Chapter 31
Haven took my coat and hung it on a burnished burgundy coat rack in the hallway. Lauren came around the corner and gave me a warm and soothing smile. She took me in her frail arms and gave me an embrace. She smelled lightly of gardenia and her fair hair was pulled back in a loose chignon; as always, she was the most elegant woman I had ever laid eyes upon. I could see in her the great beauty she had once been and still was.
She led me into the great room where coral flares gleamed in the fireplace, adding partial warmth to the great space around us. With his arms folded across his chest, Levi was looking out the window and turned to acknowledge us. He looked down at me, nodded, and motioned with his head for Haven to follow him. Haven apologized and excused himself. Lauren led me to the couch and sat down near me. Moments later I felt a light breeze pass behind me as Lacey came around the couch and took a seat across from me. She was wearing a long nightgown and she was barefoot. Her fair hair cascaded down her back in a loose braid and she was carrying Grendel in her arms. The cat seemed to be tolerating her with great annoyance, although he remained still and silent. Lacey greeted me nonetheless.
“You must know by now. How are you handling it?”
“I’m not...” I said. And I wasn’t.
“You’re as we are…” she hissed in a low, teasing voice. “But different.” Giggling, she laid her head back on the chair and let the aggravated cat go free.
“I’m not,” I assured her. “I’m as ordinary as any other girl.”
“You’re a dormant,” she said, sitting up. “That’s rare and anything but ordinary. With you who knows what could happen, but they-“ Lacey gestured to Lauren and to the empty space behind me. “They have a weakness for strays.”
“That’s enough Lacey,” Lauren gently chided. “She didn’t come here to be made uncomfortable. That is impolite and you know better. When she is here, she is our guest and deserves to be treated as such.”
Squirming, I looked around for Haven.
“He’ll be down in a minute,” Lauren informed with a soft, restful voice.
“Look,” I began. “I’ve just recently heard this theory about me but I assure you, nothing has ever happened. It isn’t possible.”
“Almost anything is possible and there is no telling what your offspring could do, especially if you were with one of them,” Lacey explained.
“That doesn’t interest me,” I said flatly.
“Wow, maybe you aren’t one of us,” she said sarcastically.
“Enough,” Lauren remarked.
Sensing a presence and a floral scent, I lifted my hair and swept it over one shoulder. Turning slightly, I saw a dark-haired man standing in the doorway. He was more handsome than any man I had ever seen before. I also recognized him. He had been with Tristan in Gunnison. He was looking at me curiously and held a bunch of white orchids in one hand. He nodded towards Lacey. “Your father wants to have a word with you.”
Lacey rolled her eyes and lifted herself off the chair. “He always does,” she muttered as she walked towards the hallway and disappeared into the darkness.
The dark-haired man came over and leaned down and gave Lauren a gentle kiss on the cheek. She patted the side of his face and smiled at him. Their greeting reminded me of a mother and son but I knew I was looking at Philip. He handed her the orchids and she beamed. She brushed them with her fingertips and put them to her nose. Sighing, she asked him if he could put them in a vase and set them on the large mahogany table. Turning to face me she said, “I hope you’re not uncomfortable dear. You’ll have to excuse Lacey. She’s irritable because she is isolated and doesn’t have an age-mate to talk to.”
“This is a lot for you to digest,” Lauren went on. “I know…I was the same way.”
“Is there a reason,” I began hesitantly. “Why you can’t turn?”
“By what means?” She asked. “That’s unheard of and if it were possible, I wouldn’t. Not the way I am now – old, worn out, a life already lived. I would imagine it’s hard enough to be what they are without having to worry about being old, too. I’m past my prime and what’s more, I’m tired.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Philip drop his hands from arranging the orchids. He had heard and I immediately regretted asking the question. Here he was watching the woman he loved grow old and knowing she would die long before him. I lowered my head and whispered, “I shouldn’t have asked that.”
Lifting my chin Lauren looked me in the eyes. “Don’t worry about him. We’ve talked about this innumerable times. It’s a subject we’re both well versed in.”
Adjusting her shawl she looked at Philip and then to me. “I love them all – they’re my family and I know they will miss me but there are others that will soften the loss.”
“A loss that is without compare,” Philip said heavily. He put the vase on the table and stalked out of the room.
“Death,” Lauren whispered. “It’s seen as unfortunate but when you get to be my age, rest doesn’t seem so bad.”
