Love Notes

Chapter 15-Charlie



After class Maverick says a quick good bye and high tails it out the door. He has a bit of a mischievous look about him. I shrug it off, and don’t think much more about it.

Tori and I start walking to the parking lot discussing music choices. It cracks me up, because Tori is all about putting Maverick in an uncomfortable situation.

“I can’t believe he said we could pick anything. Is he crazy? Does he not know what we are capable of and what we could make him sing? Crap, if he can even sing at all? Think about it. Big bad Maverick up there on that stage singing–with us. Anything we choose.”

Tori can’t seem to help herself and just bursts out laughing. She has such a loud and infectious laugh that I can’t help but join her. “Man he must have it bad for you girl, that’s all I can say.” Tori says.

I glance over at her shyly. “This is very new for me. I have never been in this situation and I can’t believe of all people he wants to date me.”

“Awww, so he asked you finally, huh? How do you feel about that?”

“I like him, I really do but I’m worried. Like if he gets to know me he may not like me–at all. Then I've put myself out there only to be crushed and have my heart broken. I don’t think I can handle that. I just don’t think he will like what he discovers if he gets to know me.” I stop walking and just stand there and look at Tori. I can see the wheels turning in her head.

“First of all when you say shit like that, it pisses me off. It’s also a dig against me. Like I don’t have good taste when picking out my friends. I don’t like stupid people. I like you and I knew I would, the first time we talked. I’m not sure why you don’t think people aren’t going to like you when they get to know you. Here is what I know, and hear me out because I am not going to say this again. This may be harsh, but I’m always going to be honest and tell you exactly how it is, 'cause that’s me and you deserve that. Plus, that’s how I roll and I will always give it to you straight. She peers at me before questioning, Got it?”

At this point all I can do is nod my head that I get it. Man this chick means business when she gets all riled up. Mental note. Never–piss–off–Tori–ever.

“First off, you are an amazing person. You’re smart, pretty and you don’t even know it, which makes you even prettier in my opinion. You’re absolutely not fat, so please get that out of your head. You actually have a body, which most girls would kill for. I’m as flat in the boob area as the Sahara desert and would love to have something up there, at least a bra could hold up. Actually Charlie, if I swung that way, I would be on you like white on rice. You would so be my type.” Of course, at this point she’s laughing and I know we’re good. Tori laughing, is always a good sign.

“Har, har Tori. Okay so last time, promise. You really think he likes me and likes what he sees?”

“Yep, sure do sugar plum. He looks at you like a man looks at a steak. Or maybe like a lion looks at a gazelle. Or how a snake looks at a mouse. I could go on and on you know.”

“So you're saying, he wants to eat me for dinner?” I can’t help but start laughing.

“Okay, well maybe those weren’t the best descriptions,” she replies with a snort. Grinning, she says, “He watches everything you do. It’s so sweet. Seriously Charlie, he lights up when he sees you. The point is that the boy is into you, and I don’t think you're going to have a choice on whether or not you want him to catch you or not. He will, because I also see how you look at him. It’s not just his looks that pull you in is it?” Tori asks.

Now, I don’t have to think about this long and hard, because she’s right. There is just something about him that draws me in. In just the small amount of time, I know he is kind, he’s sweet and he cares. Why, I don’t know, but I don’t want to over analyze it. Am I afraid of getting hurt? Yep, in a heartbeat. Am I completely scared about how my dad will react and what he will say? Sure, but something tells me that this will be all worth it. All of these facets will make it all worth it. I think the saying goes, anything worth having is always hard but worth it the end? Or at least something along those lines.

“Yeah, Tori I do, a lot, and it scares the shit out of me, to be honest.”

Tori links her arm through mine, as we start to walk to the parking lot. “Good, because I don’t want to see Maverick hurt either. He’s always been a good guy. Not like some of these jocks you see around here who are so full of themselves. That also means you have genuine feelings. Scared is a good thing. Promise.”

“While we are on the subject, how about Will? He seems to be in to you and to be one of the good guys. I also heard that you guys went on a date once? What’s the story there?”

