Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage

CHAPTER EIGHT


TINA TIGHTENED HER hold on Dev as he laid her down on the bed. She didn’t want to let go. She yearned for the feel of him under her hands. She skimmed her fingers down his strong back and bunched his tunic in her fist. She didn’t want anything to stand in the way of her skin touching his.

She pulled his shirt off his head, barely taking a moment to break the hungry kiss. Clinging to his strong shoulders, Tina opened her mouth wide as she drew Dev’s tongue deep inside.

Tina had missed this fierce touch. The ferocious longing. Her blood was pumping hard through her veins as Dev shoved her drawstring pants down her thighs. His large hand slipped under her tunic and he captured her breast.

Dev pushed aside her flimsy bra and she groaned with approval when he squeezed her breast hard. Her nipple tightened as it rasped against his rough hand. Tina arched her spine so she could thrust against his palm.

When he pinched her nipple, Tina began to rock her pelvis against his. Heat washed over her as a delicious ache centered in her core. She grabbed the hem of her tunic and tore it off over her head. Her bra followed.

Tina reached for Dev but he caught her wrists and held them against the mattress beside her head. His hips pinned hers but she didn’t feel trapped. The dark excitement pulsed through her body as Dev bent his head and took the tip of her breast in his mouth.

Tina tilted her head back and moaned as the fire crackled inside her. She curled her fingers into fists as the edge of his teeth scraped her nipple. Rocking her hips, Tina urged for more. She wanted it harder. Faster. She wanted it all and she wanted it right now.

When Dev let go of her wrists to cup her breasts, Tina reached for him and dug her fingers into his hair. She wanted to guide Dev but he already knew what she craved.

He drew his hands down her body, his touch untamed and possessive. He grabbed the hem of her panties and stripped them off. Dev drew back into a kneeling position and pushed her legs wider apart.

She stared at Dev as her raspy, choppy breaths filled the air. Her heart lurched when she caught his primal expression. For a moment she felt vulnerable as he rubbed his fingers along the folds of her sex. A wicked smile slashed through his harsh features when he discovered she was ready for him.

Dev’s gaze clashed with hers. Slowly his eyes narrowed and she looked away. She wasn’t sure what had displeased him. Did he see her uncertainty? Feel her hesitation? She parted her lips to say something—anything—just to break the tension that coiled around them. But Dev grabbed her hips and turned her over.

Tina gasped when she was suddenly on her hands and knees facing away from Dev. His fingers tightened against her hips as she felt his tip pressing against her. Dev entered her with one long thrust. Tina shuddered as her slick flesh held him tight, drawing him deeper, as she rocked against him.

Dev’s guttural groan echoed in the room as he began a fast and furious rhythm. Tina matched him stroke for stroke, determined to capture the wildness that he sparked inside her. His hands were everywhere, caressing her breast, sliding along the curve of her spine, and dipping under her hips. His finger glided along her swollen folds as he drove into her.

The fire inside burned white-hot. Tina stiffened as the climax ripped through her. She cried out, her flesh clenching his. Dev clamped his hand on her hips with one final thrust, growling low when he found his release.

Tina’s arms and legs threatened to collapse but Dev’s hands held her up. Her body throbbed with pleasure as he withdrew and laid her down carefully. Tina slowly turned on her back, stunned and shaky, as Dev toppled next to her.


* * *

Tina lay sprawled on the bed and closed her eyes. The only sound she heard was her heart pounding in her ears, her rough gulps of air, and the quiet buzz of the ceiling fan.

What had she done? What was she thinking? One moment she was offering a quiet divorce and the next she was tearing her husband’s clothes off. It had always been this way with them. The time away had done nothing to diminish the passion they shared.

It was more than passion for her. She didn’t know if it was because Dev was her first lover and the only man she had loved. All she knew was that she wanted this skin-on-skin connection. She needed to be part of him. Even now she was tempted to turn toward Dev and curl into his body.

