This Star Won't Go Out

4) Go to India

5) Witness something truly amazing

6) Do more.




But I don’t know. I’d like to do stuff and, just LIVE, because if I do die soon, sitting in my room with the occasional movement will not work. It’s just hard moving around. You know wha’m sayin’? G’nizzle. (night . . .)





Monday, December 15, 2008 5:54 PM, EST


Esther is doing pretty well these days, which makes for a happily anticipated Christmas season! This weekend Abby was home from Gordon College, and a close friend of hers from Black Forest Academy days was visiting from college in Missouri. I took all the girls out to a little seafood place a few miles from us, on the wharf in Boston, since Esther felt up to an outing and said, “I’ve never tasted lobster!” A couple of us had fish, Angie had asparagus, and Esther tried lobster. She didn’t like it . . . but she filled up on onion rings and we had a great evening. She did super with her oxygen tank (I think we took 4 tanks with us, just in case . . .!).


Our Christmas Tree looks wonderful, even though it’s from Lowes and not handpicked by us from the farm. This little house has a brick fireplace, so we’ve been enjoying some warm evenings near the tree. Wishing you all a great week as you wind down (or rev up!) for the holidays!





Monday, December 16, 2008


I had that huge adventure (because apparently I’m an adventurist . . . ) on, um, Saturday, the one with the lobster, and it was fun. It was also extremely exhausting, and that night I slept pretty much without waking. The next day, (yesterday) I woke up at like 5 pm, even though all my lights plus my TV had been going since 2 when Dad started to “wake me up.” BAHA! So yes, I was quite a bit tired. Yesterday was slow and lethargic—Although I DID make a new YouTube video? Excitement

THIS morning I woke up around 6am and felt soo nauseous. That’s happened a few mornings since starting chemo, especially if I forget my nausea pill the night before. Which I did last night.

So yeah . . . wake up at 6 and called Mom’s cell, because I figured she was at home (disorientation . . . ) but of course she was at school, so I called home, feeling so sick. Dad came up and stuck a bowl in front of me as I threw up. That was good timing, since otherwise it’d be up-chuck-bedding.

Can I just say, my esophagus has that “mucicidos” thing going on, which is like a rash inside my esophagus. So I’m taking medicine for it, and thank goodness the pain I had been experiencing in my middle chest area went away. But if I eat meat, or eat something irregular to my diet, I get really bad acid reflux, which burns.

That’s what my throw up was like: it burned my throat and esophagus area, and just flat out hurt. It didn’t stop hurting for like 2ish hours. It really, really was not cool.

After the throw up episode, I couldn’t fall back asleep so I got up. I filmed myself and was gonna post it as a YouTube video but it was lame. I spent an hour or so praying and just plain hanging out with my brother Abe. We drew some pictures together, and I got out of bed (!) to see his new room arrangements (his bed was moved around by Dad). And it was fun spending time with Abe.

Later, at like 9pm, I started getting tired, and then later I couldn’t keep my eyes open. But by the time I was tucked in bed (11? 12?) I got my second wind. So here I am! :D and . . . I think I’m getting tired again.

I’ll write more tomorrow—I’m trying to think of a cool cartoon character that I can make cute cartoons with—just a random person/creature that I like. We’ll see. If I can think of anything, I’ll draw it here. Duh. BYE!





Tuesday, December 16, 2008 11:31 AM, EST