He placed his hand on the side of my face, using his thumb to caress my cheek, as he had done so many times before. I could smell the lingering scent of cigarettes that I had come to love over all these years.
I got lost in his eyes, in his gaze, in the way he was looking at me. Devouring me with his stare as if it were the first time he ever laid eyes on me. With the same depth he showed when I was dancing in Miami six years ago. It was the look that melted my heart and made me weak in the knees. The same look that brought my walls crumbling down.
“I’m so sorry, Daisy.”
“Austin—” He placed his finger on my lips, silencing me.
“I know I keep apologizing to you time and time again. I know I may sound like a broken fuckin’ record at this point. But I swear to you on our love, on the love that I have for you so deep within my bones, that I’ve always, always meant it. That it’s always been true.”
My lips parted, trying to steady the beating of my heart that I swear he could hear.
“I don’t know what happened, baby. I wish I had a better reason for you. A better explanation after all this time, after everything you’ve been going through. What I’ve put you through. I’ll never forgive myself for that. I’ve been racking my brain the entire day trying to figure it out.”
He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. His emotions.
“I got lost. I got so fucking lost with the lifestyle. The drugs. The parties. I don’t know how I lost my way. It just took over. It was almost as if I was an outsider looking in. Every time I told myself I’m not going to get fucked up tomorrow, I’m not going to give in, I was doing the drugs before I even realized it was already the next day. It took control.”
“I know,” I breathed out.
He shut his eyes, the pain of my words too much for him to hear.
“It’s why I didn’t want you to take over in the first place. I’ve seen what happens, I’ve seen it my entire life. Men come and go in this business, some are lucky enough to walk out the door.”
He opened his eyes when he realized what I implied.
“I thought I lost you, Austin. I thought you weren’t going to come back to me. That the drugs, money, and power replaced what we had. I thought everything we shared was—”
“Shhh…” he whispered against my lips, gripping the sides of my face tight.
I leaned into the warmth that I’d missed so damn much.
“That won’t ever happen. I promise you that I won’t ever, ever make you feel that way again. I will never let you feel alone again. Nothing can take me away from you. I swear to you. You’re my home, Daisy. You’ve always been my home, my heart, and my soul. I didn’t start living until I met you. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
I took in every last emotion he was giving me. Letting his words that I so desperately wanted to be true, take over.
He kissed me, lightly beckoning my lips to open for him. They did.
Feeling him.
Loving him.
Needing him.
“Everything is going to be different from now on. I promise, baby. We can go. We have more than enough money. Let’s escape this life, escape the sadness that this life has brought on. Make new memories. We can start our life together. The one you’ve always wanted and the one I’ve never stopped wanting to give you.”
Tears streamed down my face. I wanted to believe everything he was saying.
No more lies.
“What? You mean it? We can go? We can start over? Somewhere else… somewhere far away from here?” I asked, question after question not knowing which one I wanted answered the most.
“I’ll go wherever you want. As long as we’re together, that’s all that’s ever mattered to me,” he rasped in between kissing me.
He rested his forehead on top of mine. Never breaking our connection.
Our love.
He looked deep into my eyes with more sincerity than I had ever seen before, like his soul was staring back at me.
“Marry me.”
I tried to jerk back, but he held me in place by his grasp.
“What? What did you just say?”
He rubbed his nose back and forth over mine and spoke with conviction, “Marry me, Daisy.”
I released the breath I didn’t realize I held, my hesitation bringing me back.
“Are you serious? Are you being serious right now?” I wept, my tears covering his hands.
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in all of my life. I love you more then anything on this earth. Marry me.”
I wanted to say yes so fucking badly… but so much had happened between us.
He smiled, kissing me all over my face, wiping my tears with his lips. Taking away all the pain that had lived inside them for so many years. He stopped and my body slowly slid down his until my feet touched the floor.
“You’re my girl. You’ll always be my fucking girl,” he stated with his own voice breaking.
He kissed me passionately, our tongues taking what the other needed. His grasp still tightly placed on the sides of my face. We kissed one last time, long and true before he pulled back to look deep into my eyes again and said,
“You’re going to be the best mommy to our baby, Briggs.”
My. Heart. Broke.
Again.
Chapter 28
<>Austin<>