“This changes nothing,” she murmured as the panic began to surface.

“It changes everything,” Dev replied softly.

She clenched her jaw when she heard the low rumble of satisfaction in Dev’s voice. “No, it doesn’t. This was a one-off thing.”

“I plan to make it an everyday thing,” he said as he yawned and stretched. “Every hour. Every moment.”

She tried to stop the shiver of anticipation. “It was just sex.” For him. She needed to remember that.

He lazily stroked her wrist with the curl of his finger. “Mind-blowing, life-changing sex.”

“It was a lapse of judgment,” she argued.

The sound of his chuckle skated along her nerves. “It was the best decision we’ve made in a long time.”

“There was no decision.” That was what made it so humiliating. He kissed her and she went wild. It was like a spark that suddenly exploded. “It just happened.”

“Because we held back until we couldn’t,” he said with disinterest as he laced his large, dark fingers with hers. “Why fight it anymore?”

“I didn’t want this!” She winced at how her voice rose.

Dev’s grip tightened and he slowly turned on his side. Tina wanted to leap out of the bed. He moved with lethal grace yet she didn’t move a muscle. She knew danger was approaching but she was mesmerized by his hot, masculine scent. Tina bent her legs and crossed her arms against her breasts but she knew that wasn’t enough protection.

“Are you saying I forced you?” he asked huskily.

She recognized the growing anger lurking in his voice. She had to be careful or he would prove once again just how easily she would surrender to him. “No,” she said, refusing to look at him. “We just got swept up in the moment. I didn’t mean to have sex with you.”

“You had sex with me by accident?” Dev drawled. “How does one do that? Because it felt very purposeful to me. You knew exactly what you wanted and how. You were very specific—”

“You don’t seem to get it,” she interrupted as a blush scorched her skin. She blindly searched for the bed sheet and drew it over her. “We are ending this marriage in six weeks. I am not sleeping with a man when the relationship already has an expiration date.”

“Yes, you are.” He gave a fierce tug on the bedsheet, ripping it out of her clenched hands. “We are still married and we will live as husband and wife for the remaining six weeks.”

She sharply turned her head and met his gaze. Her pulse skipped hard as she saw the determined glitter in his brown eyes. “And what if I get pregnant?”

He froze. Tina watched his skin pale as his mouth parted open in shock.

“We didn’t use protection,” she whispered.

Dev closed his eyes but not fast enough. Was that regret she had seen? Or fear? She couldn’t tell but it didn’t give her the comfort she desperately sought. “Tina—”

“This is a problem,” she said in a hiss as the panic threatened to bubble and overflow. “I am never, ever getting pregnant again.”

His jaw snapped shut. “When did you decide this? You loved being pregnant and you couldn’t wait to meet our baby. You always wanted to be a mother. Remember how you wanted to have at least half a dozen?”

That was when she’d thought she was strong and healthy. When they first married, Tina had felt protected and invincible. Now she felt broken and weary. “I said that before I miscarried.”

Dev reached for her. “Next time—”

She jerked into a sitting position. “There will be no next time! I’m not going to go through that again.” Tina propped her forehead against the palm of her hand. “The loss, the pain...”

He sat up and cupped her shoulder with his large hand. “Just because you had a miscarriage, it doesn’t mean it will happen every time you get pregnant.”

But there were no guarantees. In fact, she was at a higher risk. She didn’t feel like she would be whole again and another loss would break her completely. “I’m not willing to take that chance.”

“If you’re pregnant, I will give you all the support you need,” Dev vowed. His voice was clear and confident. “This time I’ll put everything on hold so I can be with you every step of the way.”

“Be with me?” Her voice cracked. “How is that going to happen? We will be divorced by then.”

His harsh features darkened as he frowned. “Do you think I’m going to walk away from my child?” Dev asked coldly. “Our deal is off if you’re pregnant. If we have a baby, we are married forever.”

