“Thank you,” I said, shoving off from the desk.
I stopped walking when I saw her. I think I also stopped breathing. Everything faded away and there was only her. She was curled up on the bed, exhausted but perfect.
“We’ll give you some time,” Lucas said. He kissed her on the cheek and walked out with Alison and Ava. I hated the prick but that was pretty decent of him.
I didn’t take my eyes off her once as I walked over to the bed. My heart felt like it was trying to rip out of my chest. She’s okay. I sat down and pulled her into my arms. I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. She cried when I dug my fingertips into her back but I knew I wasn’t because I was hurting her.
“Shh,” I whispered. Fuck, she was okay. She sobbed into my neck for a little longer while I tried to figure out why I still felt far too many emotions to count.
“Sorry,” she said, pulling away and wiping the remainder of her tears. She was pale, much more than usual. She’d be feeling pretty sick about now I’d imagine.
“Promise me you’ll never do anything like that again. You’re my best friend and I can’t lose you.”
Looking up, she smiled with her eyes and replied, “I promise. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“Good, ‘cause I kinda like having you around.” Let’s face it, I loved having her around. “When can you go home?” I wanted her out. People died in this building and she had no place being here.
“I’m hoping tomorrow. I have to see some counsellor in the morning and convince her I don’t want to die. Hopefully, she’ll believe me and I can get the hell outta here.”
I took a deep breath. “You don’t want to die, do you?”
She shook her head and pleaded with her eyes for me to believe her. “What I did was stupid but it made me realise that I want to live. Really live.”
I believed her and sighed in relief. “Good,” I whispered and kissed the top of her head again. “My mum said two sessions a week. If you need more let her know.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Oh, how’re your grandparents?”
She was seriously asking me that after everything that’d just happened?
I did not want to have this conversation but I also couldn’t talk about death and suicide anymore either. “They’re good. They want to meet you.”
“Really? Talk about me much, do you?” she asked. Shit. Busted.
“A little.” She tilted her head and continued to stare at me.
“So, tomorrow you’re busting out,” I said, trying to stop her intense little gaze from pulling my true feelings out of me.
“I’m bugging them to let me go from the second I wake up.”
“If they won’t let you I’ll bust you out.”
She laughed and winced. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“You alright?”
“Yeah, but I’ve never felt so sick before in my life. I just need to stay still and I’ll be fine.”
I pulled the thick blanket over her. “Sleep it off, princess.”
“I will if you sing to me,” she whispered, already settling down and closing her eyes.
I sang Just the Way You Are quietly in her ear until she fell asleep.
Chapter Forty-Two
Kai
I sat at my desk at seven in the fucking morning, trying to focus on the computer screen. I’d never been in so early before, especially at the weekend. In fact this was only my second weekend in the year I’d worked here.
I was going crazy at home. Work was supposed to take my mind off Tegan and what she’d tried to do. It wasn’t. I felt sick and angry and as terrified as the day we found out Isaac had Leukaemia.
Visiting time for me – a non-family member and non-boyfriend – wasn’t until one o’clock. Lucas shouldn’t even be allowed to go in the morning but Tegan’s mum had swung it somehow. I fucking hated him.
“You alright?” Dad said, walking into my office and closing the door behind him.
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“Tegan doing okay?”
“She’s doing good, yeah.”
Dad sat down and I knew I was about to have a deep and meaningful conversation with him. “That’s good. She’s a good girl.”
I was glad he could see that, too. Under the I-don’t-give-a-shit-anymore exterior she was a good person.
“How are things?”
“Things?” I asked, pretending I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“You. How are you?”
“I’m fine, Dad.”
“You finally get your life together and meet a girl you really like and she’s with someone else.”
“Thank you, anytime you want to bring that up…” I said.
He held his hands up. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you, don’t want to see you hurt.”
Then I definitely wasn’t going to tell him that being in love with someone who was with someone else fucking killed.
“I’ll be alright. She’s got a lot of stuff to go through and as much as I want to be with her I wouldn’t want to do that until she’s okay.”