The Wonder of Your Love

Eighteen




ELI SAT DOWN AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WITH THE package that had arrived in the mail. He stared at it, knowing what it was, but not wanting to admit that his friendship with Katie Ann was over.

Finally he forced himself to open the box and unwrap the cell phone. She hadn’t been back in Colorado for twenty-four hours when she called to tell him that she was sending the phone back. Eli wasn’t sure what happened in Lancaster County. Maybe she was still grieving for her husband, and being back there made her feel like she was betraying Ivan by being friends with Eli.

But who were they fooling? Katie Ann knew that they were much more than friends, just as Eli did. He had tried to talk her out of sending the phone back, but she was insistent that it was a luxury she shouldn’t have. When he asked to visit her, she declined.

Over the next few weeks, he left several messages on the barn phone. She never called him back. He stayed busy planting the fields, but as the seasons began to change, Eli’s feelings began to change too. His hurt turned to resentment. Before Katie Ann, he’d been a happy fellow with his entire life planned out. Now he was lonely and bitter. He didn’t even want to travel anymore. He missed her so much he could hardly stand it.

It was the first of April when all his daughters once again came to see him. He was out on the plow when he saw their buggies pulling in. He was tempted to stay right where he was, but his strong-willed daughters would only wait him out.

As he walked across the fields, he pulled off his hat and wiped sweat from his brow. Four of his six grandchildren scurried about in the yard among their mothers, and Eli smiled, feeling angry at himself for his bitterness about Katie Ann. He knew that he was blessed more than most men. He’d loved two women with all his heart, and he had a wonderful family and these beautiful grandchildren. He told himself that he would enjoy the Lord’s blessings, and he would joyfully endure another intervention from his daughters. Wondering what it would be this time, he recalled the girls’ many attempts to cheer him up over the past month. There had been several conversations about Katie Ann. His daughters were convinced he should travel to Canaan and tell her how he felt.

But it was Jake who convinced him otherwise. “If she wanted to be with you, Daed, wouldn’t she be?” he’d said.

As he got closer, he hesitated for a moment. Jake was sitting on the porch. All of his children were here, and by their expressions, Eli knew this wasn’t just a social call or a planned visit to boost his spirits.


KATIE ANN ADDED another pot holder to her pile. Her days were long, spent tending to Jonas and working on her handmade items. Turning out lap quilts, pot holders, and knitted items kept her hands busy, if not always her mind. So often her thoughts would drift to Eli, but in her effort to guard her heart, she focused on being a good mother to Jonas and on more tangible goals that had nothing to do with Eli.

Vera paid a visit to Katie Ann every time she heard from him. Katie Ann looked forward to hearing what Eli was doing and how he was, although that same evening she would usually cry herself to sleep. The past two weeks had been better, though, because someone else’s love life was the focus of everyone’s attention. Martha and Arnold were getting married the first of May.

She smiled as Jonas pulled himself up in the playpen; she couldn’t believe he was seven months old already. An April breeze filled the house with the scent of spring, and Katie Ann was looking forward to Martha coming for supper, the way she always did on Saturday night. Katie Ann had said repeatedly that Martha should bring Arnold, but Martha always said this night was reserved for just the girls, which now included Danielle. The teenager was always pleasant, but a bit guarded. Martha said she was just the opposite at home, always rambling on about something. But apparently “Amish folks” made Danielle nervous.

Danielle had finally talked to Martha about her mother, a troubled woman with a drinking problem. Evidently that was not the first time her mother had hit her, but it was the worst. Katie Ann couldn’t believe they had not heard one word from the woman since the day she left Danielle there.

And Danielle was a handful for Martha. Twice Martha had awakened during the night to find that Danielle wasn’t home. She’d gone for a walk—or so she said. Then there was the loud music, the need for a cell phone, arguments about clothes. And Danielle still didn’t have a job, something Martha insisted upon when she agreed to let her stay.

“Where’s my baby?” Martha said when she arrived later that afternoon. She handed Katie Ann the casserole dish she was carrying before she marched to the playpen, leaned down, and smothered Jonas with kisses. “Oh, and by the way, I didn’t cook that. There was a woman in Monte Vista selling tamales out of a little shack. There was a long line, so I figured they must be good.”

Jonas raised his arms, always excited to see Granny, as Martha was now calling herself.

Katie Ann nodded. She’d never had tamales before, but she knew there was a big Latino influence in the area, and she was eager to try something new. “Where’s Danielle?” she asked as she peeled back the foil and breathed in the scent of pork and spicy seasonings.

Martha stood up, put her hands on her hips, and huffed. “You know that girl is as smart as a whip. Graduated from high school early before she ended up on my doorstep. But I’m not always sure her choices are as smart. She seemed to think that going to the movies with Angie was more important than our girls’ night out.”

“Who is Angie?”

“A girl she met in town when I sent her shopping for me. And Angie has a car.” Martha rolled her eyes. “I wish she could get friendly with some of the Amish young people around here. I’d feel a lot better. Her new friend’s nose is pierced, for goodness’ sake.” Martha threw her hands in the air. “What kind of girl pierces her nose?” She plopped down on the couch. “And I’ve told Danielle that she needs a job before we kill each other.”