He wouldn’t grant her the divorce? No, no, no! She couldn’t stay married to him. He would take over her life again. She couldn’t let that happen. “No, that was never part of the agreement.”

“Circumstances change,” he said as he got out of bed. “It’s our agreement now.”

“I’m not staying with you, do you hear me?” Tina punched the mattress with her fist as the fear coiled tightly around her chest. “I can’t be married to a man who tries to control every aspect of my life because he thinks I’m incapable.”

“I thought you understood.” He rubbed his hands over his face and exhaled sharply. “I was trying to help you. And you can’t accept that I went through hell, too.”

“Hell? You want to talk about hell?”

Dev dropped his hands and she saw the pain etched into his face. Tina bit her lip and watched with fascination as he hooded his eyes. Had he kept it hidden from her all this time, or had she been so wrapped up in her own misery that she hadn’t noticed?

“When I say that I will be there for you and that I will care for you,” he said slowly, “it does not mean that I’m going to hold your hand and say all the right words. It means making tough decisions when you can’t make them for yourself. It means doing what is best for you even if it gives you the right to hate me.”

She went still. “What are you saying?”

“If you’re pregnant, I will do everything in my power to keep you here.” He placed his hands on his hips as he made his vow. “I will give you and the baby the best possible care. You will not work, leave this house or even leave this bed.”

She drew her head back as she watched him with extreme caution. She misunderstood. She had to. “You would treat me like a prisoner?”

“I will keep you safe,” he said gruffly.

“Wait a second. Do you think I somehow caused the miscarriage?” she asked huskily as her throat tightened with emotions. “I did everything the doctor prescribed. I didn’t take any unnecessary risks.”

“No, you are not to blame,” he said. “I let you continue filming even though it meant long hours and hard physical work.”

“You let me?” She hated how the tears stung her eyes.

“I didn’t know that the soundstages you worked on were so unsafe. No pregnant woman—especially not my wife—should have been working in those conditions. I should have made you stop.”

“You just told me earlier that I’m not to blame. Now you think my career harmed our baby.”

He scowled. “I don’t think that, but I’m not willing to take that risk. I will make sure you will not work in Bollywood while you’re carrying my child.”

“Don’t threaten me!”

The anger crackled in the air as Dev strode to the bathroom. “These are not threats. I am outlining possible events. If you are carrying my child, this time I’m not letting you out of my sight,” he said as he slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Dev was not going to get away with this, Tina decided days later as she searched for her cell phone in her handbag. She heard the screech of tires and the immediate cry of the car horns as her driver navigated the luxury sedan through traffic.

Tina punched in the numbers on her cell phone and settled back in her seat. Dev seemed to think he could get away with anything. He thought all he had to do was smile and he could get his way.

She noticed he’d changed tactics after they slept together. Instead of confrontation, he courted her. For the past week Dev had treated her as if she was a queen during the day and his courtesan at night. Tina shifted in her seat as she recalled how Dev had brought her to climax the night before. She wasn’t armed for that kind of battle.

Dev answered on the first ring. “Miss me already, jaan?”


Tina pressed her lips together as her heart leaped from the sound of his voice. “Don’t push your luck with me,” she said sweetly in English as she glanced at the driver.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit your mother,” he said. “I had to go to the office for an important meeting.”

She pressed the phone closer to her ear when she heard the shuffle of papers and the clink of glasses in the background. “You’re still in the meeting? Why did you pick up?”

“Because you called. What can I do for you, Tina? Name it and it’s yours.”

Was he acting that way because he had an audience? Tina dismissed that idea. Dev liked buying gifts but it was nothing like the joy he received when he helped her. He liked turning a problem over in his mind and finding a solution for her. There were times when Tina thought she had embarrassed him with her gratitude. Those were the only moments when she had seen his shy smile and the red streak highlighting his cheekbones.

