Chapter 29
After I walked home from school on Friday I felt like baking to keep my mind off things, especially the way Reece had been ignoring me. He didn’t call during the week and he didn’t acknowledge my presence at lunch. He wasn’t being rude per se but he was sitting at another table and Amber was, quite predictably, with him. I couldn’t be with him romantically but was I losing his friendship too? Was that the price of my honesty?
I opened a cabinet and pulled out one of Anne’s cookbooks. I flipped through the pages until I spotted a recipe for blackberry cobbler. I checked the freezer to make sure she had some frozen blackberries and vanilla ice cream and then I set out to gather the other ingredients. As I measured the flour I found myself dusted in it as well. I was making a mess and yet the real mess was the one I was making of my life.
After placing the casserole dish in the oven I began cleaning up. I took the ice cream out of the freezer and scooped out a spoonful. I was slowly devouring it when I heard the doorbell. I had flour streaks on my black shirt and as much as I tried wiping it off, some remained. Holding the spoon and a mouthful of ice cream, I went to open the door. Standing there in his dark brown jacket was Reece. His eyes missed nothing and I knew I couldn’t have been imagining his contained amusement as he looked down at me.
“Would you like to come in?” I asked as I held the door open and licked the spoon clean.
He didn’t move.
“I have somewhere to be,” he responded before clearing his throat. “Since I was in the area I wanted to stop by and see you.”
I let go of the door and moved as Reece stepped inside and glanced around. “Baking something?” he asked. “It smells great.”
“Just a cobbler,” I clarified.
“Actually, I stopped by to ask if you were busy tonight. I thought we could go out and do something.”
I stood there in a pregnant pause. I found myself wanting to say yes but his timing couldn’t be worse.
“I’m sorry Reece, I already made plans.” I summoned a smile for him. “Another time?”
I tried not to react to his disappointment. He looked like he had more to say but he shook his head in defeat and trudged down the porch steps to his waiting truck. I went to the window to watch him leave but he was still sitting there. His head was resting on his fist while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. I wanted to go to him, I wanted to comfort him--as well as myself--but I remained frozen in place. I heard him rev his engine and I backed away from the window. I walked into the kitchen and placed the spoon in the sink. I heard him cut the engine. Moments later I heard another knock. Confused, and way too eager, I rushed to the door and when I opened it, he came in authoritatively and put his arm around my waist and pulled me into the living room before I could object. Gripping me tight, his face was full of fury.
“I want one more thing from you and I want it willingly.”
Seeing that I wasn’t resisting, he put the full weight of his body on mine and we fell on the couch. His lips engaged mine and his fingers raked through my hair until he was pulling it. I held onto his back and pulled him tighter and there we were, locked in mutual fervor. And all too soon he stopped. He looked down at me and lifted his weight off me. Beads of perspiration were forming on his face and I was out of breath but it wasn’t enough. All I knew in that moment was how good he felt, how great he tasted and how it couldn’t be over before it even began. I touched my lips with my fingers and once he had his fill of looking me over, he helped me stand.
“I did that for me but I wanted to leave you with the same memory.” He let go of my hand and grinned devilishly. “I’ll always be here for you but there are some things you have to figure out for yourself.” With that he left, leaving me standing there still touching my lips and feeling less confusion than before. He wasn’t a friend and couldn’t be a friend because I was in love with him. I had a chance to say yes, that I would be his significant other and I wasted it. What was it that my dad had said to me just a year before? “Don’t waste your chances – there are so few of them.”