“It’s nothing important,” he says with a wide grin. There’s something turning in his mind, but fear keeps me from trying to force him to speak. After our conversation last night and the bits and pieces of his talk with Melanie that I overheard this morning, I’m not ready to hear what he has to say. Just like his father, Jacob is filling the void left by Alyssa’s absence. Would he feel that same need if it was a different female in his life or is it because it’s Melanie that he has allowed himself to grow so attached? “Daddy, are you taking me to school this morning?”
I glance at the clock, seeing that it’s just after eight o’clock. I’m supposed to be meeting with Braydon in an hour to finalize the paperwork and discuss who is going to take on which responsibilities within the club. He had offered to let me take some time after leaving Infinity to spend the end of the summer with Jacob and Melanie, but I can’t do that. I need the stability and structure offered by having a job to go to every day. “Melanie, I hate to ask, but could you take him? I have to jump in the shower and then I have to meet up with Braydon.”
“Of course! You do what you have to do and I’ll take care of him.” Jacob starts giggling on my other side, causing both of us to stare at him. “What’s so funny over there?” Melanie asks, reaching across my body to tickle him.
My traitorous body stirs to life as her forearm brushes against my hips. I lift Jacob’s body off the bed so I can make my escape without asking Melanie to move. If I face her, she’s going to know exactly what’s going through my mind right now.
“Okay, your dad is gone, so now you can tell me what’s got you so happy this morning,” I hear Melanie say as I close myself in the bathroom. I lean against the sheet of oak, straining to hear the conversation on the other side of the door.
“I’m happy because you stayed with us last night, silly!” There’s more giggling and I know they’re wrestling around on the bed. I’m beginning to regret telling Braydon I would meet up with him and contemplate calling to tell him I’ve reconsidered, but I can’t do that to him. His partner has already signed his part of the paperwork and skipped town, supposedly chasing after a woman he swears is his soul mate, and Braydon can’t handle everything at the club on his own.
“I’ve spent the night with you a lot of times. Why are you so happy about last night?” she asks innocently. She’s a smart woman, so I’m not sure how she hasn’t figured out that she just pulled the pin on a grenade.
“Because it means birthday wishes really do come true!” Even muffled by the door, I hear Melanie’s audible gasp as she begins to see where this conversation is headed.
“And what was your wish?” she asks, very tentatively. I reach for the door knob, ready to give up on the idea of showering so I’m there for the rest of this conversation. Even though she can handle just about anything Jacob throws her way, this feels like one of those times she needs both of us. I peek my head out the door and see her looking over Jacob’s body, shaking her head at me. I cock an eyebrow, silently asking if she’s sure and she nods. I close the door and continue eavesdropping. Knowing that she’s wants to have this uncomfortable conversation with him one-on-one means more than she’ll ever know. I might not have clarity of my own intentions when it comes to Melanie, but I have no doubt she truly loves my son and that’s what really matters.
“I wished that you could stay with us so I can have a mommy again,” he says matter-of-factly. “I don’t have a mommy anymore and I think my daddy really likes you, and I do too, so I want you to be my new mommy.”
“Oh, baby,” she says so softly I can barely hear her. I can’t see what’s going on, but knowing what I do of Melanie, I have no doubt she’s cradling my son in her arms, giving him every ounce of love he deserves. “I love you so, so much. We’ve talked about how your mommy will always be yours, right?”
“Yeah, but I want a mommy I can see and you told me I can’t see her anymore.” The sadness in his voice suffocates every bit of joy he possessed earlier. “And you stayed last night, so you’re my mommy that I can see.”
“Well, we can talk more about that later, but I’m honored that you want me to be your bonus mom.” They both go quiet and I fill the sink so I can shave. I’m going to have to hurry because now I have to talk to Mel before she leaves. I can’t have this hanging between us. Even if Jacob is ready to welcome her into his life permanently, I’m not. I love her and can’t imagine not having her in my life, but I’m not ready for that level of commitment. Not until I know that I can be the man she deserves.
Chapter 21