“Yeah…my family.”
This was where I had to hone in on my acting skills. I could match her defiance with more defiance. I could meet her moves with alternative ones, and silently call her bluff with bold actions. The one thing I couldn’t handle was seeing her hurt or upset. It was never something I could deal with very well. Which was probably why she always got what she wanted from me. But if I had any desire to get through this, I had to remain strong and ignore the way she yanked on my heartstrings.
“Who also happen to be like family to me, too.”
“But they’re not. They’re not your family, Holden. They’re mine.” She jabbed her finger at her chest and took a step toward me. “And you’re the one who said I need to get closer with them. Isn’t that why you made me move in here? To reconnect with my family? How do you expect me to do that when you won’t include me in things they’re involved in?”
I steeled my expression and took a deep breath. “Jelly,” I said with a sneer, knowing it’d get under her skin. It’s not like I sought to piss her off, but I needed something to replace the feelings of remorse I had toward her, and I couldn’t turn back now. Not after the shit she pulled last night. “The Brewer family is rather large. Aside from your parents, you have your oldest sister, Nikki. She and her husband have three kids, all girls, who I’m sure would love to have some quality time with their cool, young aunt. Then there’s Stacey and Tony with their two kids. Even if Rachel and Steve decide to go out on the boat today, you still have plenty of other family members to bond with. You don’t have to be with me to do that.”
“If I have to stay here to sign for a package, then how do you expect me to see anyone?”
I shrugged as if I hadn’t already thought this out. Unfortunately for her, she left me with lots of thinking time last night to contemplate all kinds of scenarios to run with. “Who knows…maybe UPS will get here early enough for you to spend the rest of the day with one of your sisters or your mom. Or you can always call them. There’s this neat invention called a phone, and it comes in handy when you want to talk to someone without being with them.”
“I know what a phone is, jackass.”
“You sure? Because no one around here heard much from you while you were away, so I just figured you didn’t know you could call and keep in touch.” With my hands on my hips, I hung my head and shook it in mock shame. “I really wish you hadn’t told me the truth. Because now…” I glanced up at her and caught her smoldering attention. “Now I can’t help but think you didn’t reach out to any of us because you didn’t want to. And the only reasons I can come up with are hurtful.”
She closed her eyes and huffed, clearly irritated with my taunting. “Either that or I was busy with classes. You stayed here for college, which made it easier to stay connected to everyone. I was hours away. Don’t judge. And don’t act like you know what was going on—with me or my family.”
“Whatever, Janelle.” I had so much I could’ve come back at her with, but I didn’t want to argue. I wanted her to accept that I had the upper hand so she’d stop fighting and give in. But she seemed determined to block my every move, making it that much harder to stay on top. One thing was for sure, though—I had to stop letting her get to me. “If you want to spend time with your family, do it. This is your house now too, Janelle, so if you want to invite them over, by all means, invite them over. You don’t need my permission to have one of your sisters come here.” I pinned her with a stare, hoping she noticed my genuine disappointment, and then turned to walk away, leaving her with my words to chew on.
“Is this your way of getting back at me for last night?” Her question stalled my retreat and made me glance at her over my shoulder. From the quiver in her voice, I expected to catch her bottom lip trembling, but it wasn’t. Instead, an angered woman stood behind me with her arms crossed over her chest and a fire in her eyes I hadn’t seen in years.
I turned all the way around to face her, to look her square in the eyes and make sure she heard every word I had to say. “Get back at you for what, Janelle? There’s nothing to get back at you for. You went out with your friends. Big deal,” I added with a nonchalant shrug. “If you purposely snuck out to teach me a lesson…I hate to say it, but I didn’t learn anything. Whatever it was you were trying to show me, I didn’t see it.”
“It didn’t make you mad?” And there was her first card, reflected in the shades she thought cleverly shielded the truth in her eyes, but little did she know, it gave far more away than she anticipated.
“Why would it make me mad?”
“Because you said you wanted to go with me, and when I said no, you planned on us staying in.”
“To be honest, I expected you to leave.” And I did. Once I realized she had left while I was in my room changing out of my work clothes, I wasn’t all that surprised. Let down, sure, but not surprised. “I guess I had hoped you wouldn’t, but you did exactly as I anticipated…so again, why would I be mad?”
“Okay, fine. Maybe mad isn’t the right word. Disappointed? Upset? Hurt?”
I licked my lips, and then celebrated in the way her eyes fell to my mouth and followed my tongue. The sight of her breath hitching pumped me full of adrenaline. But I refused to let that deter me from my plight. “Had I not already accepted the fact that you aren’t the same person I once knew, then yeah. I probably would’ve been disappointed and upset. But you see, you’re not the same. At all. Not even close to being the same Janelle who used to spend her afternoons with me on my couch in front of the TV. You don’t at all resemble the girl who used to give me a run for my money in pop culture trivia. You’re the person I expected to sneak out while I was in my room last night.”
Her chest heaved with labored breathing and her gaze bounced around from one thing to the next. It was obvious her thoughts wouldn’t slow down, and the longer she stood in silence, the more emotional she became. If I didn’t walk away soon, there was a good chance I would cave and offer her comfort against the harsh sting of my words.
And I couldn’t afford to do that.