“Can I come? Please,” I asked. I’d get down on my knees and beg if I had to.
“Please?” Alison added. “Tegan would want him there.”
“Okay, but you can’t stay long.”
“I just need to see that she’s alright.”
“This is her room, I’ll be back in a while to check on her,” he said as he gestured down the hall.
She was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Fresh tears stained her face. She’d never looked so lost or so down before. I wanted to run away as much as I wanted to stay. Being with her was hard but at this point I couldn’t imagine not being with her. It hadn’t been long but I felt so connected to her.
I walked over and stroked her cheek. “Hey, shorty,” I said. My heart squeezed seeing her lying on that bed. She blinked heavily and looked a little dazed. The oxygen mask was lying around her neck and there was a bandage on her wrist.
“Hey,” she said weakly, not looking from the same spot on ceiling. She was so pale that she looked ill, like she had the flu. But she was here.
“Honey. What…?” Alison asked, trailing off. I don’t think she could finish the sentence. A tear rolled down Tegan’s cheek. I gently brushed it away with my thumb and kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry,” Tegan whispered. She rolled onto her side, curled up as small as she could, buried her head in the pillow and cried.
I knew time was a healer but I didn’t feel like we had much time. She needed months, years, but she was hanging on by a thread.
“It’s okay now,” I said, stroking her hair. “I love you, you’re going to be alright. I promise, Tegan, you’ll be fine.”
She cried until she choked. That made her calm herself down. The whole time she ignored that we were there and when she was done she stayed in her protective ball and stared into space.
There were so many questions we had for her but neither I nor Alison and Ava had a clue how to handle this Tegan. Not that we had a clue to handle her how she was either.
“Honey, I need you to talk to me,” Alison said. “I have to hear you tell me you’ll never do anything like that again.”
Squeezing her eyes closed, she replied, “I won’t. I’m tired. Please let me sleep.”
Alison and Ava frowned at each other but I got it. She couldn’t look at us, couldn’t talk to us. She was ashamed and regretful. Thank fuck for that, I finally felt like she had a chance at coming back from whatever dark place she was in.
“Sleep then, baby,” I said, kissing the top of her head. She’d be fine. But I wasn’t sure if we would be.
Chapter Forty-One
Kai
Tegan didn’t answer so I slipped my phone back in my pocket and concentrated on the conversation my parents, sisters and grandparents were having. Nan had fallen over again last week and sprained her ankle. I lost count of how many times we’d told the stubborn woman to stop using the bloody stepladder.
She was taking a while to heal and if there was one thing Nan hated it was feeling useless. We were over to try to take her mind off of it, at my expense since Tegan had just been mentioned for the ten millionth time in three short hours.
“So, tell me more about this girl,” Nan said. I glared at Mum and she looked away quickly. She wasn’t supposed to tell the nosy old woman anything about Tegan because I knew this would happen but she just couldn’t help it.
I sighed. “She’s just a friend.” I had to force the word out. That was all she wanted from me though, so it was tough luck, Kai.
“Really honey? Your mum said you’re in love with her.”
“I’m going to make some tea,” Mum said, jumping up and making a quick exit. Why the fuck would she tell Nan something like that and how fucking obvious was it?
“You love her?” Nan asked.
“Yeah, it’s so painfully obvious,” Elle said. Oh, good, that obvious. Groaning, I shoved my hands through my hair. “Don’t worry, she clearly still thinks you’re cool with being friends. See, Nan, Tegan has a boyfriend but it’s complicated. Kai’s in love with her and they’re so great together. She just hasn’t realised how she feels about him yet.” I didn’t even need to be here.
Nan raised her eyebrows at me. “You should just kiss her.”
I laughed. Yeah, that’d go down well.
“Thanks for the advice, Nan, but I think I’ll wait.”
“Just what every girl wants, a guy that waits,” she said sarcastically. “Whatever happened to fighting for what you want? That’s what you should do, honey, go and tell her how you feel.”
My phone rang. Alison? Why was she calling me? “Hello,” I said.
“Kai.” My heart stopped beating when I heard her sobbing. Tegan. Fuck.
“What?” I whispered, trying to stop the churning in the pit of my stomach.