Where I Belong

Luke grips the back of his neck with both hands. “God damn it. How the f*ck am I supposed to fix this if she won’t even talk to me?” He turns the laptop toward him and begins looking up the license plate information. I flip on the lights and the driver pulls over onto the shoulder, barely leaving me enough room to get behind him. That just annoys me further. “I’m not okay with being dumped without knowing what the hell I did wrong. If she doesn’t talk to me soon, I’m going to go f*cking crazy.”

I grab the bottom of the mount that holds the laptop and turn it so I can see it. “Give me the f*cking thing. Do you realize you just looked up my sister’s information in here, dick?”

Luke leans over, looking at the screen that displays every past address and speeding ticket Tessa’s ever had. He flinches before falling back into his seat. “F*ck me. I’m in deep, man.”

“No, you’re in love, a*shole.”

And when he doesn’t argue with me, I don’t feel the need to say anything more. He’ll have a hard enough time dealing with that realization himself without me fueling the fire. But I do owe it to him to at least try and get some information out of Tessa. And I silently vow to do that.

I didn’t dare mention my sister’s name again while we finished patrolling. Luke had dropped all conversation involving her after he looked to see if she had a record accidently. And I wasn’t a glutton for punishment, so my conversations with him stayed as far away from that topic as possible. I didn’t even mention Mia because I knew that would just trigger him. And not talking about Mia was more difficult than I had anticipated.

I am mentally exhausted by the end of the day. The only thing I want to do is hold Mia against me and fall asleep with her. So you can only imagine the surge of disappointment that runs through me when I arrive at my parents’ house and she isn’t there. I grab my phone and dial her number, needing to at least hear her after the day I’ve had.

“Hello?” she answers in that voice that can drop me to my knees.

I smile against my phone and sit down on the couch, aimlessly flipping through the channels. “Baby, I’m at the house and you’re not. It kind of sucks here without you.”

“Oh God, is it after six already? I’m so sorry, babe. Tessa wanted to get our hair and nails done today and I completely lost track of time.” Muffled voices come through the phone and I can tell she’s in a crowded place.

“You called me babe,” I state. She’s never called me anything besides Ben, except for some profanity that I’m sure she labeled me with when she first discovered who I was. Or multiple profanities.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I did.” She laughs softly. “Is that okay? You call me so many different nicknames and I wanted to try one out. I liked babe.”

I shift on the couch, resting my feet on the coffee table. “I like it too.” My phone beeps, indicating that I’m getting another call. “Oh, hold on a second, angel.”

“Okay, babe,” she responds, the obvious smile in her voice.

I press a button and answer the incoming call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Ben. It’s Rollins.” Phil Rollins is another officer that works in my precinct. I don’t see him or his partner much, considering that they worked nights. “Listen, man. You’re gonna need to come down to the 14th block of Canton Street. I just pulled Angie over for drunk driving and she’s got Nolan with her.”

I am on my feet and moving toward the door as soon as I hear Nolan’s name. “What? Is he okay? Rollins, f*cking tell me if he’s hurt!” My entire body tenses up and I feel my heart pounding in my head.

“He’s fine, man. I’m about to arrest Angie though. She’s way over the legal limit and she seems to be on something besides alcohol.”

That stupid cunt. I sprint to my truck, not being able to make my legs move fast enough. “Don’t arrest her until I get there. Do you hear me? I wanna see her f*cking face before you take her away.”

“Alright, just promise me you won’t be joining her in the back of my car. Keep your shit under control, Kelly. Your son needs you.”

“I’m on my way. Tell him Daddy’s coming. Don’t let him think I’m not coming for him.” I start my truck and hang the phone up, startling at the sound of it ringing again. Shit. I forgot about Mia. “Baby, Angie was just pulled over for drunk driving and Nolan is with her.” My voice cracks at the end. Something could’ve happened to my son. She could’ve killed him.

“Oh my God. Is he alright? Where are you going? I’ll meet you there. I’m leaving right now just tell me where to go.” Now it’s her voice that is quivering. I hear movement and the sound of a set of keys jingling.

I need her. Nolan will need her. I clear my voice and keep it steady. “He’s okay. He wasn’t hurt, thank God. If he was I wouldn’t be responsible for what I might do to that bitch. They’re at the 14th block of Canton Street.”

“Okay. Tessa and I are on our way. Babe, just try and stay calm, okay? Nolan’s probably really scared with all that commotion and he’s going to need you to be strong for him.”

God, I loved this woman. She knew exactly what to say to keep me composed. “Just meet me there, angel. I need you.”

The sound of a car starting comes through the phone. “I know. I’m coming.”

**

There are three cop cars at the scene and an ambulance. People are starting to gather on the street outside their homes but I don’t pay attention to any of that. The only face I see is Nolan’s as I scramble out of my truck and run up to the back door of the ambulance. He is in Rollin’s arms, getting checked out by the paramedic. As I rush up to them, Rollins takes in my terrified state.

“Just a precaution, man. He’s perfectly fine.”

I nod in relief, smiling at Nolan who finally registers my presence. My son grins at me the way he always does. “Daddy! Wook at all da powice carws!”

The paramedic gives me the go ahead to grab him, having finished with the examination. I pull him to my chest and hold him gently. “Are you okay, buddy? You aren’t hurt anywhere?” He looks completely unharmed, but I feel like I am cradling a wounded animal against me. I can hear Angie’s hysterical voice in the distance but I try to block it out. I don’t want to get angry in front of Nolan. I pull him away from me and look all over his face, his arms, and his legs. I’m scanning every inch of exposed skin for some sign of injury, but I find none. “Nolan, you don’t have any boo-boos?”

He shakes his head and looks past me over my shoulder. His face lights up. “Daddy, Pwincess Mia and Aunt Tessa arwe herwe!”

I turn my body and feel a rush of calmness run through me. Mia’s face is streaked with tears but she quickly shakes off her sadness when she sees Nolan. She is either relieved or she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Tessa, on the other hand, looks murderous. “Here, can you take him for me while I go handle this?” I hand Nolan over to Mia and he can’t seem to get into her arms fast enough. She leans into me and kisses me on my jaw before walking toward my truck, her lips pressed to Nolan’s forehead.

Tessa waits until Nolan gets several feet away before saying, “where the f*ck is that stupid bitch? She doesn’t deserve jail. She deserves to eat my fist.”