing on the small dance floor in the sand and watch people circle it, clapping for her. Her dress twirls around her hips and long legs, and I look down at my cut-off shorts and take a minute to thank God that I realize comfort is more important than showing off the assets I don’t have.

Alec peeks his head through the door. “What are you doing in here, Charlie? Get’cha ass outside and dance with me!”

“I don’t wanna.” I know protesting won’t work. Alec comes in and grabs my hand and he’s dragging me outside. God, he loves this. Not the showing off and stuff like Sadie, but he loves The Village. A part of me wishes I could love it again, like I used to. It would be so much easier that way.

He smiles and it’s almost impossible for me not to do the same thing. I see his parents standing with Dad who has actually taken a small break to enjoy himself. Out here in the middle of it, I see how much busier it is than usual. I should be enjoying this. Why aren’t I enjoying this?

There’s a family of redheads who are staying in one of the cabins a little farther from the lake. They have a two-year-old who’s running around, making everyone around them dance. An older couple that Dad says is on a celebration of life. I guess the husband has cancer and they want to spend a month together on the lake. It’s both sad and romantic and I find it hard to look at them as they hold hands.

I know the other people filling our cabins are around too, so I try to focus on them.

They’re all having a good time.

“You’re going to dance,” Alec says.

“I’m not,” I tell him. “Plus Sadie is drawing everyone’s attention. I’m not going up there to dance by her.” Her black hair is shinier than mine. Longer than mine, just like her legs are.

“Then we’ll dance in the sand.” He’s still pulling and I’m still digging in my heels, but I soon give up because I know Alec won’t. He finds us a spot and we start to dance. I’m a tangle of arms and legs, but I don’t care and Alec doesn’t either. That’s part of the best friend code. Thou shall dance stupidly with friends.

I see some of the girls watching us, and they must be wondering what Alec sees in me. He’s gorgeous and way more social than I am. I know he doesn’t really see anything in me. He’s a flirt, but he never dates any of the girls. He plays sports and has his sporty guy friends, but when he’s not with them, he’s always with me at The Village.

The fast song changes to a slow one and Alec pulls me to him. I'm just as sweaty as he is, but I know he won’t say anything. I know he won’t care.

“See? Having fun isn’t so bad.”

“You really think this is fun?” I ask in his ear. I think maybe there’s something wrong with me. Something I don’t get or somehow lost in the past year. I always say Sadie thinks she’s too good, but can that be me, too? Do I think I’m too good for The Village, only in a different way than Mom or Sadie Ann?

“Sure.” Alec shrugs. “It’s always been fun. What’s not to like?”

I don’t know. I wish I did.

We dance a couple more songs and then hang out with some friends from school. Dad calls me away to help once in a while or to grab something or fix something or whatever other “Charlie” job brings itself to his attention.

After my errand to go get more ice, I come back outside. They’ve lit the tiki torches and the little twinkling lights that hang all around are lit as the sun starts to go down. It’s getting dark, my favorite time of the day. I love it at night. Love the darkness with those little specks of light decorating the sky. I like to pretend I can visit the stars. That I’ll ride one far away from here one day. It’s a kid’s dream. I know that, but I like it so I plan to keep on dreaming it.

Alec is surrounded by a group of people from school. Girls are all around him and a couple of the guys from his football team. I know I’ll hear it later if I leave, but I have to get away. Dad might need me or Alec will come looking for me, but I want to chance the stars by myself. Heading back into the house, I go out the back door, which leads to the woods. I don’t go deep, but stay hidden enough that I can walk around the Bash and toward the far area of the lake without anyone seeing me.

Once I clear the party, I head back toward the beach, staying close to the trees as I make my way down. I can’t go all the way to my favorite spot tonight. There isn’t time and I can’t stay long, but I just need a few minutes to…be. It has a good view here anyway.

I find a place to sit down by the water. The sky is painted midnight now and I watch the little lights I love start to dot the sky. They’re like candles, and every time a new one is lit, I smile.

“I’m pretty sure girls who sneak away to go exploring in the woods can be nothing but trouble.”

I jerk my head to the right to find the face that matches the voice from beside me. But I know. Without looking, I know it’s the summer boy.

“You’re not going to try to kill me or something, are you? You look like you want to kill me. Not that I would be scared. I just wouldn’t want to have to fight a girl.” He looks amused and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Don’t be an idiot, don’t be an idiot, don’t be an idiot. “What? Because I’m a girl I’m nothing to be afraid of? That’s a little sexist, don’t ya think?” I’m not super proud to admit this, but I kind of like it. Not that I don’t want to be a strong girl, because I do. But I like that he notices I am one. It lessens the chance he's going to ask me to put together a stage or lift something heavy.

“I bet you even followed me in case I needed help,” I say. “Who knows, a girl alone at night? Something scary might happen to her.”

I can’t see him real well, but I think he’s smiling.

“Nope. Didn’t want to protect you. You look pretty badass. Just wanted to see what you were sneaking away from—or to.” He sits down next to me. I feel a little jolt of excitement zip through me when his arm brushes mine before he pulls away.

“I’m not running from anyone.”

“Then why did you sneak around through the woods? You went back in the house, out the back door and through the trees to get here.”

“Holy stalker.” I scoot over a couple inches. “FYI, I am bad ass and I’m not afraid to use those bad ass skills if I need to.”

My summer boy laughs. “I don’t doubt that. And I’m not a stalker. Just…curious.”

Those words do something to me. Turn me inside out. They’re so simple, but there’s never been anyone in my life that’s been curious about me. Probably because everyone knows everything about me. I’m Charlie Rae Gates. My family has lived in Lakeland Village since it’s creation. Mom’s family opened The Village right after they got married. Dad was Mom’s high school boyfriend. He worked here. They got married and took over the place. One day it will be mine. Not Sadie Ann’s, but Charlie’s.

