I Do(n't)

“Oh, gee…I don’t know, Holden. Maybe to get me to agree to your stupid deal?”

I set my hands on my hips and cocked my head, fighting back the argument I so desperately wanted to have with her. “You seriously think I would make up shit about your family to get you to live with me? You think I’m that hard up, Janelle? If I were that lonely, I could choose from a long line of women, most of whom would gladly move in.”

“And here I thought you’ve spent the last five years pining for me.” Her mock puppy-dog eyes grated on my last nerve, but she didn’t stop there. “I figured you’d be waiting for me to graduate from college and come back to you. I mean, that’s what you said earlier, right?”

“Yes, that’s what I said because that’s what the deal was. I knew it didn’t matter, though. You were drunk when we planned it and you don’t remember anything, so clearly, I wasn’t sitting around pining for you, Janelle. That was never part of the deal. I guess it was more of an unspoken understanding that our lives would go on while you went to school, but that night, we decided to go ahead and get married anyway.”

“That makes no sense. Why the hell would we get married and both be okay with each other fucking other people for five years? Not to mention, what would’ve happened if I got pregnant or you knocked someone up? Or one of us actually fell in love with someone else? Did either of us think of the possibility of any of that happening?” She practically screamed her questions, each one getting louder than the last.

I hung my head and dug my thumbs into my temples, hoping to ease the ache started by her voice, and immediately doubted my decision to have her stay here. “First of all, let’s take into account that we were both drinking that night. I think it’s a safe bet to assume neither of our logic was sound. We decided to get married for fuck’s sake. Which is pretty much the most illogical thing I’ve ever done. So, let’s go ahead and give up on wondering why we would say ‘I do’ and then turn a blind eye to either of us having sex with other people while you were gone. Maybe we thought we’d be able to carry on a long-distance relationship. Who the hell knows. But taking all that into account, I think you can see why the other questions were never brought up.”

“I’m so confused.” She threaded her fingers into her hair and then fisted her hands, gripping the strands by the roots in pure frustration. “We planned on being together? That’s what we discussed? Both of us?”

I took a moment before answering, knowing my response would give so much away, but I no longer cared. All these feelings were buried so long ago, and after her prolonged absence, I knew they’d never be uncovered. Nothing could dig them up.

“Yes. I told you that night, but since you don’t remember, I might as well explain it now. After that asshat broke up with you before prom, and we started spending more time together, I began to fall for you in ways I never expected. Ways I’m infinitely sure would have had your brother kicking my ass. But you needed me, and I very much enjoyed the feeling of being needed. We kinda grew a bond over those months, and as we stood along the strip, watching the fountain dance in front of the Bellagio, we realized it was a mutual attraction. One we thought would last forever. So, we decided to make it official, and at that time, the only obstacle in our way was college. Which is why we made the deal to begin with.”

Her posture softened, and I wondered what part had gotten to her. “Did we like…say the L word?”

“No.” I smiled and shook my head, hoping to ease her fears.

Only problem was, that had been a lie. We did use that word—several times in fact. She’d even screamed it one of the four times in bed. But that wasn’t something I wanted to throw in her face, no matter how much I wanted to get back at her. Truth be told, I didn’t even know why I was so angry with her in the first place other than her refusal to visit her family.

“If you choose to take me up on my offer and stay, you’ll have your own room, your own space. My agreement doesn’t include sex—I have no problems getting that when I need it. I just ask that you participate in things. That you spend time with your parents and siblings. Hang out with your nieces and nephew. Don’t worry about this.” I waved my hand between us. “I work all the time, so it’s not like you’ll even see me often. The six months will go by, and before you know it, you’ll be a single woman, free to marry whoever you want for any reason you’d like. And hopefully, you’ll have a stronger relationship with your family.”

“And I have your word on that?”

“Absolutely. A thousand percent.”

“And no sex?”

“None.” I cleared my throat and amended my answer. “With each other.”

She nodded and licked her lips, her gaze falling from mine. I knew I had her, but I needed to hear her say it. She had to tell me she would live with me, as my pseudo-wife, for the full amount of time I requested. “Okay, but we’ll need rules before I agree to anything.”

“Of course.” I held my hand out in a gesture for her to take a seat on the couch while I once again reclaimed my spot in the recliner. After pulling out my laptop from beneath the coffee table, I opened the lid and began to type. “All right… Over the course of the next six months, you—Janelle Brewer—will live in my house as my wife. During this time, there will be no expectations for sexual favors between either of us. What else?”

“Maybe you should add in there that you won’t bring your ‘dates’ home with you. You have to see how awkward it would be to sit in my room while you have a woman in your bed. Or how odd it’d be to introduce your piece of ass to your wife after you get done screwing.” She held my gaze the entire time she taunted me, all while a grin remained on her face.

“Well, I obviously wouldn’t want to make anything uncomfortable for you. I’ll include that I won’t bring anyone here, and the same goes for you.” I nodded at her before adding her request to the Word document I’d opened, aptly titled The Marriage Agreement. I glanced back up at her and winked. “You’ll also be pleased to know I’ve put in here that I will not flaunt or brag about my escapades, such as shooting you a text telling you I’m about to get my dick sucked.”

“Oh, how nice of you.” She may have said it with a smile, but I hadn’t seen anything faker since my last date’s set of tits. She crossed her arms and gave me a pointed stare. “Okay then. Next rule. Bills. I don’t currently have a job, and you’re stifling my ability to make money. So unfortunately, I won’t be able to contribute financially.”

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