That’s me, Miss Practicality.
Phoenix’s mask fell away to reveal the true pale horror of what was to come. ‘Like me, Lilith hates the Cherubim.’ His smile was wry. ‘It’s the only hobby we ever shared. But whereas I just like to destroy them, she fancies herself as being more creative, using modern-day representations of their rank – of which the Cherubim despise – to disrespect and send her twisted messages to them.’
I had to know, once and for all, why he hated the Cherubim so much, so I asked.
‘They kept her locked out of Eden after she fled. They drew their flaming swords and guarded the place so she could never return. Angels might be many things, but forgiving is not often one of them. I actually suspect Lilith loved Adam – as much as she was capable of loving anyone. I never understood how love and hate could be so strong all at once. Not until recently.’
His words stung.
He kept going. ‘When the Seraphim decided I wasn’t angel enough and branded me one of the abyss – to have no home, no purpose – they took everything I was and stepped on it like I was no more than a piece of dirt beneath their mighty feet. The Cherubim were there, both light and dark. They cast me from the realm and locked me out with the seal of their given power. They hated me out of instinct because of Lilith.’
I could feel the pain in his words. He’d told me other versions of the same casting out, how he’d been rejected over and over in his life. The first rejection coming from Lilith herself.
Had I really been so awful? Had I made him come full circle, back to the very thing that first broke a piece of him?
‘I’m sorry, Phoenix,’ I said, and I meant it. My apology was many-fold and I couldn’t even begin to voice it, so I just let it flow from me to him.
He gripped the table, bracing as he experienced the influx of my remorse. He covered it quickly, straightening, and I turned off the emo-tap.
‘Back to the part where we die,’ Lincoln said, unimpressed by what had just passed. ‘How is it decided?’
I thought about what he’d said. The modern-day image of a cherub was a creature of love, tiny fat, winged babies that flew around shooting their arrows of passion.
‘Arrows,’ I whispered.
Phoenix nodded, his eyes closing briefly. ‘Violet will be strung up and shot with finger-length arrows. A child will be freed for each arrow she can survive, until she can take no more.’
‘You mean until I’m dead?’
‘Until you’re dead.’
I ignored my subconscious, the ultimate realisation that death was now beating at my door. Relentless, unwavering, certain death. I looked at Phoenix, unable to face Lincoln beside me.
‘And what about Lincoln?’ I heard myself ask.
‘He is required to accompany you. He’ll be made to watch.’
‘But he doesn’t have to go?’ I asked.
Phoenix shook his head. ‘He has to go. She wants him to see. Without him, the deal is off.’
‘Will he live?’
Phoenix looked down. I closed my eyes.
They’d execute Lincoln after he’d watched me die.
Lincoln’s laugh was bitter. ‘So Lilith expects me to stand by and watch while Violet is tortured?’ He shook his head and leaned forward. ‘That’s never going to happen. Tell your psycho-bitch of a mother to sit on the pointy end of her deal and twist.’
Phoenix didn’t say anything in Lilith’s defence, he simply continued grimly, like a doctor delivering news no patient wants to hear, but must. ‘I can help, but There’s only so much I can do. There’s no way to stop her, but I can give you my word that I’ll get your mother out afterwards, Violet. She’ll keep her alive after …’
‘I’m dead.’
‘There’s something else.’ He glanced at Lincoln now, as if trying to tell him something. But Lincoln was seething so much I didn’t think he could see anything but red. ‘She knows we’re connected, she sensed the bond on me and Olivier was only too happy to confirm it. She’ll order me to reinstate your wounds if you are too strong. She’ll stand by her word to release the children but she won’t want to lose too many.’
He looked between Lincoln and me and sighed, coming to some sort of decision. ‘You’d …’ He swallowed as if it was hard for him to say. ‘You’d be best off if you considered every way to make yourself as powerful as possible before then.’
Lincoln threw his mug at the wall, the pieces shattering, coffee staining the white paint as it dribbled down.
‘This is sick. Vi, you can’t listen to this,’ Lincoln said, but he knew as well as me, it might be sick but it was also the truth.
‘And if you refuse to hurt me?’ I asked Phoenix.
‘I’m of her blood. She can force me.’ He looked down. ‘She knows that I Lincoln isn’t the only one who will be expected to watch.’