‘But it doesn’t?’
‘No. It doesn’t. My future is already set, and as long as Lincoln is in my life he’s always only a heartbeat away from leaving me. I can’t live like that.’
‘’Cause life as it is, is so grand?’ Steph quipped.
When she saw my face her expression dropped. ‘Sorry, my bad. It’s just I hate to see you two like this. I mean, maybe you’re right but maybe it would be a hundred or two hundred years before anything bad happened. That’s a long stretch of happiness. No humans ever get that.’
I knew she was right, but … ‘You don’t get it, Steph. You can’t.’
‘Oh, but I do, Vi. I was there when Phoenix brought you in a breath away from death. I stood on the other side of the door helpless while he killed you, only to then realise he’d also brought you back to a world without your soulmate. I pulled you out of that shower that had burned your whole body, and then – even after you saved all those children, defeated Lilith, redeemed Phoenix and saved Lincoln – I watched you walk away. You saved everyone but yourself, and I get that you’re scared to let yourself be happy. I get that you’re scared to lose everything, but you’re ignoring what you’ll get in return.’
I looked down, fighting the conflicting emotions running through me and was tempted to just reach in and shut them off. But I didn’t. ‘It’s not that simple.’
‘But it is,’ Steph shot back. ‘Let me ask you this: if you could go back in time would you give up that one perfect night you had with Lincoln?’
I thought of the constant agony I lived in every day because of our souls being ripped apart after they’d been joined that night. And even so, the answer came easily.
‘No.’
Steph’s expression softened. ‘And are you really telling me you’d regret another night like that? Or a thousand?’
I looked up at her, lost. ‘I … I have responsibilities. The angels are keeping things from me again and I know it’s all coming to a head. I need to stay focused, and Lincoln will only complicate things more than I can handle.’
‘Bollocks!’ she scoffed. ‘And you know it.’
I quirked an eyebrow. ‘Gray?’
She nodded, seriously. ‘His language really rubs off.’
I sighed. ‘Steph, I don’t even know who that guy was back there. He was so …’
‘Hot?’ Steph laughed. ‘Actually, he looked a lot like a guy on a mission. One who has definitely considered the risks and formed a plan of attack. Gotta admit, it’s refreshing. He’s coming after you and let’s face it, Vi, you might’ve managed to avoid him for the past two years but now you’re face to face … any woman would be lost with the likes of him hunting them down.’
‘Why do you think I left the city before he woke up?’ I asked, feeling a small but sad smirk form. ‘And should I pass that titbit on to Salvatore?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please! I’m getting married, not going deaf, dumb and blind.’
‘It was definitely a new side to him,’ I mused.
‘Or maybe it’s finally the honest version, without all the hang-ups. Everything is finally out in the open. I can’t help but wonder what the honest version of you might be like, too.’
It was my turn to roll my eyes. ‘I don’t have that luxury any more.’ Being with Lincoln involved a set of consequences I simply couldn’t abide by.
‘Oh, stop being a martyr!’ Steph said, stealing my description of Lincoln yesterday, along with the croissant I was still holding, before she spun and stormed down the corridor as I watched after her, blinking.
The process of passing security to gain access to the infirmary took considerably longer without Steph to clear the way. When I finally walked into the medical rooms I wasn’t surprised to find Chloe’s empty. I’d managed to fully heal her yesterday and imagined they’d released her to return to her own room. It didn’t mean a wasted trip, however, especially considering Chloe wasn’t the reason for my visit.
I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door to Nyla’s room. The moment Rainer opened the door she caught me off-guard, pulling me into a tight embrace. ‘It really is good to see you,’ she said, squeezing me one more time before letting me go. ‘You’ve become something of an elusive legend around here. Especially with the children telling their stories of how your rescued them and parted walls of fire.’
‘Don’t believe everything you hear, Rainer. Kids embellish,’ I said moving towards the bed where Nyla slept.