“Hawke wouldn’t spy on me.”
“So, it was the most boring visit on the planet?” She poured the drink into the plastic cup then handed it over to the customer. “Have a nice day.” She turned back to me when we were alone. “Because that sounds like a snooze fest.”
“What were you expecting? We’re just friends.”
“Shut up. You are so not just friends.”
“We are.” For the most part.
“I can’t believe you didn’t hook up. With a gorgeous man like that, at least have a friends-with-benefits relationship.”
“Not my style.”
She rolled her eyes. “Life is too short not to have an orgasm every day.”
“Who said I didn’t have one every day?”
Another grin stretched on her lips. “You dirty bird.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve seen my vibrator.”
“I bet you think about Hawke.”
I tried not to blush and give it away. “Maybe…maybe not.”
“Whatever.” She swatted my arm playfully. “I’d think about him.”
I’m sure a lot of girls did. “How’d it go with Anthony?”
“Fine,” she said in a bored voice. “I paid for my rent by sleeping with him. When I left, I ended it.”
I tried not to laugh. “That’s pretty messed up, Marie.”
“You think he cared?” she asked with a laugh. “He got laid all week. Believe me, he’s fine.” Marie looked toward the door when the bell rang. “Your vibrator just walked inside.” She shot me a wink before she walked into the back.
I turned to see Hawke at the counter, dressed in his work clothes. It was the first time we’d seen each other since I returned to my house. We still hadn’t talked about that painful night with his mother. I could still see the broken table and chair behind my eyes. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He stared at me with that hard gaze, not blinking.
I sauntered to the counter then tucked my hair behind my ear. “Regular?”
“Espresso.”
“Coming right up.” I made it then placed it in front of him. “$2.15.”
He passed me the cash without taking his eyes off me.
I returned the change.
The interaction was more tense than usual. I knew he was waiting for me to ask about that evening. But I refused to do it. Why question someone about something they didn’t want to talk about? If I were patient enough, he would come to me. “How’s your day?”
“Pretty boring.” He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one else was in line. “Axel made a necklace out of paperclips and tried to get me to wear it. That was the highlight of my day.”
I rolled my eyes. “Axel is a child in a man’s body.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” He tried to hide the sadness in his eyes but I could still see it. I wanted to hug him but the counter separated us. “How was your day?”
“Good. I turned in my history paper—finally.”
“That thing was longer than the bible.”
I released an irritated sigh. “You’re telling me. Thank you, Wikipedia.”
He chuckled. “Imagine what it was like to go to college without the Internet.”
I kept a straight face. “I wouldn’t have gone.”
The gloom started to fade away. “I’d definitely reconsider it.”
The bell overhead rang again and someone walked inside. “Well, I should get back to work.”
He continued to stare at me like he had something to say.
I patiently waited for him to spit it out.
Hawke seemed to change his mind because he walked away without saying another word.
***
A week later, at 11:30 in the evening, my phone vibrated with a text message.
You awake?
I knew this moment would come. I’d been waiting for it to happen. Every time I was alone with Hawke, he had a look in his eyes that told me he wanted to talk about that night but didn’t know where to start. Then he quickly abandoned the attempt and talked about a different subject that was completely irrelevant.
But now he was ready to talk.
Are you outside?
Yes.
Be there in a second.
I pulled on my pajama shorts and put on a bra under my tank top. I didn’t bother fixing my hair or throwing make up on my face. He’d seen me like this many times.
The second I opened the door, the chilly air moved inside. It burned my warm skin the second it touched me.
Hawke stood outside wearing a hoodie and jeans. His breath escaped his nose as he breathed slowly. His blue eyes were glued to me like they needed to look at me in order to go on.
I opened the door wider and allowed him inside.
Wordlessly, he locked the door then followed me back into my bedroom. Marie’s door was closed, and I knew she wouldn’t even know Hawke was there because he usually left early in the morning before her alarm went off.
I got back into bed and pulled the sheets to my shoulder so I could be warm again.
Hawke removed all his clothes except his boxers, looking like a chiseled statue, and then moved under the sheets beside me. He pressed his chest into my back and hooked his arm around my waist. His face was pressed to the back of my neck, and every time he breathed, I felt the air brush against my skin.
My hand moved on top of his and our fingers touched.