Holden had made me swear on the unknown name of my potential firstborn child that I wouldn’t pry into whatever my family had kept from me. I figured it was because he’d made the whole thing up. Regardless, I kept my promise—as odd of a promise as that was.
“Well, I mean, yeah…we didn’t exactly stay in touch or remain as close as we once were, but that kind of thing happens all the time. He’s four years older than I am, so our lives were in completely different places—he’d just graduated from college, and I was getting ready to attend one. He was getting settled in, ready to start his career, bought a house. What was I doing? Packing up my childhood belongings and moving away…not to start a career or buy a house, but to go to school. So I guess we just didn’t really have anything to talk about or have enough in common.” I knew I had to stop talking before my emotions bubbled to the surface. Apparently, discussing that time in my life, especially regarding Holden, was too difficult and left my voice quivering and the backs of my eyes burning with unshed tears.
“Well, I’m just happy you two have found common ground again. You should really spend a lot of time with him while you’re there. He used to look at you like you could spin straw into gold.”
“Ma…that’s Rumpelstiltskin. No one looks at anyone like they’re Rumpelstiltskin, especially if they like them—that’s just worrisome. It’s even more concerning that you would connect that with something romantic,” I added beneath my breath.
“You know what I mean.”
“If you mean he looked at me like I hung the moon, then yeah, I do know what you mean, although I disagree. I don’t ever recall him looking at me that way.”
“Jelly, it’s a physical impossibility to hang the moon.”
“Yet, it’s somehow totally plausible to spin straw into gold? As entertaining as this visit has been, I think it’s about time I head out. But plan on an extra setting for dinner on Sunday. I’ve heard all about your weekly meals and how everyone attends.”
“Oh, absolutely! I’m so happy to have my baby back. Now I will finally have all my children around the same table again.” Her eyes glistened with happy tears seconds before she wrapped me up in one of her emotional hugs. To be honest, I’d missed this—the raw form of unconditional love. When it came to my mom, there was no way to misinterpret it. She wore her heart on her sleeve with pride, and there wasn’t a single person who didn’t know beyond the shadow of a doubt how much she loved her kids. All of us, including the late additions and strays.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
Holden stood in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open, his head stuck inside. “Did you not make anything to eat for dinner?” he called out without even bothering to turn his head to the side.
Luckily for him, I was in the hallway behind him. “No. I ate leftovers from lunch. I wasn’t sure what time you were going to get home.” Granted, even if I had known what time he’d be home, I still wouldn’t have made dinner.
I finished putting in my gold hoop earrings just as he straightened and found me next to him. “What are you all dressed up for?”
“I ran into some friends from high school, and they invited me out tonight. It sounded like fun so I figured…why not?”
Something flashed in his eyes and it immediately set loose a flurry of uneasiness in my stomach. “Great, give me a few minutes to change my clothes and we can go.”
My stomach flipped with excitement—and that’s when I knew I’d never survive it if he came along with me. I had to remain strong. Even though it seemed innocent enough, I knew it never would be. Spending time with Holden would only give him another chance to break my heart, and I couldn’t afford that. I’d loved him once before, and he never returned the sentiment. Doing it a second time would be foolish.
“Uh, Holden…I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but they invited me. Not us. Not to mention, we’re not a couple. This definitely wasn’t part of the agreement.” It’d been three days since I’d officially moved in. I didn’t see him the entire first day, saw him briefly after he came home from work on the second day, and assumed today would’ve been the same routine. Although Holden wouldn’t be Holden if he didn’t throw a monkey wrench into my plans.
For a split second, he looked almost pissed off, but it disappeared just as fast as it came on. “You may have told your family and friends that we’re just roommates and I’m this good guy who’s helping you get on your feet after college, except that’s not the deal we made. You’re my wife.”
“Yeah, yeah…I remember that part. You don’t have to remind me all the time. But there’s nothing on our printed agreement that mentions tagging along with me and my friends. And stop calling me your wife—it’s a technicality.”
“It’s a legality. Regardless of that, what makes you think I’d be okay sitting at home by myself on a Friday night while you go out with a group of people? How does that make any sense?”
Rather than argue, I kicked off my shoes and carried them back to my room, Holden following close behind. He stood in the hall, gripping the frame and leaning his chest forward as if the doorway was responsible for holding him back.
“I don’t want a roommate, Janelle.”
“Well, I don’t want a husband, Holden.” I spat his name like it tasted foul and bitter. “You never said I couldn’t go out with friends. It’s not a date, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
His posture melted before my eyes, and instead of the lion stalking his prey, the man before me resembled more of a beaten-down housecat. His eyes, dark and almost all slate-grey with hardly any noticeable green to them, lost the spark of fight they held a moment ago. And his normally adorable chiseled cheeks just looked pathetic. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I brought this up. I guess I hoped we could rebuild our friendship, but it seems you put more effort into marrying a total stranger for money than you do dealing with the husband you’ve already got.”
He almost had me. Had he not completed his thought, I might’ve been putty in his hands. However, he just had to throw the fact he was my husband in my face like I had anything to do with it—well, more so than the obvious. “You’re such a jackass. You know that? I’ve already told you I have no interest in this marriage. Rebuilding a relationship with you? Sure. You got it. You want us to be friends again like we used to be? Then maybe you should start treating me like you used to—you know, like a friend, not a prisoner, not someone you’re forcing to be your wife. This is going to be one long half a year if this is how you plan on treating me.”
“No one’s making you a prisoner. You can go out. I just want to go, too.”
“With you as my babysitter? No thank you. I’d rather stay in.”
A shadow deepened at the corners of his smile, just enough to bring attention to the humor he found in this situation. “Then that means you’re the prison guard. Not me. But now that we’re staying in, let me get changed out of these clothes, and I’ll meet you on the couch.”