Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage

CHAPTER SIX


TINA NERVOUSLY LICKED her mouth with the tip of her tongue. Dev watched the movement with an intensity that took her breath away. Stark need pulsed through her veins.

She didn’t want to answer Dev. If she lied, he would prove her wrong. If she answered truthfully, he would demonstrate the accuracy of her guess. He needed to learn that she would pretend to be a devoted wife but he could not expect total submission.

But if she got out of bed, would he follow her? Her heart pounded wildly as she imagined his pursuit. She rocked her hips and the ache between her legs intensified. Tina bit her lip and Dev’s eyes glittered with knowing.

He knew what she was resisting. He knew exactly how to touch her, how to please her. Dev would ruthlessly use that knowledge and she wouldn’t put up much of a fight. He would strip her of her pride well before he stripped off her clothes.

“Yes,” she said.

His harsh features sharpened, his skin pulled tight. His carnal look matched the primal need inside her. She sensed the tension coiling inside him as if he was going to pounce.

Tina suddenly realized that her reply sounded like a request. A whispered plea. As if she wanted him to stay exactly where he was. She cleared her throat. “Yes, the answer is never.”

He lowered his head as if he were in a trance.

“Did you hear me, Dev?” Her voice was edged with desperation. “It’s not going to happen.” She pushed at his shoulders ineffectively, careful not to slide her hand along the sprinkle of curls against his warm and muscular chest. “The only reason I’m in this bed is to fulfill an agreement.”

He closed his eyes and she saw the fine tremor sweeping through his body. She felt his struggle before he opened his eyes. His gaze was dull and she wasn’t quite sure if he saw her. He was focused on the battle within.

“I heard you,” he said gruffly as he rolled onto his back and lay next to her. His movements were stiff and he sounded almost disappointed with her decision.

Tina quickly turned away from Dev and clutched onto the edge of the mattress. She bent her legs and curled into a protective position. She felt hot and her body throbbed for his touch. How was she going to resist him—resist every temptation—like this every night for the next two months?

She couldn’t. She would have to play the waiting game. Once Dev fell asleep, she would slide out of bed and make a pallet. She’d remove all evidence that she slept on the floor before anyone woke up. Dev would never know.

The sag of the mattress was Tina’s only warning before Dev curled up next to her, his arm lying heavy against her abdomen. Her legs jerked and she was primed to leap out of the bed. It took all of her self-control to remain still.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she felt his erection pressing against her.

“Not having sex.”

“I made my choice, Dev.” She tried to shove her elbow in his stomach, but he didn’t budge. “I’m not about to change my mind.”

“About the sex? I believe it,” he said drowsily. “About staying in bed? You’re going to creep out of it like a thief the minute I fall asleep.”

“So you’re going to hold on to me all night long?” Tina wasn’t sure why she sounded surprised. Dev had always gathered her in his arms while they slept. Back then, the sweet gesture made her feel cherished. Now it felt like imprisonment.

His embrace tightened with warning. “Go to sleep.”

“How can I?” she complained.

Dev’s large hand slid along the curve of her hip. “I know one technique that always left you soft, warm and sleepy.”

She shivered as she remembered how he would drag out the pleasure until her skin was bathed with sweat. Her muscles would be straining, her lungs ready to burst as her heart thumped wildly against her rib cage. She would beg, plead and threaten him if he didn’t sink deep into her body. With each measured thrust, he had created a roaring fire that had consumed her.


“Cold?” he taunted, his mouth close to her ear. “Is that why you’re wearing this old thing?” Dev pulled at her white cotton tunic.

“No.” She had difficulty getting the word out of her mouth.

“Your negligees are still in the closet.” Dev crushed the fabric in his fist.

“I know.” She had avoided the lace and silk slips on purpose. She had also tried to ignore another section of her closet. “So are my maternity clothes.”

Dev’s pause was almost tangible. He seemed momentarily at a loss. As if he hadn’t expected her to mention the baby. Tina didn’t move when his hand slid along her flat stomach. “I didn’t want to get rid of those,” he confessed. “Of anything.”

Tina felt the tears well up. She blinked rapidly as her nose and throat stung. “Why not?” she whispered.