It’s my destiny. I was born to take care of The Village.

“I know. It sucks here. I don’t get why people come. You must be pretty bored if the only thing to do is be curious about me.”

“Ouch,” Summer Boy says. “Is that your way of telling me to get lost?”

“What?” I look at him and he’s looking at me and I wonder if this could be another one of my moments. No, I tell myself. That’s ridiculous. I don’t know this boy. I’ll probably never see him again after this summer. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…” I shake my head. “Never mind.” It’s not like I’m going to tell him I don’t understand how someone could be curious about me. I may be lame, but I’m not real stoked on making that public knowledge.

“How ya feeling?” he asks.

“Huh?” Then I remember yesterday. I ignore the urge to puke, not out of sickness, but embarrassment, and say, “Oh. Much better.”

“You live here?”

“Yep.”

“Like, all the time?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

“I guess.” Gah! What’s wrong with me? I sound like an idiot. “Where do you live?”

“Upstate New York.”

I look up at the sky and pretend the stars are lights in New York. I wonder if they’d compare to the stars here. If you can see the stars in the city. “I bet this place sucks compared to there.”

I feel him shrug. “It’s a whole hell of a lot smaller, I can tell you that.”

I laugh and wonder if maybe he won’t be so bad after all.

“So…is your boyfriend going to realize you’re gone, coming looking for you and then freak out when he sees us sitting here? My dad might freak out. He gets mad when I get caught fighting.”

It takes me a minute to realize what he means by boyfriend. I know, I know. It should be obvious, but everyone knows Alec isn’t my boyfriend. They all know I’ve never had one. “Oh, God. He’s totally not my boyfriend.”

“Looked like it to me.” I think there’s a laugh in his voice. I wonder if he’s laughing at me.

“Well, he’s not, okay? He’s my best friend.”

Summer boy stands. I do the same. Neither of us moves, we just stand there side by side.

“I’m pretty sure that’s code for he wants you. He just hasn’t made a move yet.”

I don’t reply because it’s so not Alec's style and this summer boy just doesn’t get it.

“Well, now that I’ve figured out the mystery to where you were sneaking off to, I had better go. I don’t want my parents to freak out. No, that's a lie. I know they won’t freak out, but I’ll pretend they might. My brother might be bored and wonder where I am though.”

“Oh…okay.” I’m bummed he’s leaving. I’m curious about him and liked the idea of him being curious about me. Waiting for him to go, I look out into the forever night at the stars I love.

“You like stars?” he asks.

“I love them. I sneak out a lot at night just to come look at them.” I don’t know why I said that last part, but I figure if I try to make up a reason, I’ll screw it up.

“Cool,” he says. “Sneaking out is fun. Maybe I’ll see you sometime.”

That quickly, summer boy turns and starts to walk off. He stops about ten feet away. “Do you want me to walk you back? I feel kind of wrong leaving you out here like this. Not trying to be sexist. Just…what’s that word? Oh, yeah, nice.”

I giggle. I’m not sure if I’ve ever giggled in my whole life. He’s funny. I like that. “Thank you for asking, but I’ll be okay.”

“Okay. Cat’cha later. Oh, what’s your name?” he asks.

I stall a few seconds and he probably wonders what’s wrong with me. He only asked my name. Shouldn’t be that hard of a question.

“Oh, yeah. It’s Charlie, right?”

I shake my head and look at him. “Charlotte. My name is Charlotte.”

“I’m Nathaniel. Cat’cha later, Charlotte.”

This time when Nathaniel walks away from me, he doesn’t stop.



Long after all the guests have gone back to their cabins, and everyone from town has gone home, Dad, Alec, Alec’s parents–Maggie and Randy–Sadie Ann and I are cleaning up the mess. It has to be ready for tomorrow, where we’ll be up bright and early for another day. That’s probably the only reason Dad made Sadie help.

“It sucks he makes us do this. It’s not our job,” she whines for the millionth time, as she walks by me. Like all the other times, I ignore her.

I’m thinking about Nathaniel. Still wondering what made him decide I was a mystery. Yeah, I know it was probably just because I went off from the group and hid out in the woods, but he had to have been watching me to know that, right? So why? What made him watch me?

Suddenly looking less annoyed than before, Sadie whispers, “Oh my God. Did you see the boys in 3B? They’re freaking gorgeous!”

No! No, no, no, no. I don’t want her to think that. Don’t want her to have anything to do with 3B and Nathaniel because he’s intrigued by me. He talked to me. She gets a part of everything, and I want this for myself. “No. I didn’t notice them.”

“I swear, Charlie. When are you going to grow up? You wouldn’t notice a cute boy if he kissed you. That tomboy stuff might be okay when you’re younger, but you need to get out of it.”

“I’m not a tomboy.” Kind of a lie. We both know I am, but who cares? Can’t I be both? Not like to wear dresses and notice cute boys?

“Whatever. I think the younger one is your age. Not that you aren't practically married to Alec already, but still. The other one is my age. I can tell. I think I heard them say his name is Brandon.”

“Cool.” I try to ignore her as I pull down keep filling the bag with trash.

“He’s going to be the perfect way to spend the summer, Charlie. I’m finally excited about something. I can’t wait to have him.”

She dances away. Sadness wraps its ugly, lonely hand around me. Brandon has nothing to do with Nathaniel, but I don’t want her to want him. Being around Brandon means being around Nathaniel and no one notices me when Sadie Ann is there. No one but Alec, who I know to the marrow of my bones doesn’t see me as more than his best friend. The one who doesn’t understand when I say I want more than the life I have right now. I think Alec looks at me and sees The Village he loves so much.