I Do(n't)

“For what?” I stared at him unblinkingly.

“To watch TV. Your pick. Movie, binge on a show, or just flip through the channels like you used to do. I don’t care. I’ve got some cold drinks in the fridge, and I can order pizza or whatever you like.” No longer did he show any signs of the controlling “husband” or the downtrodden friend. He seemed almost giddy at the prospect of sitting on the couch all night watching whatever and stuffing our faces with shit. We’d only ever done that a few times in the past, all of which were during the weeks following my breakup with Justin.

The entire situation confused me. It was so difficult to understand how sincere he really was, and when he looked at me like he just did, it made it harder to remember that I didn’t want to be here. Not in his house, not as his wife, and sometimes, not even as his friend. I had to close my eyes and remember the way it felt to sit on a plane, next to an empty seat, and fly home alone…after having sex. I had to remind myself how degraded he made me feel that entire summer, when he treated me like some random hookup he tried to avoid.

I remained still while he walked away from the bedroom, and then I waited to hear the familiar sound of his bedroom door closing across the house. Feeling smug, I carried my shoes to the front door, slipped them on, and then quietly snuck out. If he wanted to watch TV and gorge on pizza, then he’d have to do it by himself.

Holden was about to learn that I wasn’t interested in his games.





5





Holden





I hated playing these games, but Janelle didn’t leave me much of a choice. I knew her motive was to get under my skin so I’d kick her out sooner. Little did she know, I could tolerate a lot. More than she could fathom. And no matter how I felt about her, or what feelings I’d had for her long ago, I didn’t ask her to stay here for me. This had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the family she’d turned her back on. The same people who had taken me in when I was a kid and held onto me. I’d do almost anything for them, and I knew how much it would mean to every single member of the Brewer family if they had her back.

Killing her with kindness didn’t work.

So now I had to try something else.

When she finally came out of her bedroom the next morning, I was at the kitchen table, finishing up my breakfast and cup of coffee. She hesitated as she entered the room, her eye contact intermittent and full of doubt. I knew right away she either felt bad for her actions, or she was still half asleep. Either way, she lacked the haughty attitude I expected her to have. Rather than rub last night in my face, she awkwardly hung around, almost waiting for me to make the first move.

“Morning. I didn’t hear you come in last night.” Such a lie, but I wasn’t about to let her know I’d laid in bed and stared at the ceiling fan spinning ’round and ’round until I knew she was safely inside. “Did you have fun? I hope you didn’t drink and drive.”

“I had a blast. Hadn’t seen them in a while, so it was nice to catch up. And no. I didn’t have much to drink. I was good to drive home. What did you end up doing?” She grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and leaned against the counter, making it impossible to notice anything other than her long legs peeking out from beneath her cotton sleep shorts. So creamy and soft…and long.

It seemed this woman could torture me without even realizing it.

Doing my best to ignore her and all her first-thing-in-the-morning glory, I carried my empty fruit bowl to the sink. But as it turned out, washing a dish didn’t stop me from thinking of the way her hard nipples showed through her thin T-shirt. Before I could chance speaking, I had to clear my throat; otherwise, I would’ve sounded like I was twelve all over again. “I watched a movie and made a few calls.”

“Let me guess…work calls?”

I dried my hands and turned to face her, reminding myself to keep my eyes above her neck. Except, doing that only made me take notice of her hair, which she wore in some sexy, sloppy bun on top of her head with pieces falling out to frame her clean, fresh face. Damn…she really did just get out of bed. And that thought only made me think of what she looked like when she slept—which I had firsthand knowledge of.

“Actually, no. It wasn’t work related, unless you count talking to your brother as work related.” Considering I’d spent so much time at the office since she arrived, she more than likely assumed that was all I did. And to be fair, I did spend a lot of time there, but I wouldn’t have considered myself a workaholic. What she didn’t seem to understand was that between Matt and me, we’d both taken quite a bit of time off lately, and in order to keep our accounting firm from falling apart, we now had to pick up the slack. Which was why I ended up staying at the office until almost midnight her first day in town, and then well past dinner the next night. But this was the weekend, and unless something urgent came up, neither of us would go into the office.

“Oh, yeah? And what did Matthew want?” It was almost as if she called my bluff.

“We’re taking the boat out on the lake today. Weather is supposed to be amazing, so we’re going to pack up a cooler with some beer and sandwiches and spend the day on the water. It’s going to be great.” I gave her the smile I knew she couldn’t resist—because she’d told me so many years ago while she was drunk, and I chose to believe that was the truth.

“Oh!” She perked right up, excitement lilting her tone. Her intoxicating blue eyes brightened and widened, adding to the broad, infectious grin on her perfect lips. As it turned out, I wasn’t the only one with an irresistible smile. “That sounds like so much fun. Is Christine going, too?”

“Yeah. And I think Rachel and Steve might, as well, but only if your parents can watch Kennedy,” I said, adding in that her youngest sister would be joining us. “Your other sisters already have plans, so they won’t be able to go. But they’ll be at dinner tomorrow, so it’s not that big of a deal.”

“When will everyone be ready?”

I knew I had her right where I wanted her. “Soon. I still have to stop by the store and grab some drinks and ice. Matt and Christine said they should be down at the dock in about an hour.”

“Okay, then I’ll make it fast. I already shaved my legs, so I won’t need to do that.” She just had to go and point out how her legs were soft and smooth, making me yearn to touch them just to see if she was right. And once again, I had her legs on my brain—so creamy and soft…and long.

She made it halfway down the hall before I managed to snap out of it and say, “Wait. You’re not going. I have a package being delivered today, so I need you to stay here to sign for it.”

She turned on her heel and met my stare with confusion. “I thought you said we are going out on the boat?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you and me. I meant me and Matt, as well as a few other people.”

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