“Why would I?” He continued to stroke her stomach and the tender caress lulled her. “I knew you would be back.”

“All of those clothes hold bad memories.” It wasn’t quite true. She had been so excited about the baby. Every milestone had been cause for celebration. She’d bought those maternity clothes in anticipation of her ever-changing body. She’d never had a chance to wear some of them.

“There were a few good memories,” he said calmly as his hand moved higher. “I remember the silk nightgown you wore on our wedding night.”

Tina shook her head. She knew he was trying to distract her from thinking about the unused maternity wear, but that nightgown represented her na?veté. She had carefully chosen the white silk, believing the night represented hope and eternal love.

“I’m never wearing that again,” she vowed. “Tomorrow I’m stuffing it in the garbage.”

His hand spanned her ribs, just under her breast. “You’ll wear it if I ask you.”

She scoffed. “In your dreams.”

His mouth rested against her ear. “You’re not wearing anything in my dreams.”

Tina clenched her jaw. “Go to sleep, Dev.”

“Good night, jaan.” She felt him flex his tense fingers before he reluctantly removed his hand. “Do you want me to keep the light on? Are you still having nightmares?”

“No,” she admitted. Those bad dreams after her miscarriage had been so terrifying they had ripped her out of a deep sleep with a scream on her lips. She hated that Dev had witnessed her fears. “I haven’t had one for a while.”

“Good,” he said with satisfaction as he reached for the lamp and turned off the lights. The room was plunged into darkness. “But if you do, don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

She frowned at his offer. “What good is that going to do?”

He rested his hand on her head. Her scalp tingled and she was very aware of how exposed she felt without her long hair. “I’ll chase your demons away, Tina.”

She wished that were true, but she’d learned the hard way that he wouldn’t be there when she needed him.

* * *

Dev watched the sun rising as he held Tina in his arms. It had taken her hours before she had fallen asleep. When her tense muscles had gradually relaxed, it had felt like a hard-won victory.

Tina had always been a restless sleeper but it had never bothered him. It had felt like she was searching for him even in her sleep. Tonight she had reached for him, muttering something indecipherable and quieted down when her hand touched his skin.

Now she was curled up tight against his chest. This was the closest they’d been since they’d lost their son. A sigh shuddered through him. Tina had slowly drifted away and it had gotten worse in the last days before she disappeared.

She was stronger now. He missed her long hair, the way it would fan across the pillow, fall down like a veil when she was on top of him, and how he could wrap it around his hand and hold her still. But he didn’t mourn the loss. He wanted to sigh with relief at the sparkle in her eyes and the color in her cheeks. He wanted to swing her in his arms every time she fought back.

It almost hurt holding her like this. It reminded him of how things used to be. Holding Tina, touching her, loving her, had been a privilege he had taken for granted. He missed this intimacy. He missed Tina.

Did she miss him? He didn’t think so. The only reason she’d come back was to ask for a divorce. He was surprised she’d asked for it in person. He had expected to get a call from his lawyer as the days dragged on.

But he was going to fight this divorce. Remind her of how good it used to be and that it could be that way again. But first she had to trust him. Forgive him for failing her. He didn’t think that was going to happen in the next two months.

* * *

Tina stood excitedly at the tiny stall on the corner of the dusty street. The honking horns and the overlapping conversations were the sounds of her childhood. The scent of spices in the air mingling with the odor of garbage was familiar.

She straightened the dupatta that covered her short hair and looked around the old neighborhood. The day was wet with humidity and everyone moved slowly. A bright-blue rickshaw kept together with duct tape seemed to shuffle past. The handbag vendor had patches of sweat on his white kurta shalwar while haggling with a group of young women in jewel-colored saris.

“I can’t believe you chew paan.” Dev shook his head with disgust as he settled his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. He leaned against the colorfully painted street cart as small cars and motorcycles drove by. “What would your mother say?”

“That it has no nutritional value and it’s going to ruin my teeth.” Tina had heard that lecture many times. She glanced up at Dev. “That makes it taste even better.”

His slanted smile made her pulse skip hard. She abruptly looked away and watched the paan walla’s red-stained hands. The man layered coconut and spices on a bright green betel leaf before he wrapped it into a tight bundle. “My mouth is watering,” she confessed to Dev.

