He wrapped me in his arms as we waited. I felt so safe when I was with him. The rest of my life and the people in it were messy and I didn’t know what or who to trust. But when it came to him, I was sure.
The bus turned up five minutes later and we got on, sitting near the back. Noah picked my legs up and put them over his, rubbing circles on my knee the way he did with my knuckles.
“You know for someone who’s never had a girlfriend before you’re pretty pro at it.”
He smiled. “You make it easy.”
I think my heart actually melted into a puddle. For the rest of the ride, we sat in perfect, comfortable silence.
“So, why are we here?” he asked as we got off the bus on the opposite side to the high streets and shops.
“I have an appointment.”
“I’m not a mind reader, babe, I’m going to need more than that.” He slung his arm over my shoulder as we walked along the outskirts of town.
It was mid-May and it’d just started to warm up. Fresh green leaves blossomed on the trees and colourful flowers popped out of the ground. I loved spring. But then I found at least five things I loved about every season. Noah still held me as close to him as he did through the end of winter.
“Well, my plan to write down what I see when I’m asleep isn’t working.”
He gave me a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t think so, you’ve not mentioned it at all.”
“It was frustrating. But I think I’ve found someone, she’s a therapist, Dr Pain.”
“Come on!” He laughed.
“Would be funnier if she were a doctor and not a therapist.”
She was more of a hypnotist, but I thought telling Noah that would make him think I was totally crazy. I wasn’t crazy. I was desperate.
“Ah, your therapist. Do I drive you insane?”
“Yes, but that’s not why I’m going to see her. I’m trying to get my memory back, as I might’ve mentioned once or twice before, so I can figure out if those weird dreams are real or not.”
“I know, I’m only joking. Do you think she’s going to tell you if they’re real or not?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’m hoping she can help with.” At this point I knew the fire and Evelyn were real, I dreamt of them the most. The rest I wasn’t sure about.
“Well, it seems like a good idea. I think you should do whatever it takes to remember, if that is what you want, but why the secrecy?”
I stopped walking, forcing Noah to as well. The warm breeze blew his short light brown hair. His eyes looked even bluer in direct sunlight. I was lucky to have him. We’d not been together all that long but I trusted him, relied on him, and he never let me down. I should’ve told him last week when I made the appointment. I owed him that.
“I’m sorry. My parents and Jeremy don’t like talking about it. I can understand that, it’s a tough time for them to revisit. I didn’t want to tell anyone and have them talk me out of it.”
Frowning deeply, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. “You never have to keep anything from me. No matter what you want to do – if it’s bathing in baked beans – I’ll be right behind you. On the outside of the bath, but I’ll be there. I don’t want any secrets, Scarlett. I want to know everything about you.”
“Every couple has secrets.”
He blinked twice before replying, “Not us.”
“You have secrets.”
“You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you,” he said.
“Why haven’t you tried getting in my pants yet?”
It bothered me. Now I so wasn’t ready for that yet but I still wanted him to want me in that way. It was stupid and a bit irrational. He knew I didn’t want to yet but here I was questioning why he hadn’t tried.
He arched his eyebrow. “This isn’t temporary for me so I want to do this right. We’re a big deal. Sex means something. It means a lot.”
I felt like I was floating. Smirking, I said, “You still haven’t answered my question.”
His eyes glittered with humour. “You really know how to kill a moment. I haven’t tried anything because you’re not ready. But please let me know the second you are.” He slapped my butt, grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction I was leading us.
I gave Noah the address and we followed the street until we came to 7D.
“Her office is next to KFC,” I said. “Perfect.”
He turned his nose up, not liking the idea of fast food. “You’ll regret eating that rubbish one day.”
“I doubt it, Mr Health Kick.”
Noah pushed the door open and we walked inside. The building was tiny, wedged between KFC and a Post Office. A gold-coated plaque beside the door saying ‘Dr Pain’ was all that gave away what was inside.
“Hello, can I help you?” a plump woman behind a small mahogany desk asked.
“Um, yeah. I’m Scarlett Garner. I have an appointment with Dr Pain at four thirty.”
She looked at her screen and smiled. “Have a seat, fill this form in, and I’ll let her know you’re here.”
I took the sheet of paper and pen. “Thank you.”