I Do(n't)

She shrugged. “Longer than normal. Do you mind?”

With an exaggerated huff, I said, “Fine. Come on. But you aren’t allowed to say anything to Janelle. Do you understand? Nothing.”

“Don’t you think that’d be awkward if she tries to talk to me and I just ignore her? I may look like a bitch, Holden, but I’m not one.”

“I beg to differ. I’ve heard you answer the office phone before. Anyway…obviously you can talk to her, but don’t throw me under the bus. Got it? I sign your paychecks, and if you want to afford those heels and have a reason to sleep in your own bed anytime soon, I highly suggest you play nice.”

Her feigned shock made me laugh, which died on my lips as soon as we stepped inside. Janelle stood in the middle of the living room, as though she’d just gotten off the couch, and it made me wonder if she had tried to peek out the window to watch me.

“Janelle, this is Veronica. Veronica, this is Matt’s little sister, Janelle.” I didn’t miss the way Janelle flinched when I introduced her, probably a reaction to my calling her someone’s little sister. But before I could get any other words out to explain who Veronica was, Janelle’s claws came out.

“UPS never came. I called them, thinking they might’ve delivered it to the wrong address, but they informed me there was no package to be delivered today. They didn’t have your address on the route—or your name. Please, Holden…for the love of all things holy, tell me you didn’t make me stay home alone today to teach me a lesson. Tell me there was some mix up with your order.”

Hurt burned in her stare and lit the anger coiling in her posture. This was when I had planned to admit that there was never a delivery. But as I glanced around the room and noticed how clean it was, smelled the presence of cleaning products in the air, I knew I couldn’t do that to her.

“Oh, yeah. I’m really sorry about that. Turns out I had the wrong dates. I totally got my days mixed up. It’ll be here later this week. I’m really sor—” My apology died on my tongue when my sight swung around the room and landed on the flat screen mounted on the wall. “What happened to the TV stand I had?”

“I put it in the other room. I figured now that you have furniture in there, it’d be nice to sit and watch a movie when you’re in here using this one.”

“What TV did you put in there?” I asked while peering around the corner to the hall, as if I could see through walls and answer my own question.

“The one I brought with me. You don’t have cable jacks back in those rooms so there was no use in having it in there with me. Plus, you made it very clear that this is your house and you don’t want me making any permanent changes.”

“I don’t have a cable jack in the formal room, either.”

“No, but I hooked up my DVD player so we can watch movies, and when it’s connected to Wi-Fi, we can get Netflix.”

Fiery anger bubbled up in my chest, and I had to steady my breathing before I lost my control. “Then why couldn’t you just keep it in your room and use it the same way?”

“Because then you wouldn’t be able to use it, silly.” She smacked my arm and shook her head in humor. But she didn’t fool me. I knew this was an act. And it took everything in me to not call her out on it in front of Veronica.

Ignoring the issue regarding permanent changes and the holes in my wall where the flat screen now hung, I moved on to a more important question. “How did you mount that? Did you leave the house to get the brackets from the store?”

“No. I called Connor.” Just the sound of his name made me want to crawl out of my skin. “I told him what kind it was and he picked up the recommended hardware.”

“So he was here? While I was gone?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I couldn’t hang that thing on my own. It’s like fifty inches.”

I wanted to yell. I wanted to fight. I no longer cared about hurting her, because I couldn’t remember a time I had felt more pain than I did right now. She’d invited him into my home while I was gone. I couldn’t even say his name—not even to myself. The thought of them being together, alone, right here, made me sick. It made me seethe. It made me feel like I had lost my mind.

“You told me this morning that this is my house now, too. And I could invite people over without asking you first. I didn’t think you’d mind. You don’t mind…do you, Holden?”

Veronica must’ve sensed how close to the edge of sanity I was, because she didn’t give me a chance to respond. She put her hand in mine and said, “Come on, baby. Let’s get you showered. You still smell like sunscreen.” Then, she turned her nausea-inducing, sweet voice to Janelle. “It was really nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you, and it’s about time I finally get to put a face with the name.”

It wasn’t until we made it into my room with the door closed behind us that I managed to snap out of the rage-filled trance. It was like the last sixty seconds had been on pause until I walked away from Janelle, and now, standing in my room with Veronica, my brain hit play and I realized what she had done.

“I could fucking kiss you right now, Ronnie.”

Her lips curled in disgust and she took a step back. “Please don’t. That’s repulsive.”

“Whatever. We both know you used to dig dicks.”

She waved me off over her shoulder and sashayed into my bathroom, where she started the shower for me. Her heels clicked on the tile on the way back out. But before she said anything else, she grabbed the remote off the nightstand and turned on the television, cranking the volume up loud enough to keep Janelle from overhearing.

“Just to be clear, I’ve never found any interest in a dick.”

I stumbled on my words for a moment, trying to figure out the right way to ask my question without sounding like a complete moron. “Never? Like…not even when you were younger before you knew you liked vagina?”

She snickered while moving through my room, obviously comfortable in my space with as many times as she’d been here. “Holden…how do I put this? Let’s see…I’ve always known I liked vagina. Well, wait. I always knew I liked girls. The sexual side of that came later with hormones.”

“But you’re so…feminine.” I stepped back to appreciate her womanly figure dressed in tight jeans, her tank top hugging her curves, and her ample breasts practically spilling out of the deep V neckline. Her long, dark hair made her olive tone seem lighter, almost creamier. Without her admitting she liked women, or seeing her with her other half, no one would’ve ever been able to guess her sexuality.

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