Love Notes

Chapter 23-Charlie



I’m desperately trying to keep my home life separate from my school life.

Home sucks. My dad continually talks down to me and my mom sits idly by, letting it happen. Same shit, different day. I still have to watch myself and I wait for the other shoe to drop. Because it will, it always does. It’s like walking on egg shells.

My dad made the point of saying, I was just waiting to get my heart broken, and that he would be there to tell me, ‘I told you so’.

Nice, huh? This isn’t surprising, coming from him.

When I'm at school, I feel like a completely different person. That’s the only time I feel free. It’s a completely new feeling, something that I’m unaccustomed to.

My new happiness stems from Maverick. It still seems like a dream, and I feel as if I’m flying on cloud nine.

School’s been so much more enjoyable with Maverick there. He’s attentive and seems to want to touch me when we’re together, always holding my hand. I’ve never been a touchy- feely person. Probably because my parents have never shown any affection. But with him, I don’t mind.

Tori is amazing, and as much as I didn’t want to move here, there’s not a day that goes by, that I’m not grateful for her. She’s like an enigma. Tori isn’t one of the girls who gets jealous if you have a boyfriend and doesn’t act any different around us.

Will’s hanging out with us now. He’s a cool guy and together they’re hysterical together. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a friend that you’ve known almost your whole life and grow up with them. Tori still seems a little off with Will around. I tried talking to her about it, but she just shrugs it off, saying it’s fine. She’s conversing with him a little, but keeps it to a minimum. It’s an improvement at least.

Tonight, I get to cheer on my guy. I’m attending Maverick’s first away football game.

The energy at school is contagious. We have a pep rally scheduled for this afternoon, since we’re playing our rivals. This isn’t the first game of Maverick’s I’ve attended, it’s just the first away game. I know, I don’t get out much.

Of course, Tori and I are sitting together, and we’ll ride to the game too. Maverick decided to drive his car to the game instead of riding the bus, so I’ll be riding home with him. We’ve made plans for afterwards, which makes it even more exciting.

The moment they call the seniors into the gym, I look for Tori to be waiting at my locker. As soon as she sees me, she loops her arm through mine and that’s how we walk in.

We grab a spot on the bleachers close enough where Maverick will see us, and we wait. She nudges my shoulder with hers, “Are you excited about tonight?” All I can respond with is a smile and nudge her back. Changing the subject, I take the chance and go there. To the unspoken elephant, always in the room.

“So, I see that you and Will have been talking some.”

Tori turns head at me and snaps, “Don’t even go there Charlie. Not tonight. I like Will just fine and he’s a nice guy. He’s just not for me. So drop it.”

Her voice then softens, “Please.”

I drop it. I made the attempt and now it’s dead in the water. Maybe one day she’ll trust me enough to talk about it.

All of a sudden the band starts playing and the crowd goes wild. As the class president starts to speak, automatically hushing the crowd, they start to announce the players.

Maverick’s the first to be announced, since he’s the Captain. He runs in to take his spot, and everyone is cheering and going crazy. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, making a huge spectacle of myself and I don’t care. The moment he’s in his designated area, I see his eyes search the crowd. My heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest, because I know he’s looking for me. The moment he sees me, we share a look. A look that says so much. We share an unspoken message between us. I can’t imagine not having him in my life, ever.

The moment they call Will, his co-captain, he starts whooping and hollering, acting like such a guy. I laugh, watching them act like fools together.

I glance at Tori, just for shits sake, to see if there’s a reaction from her. She seems lost in thought and isn’t paying any attention to me whatsoever. She’s watching Will move from one place of the gym to the other until he reaches his place beside Maverick. I can see a side view of her face and her eyes look misty. I let her be, because she obviously doesn’t want me to know a thing, which hurts a little.

As soon as the pep rally is over, everyone is dismissed to leave. My stomach in complete knots. Not from being scared or nervous, but just from pure excitement.

Tori and I hop into her car and drive to our rival school. “Now, you know we have to find a place to sit where Maverick will be able to spot you. He’ll want to find you out on the field, prior to the game starting.”

I just look at her as if to say, “How do you even know this?” But she beats me to the punch, like always. “What? I know these things. Trust me.”

We park the car and she leads me to the stadium, looking for the perfect seat. The place is already crowded and the energy is crazy in this place. I’ve never been to a school that takes football so seriously.

