Where I Belong

“I usually am. But what exactly are you referring to?”

I sigh, pausing for dramatic effect. She bumps her knee against mine, indicating that she isn’t having my stalling tactics today. “I love him.” I actually feel my heart swell inside my chest when I admit it out loud. The butterflies that only Ben can evoke inside my stomach begin fluttering about in there. I feel my love for him streaming through me as if it runs through my veins. And I know without a doubt that I’ll love him fiercely and forever.

Her hand squeezes my knee. “Of course you do. And he loves you. It’s ridiculously obvious, and annoying now that I’m single.” She yawns at the end of her observation, prompting me to do the same at the sound of hers.

I want to believe Tessa. I want to believe what my own heart is telling me. But I’ll never be sure until he speaks those words to me himself. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t love him, but for completely different reasons than I’ve ever had before. I know how hard it’s going to be to leave him when I have to go back to Georgia. And leaving my heart here isn’t going to make it any easier. Maybe that’s why Ben hasn’t said those words to me, if he even feels them at all. Maybe he’s being sensible and keeping his heart out of this. But I want him to jump off that cliff after me. I want him to feel that rush and risk the pain because I’m willing to.

I’d risk it all.

**

“You know you’re best friends with someone when you’re willing to handcuff them, while they’re practically naked, and help them get ready for a sex fest with your brother,” Tessa says through a smile that I hear rather than see. I can’t see much of anything in the position I am currently in besides the headboard and the comforter. She fastens the handcuffs to my wrists, securing my arms behind my back. “This is nuts considering we don’t have a key for these. How f*cked up would it be if he got held up at work and you had to stay like this for hours? Or days?”

Shit. I hadn’t thought about that. God, that would be awful. Not to mention embarrassing. I’m not sure how I’d manage to go to the bathroom like this. I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of the sliding glass door opening.

“Showtime,” Tessa says. “I’ll be heading out for a few hours. Try not to kill him.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. My entire body is buzzing with anticipation as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her. I hear muffled voices in the distance, laughing to myself at the speech Tessa rehearsed with me when I asked her to help me out tonight. Mia was not acting like herself today. She seemed a bit on edge and a little hostile. I had to restrain her. And then the kicker. She’s been a bad girl, Ben. A very bad girl. I would’ve loved to have seen her face when she delivered that line. And his for that matter. The floorboards in the hallway creak with his footsteps that inch closer until finally, the door swings open.

I can’t see him, but I can hear him clearly with the one ear that is facing the ceiling. I am kneeling on the edge of the bed, my body angled down and my cheek resting on the comforter. My wrists are bound behind my back and I’m only wearing a very skimpy pair of black panties. They barely cover anything and I might as well be naked right now. And by the sound of his heavy panting, he isn’t hating this surprise.

“Dear God. A man should be warned before he walks in on you like this. I almost came at the sight of you, baby.” He moves closer and places his hand on my lower back, running it up my spine. I whimper at his touch. It’s like fire melting ice. “My dirty girl looks absolutely stunning face down. And I bet you like this, don’t you? I bet you’re dripping right now.”

“Touch me and find out.”

His hand moves lower, teasing me between my legs. “Holy f*ck,” he grunts, sliding my panties down to my knees. His fingers dip inside me, moving in a steady rhythm as I moan against his touch. His lips press against my back, licking and kissing my skin. “What do you want, angel? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

“You, Ben. I want you.”

“And you’re going to get me, sweetheart. But I want you to be specific right now. Do you want me to make you come like this?”

I groan loudly into the mattress. Jesus. His fingers are like magic. I am certain he can get me off in two seconds with them if he wants to. But I know what he wants to hear and what I want him to give me. “I want you to do whatever you want with me. Take what you need and don’t hold back. This belongs to you.”

“Yes, baby.” He removes his fingers and the sound of him sucking on them nearly pushes me over the edge. And then I hear his belt loosening and I’m reminded of one more very important thing. This needs to be said before he uses my body for his own pleasure. This is my fantasy as much as it is his.

“Leave your uniform on.”

“F*ck yes.” The sound of a zipper lowering is the last noise I hear before he enters me. We both moan together, his louder than mine, as his hands grip my forearms. “Christ, you’re perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard.”

He moves in and out of me, taking what he needs. His power during sex is immeasurable. The way his grip tightens on me, the way his hips slam against my backside. He is f*cking me with such force, such greedy need. And God, I want everything he is giving me. I want him to possess every inch of me. I am certain my body is specifically made for his pleasure and his for mine. Our sounds and his words to me ring out around us. He tells me how badly he wants me. How nothing has ever felt like this. And how he’ll never get enough. I feel everything he gives me and every word he speaks. This is what being in love feels like. Raw. Honest. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted, even in this vulnerable position. When he’s close to losing it, he presses his lips to my ear and his fingers find my *. And when he tells me to f*cking come, my body answers him immediately.

I’m panting into the comforter, trying to steady my breathing as he unfastens the handcuffs. But I know we’re not done. If I’ve learned anything from being with Ben, it’s that my insatiable hunger for him will always be met by his need for me. We’ll never be easily gratified when it comes to each other. Even after we’ve given every piece of ourselves, we’ll still want more. His hands massage my wrists, rubbing the life back into them as I turn over onto my back. My panties are finally removed and he tosses them somewhere off the bed. He pushes my one leg close to my body as he enters me, grinding his hips against mine.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he commands as his forehead beads up with sweat. He grips my other knee and pushes it against my chest, leaning his hard body into mine and stroking me deeper.

Even if I wanted to look away, which I don’t, let’s be clear about that, I doubt I’d be able to. Him f*cking me in his uniform has gone way past any expectation I could’ve conjured up. I watch his eyes and the possessive gleam in them. The fullness of his mouth and how it stays slightly parted. The tease of his tongue as it licks the corner of his lips. My eyes dart up to his hair and I want to grab it, to pull it hard and bring his mouth down to me. To steal that tongue of his and hold it captive in my mouth and between my legs.

But it’s his eyes that command the most attention from me. He doesn’t just look at me like a man who as he so eloquently put it, is starved for my p-ssy. He looks at me like a man who would do anything for it. Who would do anything for me. It’s a look that would completely throw me off balance if I wasn’t prepared for it.