Where I Belong

“You know, I think it’s really amazing that your mom wanted to donate her body to science. She could be the reason they find a cure for that f*cking disease.” I can’t help but laugh at my aunt’s use of profanity. She never cusses around me. Her hand tucks a piece of hair behind my ear that has fallen out of my hair tie. “Are you going to stick around here for a while or are you heading back to Alabama?”

I glance down at my phone again. Still nothing. “I don’t have any reason to go back to Alabama.”

“Isn’t being in love a good enough reason?” she asks.

“Not when it’s one-sided.” I look down at my phone and squeeze it tightly, willing it to ring. “He didn’t even care about me enough to text me. You really can’t get more impersonal than a text, and that was still too much for him.” I meet my aunt’s pitiful gaze. “It’s fine. I’m used to hating Ben. It’s not very difficult. I can get my stuff mailed to me that way I don’t ever have to go back there.” The thought of never seeing Nolan again makes my stomach churn. But seeing Nolan meant seeing Ben. The Ben that doesn’t care enough.

She takes a sip of the coffee she’s been nursing for the past hour. “Why don’t you step outside and get some air. It’ll be good to get out of this stuffy atmosphere for a few minutes. Clear your head a little.”

I nod in agreement and take the elevators down to the main level, walking out of the entrance I came sprinting through several hours ago. As soon as I step onto the sidewalk, my phone starts beeping like crazy in my pocket. Startled, I pull it out and watch as the number of missed calls from Tessa’s cell phone rack up. But still nothing from Ben.

How the hell did I miss this many calls?

And then it hits me. There isn’t any cell phone reception in the hospital. I begin listening to the voicemails she left me. The first several are wondering where I am, telling me that Nolan is driving her nuts with his impatience. Then she tells me that Nolan was messing with her phone again and she noticed that he turned the volume down and that’s why she missed my call. She tells me she’ll call Ben and I can’t help the aggravation I feel at that statement. She cries in the next message, asking me to call her so she can find out what’s going on with my mom. As soon as she starts talking about Ben not answering his phone, I delete the message and go on to the next one. If she had any excuses for him, I didn’t want to hear them. He obviously didn’t love me because if you loved someone, you’d take five seconds out of your day to send them a text when their mother is dying. One f*cking word could’ve been sent to me. A simple sorry. But no. I needed him and he didn’t care. He doesn’t love me. And that realization stings my entire body with a discomfort I’ve never felt before. But just when I think my world can’t crumble anymore, I reach the last voicemail in my inbox.

“Mia, Ben’s been shot. He’s been f*cking shot. I don’t know anything except for that they’re taking him to St. Joseph’s hospital. Please call me. Please.”

I can hear the restrained panic in Tessa’s voice. I fall to the ground, my knees hitting the sidewalk and causing a shooting pain to ride up my thighs. But that’s not the pain that has me struggling to breathe. “Oh no, God. Please no.” I push myself up and begin running toward my jeep when I remember my aunt. “F*ck!” Running faster than I ever have, I take the stairs because I don’t want to wait for the elevator. My aunt is where I left her and she startles when she sees me, meeting me halfway next to the nurse’s station. I’m crying and I can barely take in any air, but I manage to speak. “Ben’s been shot. I have to go. Right now. Do I need to do something? Is there anything I need to do here? Please can I just go?” My chest is heaving from my run and my legs are burning, but I don’t care. And if I have paperwork or anything I have to do, it will have to wait.

She squeezes my hand, shaking her head with concerned eyes. “No, sweetie. Go. I’ll take care of everything. Call me when you get there.”

I run back down the stairs, nearly falling in my hurried state. Once I get outside, I dial Tessa’s number as I sprint to the jeep. It goes straight to voicemail.

“I’m on my way. Oh my God, please call me back and tell me he’s okay. Tell him I love him, Tessa. Tell him I’m going to say that to him every second for the rest of his life. He’ll never go another day without hearing those words from me.” I wipe the tears from my eyes so I can focus on the road in front of me as I whip through the parking lot. “Please don’t take him away from me,” I whimper my plea to God and to Tessa, not knowing if either one of them will hear me. If Tessa is in the hospital, she probably won’t get this message until she walks outside. And if Ben is dying, why would she leave him? I wouldn’t leave his side if I was there. The man I spent the last two hours bitterly hating was the man I loved more than anything in the world. He was my life, my family, and my future. I couldn’t lose him. I wouldn’t lose him. I’ve never believed in fate before, but I did the moment I saw Ben in that bar. He was always the one for me. We were always meant to end up together. And the two hundred miles that are separating us now will be the last thing to ever keep us apart. I’ll make damn sure of that.





Chapter Nineteen


Tessa

“I want pamcakes! I want pamcakes!” Nolan yells, jumping up and down on the sofa. “Pamcakes, pamcakes, pamcakes!”

I love my nephew, but I’m about to stick him in the dryer.

I grunt my annoyance, looking for any sign of the red jeep out the window. “Nolan, relax please. Mia should be back any minute.”

“It’s Pwincess Mia,” he corrects me, causing me to narrow my eyes at him.

I snatch my cell phone from his little grubby fingers and dial her number. It rings four times and then her voicemail greeting comes through the phone. I wait for the beep. “Oh my God. Please tell me you’re on your way back. The little monster is getting unbearable to be around. Oh and if you’re still at the store, can you pick me up some mountain dew?” I hang up and watch as Nolan rips all the pillows off the couch and jumps on them like stones in a creek. “How about some Fruit Loops to hold you over?”

He jerks his head up and connects with my eyes. “Gwoss. I hate fwuit woops. I want pamcakes.” His little menacing body flies into the air with each leap he takes. “Pwincess Mia pwomised me.”

I turn away from him and look out the sliding glass door, praying that Mia’s body will come into view any second. But it doesn’t. And my impatience begins to grow right along with Nolan’s as the time ticks by. I dial her number again.

“Hey. You do remember how to get to my parents’ house, right? Nolan’s about to start eating the furniture.”

And again.

“Which grocery store did you go to? There are some in Alabama. I’m about to start making pancakes out of cornmeal and I’m not sure how those are going to go over so you might want to speed it up a little.”

And again.

“Sweet Jesus! Would you call me and let me know that you’re still alive!”

Nolan’s voice grows louder and louder, more urgent as the minutes drag on. I silence him with my phone when I think my head is going to explode and raid the fridge myself. I don’t need to wait for pancake mix to eat breakfast. I am perfectly happy with Fruit Loops, unlike my hot meal loving nephew.