“Pretty fucking hot,” I say and we both burst out laughing. Fuck, I missed her.
“I have to sit down,” Avery says, waddling to the sofa like an overweight penguin. She plops down on it with a grunt and the couch that’s made of sticks and animal skin pillows creaks and groans under her.
“Turic,” she says with a sweet smile. “Would you be a doll and pour my friends some wine and then give us some alone time?”
He nods and then hurries over to the little kitchen area where he gets busy pouring some wine into cute little ceramic glasses.
Avery leans in close. “These guys are the best,” she whispers. “They love to spoil us.”
I chuckle as Turic walks over and hands me a glass. Rolanda is still standing by the door, looking awkward like she’s intruding.
“I’ll just wait outside,” she says, pointing at the door. “You guys are best friends. I’ll let you have some time to catch up.”
“Rolanda,” Avery says in a stern voice. “Get your hot little buns over here and sit down. Don’t make me go all Saku on your fine ass. We’re all best friends now, got it?”
“Okay,” she says, skipping over. She snatches the other wine glass out of Turic’s hand as she sits down on the other side of Avery.
Turic smiles warmly at my best friend before he silently leaves the room.
My mind is still blown. I take a sip of the harsh wine as I look around. It’s a nice room, hollowed out of the hill with clay walls, comfy furniture, a little cooking area, and lots of colorful flowers in vases all over the room.
“Look at her face,” Avery says with a grin. “She’s still in shock.”
Rolanda laughs. “That’s how I must have looked when I first arrived.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” I say, swallowing hard. “I’ve been crapping my pants in fear every day while you two are living the life with wine and sexy blue man servants.”
“Where were you?” Avery asks. I hurry through the story of the past few weeks, staying in the spaceship, the aliens coming, and then Straykeer coming to my rescue.
Rolanda sits up straight at the mention of the aliens. “There are more of them?” she asks, lowering her wine.
“Aliens?” Avery says, looking confused.
In all of the excitement, I forgot that she doesn’t know.
“We just took down a spaceship outside,” Rolanda says. “We killed all of the aliens inside but I thought that was it. There are more?”
I nod. “There were tons,” I say. “Straykeer killed the majority of them. I took down a ship too and killed about ten of them.”
Both Rolanda and Avery look super impressed as they watch me. I leave out the part about me tripping balls while doing it.
“Are they looking for us?” Avery asks, her face turning pale.
I nod slowly. “Emperor Rsordan is here. I saw him.”
The two girls give each other a nervous glance. This isn’t good.
“It’s going to be okay,” Rolanda says confidently. “The last time he caught us in the movie theater when we weren’t expecting it. We have weapons now, we’re ready, and we have an army of smurfs that will die for us.”
“I don’t want anyone dying for us,” I say with my pulse racing. My chest hurts just thinking about what it would be like if Straykeer got hurt, or worse.
“Don’t worry, Mandy,” Rolanda says. “We have the mythical, God-like Saku on our side. Destroyer of dinosaurs, slayer of monsters, spiller of wine.”
“Shut up,” Avery says with a giggle.
They explain to me how the whole tribe thinks that Avery is the Saku, the chosen one from the prophecy who has come to destroy all of the dinosaurs and evil creatures of Zandipor. My stomach hurts from laughing so much when she tells me it’s all because of the ugly tattoo on her lower back. I had begged her not to get it but the whiskey that had been flowing through her veins was more persuasive than I had been. I guess it paid off now.
“I can see them thinking that Rolanda is the Saku,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “But you, Avery? I wonder what they would think if I told them that you puked all over your prom dress, or that you like to blow your nose on the sleeves of your sweater, or-”
“Alright,” Avery says with a playful frown. “We get it.”
“What about the time that you got drunk and ate a burrito off of the sidewalk?” I say, chuckling.
“Which time?” Avery said with a grin. “You have to be more specific with that one.”
A beeping sound interrupts us and I whip my head around to the door as Tin Tom rolls in. “Good daytime to you, breeding aged earthling female,” Tin Tom says in his scratchy voice.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss at him. “Your friends keep trying to abduct me again.”
“Yes,” he says, blinking proudly. “How unfortunate that they have not. It would be most beneficial and lovely to be the love slave of Emperor Rsordan.”
Rolanda yanks a bone knife out of her furry boot so fast that it looks like a blur. “Say that one more fucking time,” she says with a growl.