I can understand his discomfort: he doesn’t think Alison should be here, doesn’t think I’m safe now I’ve let a stranger into my home. But Alison has no reason to be wary of Will.
‘So, Alison, what do you do, then?’ he asks, seconds after we’ve all sat down. The tone of his question makes me cringe, the accusation easy to detect – this really isn’t like Will.
In spite of this, Alison doesn’t appear to notice, or mind. ‘Mostly admin work. But, well, I’m taking a break at the moment. To sort some things out.’ She glances at me before turning back to Will.
Before he got here this evening, there were some things I had to get straight with Alison. I told her Will doesn’t know everything she’s told me, only that she used to know Zach and that she’s staying here to get away from her partner.
‘Why didn’t you tell him?’ she had asked, the stare she fixed on me accusing and judgemental. ‘He’s your partner, isn’t he? Doesn’t that mean you shouldn’t keep secrets from him?’
‘No, it means I need to do whatever I can to keep him from getting hurt. Will knows what he needs to know.’
‘Okay, I’m sorry,’ she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean to sound… I just wondered why.’
I had no choice but to be direct with her, despite how she might perceive it. ‘Alison, that really isn’t your business. All I’m trying to do is help you, and that doesn’t mean you can question other parts of my life.’
‘But you also want to know what happened with Zach, don’t you? That’s partly why I’m here, isn’t it?’
‘No. I know all I need to know. And there’s no photo any more, Alison, so we both have to let this go.’
‘Well, I’m not giving up on the truth,’ she’d said. ‘It always comes out in the end. I want Dominic to pay for what he’s done. Not just to me but to Josie too.’
In the end, although she hadn’t exactly agreed to keep things to herself, I have a feeling she won’t say anything to Will. She needs my help so why would she do anything to jeopardise that? But one thing I’m learning is that Alison is unpredictable. She barely said a word when she came home from the police station, and gave me no details other than to say that they took her statement and were planning to question Dominic that night. I put her reticence down to being a bit shaken up by the experience, but now, watching her with Will, I see she has made a quick recovery.
Things don’t get any better over dinner. Will bombards Alison with a stream of questions, and even my gentle kick under the table does nothing to stem the tide.
As soon as he gets up to go to the bathroom Alison turns to me, her voice a whisper. ‘He doesn’t like me, does he? Why? What have I done?’
I consider my answer carefully. ‘It’s not that Will doesn’t like you, he’s just a bit worried about this whole situation, that’s all.’
‘And by “this situation” you mean me staying here with you?’
‘It just took him by surprise. He’s used to me helping people whenever I can, but this is something quite different. It’s not what you’d consider a normal scenario.’
Her eyes drop to the table. ‘None of this is normal, is it? I mean, the whole thing with Dominic. How many people suspect their partners of this kind of thing?’
Alison seems to have forgotten to whom she’s speaking. This is exactly what I’ve had to deal with, although Zach was already dead by the time he was labelled a murderer.
‘Look, Mia, maybe Will would understand more if you told him everything?’ she says. ‘Maybe he could even help us.’
Everything I say to this woman seems to fall on deaf ears. I’ve already told her I’m trying to protect Will by keeping him out of this, so I don’t know why she’s pushing me to tell him.
‘Alison, I can tell you right now what Will’s words will be if I tell him everything. He’ll say that you were in the flat that night and that you didn’t tell the police. He’ll force me to tell them and I know that’s not what you want. He’ll say I should be worried about this.’ And the truth is, this is something I need to think about: Alison was there. She could very well have had something to do with it.
She stares at me, her eyes wide. ‘But I had nothing to do with it. I wouldn’t have come to you otherwise, would I? Surely he’d see that?’
I hear Will washing his hands in the downstairs toilet. ‘We’ll talk about this later, okay? Right now let’s just focus on you. You’ve been to the police today so that’s great. Next, we need to try and find you a new place to live.’
Alison stares at her plate, the timid girl again. All evidence of the defiant person she was just moments ago has gone. ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead, but I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. He’ll never let me stay in the house, even though we both pay the mortgage. He put more money into it to begin with so I don’t stand a chance.’
‘I know it’s scary but you can do this. I’ll help you as much as I can. A fresh start will be good for you, Alison.’ But as I say this I wonder if this is all it will take. She seems to have issues that go far beyond Dominic’s abuse – I just need to get to them. And when I do, I will know exactly what happened that night at that flat.
When Will comes back in, Alison clams up. ‘I might have an early night, if you don’t mind, Mia. It’s been a long day in so many ways.’ She glances at Will. ‘I’m sure you’d both like some time together, too, so I’ll get out of your way.’
‘You don’t have to do that,’ Will says, but his tone is still harsh.
Alison’s eyes widen. ‘Oh, no, that’s fine. Thank you for the lovely food, Mia.’ But she has barely touched hers.
* * *
Later in bed, I confront Will about his animosity towards Alison. I keep my voice low and speak right into his ear; she’s only in the room next door and I can’t risk her overhearing us.
‘I don’t like her,’ Will says. ‘There’s something about her that isn’t quite right – I noticed it straight away.’
‘I know what you mean, but how should we expect her to be after what she’s been through? She probably distrusts men now so it’s not surprising she was a bit off with you.’ Except she trusts Zach implicitly, even though she has no real evidence to suggest he wasn’t guilty of anything.
Will turns to face me. ‘No, it’s more than that. But I do respect that you’re helping her. In fact, I admire you for it. You’re a better person than I am, Mia, because I certainly wouldn’t let her stay in my house.’
‘I’m not a better person than you. Perhaps I’ve just been tested more.’ And if I was such a good person then wouldn’t I immediately believe in Zach’s innocence? I’ve wanted to over the years, but something within me wouldn’t allow it.
‘Just tell me it’s only for a few days,’ Will says.
‘It will be. But however strange she can be, she needs a break in life.’
He doesn’t say anything, and I try to distract him by pulling him towards me, my hands wandering across his body, even though it is hard to switch off from everything. But a few minutes later, when Will is lost in the moment, and I’m trying to shut out destructive thoughts, I hear a noise at the bedroom door. I strain to see into the darkness, but I can just make out the shape of someone standing there before they disappear.
Alison.
How long has she been watching us?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Josie
* * *
Spring is finally here and with it comes fresh hope for my future. I’ve heard nothing more from Liv or Richard, and have begun to think they might actually leave me alone now. Sinead still texts me regular updates on Kieren – the last one said he seems happy every time she sees him leaving the house with Liv, so my mind is put at rest, at least for now.
‘What are you thinking about?’ Craig says, rolling over so he’s facing me. It’s one of those rare April days when it’s warm enough for short sleeves, so we’re spending lunchtime in the park, lying on a blanket and staring up at the cloud-free sky.