“I just came back from my mother’s house where I heard all about the wedding preparations,” Tina said. “You are being far too generous.”

Dev scoffed at the idea. “Impossible.”

“You’re giving Meera and my mother everything they want!”

“Not everything. I can’t give the bride the sports car she wanted to arrive in at the wedding. I tried, but there are none available.”

Tina groaned. She didn’t know about the car. Did he know they were planning to cover the car with garlands and roses? “You need to learn to say no. You have no problems doing that with me.”

“Did I say no to you at all last night?” Dev’s voice rumbled. “Or this morning?”

Tina tried to shut down the memory but she clearly recalled every angle and plane of his gloriously masculine body. Her mouth watered as she remembered how Dev’s warm skin tasted when she pleasured him awake.

“Why are you doing this?” She dropped her tone and gave another glance at the front of the car. The driver didn’t know English but she wasn’t taking any chances. “We will be divorced before Meera has her wedding.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he said seriously, the flirtatious tone disappearing in an instant. “I didn’t give you the wedding you deserved.”

She pulled the phone away and looked at it before she placed it against her ear again. “What are you talking about?”

“We eloped when I should have given you the wedding of your dreams.”

“I liked our wedding.” The words tumbled from her mouth. She didn’t want to discuss that happy day with the man she was planning to divorce.

“You deserved more.” The way he said those words made Tina’s heart squeeze. “I see that now. I thought...”

“Thought what?” she prompted when his voice trailed off.

“That I had done my part by offering marriage,” he said softly, regretfully. “That I had exceeded expectations.”

“I know.” Everyone thought he had gone beyond the call of duty and she should be grateful. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“I’m trying to make amends. I can’t go back and fix that wedding.”

“So you’re going to make it up to me by giving my sister the wedding of her dreams? Taking care of it so I don’t have to?”

“Something like that,” he muttered.

“Dev, I liked our wedding. It was intimate and personal and most important, it wasn’t a spectacle.” She shuddered as she imagined what the wedding would have been like if they had invited the Bollywood royalty. “It could have easily been a circus, which was the last thing I wanted. I wanted it to be about us and that is what I got.”

As the silence pulsed between them, Tina realized how much she had revealed. Her marriage, her growing family, was all that had mattered to her. Now she was on the brink of losing everything.

“I have to go,” Tina said briskly. She was flustered and knew it came through in her voice. “I have a stylist and a makeup artist coming over to prepare for the award ceremony.”

“I’ll be home soon,” Dev said.

“I made the mistake of telling my mother about the award ceremony,” Tina said, wincing at how she continued to babble on when she should end the phone call. “She watches all of them and she’s so excited. She thinks I need to make a good impression and wear a sari and hair extensions.”

“Forget the hair extensions,” Dev advised. “I’m beginning to like your short hair. You can’t hide behind it. But a sari...”

She groaned at how his voice deepened with pleasure. Tina made a face. “I hate wearing saris. You know that. I feel clumsy and swaddled in those things.”

“But you like it when I unwrap the sari and—”

Tina held her hand up as if she could stop him. “Enough!”

“Wear the sari.”

His gravelly voice made her skin tingle. “Goodbye, Dev.” She shut the phone off as the car pulled into her driveway.

She didn’t know what to do with this flirtatious Dev. He had been like that when they first met. He knew how to make her blush and how to coax a smile. And she remembered the gleam in his eyes when she flirted back. It had given her the courage to act a little bolder, knowing that it pleased him.

How could he tease her when the possibility of a baby was there? Tina’s mood darkened and she looked blankly out the window. How could he find happiness when the cycle of loss and devastation threatened to continue?

But then, how could she have sex with him every night? Dev made sure they used protection every time but that wasn’t the only thing she was worried about. The pull she had with Dev was getting stronger. How was she going to break that bond in five weeks if she kept making love with him?