Tori grabs my arm over to a tight place, but will fit the two of us and where we’re on ground level, easily to be spotted by Maverick. Another reason to love Tori, she’s considerate of others.

Just as the game is about to begin, the announcer starts to announce the other team, meaning ours. Our team flies through the homemade sign the cheerleaders are holding up and I see a football player making his way over to us. I can’t tell who it is from far away, but the moment he gets closer there’s no mistaking it.

As Maverick nears, my heart speeds up. As soon as he reaches me, he grabs my hand pulling me up to a standing position. “Couldn’t start my game before getting a good luck kiss from my girl.”

I’m in awe, as well as shock. But I begin to smile, because this is Maverick. This is who he is. This is my Maverick, that loves me and seems proud to be with me.

He grabs me around the waist and plants a smoldering kiss on my lips and whispers, “I love you babe and I’m so glad you’re here!”

I hear his team cat calling at him, and see Will in the distance laughing and screaming at Maverick to get his pansy ass over there, so they can start the game already. All the while laughing, Maverick winks at me and turns and runs back to his team.

Tori is laughing, I’m sure some of it has to do with the look on my face.

“That boy is whipped, you know that, right Charlie?”

I think I have a permanent grin plastered on my face that I don’t think will ever go away. At least I hope it won’t. Some things are too good to be true. Al least this is how it’s been in my experience.

Needless to say, we win our game.



The moment I see a showered Maverick headed our way, I get excited all over again. I see Will with him looking directly at Tori. She looks as if she’s avoiding any and all eye contact with him.

Maverick pulls me to him and swings me around. Hugging and snuggling my neck, “I’m so glad you’re here Charlie. All I had to do was look over and see you and I just felt better, stronger even. Maybe you’re my good luck charm.”

Of course, to myself I think, luck? Nope, don’t think so, I’m far from lucky.

“Ready to go? I have something planned for us, it’s a surprise.” Maverick looks suspicious, likes he’s up to something.

I turn to Tori and give her a hug. I whisper to her, “Thanks for today.” I don’t have to explain, she knows what I mean.

I walk over to Will and give him a hug and say only this, “She feels.” He looks surprised and a little startled at first, but then I think he gets it as he hugs me back. I’m probably over stepping my boundaries, no, I know I am, but I can’t help myself. She’s my friend, my best friend and I want her happy.

I watch her walk to her car, making sure she makes it safely inside before we turn to leave only to see Will doing the same exact thing.

“So, where are you taking me?” I ask. The only answer I receive is a laugh and then a, “You’ll see.”

“You know I hate surprises, right?” He looks at me with concern, “Really?”

Then I realize I’ve never had a surprise before, or been surprised for that matter. “Actually, I’ve never had anyone surprise me with anything before, now that I think about it.”

He just looks at me, “Well then, we will need to rectify this, because you definitely deserve surprises.”

We sit in silence the rest of the way, not uncomfortable, far from it. I just think about him and about us and then my mind drifts to home. How different I am when I’m at home and from when I’m with Maverick. Like night and day.

“Okay, we’re here.” I glance around and notice that we’re at his favorite spot at the lake. Even better, I see a canopy set up with a lantern hanging from it. Sitting underneath, is a blanket and basket.

I turn and look at him, “When did you have the chance to do this?” He looks at me mischievously, “I’ve my ways, don’t you worry.”

He gets out and comes around to my door and opens it. He leads me to the blanket and we sit down.

“So you know Charlie, the choir program is around homecoming, right?”

Truth be told, I never gave it much thought. I vaguely remember it being discussed, but considering I haven’t ever been to a dance before or been invited to one, it doesn’t surprise me.

He nervously looks at me. “I would really, really love it, if you would go with me.”

A feeling of surprise, but then giddiness takes over. There’s no thinking on my part. I throw my arms around his neck and start kissing him, while he’s chuckling at me. In between laughing he asks, “Is that a yes?”

I spit out a yes and resume kissing him and his laughter dies away leaving him moaning into my mouth.

How do you tell someone that you love them, without words? You show them, right? At least that’s what my brain is telling me. My heart starts to hammer in to my chest. I want to show him how much he means to me and I’m nervous as hell.

I slowly pull back and look at him. His ocean blue eyes and his beautiful face and see only love for me, plainly written across his face. This guy that made me feel for the first time in my life, loves me.

“I love you.” I whisper.

