Where I Belong

He chews up his bite and takes another one. “Can we go swinnin today, Daddy? I wanna show Pwincess Mia how I can jump in da pool.” Apparently, Nolan is finished discussing anything involving kissing. My answer was either sufficient enough to satisfy his curiosity, or he is a three-year-old boy who has his priorities straight. He pops the last bit of cupcake into his mouth and reaches his finger toward Ben, running it down his nose.

Ben smiles and does the same back. “Yeah we can go swimming. But I need to take you back to Mommy’s house before dinner.”

Nolan sits up with a protesting grunt and pounds his tiny fist into Ben’s chest. “No, Daddy. I wanna stay here wiff you and Pwincess Mia.” I haven’t seen Nolan display any emotion besides pure joy, but right now, he is definitely not a happy kid.

“Don’t hit me, Nolan.” Ben’s gentle voice he always uses with him is gone and replaced with a stern fatherly tone. Even I cower a bit at it. He grabs Nolan’s fist. “If you throw a fit like that again, you aren’t going swimming. Do you understand?” Nolan nods, his face falling as if Ben had just told him that dragons don’t exist.

I reach over and run my finger down his nose. He perks up and does the same to me. “No sad faces allowed. Why don’t you go grab me and Daddy a cupcake?” He grins and scrambles off the bed, the quick tapping of his feet tapering off in the distance. “Your son just totally cock blocked you. Are you going to be okay down there?” I quickly slide off the bed, brushing over the front of his boxers.

“Not if you keep doing that I won’t be,” he warns. His hand grabs mine and he pulls the two fingers that I’d been using moments ago into his mouth, sucking on them as I stare with fascination. That has to be one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. I think there are two types of guys. Guys that pretend they’re into eating p-ssy just to please the girl they’re with, and guys that crave it like it’s their favorite food on the menu. Ben is definitely the latter. He slips out of the bedroom with a cocky grin and returns moments later in his swimsuit.

I dress as fast as I can, hearing Nolan’s feet and animated voice coming down the hallway. I have just secured my bikini top, batting away Ben’s naughty fingers, when he comes in carrying two bright green frosted cupcakes. “Pwincess Mia! I can jump into the pool without my fwotties!” He practically throws our cupcakes at us, his excitement uncontainable. “I’m gonna go get my bavin suit!”

“Wait a minute, buddy. It’s hanging up in the bathroom,” Ben yells after him. He turns to me and leans in, kissing my icing covered lips. “I should eat my cupcake off you.” He licks his lips, only pulling back an inch. “My girl would look good covered in icing.”

“I want to be covered in your icing,” I tease.

His jaw twitches, along with another body part I’m sure. He growls into my hair, smacking me on my ass before he goes off after Nolan.

I pick my phone up off the floor, laughing softly at the image of it getting flung off the bed in the heat of passion last night. I want to check in on my mom before I spend the day in the pool with my two favorite boys. She answers after the second ring.

“Hello?” She coughs before clearing her throat, the muffled sound coming through the phone.

I sit down on the edge of the bed, my entire body tensing up. “Mom, are you okay?” She can’t be sick, not now. Not when things are just starting to fall into place for me. God, that sounds awful. How selfish is my thinking right now?

She sniffs a few times, clearing her throat once again before replying. “Oh, I’m fine, sweetheart. It’s just a little cold.” Cough. Cough.

A little cold to my mom in her condition isn’t something to take lightly. I am suddenly feeling panicky. “How long have you had it? Do you have a fever? How’s your appetite?”

“Sweetheart, please relax. I’m fine, really. My nose started running yesterday and now I have this little tickle in my throat. That’s all. No fever. No nausea.”

“So you’re eating?” It’s very important for my mom to be able to keep her food down. She had lost so much weight when she started her treatments and we had finally gotten it back up to a healthy number a few months ago. I never want to see my mom that thin again.

“Yes, yes I’m eating. Soup mainly, but that’s good for a cold, which is what this is, Mia. I don’t want you worrying yourself to death over this. Your aunt has everything under control.”

“I can’t help it that I worry, Mom. You know that.”

She sighs, clearing her throat again. “Yes, I know. But I’m still the parent here, and if I say that I don’t want you to worry, then you need to listen to me. Now tell me, is the weather as miserable there as it is here? It’s so hot outside right now that you can’t even breathe. And don’t get me started on the damn sand fleas.”

Sand fleas. I don’t miss those. They are everywhere in Georgia when the weather gets hot. These tiny little nats that will bite you and make your life miserable. “It is really hot, but you know I’ve always loved Alabama summers. The air is just better here or something, I don’t know. I’m getting ready to get in the pool now.”

She sniffs again. “Oh, well, why are you wasting your time talking to me? Go have fun, sweetheart.”

“I’m not wasting my time. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m doing great besides this tiny little cold. So please go swim some laps for me. Maybe by next summer we’ll be able to go to the pool on base together like we used to.”

I stand up and smile. “Absolutely. You’ll be so strong by then, Mom. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

She will be stronger by next summer. I can’t wait to see my mom doing everything she used to do. But with that joy comes the heart wrenching sadness of realizing that I’ll be with her in Georgia and not here with Ben. Life can be a total bitch sometimes. No, f*ck that. I’m not going to let anything ruin my day or the rest of my time here. After brushing my teeth and pulling my hair up into a bun, I walk outside to the pool.

“Pwincess Mia! Watch dis!” Nolan is standing on the edge at the deep end while Ben stands a few feet in front of him in the water. I walk around and watch him with excitement. He squats down ever so slightly before jumping off the side and splashing into the water. He goes under and pops back up after a few seconds, prompting Ben to grab him.

I clap for him and sit down on the edge. “That was awesome. You’re such a big boy doing that without floaties. I don’t even know if I’m brave enough to do that.”

Ben moves closer to me in the water, holding Nolan out in front of him so he can splash around. He turns his body, putting himself between me and Nolan. His eyes do that shift from sweet to mischievous that he seems to do better than anyone as he rakes over my body. “You better hurry up and put that body of yours under the water before I do very inappropriate things to you in front of my son.” I give him a disapproving smirk. He wouldn’t dare. He leans in and nips at my bottom lip, sending a chill up my back in the sweltering heat. “I’m completely serious,” he warns with a smolder that I feel in places he is only familiar with.

“Well I’d hate to see you put those handcuffs to use if I choose to disobey orders, Officer Kelly.” I shoot him a teasing look as I slide into the water. It’s warm but still cools my body off instantly.