The bar is noisy and crowded tonight and it’s just what I need to drown everyone and everything out. My little brother isn’t safe, Zach is practically washing his hands of me, and the girl I have to live with is borderline psychotic. I let out a raucous laugh because the only other option is to cry, and I won’t let that happen.
‘What’s so funny?’ Vanessa says. It’s just the two of us at the moment but I’m sure others will join us through the evening. That’s how it works with Vanessa. She just invites everyone out and whoever turns up, turns up. She doesn’t really care who she drinks with, as long as she’s out somewhere having fun. I don’t even think she’d care if she was here alone.
‘Life is what’s funny,’ I say, but she doesn’t get it and stares at me blankly.
‘Well, whatever it is, I think we need another drink. My round.’ She trots off to the bar and leans right over it to order our drinks. It’s obvious she fancies the barman but he clearly isn’t interested. Vanessa’s an attractive girl but she’s way too needy, and a trainee alcoholic on top of that.
Isn’t that a bit hypocritical coming from you, Josie? I shut that voice down and finish the remaining vodka in my glass. I won’t be like Liv, I can take it or leave it. Yeah, that’s what they all believe.
‘That guy’s staring at you,’ Vanessa says, placing our drinks on the table.
This is the last thing I need, but I turn to see who she’s talking about, just so I can be ready to shoot him down if he tries to approach me. But I know this guy. It’s Aaron – the sleaze Alison is still hung up on. Why else would she still be holding what happened against me?
‘Oh God, I know him. He’s a piece of shit.’ I crane to see who he’s with, expecting it to be a girl, but there are two guys sitting with him.
‘He looks all right to me,’ Vanessa says, raising her glass at him and putting on a flirty smile that doesn’t quite work.
‘Stop it.’ I pull her arm down and half her Malibu and Coke sloshes onto both of us and the back of her seat.
‘Oops,’ she says. ‘I’d better get another one!’
‘How about finishing what’s in that one first? I’ll get you another one later. It’s still early, isn’t it?’
She settles back down and stares at Aaron. ‘So what’s the deal with him? No good in bed?’ She seems to find this hilarious and throws her head back against the chair, soaking her hair in the alcohol we’ve just spilt.
I can’t deal with Vanessa’s nonsense right now. It was a terrible idea to come here, and now Sleazy Aaron is staring at me, probably plotting some kind of payback, just as everyone else seems to be. ‘Is anyone else meeting us tonight, Vanessa?’ I need someone – anyone – to dilute her out.
She shrugs. ‘Oh, probably, who knows,’ she says, and swigs so much of her drink that half of it pours back out of her mouth.
And in her I see my reflection. This is me when I’ve had too much and no longer care. It’s not attractive, but I keep ending up here anyway. I need to stop. As soon as someone else arrives to keep an eye on Vanessa, I’m out of here.
‘Come on, girl, it’s your round,’ Vanessa says, finishing her drink and slamming it down on the table. ‘You’re a bit slow today.’
I’m relieved to escape to the bar, but the whole time I’m ordering our drinks I can feel Aaron watching me. I turn around and he’s staring at me, scowling. I flash him a smile and turn back to get the drinks. Mine is just Coke this time.
Thankfully, when I get back to Vanessa, three of her friends are now crowded round the table. I’ve met them before but can only remember that one of the girls might be called Holly. But looking at her now, I’m sure I’ve got that wrong. I’ve had far too much to drink but I want to sober up now.
Just to prove you’re not like Liv? Who are you kidding?
I hang around for a few minutes, and once they’re all engrossed in conversation I make my getaway. None of them notice.
‘Leaving already?’ Aaron grabs my arm as I pass his table.
I yank my arm away. ‘Get the hell off me!’
He holds his hands up. ‘All right, calm down. Just being friendly.’
‘Sure you are,’ I say. ‘We all know how good you are at being a friend.’ I spit the last word at him.
I’m about to keep walking when I have an idea. Although Alison was weird before Aaron came on the scene, there’s no doubt her true hatred of me springs from the way he left the flat that night, which she still thinks is my fault. Now is my chance to try to put that right.
Without explaining myself I sit next to Aaron, ignoring the sleazy smiles from his friends. ‘So I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Aaron. I’ll give you a chance to put something right, prove you do actually have a shred of decency in you.’
The smile disappears from his face and I take pleasure in how easily I’ve insulted him. ‘And what would that be then? As if I didn’t know.’
‘Alison needs to know the truth. That evening you were at our flat I was only trying to stand up for her, to protect her. You know it, and I know it. In fact, she’s the only person who doesn’t. So I need you to tell her the truth. You said you were friends before so why would you treat her so badly?’
Aaron stares at me and grabs his bottle of beer. For a second I think he’s going to smash it across my face and I flinch back. But he only takes a sip, and thankfully doesn’t notice my reaction.
‘Look, I can’t be bothered with that shit. I’m done with Alison. She’s… Let’s just say she’s not all there.’
Again, despite everything Alison’s done, and her animosity towards me, I can’t help but feel protective towards her. ‘She’s fine. And she trusted you, so don’t be a piece of shit, Aaron.’
He doesn’t answer for ages, and I can tell he’s searching for something clever to say, glancing at his friends for inspiration or support – or anything, really – before finally speaking. ‘Okay, whatever. I’ll call her some time.’
That’s it. He’s given in. That was easier than I thought. I spring up, only too happy to get away from him and this place. ‘Make it some time soon, Aaron.’
But as I walk to the bus stop I wonder if I’ve done the right thing after all. Or have I just made things a whole lot worse for myself?
Chapter Twenty-One
Mia
* * *
After everything Zach did I know it’s better to tell the truth wherever possible, no matter how difficult it might be; the only exception is when you need to protect people. This is why, so far, I haven’t told Will about Alison. But even though I still can’t tell him exactly who she is, or what she’s said to me about Zach, that’s as far as I want the lie to stretch.
So now, as I sit in the car outside Alison’s house while she packs some things, I call Will and tell him what I can.
‘I don’t understand,’ he says. ‘This woman is a client of yours? And you’re letting her stay in your house? That’s just crazy, Mia. I think it’s a huge mistake.’
I still can’t completely trust Alison, but those bruises didn’t look self-inflicted. And by keeping her close I will be able to observe her, try and figure out if she’s telling the truth about what happened that night, or if she really is delusional.
‘She’s not exactly a stranger,’ I say to Will. ‘She used to know Zach. And she remembered I was a counsellor so she came to me for help. I can’t tell you the details but I need to keep her safe from her partner. She’s not ready to be on her own, Will, so this is the only option to get her away from him. Surely you can understand that?’
There is silence, followed by a heavy sigh. ‘Not really. All I understand is that it’s asking for trouble. I don’t like this, Mia. It sounds… dangerous. You hardly know her, even if Zach did. And then there’s her husband—’
‘Partner. They’re not married.’
‘Well, either way, this is really not a good idea. Surely there’s somewhere else she can go? She must have family. Friends. Or if not, can’t she stay in a hotel or something?’