“Want to know what whets my appetite?”

She blushed at the heavy innuendo in his tone. “You should keep your voice down,” Tina said in English, casting a quick look at the walla’s face. He didn’t seem to recognize what she said or who she was. “It was named one of the most recognizable voices in Bollywood.”

“I believe it was the sexiest voice in Bollywood,” he replied in English.

“My mistake.” He had also been named sexiest actor every year, which wasn’t hard to believe. Dev Arjun was charming, athletic and possessed a sex appeal that wasn’t manufactured. He was gorgeous without even trying.

She gave a quick glance at him. For the past two weeks, Dev had stopped shaving. The dark stubble didn’t soften his chiseled jawline or diminish his masculine beauty. If anything, it gave a reckless edge to his dark looks. The indigo-blue kurta shalwar he wore skimmed his athletic body. She tried not to notice. Dev Arjun looked debonair in a tuxedo and sexy in jeans and a T-shirt, but Tina always thought her husband was stunning when he wore the long tunic and drawstring pants.

“I thought we were in this neighborhood because you wanted to get chaat,” Dev said.

“I want that, too.” For months she’d eaten only for sustenance, for fuel. Nothing had tasted good and it had been a chore at every meal to spoon the food into her mouth. Yet it was different since she had returned to Mumbai. She noticed the toasted warmth of cumin or the bite of cayenne wafting in the air and needed to taste it. Experience it.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a restaurant?” Dev said as he placed a protective arm on the small of her back as a barefoot child with spindly arms and legs ran past them. “There’s a really good one on the other side of Mumbai.”

Other side. She knew he really meant to say the good side. The glittery and elite world where he ruled. The exclusive neighborhoods that she still couldn’t enter if she didn’t have the Arjun name and clout behind her.

“Those restaurants are not authentic. They make appetizers and snacks that are inspired by chaat,” she declared with her nose in the air. “You have to get chaat from the streets. Tell me you’ve eaten something from these wallas at some point in your life.”

He shook his head. “My family considered it unhygienic.”

“That just adds to the taste,” she teased him. “I can’t believe you haven’t been to a bazaar or eaten street food. You need to see more of Mumbai.”

“I was born and raised here,” he reminded her.

“Not my Mumbai.” She flashed a smile of thanks to the paan walla as she accepted the stuffed beetle leaf that lay on a small square of tin foil. As Dev paid with rupees, Tina tucked the treat in her mouth, resting it between her teeth and the inside of her cheek. She tilted her head back and moaned. “Ah, now that tastes like home.”

Dev looked away abruptly. As if he couldn’t stand the sight of her. Her stomach twisted and suddenly she wanted to spit out the paan. “Are you sure you don’t want to get one of your own?” she asked.

“I’m sure.” His words were clipped with anger. “Let’s go find some chaat.”

Tina hated his mercurial mood. He had never acted like that before and yet it was happening constantly in the past two weeks. Just when she thought they had found a truce, it slipped away. It was like dark storm clouds rolling in suddenly and blocking out the sun.


She also noticed that he hadn’t touched her in two weeks. The briefest touch and flirty banter teased her, had her waiting for his next move, but nothing happened. He didn’t hold her through the night or swoop in for a kiss.

She was glad about that. Just thrilled. Tina always knew that this day would come, when he no longer found her attractive. It was bound to happen. She may not have a hold on his senses, but he would never know how weak she was for him.

“Aloo tikki sounds good, doesn’t it?” she asked with determined brightness. “I’ve always had a weakness for potatoes. Ooh, no. Forget that. What about panipuri?” Her hands fluttered in front of her mouth as she thought about the crispy treat that was filled with spicy water. “I haven’t had that for ages.”

“You could have had that months ago if you had returned home with me.”

Tina decided to ignore that comment. “We should move faster before someone recognizes us. And unless you want to start a mob, stop giving money to the beggars.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dev’s attention was straight ahead as they navigated the busy sidewalk.

“You keep slipping rupees to anyone who asks,” she said. “They’re going to follow and ask for more. And the other beggars will see that you’re a soft touch and it’s going to get out of hand.”

