“Tegan!” I shouted, snapping back to life. Fuck, no. I dropped beside her and with shaking hands, shook her shoulders. “Tegan, wake up, talk to me. Baby, no, come on, get up.”
She was clammy and cold. “Help!” I bellowed in the direction of the door. Pressing my forehead to hers, I pleaded, “Wake up. Please, don’t do this to me.”
I fought the urge to chuck up. The smell of her blood burned the back of my throat.
I felt the same level of fear as I did when Dad went in for the transplant and I wasn’t sure if I’d see him alive again. It took me right back there to a place of pure terror and the feeling of having absolutely no control.
Alison screamed her daughter’s name and on dropped the other side of her. Someone, I wasn’t sure who, was already on the phone, snapping that they needed the ambulance service.
I hadn’t cried since Dad’s diagnosis but I couldn’t hold off now. “Wake up, please. Tegan, please, I love you, wake up.” There was a small bottle of pills beside her. I picked it up and launched them against the wall. What the fuck was she thinking?
“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” Alison chanted, lifting Tegan’s head on her lap and stroking her hair. “Everything’s fine, you’re okay.”
Ava hugged her mum from behind, sobbing into her back. “It’s alright, Ava, she’s fine. I can’t lose her, too. She’s okay. My baby will be okay.”
Only she wasn’t fine. Her chest rose and fell but it looked weak.
Please.
Time stood still as we waited for someone to come and help her. I didn’t know what to do. Jake had a towel to her wrist but beyond that we were clueless. I was too stunned to even think straight.
Then we heard sirens and all sat up. I’d never been so happy to see anyone as I was when Grace showed two paramedics into the room. We were told to step out of the room and give them space to work. Alison stayed beneath Tegan, telling the paramedics that she would be okay and Jake took over giving them helpful information.
And me, well, I stood by the door, watching in horror as the girl I loved lay limp on the floor. Mum and Grace both hugged me. They both whispered comforting words. I didn’t feel anything other than panic and despair. I wanted to believe Alison but I knew she was just saying what she needed to believe.
Tegan was picked up and whisked out to the ambulance that Alison got in the back of. I followed and watched them drive away. It didn’t feel real. All I wanted to do was to wake up.
“Lucas,” Jake said, slapping my back. He frowned at me like I’d lost it. “Come on, we gotta go. I’ll drive you.”
I had no idea how we got to the hospital or the waiting room but we were sitting around in a cheery blue room, waiting for news. Alison was still convinced Tegan was okay. Watching her pain over her daughter was unbearable. But then so was what I was feeling.
When we arrived she was being worked on and I couldn’t see her. I just wanted to know what was going on but the nurse didn’t have minute updates.
Sitting on a chair since I arrived, I’d been staring off into space. I couldn’t lose her. She was only seventeen fucking years old. Tegan had to be okay because there were so many people in her life that needed her to be. She had to get better – physically and mentally – and live the long, happy life she deserved.
I should’ve done more. Blowing out a deep and painful breath, I ran my hands through my hair.
“Lucas?” Jake shook my arm. “Hey, come on, Luke. She’ll be fine.”
“Jake, if she dies, I can’t...”
“Can’t what?” he asked cautiously.
“I don’t know.” I wouldn’t do what she did, not ever, but I knew that if she died a piece of me would, too. She lost so much when Simon was killed. I was supposed to make it better. I needed her to get through this so I could do that.
“Mrs Pennells?” a doctor said as he walked into the room.
I was on my feet along with everyone else.
“We’ve pumped Tegan’s stomach and we’re now giving her some oxygen. She’s awake but drowsy. We thought she’d need stitches in her wrist but fortunately the bleeding has stopped so we should get away with just bandaging it. However, if the cut opens and bleeds again she may need to have them. I’ll ask that only immediate family come through to see her now.”
That was all I needed to hear. My tense muscles relaxed a little.
Alison burst into tears. “She’s okay. Oh, thank God.”
The doctor nodded. “We’re referring her for counselling and she’ll need to stay in for a day or two, we’ll see how she is tomorrow.”
“When will she start counselling?” Ava asked.
“We’ll arrange for her to see someone here, her name’s Judy Cross and she’s incredible. Judy will assess Tegan and then arrange for her to see someone local to you.”
“She’s seeing someone once a week now,” Alison said.
He nodded. “Okay, well, perhaps she needs more frequent session but you can discuss that with Judy.”
“Yeah, okay,” Alison said. “Can I see her now?”
“Of course, Mrs Pennells.”