“Great idea,” Avery says, reaching behind Turic to slap his ass. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Straykeer scoops me up and throws me over his shoulder and the six of us run away in the opposite direction of the battle. Turic carries Avery, but Rolanda, proud as ever, runs alongside Pontuck. She would probably punch him in the jaw if he tried to pick her up.
“Wait for Tom, breeding aged earthling females,” Tin Tom says, blinking his lights as he rolls after us.
It’s immature but I give him the finger as he tries to keep up.
***
“This is better,” Avery says as Turic places her on the soft pink grass. We’re sitting by a beautiful waterfall that’s cascading down into a turquoise lagoon. The gentle roar of the waterfall drowns out any sounds of the battle in the far distance and the peaceful beauty of the surrounding area feels very strange when I know that there’s a vicious war going on nearby.
“Would my Avery like a foot massage?” Turic asks, kneeling in front of her.
She looks up at me and Rolanda as she bites her bottom lip. I shake my head and sigh. I can tell that she really wants to say yes even though it would be really inappropriate.
“Maybe later,” she says, with a heavy sigh.
Even our fearless leader has to make sacrifices during war.
“I hope they’re okay,” Rolanda says, pacing with her bow in her hands. “We should go back and help them. I don’t feel right just sitting here.”
“The Drandroka are all fierce and mighty warriors,” Pontuck says, trying to calm her down. “They are filled with fun and amusement right now. This is what we were born to do.”
“Still,” Rolanda says, pacing around. “I should go help out.”
Everyone turns in the direction that we came as Tin Tom comes rolling up. “Do not worry, earthling women,” he says, blinking like a broken microwave. “Tom has arrived.”
Rolanda rolls her eyes as she continues her pacing. “You’re the reason why we’re in this mess in the first place,” she says, her voice thick with anger.
“Tom was just trying to help you get laid and impregnated,” the annoying robot says. “You would be lucky to bear the children of the beloved Emperor Rsordan.”
“There’s nothing lucky about getting your head cut off by a disgusting giant insect,” I say, shivering at the thought of the video with those poor abducted women who were chained to Emperor Rsordan.
Tin Tom just blinks. “Tom will never understand you earthling women.”
“It’s easy to understand,” I say, stepping in close to Straykeer. “We crave love and affection, a real partner to grow old with, not someone who will stuff their babies in us and chop off our heads.”
“Love?” Tin Tom says, his lights blinking in confusion.
“Yes, love,” Rolanda hisses at him. “It’s something that takes place in here,” she says, tapping her chest. “You wouldn’t understand. You’re full of wires and metal. You need a heart to feel love.”
Tin Tom turns from Rolanda to Avery, watching how their mates are watching over them, comforting them in this stressful time. The lights on his metallic casing start blinking faster and faster which they always seem to do when he’s learning something new.
“Tom understands,” he says confidently. “The reproductive biological hormones present in your human species tricks your brain into a chemical reaction to bond with your mate, thereby attaching the human to its breeder and giving the offspring a higher likelihood of survival. It all makes sense! Your feeble human brains interpret this chemical reaction as something you call love.”
“Exactly,” Avery says with a roll of her eyes. “See guys? He gets it.”
Pontuck springs forward and yanks an arrow out of his quiver so fast that it makes my head spin. It’s on his bow and pointing into the sky behind me.
No.
Turic and Straykeer rush beside him, drawing their weapons and staring up with their no-fucking-around faces on.
My head is pounding as I slowly turn around, my body seizing with fear.
The largest of the alien’s ships is in the sky, floating over the field in front of us. I recognize it as the ship that Emperor Rsordan was in.
Rolanda walks up to the boys, standing beside them with an arrow cocked in her bow. I hurry over to Avery and hug her while she stares up at the ship with wide, terrified eyes. She’s no longer just worried about herself now. She’s got Turic to worry about as well as the baby growing inside her belly.
“Are we going to be okay?” she asks with a gulp. The confident leader of the blueberry warriors is gone and my hopeless friend Avery is back.
I just hug her and kiss her temple. “I hope so.”
The spaceship lands on extended legs and the door slides open.
Turic squeezes the bone dagger in his hand, Pontuck and Rolanda both pull back the string on their bows, pointing the arrows at the empty opening of the ship, and my Straykeer holds up his swords, getting ready for action.