“For us, yes,” I replied. “But for the ones left behind the pain is overwhelming.”
Lauren gazed at me thoughtfully.
“That’s why there has to be new ones, not necessarily to take the place of, but to alleviate the sting of loss. I worry about Levi and Philip the most; Philip because he chose me as his and once that mark has been made no one else can ever compare. He could search several lifetimes and never find another love like ours, but he has to find comfort somewhere or it’s an existence not worth living. And Levi…he has had companions but has yet to find a life-mate.”
“Maybe he prefers it that way,” Lacey said gaily as she entered the room and stepped into the light. Behind her, from the shadows, stepped Haven. He asked if I wanted something to eat or drink, causing Lauren’s face to drop. She immediately apologized for her forgetfulness but I assured them both that I was fine. Not listening, Haven went into the kitchen and retrieved a glass and filled it with some ice water. Setting it before me he sat down on the other side of me. I picked up the glass, took a sip, and before I could dab a drop that escaped, Haven swept it away with his fingertip. As before, when we were in the car together, I avoided looking at him.
“Ah, I see some tension,” Lacey accused. “Willow, you look a million miles away.”
I felt my cheeks redden. “Do I?”
“Knock it off,” Haven ordered as he gave Lacey the evil eye.
“It’s as if there is an elephant in the room and I can’t stand it,” Lacey protested. “And, dear friend, it looks like you’re the one losing the battle.” Her tone iced over with anger.
“Enough you two,” Lauren interceded. “If you will all excuse me, I feel like retiring for the night.” She carefully stood and laid a kiss on my head before turning to leave.
“Lauren,” I started as she turned to look at me. “I’ve really enjoyed knowing you and I want to thank you for always making me feel welcome.”
Her eyes sparkled. “You’re welcome my dear. I’m here for you and I know that someday, what you seek will be revealed to you and that you will find your place in the world.”
Tender tears began to well up inside me. She blew me a kiss and walked to the stairs, that sweet smile of hers never fading, and as she slowly ascended into the darkness, I kept my eyes on her and said to no one in particular, “She’s remarkable.”
After a brief silence Haven stood and held his hand out to me. “Would you like to see my room?”
“Mine first,” Lacey interrupted. Excitedly, she nudged past Haven and took me by the hand and led me past the couch, into the foyer, and up the stairs, which were dimly lit. Once upstairs, she made a left and took me into the first room. “I don’t get a chance to do this. We don’t receive visitors.” Turning on the light, she stood back to let me observe her private space. Her room wasn’t anything like I expected. It looked more like a room for a 10-year-old girl than a young woman. An elaborate dollhouse stood in a corner and in a small rocking chair sat a weathered porcelain doll with a long white dress, white boots and dark curls. Lacey’s bed was large, covered in off-white satin sheets, and draped by a white canopy. Lacey wasn’t looking at me and reached out and held on to the bed post before gracefully sitting down on the bed. It was as if she wasn’t really talking to me and just speaking aloud.
“I thought maybe you and I could be friends but you can’t force it, can you? Either you connect with someone or you don’t.”
Taken aback by her candor, I remained silent.
For a brief moment Lacey looked aggrieved, but she recovered her thoughts quickly. “You can’t imagine how alone I feel.”
Oh but I can.
I wondered how many others felt that way but would never admit it, and in the quiet that followed I felt I had to say something. I motioned towards the wide, two-story cottage in the corner. “That’s quite the exquisite dollhouse.”
Lacey glanced over at it and slid off the bed. She reached inside the miniature girl’s room and picked up a porcelain doll with blonde curls and a green and white polka dot dress.
“It must seem odd, given my age, and who I am, but I never had a mother and didn’t have a normal upbringing.” Fluffing the dress she looked the doll over before placing her back in the room.
“My dad and Philip designed and built this for me several years ago. I had been melancholic and they had asked me when I had last been happy…That’s when I told them I wanted a mother.”
She placed the doll on a small chair and whispered. “I also told them that their lovers didn’t count.”
She looked at me painfully and I cast my eyes downward.
“My dad, Haven and Philip…they have each other, they’re like brothers, but me…other than Lauren I have no one. What will I do when she’s gone?”
Touched and surprised by her unexpected vulnerability I cautiously reached out to touch her on the arm and she reached up to touch my hand. Through the light fabric of her sleeve, I could feel her strength and I knew that as tough as she was, there was that soft part of her that needed belonging and companionship as much as anyone did.