‘How are you guys?’ I asked, quickly, wanting to know as much as possible.
Steph didn’t delay. ‘Okay. Salvatore has been amazing. He barely sleeps, patrolling all the time. But he saved us big-time in Cairo when a couple of exiles spotted Onyx and recognised him. Apparently he’s pissed off people and exiles all around the world.’
‘No big surprise,’ I said. ‘Is he behaving otherwise?’
‘Amazingly, yes. He’s even used a few old connections to get us around and it looks like he found a source for the twelfth earthly ingredient for the Qeres. We go looking for it tomorrow and if we find it, we’ll be heading in your direction by tomorrow night.’
‘That’s great!’
‘I heard about your testing and for the record, Josephine is an evil bitch. When I get there I plan on having ugly words with her and her damn Assembly!’
I swallowed hard at the memory. ‘It’s okay. I don’t care,’ I said, then added quickly, ‘How’s Dapper?’
‘Same as always. He’s led us to all of the other ingredients. He is seriously connected and most people are scared shitless of him as well. They drop to their knees and all but hand over their first-born to him. I’m not sure if they worship him or fear him.’
Hmm.
‘Oh,’ Steph continued, ‘Griffin said if I spoke to you to tell you your dad’s doing fine. He’s up and talking and confirmed that Evelyn had been waiting for Lilith to make her move.’
Lincoln tapped my shoulder, pointing to his watch.
‘Damn. Steph, I have to go. Did Dapper have any success figuring out what the thirteenth ingredient is?’ I asked quickly, even as I felt a tug on my memory. I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was missing something here.
‘Yeah, but I don’t know anything about it. He’s being very secretive, says he needs to talk to some elder first, but that it’s definitely from the angel realm. Something to do with life-force, I don’t know.’
Lincoln tapped me again.
‘I miss you,’ I told her, glum.
‘I miss you too, babe. I’ll see you soon so please don’t get dead before I get there. I bought you a T-shirt with a bling pyramid on it!’
Still feeling sad from my conversation with Steph, I moved back out to the rocking chair, selecting my one and leaving Lincoln’s free.
Lincoln disappeared for a while and returned with two instant coffees.
Not perfect, but caffeine is caffeine.
We sipped in comfortable silence. If felt normal and I pretended for a while that we were just ordinary people, even boyfriend and girlfriend, away for the weekend, enjoying each other’s company. Lincoln must have been thinking the same thing, or just sensed my feeling, because he jumped into small talk and we bantered back and forth while munching on a packet of Oreos.
Finally, our make-believe chat ended when Lincoln asked, ‘Have you had any thoughts about next year? Do you think you’ll try for university?’
I lifted a shoulder.
‘I know you had to give up your place on the Fenton course. I’m sorry, Vi. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I know a few people who could probably help get you a place there next year if you’d like.’
There was a time when I definitely would like. But I shook my head. ‘Thanks, but don’t bother. Even if we make it through this, there’ll always be something.’
‘That’s not true. You don’t have to give up on your dreams just because you’re Grigori.’
We were silent again for a while. Lincoln checked his watch and I could tell he was thinking he should patrol again soon. I knew I should tell him what I’d done, about my crazy, impulsive act out in the woods earlier, but when I opened my mouth, something completely different came out.
‘I don’t love him,’ I blurted.
I heard Lincoln’s breath catch. But then he relaxed back into his chair. ‘Did you?’
I swallowed, nervous now. Why had I opened this floodgate? ‘I I cared about him. I think I saw a side to him that no one else got to see and I don’t think it was all fake. There is good in him and even for all the bad I know he cared.’
‘Not exactly an answer, Vi.’
‘No. I know.’ I sighed. ‘I was so mad at you and I wanted to stop loving you, I wanted to love him. I was confused and angry and about to jump off a really big cliff. You had just told me that we could never be together and …’
‘And?’
‘And he made it better.’ The confession stung. ‘He made the pain go away, replaced it with other things. I think I became kind of addicted to him, to his abilities. But,’ I looked at Lincoln now, letting out the vulnerability I always tried to keep hidden. He needed to see the truth. ‘The answer is no. And I’m sorry for everything that happened. I’m sorry to you and I’m sorry to him, too.’
Lincoln studied my eyes, gazing at me with nothing short of admiration – which I knew I didn’t deserve – and possibly more.
‘Violet Eden, you have nothing to apologise for,’ he said.