This Star Won't Go Out

Next me and Mom go eat food and I get an IV put in. OOPS, they missed. Then they do it again. They made it, and I lay down for 10 minutes of a CT scan. After that we go to the Jimmy Fund where they need blood. I had already taken out my IV because it hurt, so they poked me. Later Annette comes in and says they need more blood. Shut up. They poke me again and get blood, and my spot where the IV was starts bleeding. It finally stops and Annette talks to us about stuff. We go home, by which time it is now exactly 5pm. BAH.


I forget what day that was but it sure sucked. :\ The next few days my lungs felt bruised from lying flat for so long. Ay yi yi. Now I must part for sleep, because it beckons me.


Farewell.


Sunday, January 4, 2009


I’ve gotten more into YouTube these past few days/past week. Not like I’ve posted more videos but I’ve found a few people who are nice, funny, and have not too many subscribers . . . I don’t like when there are over a certain amount of subscribers on someone’s channel because then all of your posts are replaced by others in the next five minutes—not so fun.


Also, I started a blog, yes, blog, where I’ve posted 2 entries thus far. I have one “follower” and 3 people I “follow.” To me I feel as though a blog is like a public diary: you write your thoughts but edit to sound more impressive. Mine are FAR from impressive, but, yeah. I forget what I was saying. Oh well.





CRAZYCRAYON BLOG


Sunday, January 4, 2009


. . . let me count the ways.


I like a lot of things. I like books, ones with a meaningful message but with humor, or a comic book. I like movies, mostly classical romances and comedies, but I like those odd artsy ones too. I like music, indie stuff, but I don’t like liking music that other people like. I like food, really only Olive Garden and my mom’s cooking. I like the Internet, and going to my favorite websites twenty times a day. I like coloring books, especially when I use those metallic, shiny crayons. I like animals, I communicate better with them than that “human species.” I like snow, when it’s untouched and all white and I’m inside. I like leaves, the crunchy kind that you can step on and crush into smithereens. I like when the sun is shining on your arm, and you feel it and it’s all warm. I like stuffed animals, smallish ones that fit on my bed but end up under my mattress. I like quiet, where I can sit, and just sit, and do nothing else. I like vases filled with flowers that look effortlessly placed, all spread apart equally. I like a lot of things.


I also love many things. But what I really love, what I really, really, really truly love is definitely easy to say . . .


I love Neverball.



“Jughead, my one true love.”

QUINCY, MASSACHUSETTS, 2009



Game Boy time,

ALBERTVILLE, FRANCE, 2006



Lady of the Beach,

QUINCY, MASSACHUSETTS, 2009





CRAZYCRAYON BLOG


Tuesday, January 6, 2009


I don’t know a lot of stuff


I wish I was a better person. I try to do good things, but really? I think I do but I don’t. I don’t know. I think I’m one of those people that think about their own problems, even though I wish I could do something resourceful. Now I’m one of those people that think about their own problems and then blog about how they wish they could do something to make a difference. Perfect.


I also wish I were a bit more creative. I always want to blog, but I can never think of anything interesting to say. I could fill you in on my life story, but I’m sick of it. Maybe one day I’ll be bored enough to type it all out. All out? Ha, I think I think I’m older than I am. Seriously, fourteen years is like nothing, and maybe you’re like, “snap girl, you know nothing about life!” (because don’t we all talk this way?) and maybe I don’t. I don’t really know.


I’m listening to Regina Spektor. I don’t usually like women’s voices, but she has such beautiful songs . . . they’re making me cry. I don’t even know why. I’m not even sad. Maybe I am. I honestly can never decipher my emotions.


Labels: I don’t know, regina spektor, thoughts, tired

Posted by Esther at 8:48 PM 0 comments



The Earl children,

BRAINTREE, MASSACHUSETTS, 2010





CRAZYCRAYON BLOG


January 16, 2009



I have been in such a bad mood lately. I hate it. I’m mad at my brain for being mad. And I’m mad at my body for being tired. I hate being mad. I hate hating being mad. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


I’m getting a haircut tomorrow. It’s going to be short and angleafied. Because that’s a word. And after cutting it I’m dyeing it orange with purple streaks. That’s right.





Sunday, January 25, 2009 11:28 AM, EST