Chapter 27
After seeing Amber off the next day I showered and lounged around the house in my pajamas. I was chilled through and the addition of a robe did little to warm me up. Anne insisted on taking my temperature and seeing that it was elevated she told me to take it easy and easy meant going back to bed. Instead, I curled up on the couch and attempted to read. Reece had called but Anne told him I wasn’t feeling well and that I would talk to him later. The chills came and Anne piled on more blankets as I shivered beneath them. She turned on the fire and brought me hot tea. With the fire roaring, its warmth washed over me and I fell asleep with one arm hanging off the couch. Indistinctly, I felt someone hunker down next to me. As I worked on opening my eyes I heard a chuckle near my ear and Anne from a distance. “Really Reece, you shouldn’t have come by like this. Suppose you get sick too?”
“I won’t stay long Anne; I just wanted to bring her something.”
“That was very thoughtful of you but keep it short. She needs to rest if she’s going to go back to school.”
I turned on my side and brushed a clump of hair out of my face. When my vision cleared I saw Reece sitting next to me with a bag in his hand and a cup in the other. He handed it to me, “Chai, just like you like it.” He placed the bag on the coffee table and removed a scone. He placed it on a large napkin and gave it to me. “Orange, I hope you like it.”
As I took the scone and said thank you, he chuckled again and dropped his head.
“What are you laughing at?” I asked as I bit into the scone.
“Birds could make a nest in that,” he said as he pointed to my hair. My eyes widened as I could only imagine what I looked like. I patted my head and groaned as I felt the tangles. I had never removed the clip…
“I wish I had a camera,” he continued to joke.
“Not funny,” I laughed as I attempted to smooth my hair and readjust the clip.
“I see your appetite hasn’t been affected. That’s a good sign.”
“Are you kidding? Chai tea and scones? A slight fever isn’t going to ruin my appetite.”
“And you have a good one,” Reece teased as humor danced in his green eyes.
I took another bite and excused myself to brush the mess that was my hair. Feeling only a pony tail would do I secured it with a band and smoothed my eyebrows into place. When I walked into the living room Reece had pulled a chair closer to the couch and he was petting Pandora. Spotting me, he smiled. “Come on, I liked the other style better.”
Rolling my eyes playfully I climbed back under the blankets and began drinking my tea.
“Perfect,” I stated with contentment. “Can you imagine not being able to taste anything? Eating is one of the great pleasures in life.”
“One of the greatest,” Reece laughed. He eyed me flirtatiously.
I blushed.
“I know you’re not going there Reece Anderson,” I warned.
“Only with you,” he retorted, causing me to very nearly spit the tea from my mouth.
While I dabbed my lips with a napkin I averted his gaze. His tone turned serious. “Look at me.”
I raised my eyes to meet his. Satisfied that he had my attention he continued. “I know I’m not that impressive. Right now I have little to offer you. I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do about me but I know how I feel and the more I try to control it, the more it gets away from me.”
Blown away by his raw candor I pulled a blanket tight around me and softened my face as I studied his. He was resting his elbows on his knees and he was looking at me intently, waiting…
“Reece,” I began. “You never knew my dad…he would have considered himself ‘nothing’ and yet he was everything…to my mother and to me. It’s not the stuff that defines you. It’s about how you make someone feel.”
I averted my eyes briefly as my thoughts drifted to my dad. “It really is that simple.”
Reece sighed with hurt radiating from his voice. “You know, it’s not hard to love someone who doesn’t love you back.”
Quizzically, I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
He clasped his hands together and said with conviction, “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. Even while knowing that you seemed attached to someone else or were thinking about someone else, I couldn’t help my feelings for you.”
Stunned, I pulled my legs closer to my chest and looked down. Did I even have the words that could do his justice?
“That’s not love though. That is interest, maybe even infatuation, but not love-”
He interrupted me, anger clouding his words, “Don’t tell me how I feel.”
I rested my head on my knees before looking at him. “I care about you Reece, I do. I just don’t know if I’m capable of that kind of love.”
Reece leaned forward and tilted his head to the side as his face grew grave with intent. “You’re lying.”
I bristled at the truth in his accusation.
“You can’t please everybody,” he went on. “And you’re definitely not pleasing yourself.”
I stood up, causing Reece to stand as well. I turned to face the fire, pulling the blanket tighter around me. I didn’t want to see his face when I spoke my thoughts.
“When I’m with you I feel safe and happy. When I’m with him I feel I’m with someone I can relate to. That’s not fair to either of you. And you…you’re so blind. You have had something great in your life for so long you may not even realize it anymore.”
The silence between us was brief but without strain or awkwardness. When Reece spoke, he was closer than before.
“You’re referring to Amber, aren’t you?” He didn’t wait for me to reply.
“I could never take so great a friend for granted, not ever. I love Amber but the feeling is platonic. I’m comfortable with her but with you I feel a rush and I think about you when I’m not even with you. If I try to stop, the thoughts come on even stronger. Even if I never knew you, and I can’t imagine that now, I can’t see myself getting together with Amber.”
I felt tears burning behind my eyes but I willed them to stop. “Excitement fades, then what? I’ve heard that the best love grows from friendship. I don’t want you to pass up a good thing for someone so unworthy of all that you feel.”
“I know a good thing when I see it,” he stated. “I could spend a life time discovering you.”
“You only say that because you don’t really know me-“
“So let me know you,” he interrupted.
I turned to face him. “No. It has to be Amber. I can’t ruin a friendship for something that might not work out.”
Staring down at me Reece clenched his jaw. He grabbed my arms and his grip was forceful, but he lessened it as his stormy eyes drifted to my lips. Inwardly I warned him not to do it.
“I’m sick you know,” I said.
A grin played at the corner of his lips. He knew exactly what I was thinking. He pulled me close and tucked my head beneath his chin and much too soon he let go and with it went the feeling of belonging.
“I’m not giving up,” he warned as he began walking to the foyer. He turned before opening the door. He smiled as he looked me over. I knew what he was thinking, that I was flushed, that I was left colder than before--colder without him--and that what I really wanted was to be with him. Soberly, I knew that was impossible. For me to be with him I would have to hurt my closest friend. It was a choice I wasn’t strong enough to make. I remembered what I told Amber and I would have to keep my word.