* * *

An explosion of camera lights blinded Tina the moment Dev stepped out of the limousine and onto the red carpet. She heard the reporters yelling questions over the cheering crowd. Tina firmly held on to her smile as Dev reached out his hand. She grabbed on tight and stepped out of the car, praying her strapless pink evening gown stayed in place.

Dev released her hand and curved his arm around her waist as he waved to his fans. She wanted to curl into his body, rest her head against his tuxedo jacket and enjoy the possessive touch. She was proud to be at his side and for a moment, she felt he was just as proud to be with her.

“Dev! Dev!” A reporter with a microphone hurried to them. Tina had not been at an award ceremony before. She had never been nominated and she hadn’t been famous enough for invitation until she married. Unfortunately, Dev rarely attended these events because he was always on location. But Tina knew enough about red-carpet etiquette after watching countless award shows on television. Since it was her husband’s big night, she didn’t wear anything that would detract attention from him. She also knew to step away and let him conduct the interviews. As the supportive wife, she wasn’t there to share the spotlight.

She stepped out of his hold so he could do his job, but Dev had other ideas. He snagged her hand and laced his fingers with hers. He wasn’t going to let her out of his sight.

“Are those the Arjun jewels?”

Tina turned to see a television reporter standing close. The woman thrust a microphone in her face as she stared at the yellow gold necklace that spanned past Tina’s collarbone. The matching drop earrings were heavy and swayed with every move.

“Yes,” Tina said as she pressed her fingertips on the necklace, revealing the ornate ring that went with the set. “Dev asked me to wear them tonight.”

She had been stunned when Dev had presented the wide, flat jewelry box. She had heard about the Arjun jewels but never thought he would want her to wear them. Tina had been flustered and awkward when he helped her with the necklace. The gesture had almost felt like a sacred ritual. As if he was declaring to the whole world that she was his. His woman, his wife.

“And are you excited about tonight? This is your first award ceremony,” the reporter said in a clipped, almost rushed tone. “You missed quite a few in the last few months.”

Tina gritted her teeth. Now she understood why this woman had approached her instead of the big names. She was looking for a bigger story. An exclusive.

She wasn’t going to get one. The media worked hard to give the actors and actresses an image and then spent the rest of the time trying to tear it down. She was supposed to be beautiful and sexy, but chaste. Tina had broken that rule when she got pregnant before marrying Dev. She was supposed to be from the high echelons of society and hold on to Indian values. It didn’t help that she was from the slums.

It was expected that she showed no cracks in her marriage even though reporters were eager to point out any tension. When she miscarried, she hadn’t been able to show her distress or depression. Reality wasn’t allowed to touch Bollywood stars. Her world had crumbled but she’d had to act as if everything was fine.

“You weren’t even at your father-in-law’s funeral,” the reporter said.

“I look forward to the tribute for Dev’s father,” Tina said as she tightened her hold on Dev’s hand. “He had an amazing career and influenced the film industry for decades.”


“Were you close to your father-in-law?”

“Of course,” Tina lied. Vikram Arjun hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with her. Their relationship had been cold and distant. He’d offered no condolences or even acknowledgment when she had miscarried.

She would never reveal the truth. No one wanted to hear it and she didn’t want to share how unwelcome she was in the Arjun family. The Bollywood fans watched the movies because they wanted to be swept away in the fantasy. They wanted the heroes, stories about star-crossed lovers, and the exotic and luxurious settings. Anything that didn’t remind them of their reality.

She felt Dev tugging her hand and she excused herself from the ambush interview. Dev held on to her hand as they slowly made their way down the red carpet. Every reporter wanted to talk to her husband, who was up for several awards. Working the red carpet was nothing new for Dev while she just tried not to look out of place.

When they finally made it into the auditorium, Tina took a moment to look around. The enormous stage was big enough for an entire cast to perform dance numbers. The audience was filled with the most beautiful actors and actresses. As Dev guided her to the front row, there was a ripple of awareness. She heard the whispers and felt the stares but she ignored them. As they reached their seats, Tina saw her mother-in-law was already there.