“It’s okay, Tina. I can always get more. I just...” He snapped his mouth shut and gave a shrug. “I can’t help it.”

“I know.” Dev didn’t know what it was like to go hungry or worry about money, but she could tell how much it upset him to see the suffering. He had always refrained from asking her what it had been like to live in extreme poverty. Tina was grateful for that. She wanted to protect him from the ugly truth.

“Oh, look.” She grabbed his arm and pointed at the magazine racks in front of a DVD store. “Movie magazines!”

“I know you love reading these rags, but you can’t believe everything they say,” he warned.

“I read these all the time when I was trying to break into the business.” She turned the carousel until she found the weekly magazine she had always enjoyed. She gasped when she saw an old picture of herself on the cover. “Bollywood’s Bad Girl?” she read the headline.

“That reminds me,” Dev said as he watched her flip through the magazine to find the story, “how did your meetings go with your agent?”

She winced. “I don’t want to talk about it.” If there had been any good or promising news, Tina would have immediately shared the information with Dev. It was difficult to share the disappointing news with someone who had the Midas touch.

“It couldn’t be that bad.”

“Yes, it could.” Tina paused and glanced up at Dev. “The shampoo company dropped me from my endorsement deal because of my haircut.”

He nodded as if he wasn’t surprised. “I’m sure they had a clause about you changing your appearance without their permission.”

“And I lost out on a role,” she admitted as her shoulders slumped. “One of the Kapoors got it. I should have known. The director is a cousin.”

Dev hesitated. “You know, Arjun Entertainment...”

She immediately straightened her shoulders back and continuing flipping through the magazine pages. “Thank you, Dev, but I can’t work for you.”

“But you can work for my competitors?”

His sharp tone compelled her to look up. Dev’s frustration poured from him like billowing heat. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Actresses marry producers and media moguls all the time in Mumbai,” Dev continued. “And when it happens, the actress only works for her husband’s film company.”

“Which is usually what the actress is hoping for all along. I didn’t marry you for my career.” He didn’t understand. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—be financially dependent on him. He had displayed enough power over her life.

An emotion chased across Dev’s face that Tina couldn’t define. “Why—”

“Oh, here’s the article!” she said, desperate to change the topic before another argument began. “Huh. Apparently, I have risen from the dead.”

Dev scowled. “You don’t want to read that. Nothing good comes from hearing the gossip about yourself.”

“It says here that Bollywood’s Bad Girl went wild in America. Drinking, drugs and dating countless men.” She made a face. “I’m surprised they didn’t add an arrest record or a homemade sex video to the lies.”

“That’s not funny.” His fierce expression sent a shiver down her spine.

She reached out and patted his arm. “According to this, one insider source thought you got the Bollywood mafia to whack me. There’s something here about numerous sources suggesting that Shreya Sen was behind my disappearance.” She frowned. “And how she got the last laugh because...”

Dev snatched the magazine from her hand. “These magazines are full of lies,” he declared as he stuffed it back into the rack.

She stared at him. She wanted to grab the magazine and read the last paragraph again. There was no way that could be true. Dev wouldn’t do that to her. Would he?

“Shreya Sen was the leading lady in your film?” She stumbled over the words as the anger and hurt shredded through her. “You are playing star-crossed lovers with the woman you were supposed to marry?”

“Calm down, Tina.”

The fury built up inside her with ferocious speed. For one scary moment she thought that she was really on the brink of losing total control. “You know what, Dev? Forget our agreement,” she said in a deceptively cool tone.

“Your career—”

“Is dead. Just like this marriage.” The hurt swelled inside her like gaping wound. “But I might garner some interest with my dead career. Give that magazine a tell-all story.”

Dev watched her cautiously, as if he was trying to determine her mood. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“I’ll let them know just how the most popular action hero—the favorite romantic hero—tried to blacklist me in Bollywood. I can’t wait to see how your investors will respond to that cover story!”

Dev’s eyes held an unholy glow. “Be very careful, Tina. I’m about to call your bluff.”

“This is no bluff.” She took a step forward. “I’ve seen your worst and I survived it. You haven’t seen what I’m capable of doing.”