There wasn’t a change. Not one that happened naturally that would help. The only change was Evelyn getting up and running off with Jeremy. I kept seeing that one image play over and over. It was the only memory that I knew happened; the rest was what she planted but it couldn’t fool me into linking it to something real.
Pamela ended our session when my time was up, and I could tell she was as deflated as I was, she clearly didn’t like when she couldn’t do anything. It wasn’t going to work. There was nothing there. Maybe if I remembered more, she might be able to help me piece everything back together, but right now all I had was a three-second snippet of Evelyn running with my brother.
“Why don’t you see how things go and if you want to try again give me a call?”
I nodded and faked smiled. “Thank you.”
Noah stood up as I walked back into reception. He saw my expression and his face fell. “It didn’t go well then?”
Shaking my head, I took his hand and led him outside, thanking the receptionist as we left. “Didn’t work, nothing happened. I don’t know where to go from here, so can we forget it and walk for a little while before we catch the bus?”
“Of course,” he replied, pulling me tight against his side and kissing the top of my head.
Noah
I SHOVED A bad thought out of my head before I did the same thing Jonathan and Marissa had done years ago and took Scarlett away. Since she got home from the hospital, Dad had been agonising over a decision to tell Donald and Fiona about the accident or not.
Dad tapped his fingertips on his desk and peered up at me. “Do you know what you are going to do yet?” I asked anxiously.
“I believe so. When Donald calls tonight, I plan to tell them about the car accident. I do wonder if this will make them move faster, though.”
I swallowed audibly. “Right.”
“She could have been killed and if she had… Well, I’m just saying I think they will want to get her to Ireland as soon as they can, fearing something else could happen at any minute.”
I rubbed my jaw and closed my eyes. I needed longer. It couldn’t happen soon. She had so much left to do; it was unfair. Even though we’d spent almost all of our free time together, texting or on the phone, I didn’t know her enough. I didn’t know what it was like to wake up beside her. I didn’t expect to be allowed to sleep beside her with the short time we’d have together, but I still wanted it.
“They can’t,” I said. “Not by too much anyway.”
“Noah, they can do what they want if they think it is in our best interest.”
“Yes, I know that, but I mean that her parents probably aren’t going to let her out of their sight for a while, she’s recovering and I don’t know if she would willingly come with me yet. I don’t think risking taking her without her permission would be a good idea. How would we get her on the ferry? She would cause a scene.”
I watched Dad’s frown subside as he absorbed what I’d said. Come on, Dad, side with me.
“I agree,” he finally said. “When I speak to them, I will let them know our fears but you know as well as I that the decision on this one is theirs. Being her parents grants them a much larger claim over her than the rest of us.”
“I’m sure they will see continuing with the original plan is the best idea. They don’t want this to go wrong either and it’s already so dangerous.”
He nodded once. “I’m sure you are right.”
Thank you.
“Do you need me any longer?”
“Are you planning on visiting Scarlett?” he asked.
“I am.”
He tilted his head towards the door. “Send our wishes.”
“Will do,” I replied, leaving his office and heading straight out of the door.
Walking to Scarlett’s, I rubbed the ache between my eyes. I felt like I was living with a constant headache and I hated it. My mind was constantly buzzing. I didn’t know what to do, what was right. I just wanted it to stop.
My breathing was heavy but I couldn’t get enough oxygen and felt like I was going to collapse. I wasn’t too proud to admit that I was lost, scared and needed help. There was no one to help or guide me, though. I had no one to talk to so I just had to fight my way through it.
Scarlett was on my mind constantly. The relief I felt when I found out she was alright was stronger than anything I’d felt before. She had gotten beneath my skin already. I was terrified that she was the one for me. We were taught there was one person, the other half of yourself, out there. Scarlett was mine, how could she not be when I already felt this strongly about her?
But what it came down to was this; I couldn’t turn my back on everything I had ever known. Eternal Light was my whole life, it flowed through my veins, it was what made me who I was, and every member was family. I couldn’t betray that. I didn’t even know how to.
When I fell asleep, it was restless, and I had a hard time keeping Scarlett off my mind for very long. I hated every single part of being away from the safety of my community, and I loved and hated falling for her in equal measures.