‘Don’t worry, Mia. And don’t let it play on your mind. The police are looking for her now. You did everything you could to help her but if she won’t help herself then there’s nothing more you could have done.’
So for the second time in my life, I will try to block out everything that’s happened and focus on what’s important, the family I have right in front of me. It works for a while, but when I go to bed and close my eyes, it’s Alison’s face I see. Will fell asleep on the sofa a couple of hours ago and I didn’t want to wake him so I left him to rest, but now I wish he was here. With everything else I had to explain to him, I forgot to tell him about Alison watching us that night, but now I wish I had, because she was there for a reason. She was there for me.
My phone starts to vibrate on the bedside table and I know without looking that it’s her, as if my thoughts have summoned her.
I don’t say anything but listen to her speak. ‘I know you’re there, Mia. We need to talk and there’s no one else I can turn to. Will you meet me?’
Every bone in my body screams out no, but somehow my words say the opposite. ‘Where?’
‘South Ealing station.’
‘Alison, you should know I’ve been to the police. You need help.’
She ignores what this means. ‘I thought you were helping me?’
‘I was… I am. But you’ve got to start telling the truth. You do realise you won’t get better unless you do this?’
There’s a long pause before she answers. ‘I know. But just come – alone, please. Don’t tell them where I’ll be. They’ll find me eventually, won’t they? I just want to talk to you first.’
When I don’t answer she makes another attempt to convince me. ‘You’ll never know what happened with Zach and Josie otherwise, will you? Because I won’t tell the police and they can’t make me talk. Whatever they do, they can’t make me talk.’
Alison is disturbed enough to mean this, so I have little choice. I tell her I’ll be there in ten minutes. Before I leave, I check on Freya and Will, watching them both for a few minutes, peaceful in their sleep. I try to tell myself I’m not doing this because I’m worried something will happen to me, that I’m soaking up their images to give me more courage.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper into the air. ‘But I need answers. I need to know, for Zach’s sake.’
* * *
Alison is already at the station when I head towards it. I didn’t want to wake Will by starting the car so I’ve walked here. She’s wearing a denim jacket, black leggings and bright white trainers that seem to glow in the dark. Her hair looks freshly washed, and I wonder where she’s been staying.
It’s past midnight now so the station is closed, but I’m relieved to see a group of young men across the road, perched on a wall with beers in their hands.
I don’t bother with pleasantries when I reach her. This woman has lied to me from the second I met her. ‘Start talking, Alison. What’s this all about?’
But she shakes her head. ‘Not here. I need to show you something.’
I take a step back. ‘There’s no way I’m going anywhere. We can talk right here or not at all.’
‘It’s not far from here, I promise. If you don’t want to come then that’s your choice. But like I said, I won’t be talking to the police. Though what does that matter? You’ve spent this long not really knowing the truth, so I suppose it makes no difference.’ She turns to walk away.
My mind is in turmoil and I grip my phone in my pocket. I should call the police now, it’s the safest thing to do. But then I will never know, because I don’t doubt that Alison will take this to the grave with her if I don’t give in to her request.
But before I can even make a decision, my feet are moving forward and I am following Alison Cummings, or Alison Frances, or whatever her name is, into a deserted street. The whole time I follow her she doesn’t turn around, but she knows I’m behind her. My shoes are flat but click against the pavement, the sound echoing into the night.
After a few more roads I know where she’s going. She’s taking me to the flat she used to share with Josie Carpenter. The flat where Zach died. The shortness of breath comes quickly, forcing me to stop and double over.
‘Are you okay?’ she asks. ‘I guess you know where we are, then.’ She takes hold of my arm and eases me up. ‘You’ll be okay. But we need to go inside.’
‘I… I can’t go in there.’
‘Yes, you can. You want answers, don’t you?’ Her voice is strangely gentle and soothing, as if she is the therapist and I the patient. But I can’t be fooled by her again. She has wanted to get me here all along.
‘No,’ I say again, but she’s leading me forward. Gently, but also determined and forceful.
‘How can we even get in there? Who lives there now?’
She pulls out a set of keys from her pocket. ‘Nobody. Do you believe in coincidences, Alison? Because I never used to. But when you were helping me look for flats I found this one available to rent. You wouldn’t have noticed it because it was two bedrooms and in Ealing, but I couldn’t believe it when I saw the listing. So I had to rent it. It’s as if it was meant to be.’
Again, I am lost for words, lost for a solution to this problem. If I go in there I am putting myself at risk, but if I don’t then I will never have the answers I need.
‘Are you coming then?’ she asks, already heading up the narrow path to the front door.
Trying to suppress the panic bubbling inside me, I follow her and step into the flat where Zach died.
The first thing I notice is the musty smell. It’s been masked with some air freshener but it’s still there, underneath, like a reminder of what happened here.
A ghost that won’t go away.
‘Just ignore the smell,’ Alison says. ‘The landlady’s found it hard to rent this place in the last five years so it’s been empty most of the time. She couldn’t believe her luck when I said I’d take it. So, anyway, it’s mine for six months at least. More if I want it.’
‘But why would you want to stay here, Alison? It’s not… it’s not good for you.’
‘Probably harder for you than it is for me,’ she says. ‘I didn’t lose someone I loved in here.’ Her words send a shiver up my spine. I shouldn’t have come in; I need to get out before it’s too late.
‘Come and sit down,’ she says. ‘The living room’s just here.’ She points to a closed door and once again I follow her.
The room is a surprise. It looks freshly decorated and the furniture appears to be brand new.
‘D’you like it?’ Alison says. ‘I thought I’d make an effort. Cost me a lot of money to do up, but it’s worth it. And the landlady said I could do whatever I want in here.’
‘Why have you done this? What’s it all for, Alison?’
She sits on the sofa and crosses her legs. ‘That’s a funny question to ask, when there must be so many other things you want to know. But I’ll answer. This is my home now – of course I want it to look nice. You should have seen it before. It was a typical student place, cheap carpets and boring magnolia walls. But I suppose neither of us cared. It was never meant to be forever.’ She stares at me and her eyes feel like lasers cutting through me. ‘Although, I suppose for Josie it was forever, wasn’t it? Her forever.’
Staying where I am in the doorway, I try not to let fear show in my voice. I need to keep calm and not do anything to set Alison off. If I can do this right, there’s a good chance I will make it out of here safely.
‘Alison, I really want to help you, so I think you should tell me what happened to Josie. What exactly did you do to her?’
Chapter Thirty
Josie
* * *