Tina took a deep breath. It was going to take all of her acting abilities to remain cool and in control. She didn’t falter when Dev approached the legendary actress.

Gauri Arjun didn’t look like her son. Her delicate and feminine features were framed by waves of dark brown hair. The woman was petite and slender while her son was tall and muscular. Dev favored jeans yet his mother only wore traditional clothes. Expensive ones, Tina noted, to go with her designer shoes.

“Maaji,” she greeted in the manner Dev’s mother had insisted on. She bent down to touch Gauri’s feet. She felt clumsy as everyone in the auditorium watched her. “It’s been too long.”

“Yes, it has.”

Tina knew she was probably being sensitive, but the woman could make any word or phrase sound like a reprimand. “I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. He—”

Gauri swept away her condolences with the wave of her hand. “Thank you. I see that you are wearing the Arjun jewels.”

“She is an Arjun,” Dev reminded his mother as he gestured for Tina to sit down next to his mother.

“Before you sit down, Dev, you need to find Rajinder,” Gauri said, referring to a legend who only needed to go by one name. “He has to speak to you before the show starts.”

Dev sighed and glanced at Tina. “I’ll be fine,” she said and gave a small bobble of her head. She knew that Gauri would either ignore her or unsheathe her claws the moment Dev left. It was nothing she hadn’t dealt with before.

As she watched Dev walk away, Gauri immediately turned to Tina. “I feel the need to be honest,” the older woman declared.

Tina’s muscles locked as she braced herself. It was never good when someone warned they were going to be honest. She wanted to hunch her shoulders and bend her head. Instead she straightened her spine and thrust her chin out.

“You should not wear those jewels,” Gauri said as she flicked her gaze over Tina’s throat. “You don’t have the pedigree or the right to wear them!”

Tina bit her tongue as she held her hands tightly in her lap. She wanted to answer back. Stand up for herself, but she didn’t say anything. The Hindi film industry thought she wasn’t worthy of her husband. Sometimes she sensed that her husband had felt that way, too.

“Everyone knows that Dev only married you because you were carrying the heir to the Arjun dynasty,” Gauri said.

“You mean your grandchild,” she murmured. She would have shielded her baby from the pressure of the Arjun legacy and the expectations of becoming the next Bollywood megastar. She knew Dev would have felt the same way.

“We could have started grooming this baby for greatness,” Gauri said and then gave a shrug, “as long as it inherited your looks and not your acting abilities.”

Tina let the backhanded compliment slide. She knew she got most of her roles because of her appearance and dancing skills. Her achievements were small compared to the rest of the audience at this ceremony, but she’d worked hard and made a career.

“Now you’re back and Dev has taken time off from work? He backed out on a movie that was a surefire hit?” The anger vibrated in Gauri’s voice. “And at the worst time. I can’t tolerate this any longer.”

“I think this is a conversation you should have with your son,” Tina murmured. She gave a sidelong glance and noticed other guests were trying to listen into their conversation.

“Nonsense. You tricked Dev into marrying you in order to help your career.” The older woman’s voice sharpened with impatience. “That didn’t work out. You disappeared and now you have returned. I want to know what you want.”

She wanted a fresh start. Before she returned to Mumbai, Tina had thought that meant a life without Dev. Now, she wasn’t so sure. There were too many times that she imagined staying with Dev and creating a family.

“What do I want?” she asked as she watched Dev walking back to her. He was sophisticated and gorgeous. A true megastar. But her favorite memories were those quiet moments at home when they’d prepared for the birth of their child. “I want him to be happy.”

Gauri rolled her eyes. “The only way that’s going to happen is if you leave him,” she said decisively. “For good.”

Tina’s polite smile dipped. She was often in disagreement with Gauri Arjun, but this time she knew her mother-in-law was right.