I don’t give him a chance to respond back, because I resume kissing him. I start to unbutton his shirt just wanting to finally feel his chest and strong arms. I assume he’s going to stop me, but he doesn’t. He lets me, allowing me to take control.

One sleeve slides off and then the other. I pull back, wanting to see him. I start my appraisal from the chest, that’s ripped, to his strong muscular arms. Not a trace of cockiness is visible, only desire for me. Which is a feeling, I’m still trying to wrap my brain around.

He’s perfect. I place my hands on his chest and move them down feeling the ridges of his muscles and feel them ripple from my touch and bring them back up, feeling his muscled arms. I hear him sigh, like my touch is what he craves. I gently pull away and start to unbutton my shirt, having never done this before. I want to share this with him. “Charlie, you don’t have too.” I look up at him, “I know Mav, but I want to share this with you.”

He looks at me intently, watching my every move. I carefully pull my shirt from the bottom of the hem and up over my head. My eyes never leaving his, until the shirt is pulled completely off. The minute it’s gone, I feel exposed, but not in a bad way. Yes, I’m nervous and I can’t help but look down at the ground afraid that he will hate what he sees. “Charlie, look at me.” he says softly.

I came this far. I breathe out a heavy sigh and look up, directly into his eyes. There, I see no disgust, only pure heat. Heat for me.

“Charlie, you’re so beautiful, more than I ever imagined.”

If it’s at all possible, I love him even more.

He gingerly comes closer and starts to kiss me, ever so softly. He kisses me like I’m a precious thing and breakable. We slowly lay on the blanket, on our side and laying chest to test, kissing sweetly and lightly touching. The feel of his skin on me is overwhelming. His hand running up and down, from my neck down to my wrist, back up to my shoulder and circling my back. I can tell he’s being careful with me, not wanting to push things too far.

The things his hands are doing to my body, is enough to send my brain into over drive and all he’s doing, is touching my arms and back.

Deciding to only feel and not think, I start to move his hand to my breast. I know I’m pushing him, but I want, no, I need his touch. This is the first physical experience I’ve ever had in my life. Feeling wanted and loved. I crave it. He lets me place it on me, as he starts to slowly and carefully touch me. Kissing him and this feel of him on me, makes me start kissing him harder. All of a sudden he leans up and hovers over me, careful to keep his weight off me and starts kissing me frantically. Like he’d die without me. I take one arm and wrap it around his neck and yank him down closer, skin to skin with him above me. I feel a bulge pressing into my stomach and it makes me even hotter, knowing that he wants me as much as I want him.

He starts to move his kisses from my mouth, down to my neck and then even lower. He places small tantalizing kisses to my chest and down on my sternum and then on top of each breast. My breathing is becoming more erratic the lower he goes. The kisses continue down my stomach. Small, sweet kisses that are full of want.

All of a sudden he pulls back and stops kissing me, panting heavily. “Charlie, the things you do and make me feel. You drive me crazy! I don’t want to move too quickly and I want us to take our time.”

I lay there, with what I’m sure, is a beat red face, full of embarrassment. There’s so much I want to do with him and show him how I feel. But on the ground, at the lake, is certainly not the place. I can’t believe I did that, I chastise myself.

“You know I want you, shit, you can feel how much I want ‘you’ . He says with embarrassment. “Don’t ever question that.” He takes his hand and starts to run it along my arm and up, around my neck. Feeling me. He takes a strand of my hair in between his fingers, rubbing it and looks me directly in the eyes. “I love you so damn much Charlie.”

I can’t ever get enough of hearing those words from him. “I love you too Mav.” I whisper back.

“I love you and you don’t have to prove it to me, ever. I need you to know that. I can feel it, in here.” He takes my hand and places it on his bare, warm chest directly where his heart is. His heart is beating so fast and knowing I did this to him, makes me feel just a little better.

He slowly slides away and starts to put his shirt back on. I grab mine and throw it back on as well, knowing this is done for the night. As if sensing my thoughts, Maverick says, “Oh, Charlie, we aren’t done kissing tonight, not by a long shot.”

And just like that, my mind is eased. How he knew exactly what to say, is beyond me. But he does. He knows me, maybe better than I actually know myself.

How this guy, this incredibly sweet and honorable guy loves me, I will never know. But he does.

We spend the rest of our evening eating, talking, laughing and stealing kisses here and there.

To my happiness he kept his promise. He kissed me until my lips were raw and I loved every minute of it.