Katie Ann smiled. “You care for her a lot, no?”

“I guess,” Martha said with a pout. “But I wouldn’t want to have three or four more just like her.”

“Tell me about the wedding. Is everything ready?” Katie Ann sat down beside her.

“Everything is ready except for confirmation from Bishop Esh. I visit him regularly, even though I’m not Amish. I figure he can bless our union and stand right up there next to Father Jim, who I also visit often, even though I’m not a Catholic.”

Katie Ann grinned every time she pictured Bishop Esh standing next to the priest from Arnold’s church—both presiding over a wedding that was neither Amish nor Catholic. She didn’t think their bishop from Lancaster County, Bishop Ebersol, ever would have done such a thing, but Bishop Esh was a bit more liberal.

Katie Ann used to think that maybe Martha was considering conversion to their faith, but Arnold was a devout Catholic, so that seemed unlikely now. Martha had a good relationship with both the bishop and the priest. She said it didn’t matter what religion you were as long as you were fully committed to the Lord.

“Someone’s here,” Martha said as she sat taller. “It’s a buggy. I can hear it coming up the driveway.”

“It’s Vera.” Katie Ann peered out the window, surprised that Vera was coming so close to the supper hour.

A few minutes later Vera walked into Katie Ann’s living room. Her expression was strained, and she didn’t even bother with polite small talk or come more than a few feet into the room. “I’m sorry to come this time of the evening, Katie Ann, but I got a phone call from Eli awhile ago.”

“What is it, Vera?” Martha asked.

“It’s his daughter Hannah, his oldest girl. She had the cancer awhile back, and they just found out it’s back.” She hung her head, then looked back up. “I thought you’d want to know, Katie Ann.”

“Ya, ya. Danki, Vera.” Katie Ann touched her on the arm. “Do you want to stay?”

“No. I have to get home and feed everyone, but I just wanted you to know.”

Katie Ann swallowed back the lump in her throat. She forced a smile.

Vera wasn’t even around the corner in her buggy when Martha reached into her purse and handed Katie Ann her cell phone. She took it, walked outside, and sat down on the porch step. She dialed his number, and he answered on the first ring.

“Eli?” She hoped she had dialed correctly. It had been so long since she’d heard his voice, she wasn’t sure it was Eli who answered.

“Katie Ann?”

“Ya, it’s me. I—I just wanted to call and tell you how sorry I am to hear about Hannah. I’m so very sorry.” She struggled not to cry, knowing how hard this must be for him.

“Danki, Katie Ann. The doctor said they caught it early, so we are very hopeful. How are you? It’s gut to hear your voice.”

It took everything in her power not to break down and tell him how much she missed him, but now was not the time. “It’s gut to hear your voice too.” She sat taller and took a deep breath. “Please tell me if there is anything that I can do for you or your family. I will be praying for all of you.”

“I pray for you and Jonas every night. I miss you, Katie Ann.” His voice was soft and sounded so sad.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek. “I pray for you too.” She covered her eyes with one hand.

“Do you miss me?”

“I—I don’t think this is—is the time to be . . .” Her voice cracked as she trailed off.

“It is the time, Katie Ann. I need . . . I need my friend more than ever right now.”

A faucet of tears trailed down her cheeks. “I will always be your friend, Eli. Always.”

“Really? Because it hasn’t felt like that.”

She could hear the anger in his voice, and while part of her wanted to lash out at him for breaking her heart in the first place, she knew his pain was great, and she wasn’t going to do anything to add to it. “I’m sorry, Eli. It was just—just getting too hard.”

There was silence, and Katie Ann assumed that Eli knew exactly what she was talking about. “Long-distance relationships.” He let out a lighthearted chuckle. “Hard work, no?”

She was glad to hear his voice a bit brighter. “Ya. Hard work.”

They stayed on the phone for another thirty minutes, not saying much, but not wanting to hang up either. Katie Ann offered to pray quietly with Eli before they said good-bye, and as was always the case, she cried for quite a while after they hung up.

“That’s just terrible,” Martha said about the call, shaking her head as they ate supper later.

Katie Ann placed some peas and ham on Jonas’s highchair tray, having decided the tamales were too spicy for him. “Ya. It is.” Despite her resolve, she was starting to cry again.

“Honey, I don’t know why you don’t tell that man how you feel about him.”

“I’m not going to push him into a life he didn’t plan for, Martha.”

“Vera said Eli hasn’t traveled anywhere. If that was the life he wanted, then why isn’t he living it?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not going back to how things were. Being so far away from each other was too hard.” She shook her head.

“Well, I say life is too short.”

Katie Ann was quiet. She didn’t know what else to say.


OVER THE NEXT couple of weeks, Katie Ann slipped into a comfortable routine. After she had Jonas in bed, she’d go out to the barn and call Eli. After their first conversation about Hannah, he’d asked her to call him the next night, and at the end of each call, Eli would make the same request, for her to please call the following night. She carried the baby monitor to the barn so she could hear if Jonas woke up. Both she and Eli avoided any more mention about their own relationship, and in some ways, it was like old times. Hannah had a good prognosis, and the doctors had removed the small lump in her breast and anticipated a full recovery without Hannah needing to have chemotherapy or radiation. Eli returned to his old self, laughing and being positive.