Her whole body stiffens, which I can feel with her arm looped through mine. “We went out once, and it didn’t work. I mean, Will is a great guy, but he’s just not for me. Besides, we are talking about you Charlie, not me,” Tori replies.

I can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I’m not going to push it. Not to say I’m not curious, because I sure as hell am. I can tell there’s more to the story, but I’m just not one to push. I’m sure she will tell me when she’s ready.

I steer the conversation quickly away, “So how about you call me tonight and we discuss music choices?”

At this she gets excited. “Yeah and how we can embarrass Maverick. Just think what we could make him do Charlie.”

“You’re a mess girl! I’ll talk to you later.” I turn away from Tori to head in the direction of my Jeep. As I near it, I see something sitting on the windshield. The closer I get the more it resembles a rose. As soon as I reach the Jeep, I spot it clearly and wrapped around it like a scroll is a note. It’s not a red rose, it's a yellow rose with red tips. It’s beautiful, and it smells so sweet. I unwrap the note from the rose careful not to rip it on the thorns and open it up.

Dear Charlie,

I wanted to leave you with something to think about. The yellow rose is a symbol of friendship, where we are starting. However, the red around the tips of the petals means that I have feelings that I would like to see grow into more. Please remember our talk from earlier. I meant every damn word.

Your friend, but hopefully not for much longer,

Mav

Wow, is all I can think at the moment. I am completely blown away and surprised beyond belief. I open Lexie's door, get in and turn her on. As soon as I see the time on the dash, my happiness shoots right out of the window. I realize how late I am and in how much trouble I’m going to be. Plus, I have the rose in hand, which is going to bring questions from my parents. I decide to hide the note and play the rest by ear. I make my way as quickly as I can hopefully without getting pulled over. Getting a ticket and being in even more trouble seems to be my middle name here lately.

As soon as I pull in to the drive-way, I see my dad is home. I can’t help the “shit” that escapes my lips. I head to the front door, and I hear my parents talking rather loudly and then I hear my name. Yep, I’m in trouble–again. Maybe I can get out of this.

I make my way into the living room where the voices are coming from. My parents spot me, and my mom immediately stands up and heads in my direction with a fake smile plastered across her face and then ducks her head as she makes her departure.

“Well, gotta run. I need a few more things from the grocery store for dinner. Be back soon.”

Traitor.

Seriously, she has to know what’s about to go down and the sounds of the front door closing behind her only bring silence. It’s maddening.

“Where were you, and why didn’t you come straight home? Did I not tell you to come straight home?”

As I’m about to answer, he notices the rose I’m holding in my hand.

“Where did the flower come from?” he demands.

I quickly gather my wits and respond with. “We have a program at school and I stayed after to discuss it with the Choir teacher. As far as the rose goes, it was left on the Jeep.”

My dad gets a very cynical look on his face and all I know is that my soul is about to receive a massive beat down. I’ve been through this too many times to not know by now. I am dreading the onslaught of rage that he is fixing to bestow upon me.

“Who would give you a flower? This person must be blind, that’s all I can figure. Look at what you are wearing? No girl would be such a fool, than to be dressed in those clothes. Not to mention I’m sure you don’t even come close to being a pretty girl in his eyes. I know what this is–it’s a prank and you are the butt of the joke.”

While this may be the normal routine at my house, it still hurts. Someone who hasn't experienced what I have might think I could just “buck” up and get over it. I can just hear them now, “You’ve been through this your whole life just get over it.” However, it's not as easy as one might think. Yes, this is normal practice at my home in regards to comments from my dad about my appearance. But you never become completely numb to it. It’s impossible. I never like dad to see me cry, but his words send me very close to the edge, especially with bringing up his view that the rose could have been a joke. For just a little while I got to feel happy. That someone actually liked me, for me.

“Well Charlie, I’ve had enough at looking at you. Get to your room and do your homework until dinner is ready. Since it was school related I will let you off for being late home this time. But that’s it.”

I turn around and walk into the kitchen to grab a glass. He may think the rose was a joke but deep down I know it wasn't. It means something to me. I quickly grab the glass fill it with tap water and walk to my bedroom. I set the glass on my nightstand and place my beautiful rose in it. I grab my book bag, pull my iPod out of it and place into the player. And then I cry.