This Star Won't Go Out

Those are (only some of) my fantastic, fabulous assortments of goodies! Smiley goodies, that is. Doncha love ’em? My fave is <;) which looks different than the last every time I do it! Although I can’t remember ever actually doing that smiley . . . heh. Smilies are fun.


December 12, 2008


Noticed my “Holiday page decor”?

Abby and Elise came home today, and they’ll be here till Sunday, which is 2 days away (it’s Friday). Tomorrow we’re going out to a restaurant called Tia’s, and we’re gonna have LOBSTER! I don’t even like, know if I like lobster, but I’m hoping I do. We were going to go to No Name but Tia’s is better because it’s more fancy schmancy.

Oh, so you know how I was talking about how little things sometimes set off some of my emotions? Yeah, I was talking about that yesterday. Anyway, today Dad was frustrated about something and he snapped at me last night and a few times today. And I realize he’s not “being personal” but I just felt like crying. I don’t ever cry during the day. If I have to I hold it in and plan to cry that night. Sometimes I do or sometimes I don’t. If I don’t, the repressed emotion is added to my emotion pot, and if the emotion pot fills, I break down.

So when Dad was snapping I felt like it’s my fault he’s stressed. And lately I’ve been like, well DUH, it’s my fault my parents are stressed. If it weren’t for me they’d be in France still, or where they want to be. Obviously they don’t say that, but it’s true. When any type of sickness is in your house, there’s of course gonna be added stress and frustration . . . thus it’s my fault.

Another thing that I’ve sensed, but have over-thought, is that Mom and Dad think I’m lazy. They do, but wouldn’t say so because they wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. I think I’m lethargic and I could do more, but I AM like, limited. I get disoriented if I walk somewhere, and out of breath.

But I could do more and I would do more, but finding the motivation for doing stuff comes in really small amounts. Like really small. :\ If I felt more motivated, I’d probably do more, but I feel like doing stuff is pointless. AGagh.

Well, I’m off to put on my BiPAP and think of life. Joy to the world . . . <:D

Oh, also, what do I draw? My sketch book has been ignored for days! I can’t think of anything. D:< I don’t like “still life,” I think I like more imaginary or fantasy things. Meh.


December 16, (the 14th at 12 am . . .), 2008 Dish on Lobster dish.


Last night, Abby and Elise and Mom and Angie, and I, went out for dinner! We stuffed 2 big oxygen tanks in, and 3 little ones, for a just-in-case pleasant evening. So we drove in the car to the restaurant! We were going to go to Anthony Piers 4 in the most original plan, but that was loads of moolah so we decided on Tia’s. Mom called them and found out they were closed for winter! Ick. So Mom picked the not-too-fancy, not-too-casual Barking Crab. We got there and got our table by the fire1.

Unfortunately, we were also by the door, and every time it opened we’d feel a rush of cold air. Brr! D: Other than that it was comfy. Apparently the bathroom was outside, but only Elise and Angie had to pee, so, haha!

We got a bucket of crab legs for appetizer, onion rings too. The crab legs looked so odd. And we had no idea how to get the meat out of the shell, so we asked, and the lady waitress brought us a huge rock to smash it with!

So you stick the crab leg in the middle of your paper plate and fold over half of it. Then you take your rock and hit the folded over plate, on top of the crab, until you hear a crack. Then you open the plate, take the leg and peel off shell until you see the meat. Then you take your fork/fingers and slide the meat off and eat it! I wasn’t a huge fan of it, but it was okay.

Then I got lobster. A WHOLE lobster. With antennae and legs and everything. They pre-cut it where it needs to be cut, and “all I had to do” was 1. Twist the claws off, there were two! 2. Pull the body backwards so the tail comes off. 3. Stare/laugh/gag at the poop stuff that falls off after unhinging the tail. 4. Peel away the tail shell. 5. Pull the meat off the bone stuff. 6. Dip the meat in butter and eat.


1 But not too close . . . no one wants an oxygen tank explosion. >:]





At the Barking Crab,

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, 2008


Not too hard. Sadly I kind of liked the taste, just not the texture or the I-don’t-know thing about it. Ickay. :/ I ate a little, Abby ate the rest, and I ate loooads of onion rings. They were so good.

Hey, I was thinking, you know how people have things on a list of stuff they’d do before they died if given the chance? I want to do something like that. I don’t know yet. There are some things I’d do if I had no breathing problems:

1) Make a stand in a downtown area with the sign “free hugs” and give a hug to anyone who wanted.

2) Somehow do something for sick children.

3) Taste lots of different foods.