Alison has won. All along she’s wanted to screw with me and now she’s finally found something that will. Even though Zach has done nothing wrong, even a hint of anything like this would destroy his career. I can’t let that happen, not after everything he’s done for me.
Anger explodes within me and now I am out of control, witnessing my body doing something I never thought I could: rushing to Alison’s bed and grabbing her by the throat. Even the voice coming from me doesn’t sound like my own. ‘Go ahead, but if you do anything to hurt Zach in any way I will make it my mission in life to destroy your miserable existence. So make a choice, Alison, because if you spread these lies around, I will never let this go.’ And then I walk away, hearing her gulps as she tries to recover herself.
In my room I sink onto my bed and cover my face with my pillow to drown out my tears. I am no better than Johnny or Richard; Liv was right about me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mia
* * *
I didn’t tell Dominic that Alison’s been staying with me; I want to speak to her first, to give her a chance to explain herself. I’m sure she will have prepared for every eventuality, but everyone deserves a chance to defend themselves. That’s something Zach never had. Despite this, now I know how disturbed she is, it scares me to think her lies are symptomatic of something dangerous.
But when I get home, prepared for a difficult conversation, prepared for anything to happen, the house is empty. I call Alison’s name but only silence follows my words. I do a quick search of each room and am not too concerned; it’s possible she needed to get out of the house for some fresh air. But then I notice her bags are missing from the spare room. In fact, everything she brought with her has gone and the bed is neatly made, as if she was never here.
Panic begins to consume me; Alison was dangerous enough in my house – I know that now – but missing, she is even more of a risk. To me, to Dominic, maybe even to herself.
Even though I know she won’t answer, I try her mobile, leaving a message when her voicemail kicks in. ‘Alison, please call me. Whatever’s happened, we can talk about this. I’m on your side, just call me.’
Next, I try Will, relieved to hear his voice when he answers. ‘Is there any chance you’ve seen or heard from Alison?’
‘Um, no. Why? What’s happened?’
‘I went out this morning and when I got back just now she was gone. I mean, all her things have gone. Everything.’
‘Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? I was getting worried she’d never leave.’
‘No, it’s not a good thing. She’s… very unstable. More than I thought.’ But I can’t expect Will to understand this.
‘What exactly does that mean? Has she done something?’
I tell him I don’t have time to explain it right now but promise I will as soon as I can.
But, of course, he won’t let it go so easily. ‘Are you sure she hasn’t just moved out? You said she’d found a place.’
‘She has, but it’s not ready until Thursday. And she would have said goodbye if that were the case.’
‘I don’t like this, Mia. I’m coming over. I’ve got a meeting in half an hour but I’ll cancel it.’
‘There’s no need. I’m fine. She’s not here, is she?’
‘No, but I think you’ve got a lot to tell me, haven’t you?’
* * *
It’s funny how things can suddenly take a sharp turn. How carefully laid plans and ideas can quickly go awry when you’re thrown a curveball. Although I always intended to eventually be honest with Will about Alison, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. But he needs to know and I won’t keep it from him any longer.
We’re sitting outside in the garden, but the pleasant heat and bright sunlight do nothing to make what I have to tell him any easier.
‘I don’t understand,’ he says, once I’ve explained everything. His confusion is no surprise when it is only now that I’m starting to get any idea about who Alison really is myself. ‘Are you saying you think she killed Josie? That it wasn’t Zach after all?’
Now that the words are out there and no longer just in my head, they seem to make even more sense. ‘I don’t know for sure, Will, but I really think so.’
‘But why would she come to you for help then? Why would she insist Zach is innocent?’
This is the question that’s been plaguing me. ‘I think that was just to get my attention. There’s no way I would have listened to her otherwise. But she’s really disturbed, Will. Maybe she’s so out of touch with reality that she doesn’t even remember doing anything. It’s possible that she might actually believe Dominic is guilty.’
Will is silent for such a long time that I can almost hear his brain ticking. Calculating. Trying to make sense of what seems impossible. ‘And you believe this Dominic? Are you sure he can be trusted? What if he’s the one lying about Alison?’
I tell him that I wasn’t sure to start with, but after speaking to Alison’s parents and checking Dominic’s computer, I’m now convinced he hasn’t hurt her.
‘Okay, well, we need to go to the police. They’ll find Alison and hopefully get the truth out of her. There’s no other way to know, is there? Even if she walked through that door now I doubt she’d tell you what really happened.’ His sigh comes out as a whistle. ‘I knew there was something not right here, I just knew. I wish you’d told me before.’
‘But do you see why I couldn’t? I don’t turn my back on people, Will. I was only trying to help her. And find out the truth about Zach. I thought I knew it all, but then Alison turns up and it’s like a bomb’s exploded.’
He reaches across the table to take my hand. ‘Whatever the truth is with Zach, it doesn’t change anything in your life now. You’ve still got Freya, and you’ve still got me. Knowing about what Zach did never affected my feelings towards you. It had nothing to do with you. And if he’s innocent, well, then I’m happy for you and Freya. And I’ll still be here.’
I squeeze his hand because I’m too choked up to speak.
‘It still doesn’t make sense that she’s made up all these lies about her partner. She must have known you could have checked it out.’
‘The only way I can explain that is with how advanced her mental illness must be. Her bruises looked real, Will. What more evidence would I need? But now I think about it, they could have been carefully applied make-up. I was too shocked to stare at them and turned away pretty quickly.’
‘Come on,’ he says, ‘the sooner we go to the police the better.’
‘I need to get Freya first, Will. I can’t be away from her when I don’t know why Alison is so fixated on me, and we could be ages at the police station.’
He stares towards the back of the garden for a moment.
‘Tell you what. I’ll pick Freya up. You need to do this and I don’t think it should wait.’
* * *
‘Mummy! I thought I wasn’t coming home yet,’ Freya says, rushing through the door and into my arms.
I scoop her up and breathe in the smell of her shampoo. She is safe. We’re all here together, and everything will be fine. ‘Well, I missed you so much I asked Will to bring you home.’
‘I’m glad,’ she says. ‘But I think Grandma and Grandad were a bit sad.’
I tell her we’ll go and see them again soon and, appeased by this news, Freya rushes off to play in the garden.
As soon as she’s out of earshot, Will asks me what happened with the police.
‘They assured me they’re taking it seriously and that they’re look into everything, but I could tell the officer I spoke to wasn’t too convinced.’
‘I suppose they need to be careful until they’ve got evidence,’ Will says. ‘Just try to put it out of your mind. She could have done anything while she was here but she’s gone now and I really don’t think she’ll come back. Maybe she found out you’d gone to see Dominic and got spooked. That could be why she disappeared.’
I hope he’s right. After five years, I need this to end now.