Katie Ann had to admit, she was happier talking to him than she was not talking to him. Twice he’d mentioned seeing her, but she sidestepped the idea. Besides, he couldn’t leave his family right now, and Katie Ann was much too busy keeping Martha on an even keel with the wedding only a week away. But there was a huge part of her that longed to feel his lips against hers, the feel of his arms around her. So much so that she was almost willing to endure another good-bye just to have him hold her one more time.


MARTHA SAT ON the edge of her bed eyeing her wedding dress on a hanger across the room. It was a beautiful ivory-colored gown that the lady at the bridal boutique said was tasteful and elegant. Danielle said it looked like an old lady dress, so Martha reminded her that she was an old lady. Martha and Danielle were starting to adjust to each other’s ways, but she worried how Arnold would fit into their routine. In a week, they would vow to love each other forever, and he would move into her house, since his was only a rental. She loved that man with all her heart, but she was having some prewedding jitters on this Tuesday afternoon when Danielle knocked on her door.

“Come in.”

Danielle walked in, her long blond hair in a ponytail and wearing her usual blue jeans and a T-shirt. “I have some news for you.”

Martha crossed herself and looked up. “Please, Lord, let it be good news.”

Danielle smiled. “I got a job.”

Martha crossed herself again, brought her hands together in prayer, and looked up again. “Thank You, God.”

“I’m going to be a waitress at the Mountain View Restaurant in Monte Vista.”

Martha smiled. “That’s a nice place. They have the best burgers on the planet.”

Danielle tucked her chin as she raised an eyebrow. Martha knew what was coming next.

“I’ll be working at night, and you’d have to take me there, and I know you don’t like to drive at night, so . . .” She raised her shoulders, then let them fall slowly.

“Yeah, I knew this would be coming. You want a car.”

Danielle sat down beside Martha on the bed. “It seems weird to say that. I mean, you’re not my mom or anything. And you’ve already done so much for me.”

It wasn’t often that Danielle acknowledged Martha’s generosity, so it always touched Martha when she did. “Still no word from your mother?”

“No.” Danielle stared off into space the way she usually did at the mention of her mother.

They were quiet for a while, then Danielle turned to face Martha. “You’re not going to wear that butterfly clip in your hair when you get married, are you?”

Martha frowned, twisting to face her. “Yes, I am. It matches my dress perfectly.”

“I don’t think so. It’s pink.” Danielle shook her head, smiling, but she stopped and tipped her head to one side. “Do you think it’s okay with Arnold that I’m living here?”

“You two seem to get along well.” Martha grinned. “And he knew we were a package deal.”

“Arnold gets me. He’s a good guy.” She reached up and pulled her hair tight within the ponytail. “You don’t get me sometimes.”

Martha glared at her, but Danielle just chuckled and did the unexpected. She reached over and hugged Martha. At first Martha just sat there. After a moment, she put her arms around Danielle and they held each other for a while.

“I guess I’ll go take a bath.” Danielle eased away and started toward the door. Then she laughed. “I wonder when Arnold’s allocated bath time will be.”

The sound of the girl’s laughter warmed Martha’s heart, so she decided to ignore her reference to Martha’s most-reasonable rules. “I’ll tell you what . . .” Martha reached up and tightened her butterfly clip as Danielle turned around at the doorway. “I have a deal to make with you.”

“Really?” She eyed Martha, squinting one eye. “And what’s that?”

“You go to worship with me every other week, and I’ll buy you a car.”

“To that Amish church?” Her eyes grew round.

You’d think I just asked her to make a deal with the devil himself.

“Yes, to that Amish church.” She pointed a finger at Danielle.

“It’s either my church people, or you can go to church with Arnold, but he goes every Sunday, and they don’t have food afterward.”

“But his church is only an hour long. You’re gone like half the day when you go to the Amish church.”

“Well, Arnold’s church is almost thirty minutes away. So let’s see . . . thirty minutes there, thirty minutes back, an hour for Mass, no meal, gotta go every Sunday . . .”

“Fine! I’ll go with you.” She folded her arms across her chest. “That doesn’t mean I’ll change my mind about God.

Besides, you said it’s mostly in German anyway. I won’t even understand anything.”

“The Lord has a way of getting through to us when it counts.” Martha smiled, glad she remembered some German from her college days to combine with the Lord’s efforts.

“What kind of car?”

Martha cackled. “An old clunker, just like I had for my first car.”

“What?”

“Take it or leave it.”

Danielle sighed. “Fine. I’ll take it.”

Martha smiled as Danielle headed out the door and down the hall. The three of them were going to be a family.

Now she just had to figure out what to do about Katie Ann, who would always be like her daughter—but the girl deserved happiness. The kind of happiness that comes from a family who lives together under the same roof—loving, arguing, and growing together.

Hmm . . . She could feel the wheels spinning in her head.