The Wonder of Your Love

Eleven




MIDDLEFIELD WELCOMED ELI BACK WITH SLIGHTLY warmer temperatures than he’d left in Colorado, but with snow just the same. He thanked the cabdriver, noticed all the buggies in front of his house, and wondered what was going on. Hurrying into the living room, he was surprised to see all five of his daughters inside.

“What in the world are all you maedels doing here?” He looked at each one of them. “And where are all my grandchildren?”

Hannah waved her hand in the air. “They’re with Laura Jane.”

“And why does she have all the kinner this fine afternoon?”

“Because we want to talk to you, Daed.” Ida Mae sat down on the couch next to Karen and Frieda. “Sit down and tell us all about your trip.”

Eli narrowed his brows. Something was up. His daughters all led busy lives, and he was going to see all of them here the very next day for Thanksgiving. “I could have told you all about it tomorrow, mei maedels.”

“We couldn’t wait!” Maureen was still standing, and she bounced on her toes as she spoke. “Tell us about . . .” She grinned. “Her.”

“Who?”

“Katie Ann.”

He glanced around the room at his five daughters. Why were they gathered here and asking about Katie Ann?

“Aenti Vera told us you spent a lot of time with her while you were in Canaan.” Frieda pushed back a strand of dark hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer covering. “So we were just wondering . . .” She gave a little shrug.

Eli slowly took off his coat, then his hat. He hung them both on a rung by the front door and folded his arms across his chest. You could have heard a pin drop on the wooden floor beneath his feet. “And which one of you called Aenti Vera to check on me?” He tried to keep a serious voice.

Hannah laughed as she took a seat in a rocking chair in the corner. “We didn’t have to call Aenti Vera. She called us. We’re so happy for you, Daed. We’ve been praying that you would find someone to share your life with. You deserve that, and Katie Ann sounds wonderful, perfect for—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Eli held his palm toward Hannah, whose expression dropped. “There is no romance between me and Katie Ann.”

His kiss with Katie Ann flashed through his mind, and he knew it was the most romantic thing that had happened to him in seventeen years, but he wasn’t about to admit that to his daughters. “We are friends. That’s all.” He looked at all of his daughters, one by one. “Now, why the long faces?”

Maureen was standing across the room, her expression possibly the most forlorn of the group. “We were hoping you’d found someone special.”

To insinuate that Katie Ann was not special caused a knot in Eli’s stomach. “She is special. A special friend.” Eli unfolded his arms from across his chest and put them on his hips. “Since when did all of mei dochders become so interested in mei personal life?”

“Maureen is married and out of the house now, Daed. We’re all out on our own.” Hannah walked closer to Eli. “It’s time for you to find someone to grow old with.”

Eli chuckled. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am old.” He walked to the coffee table and picked up his mail. “And none of you needs to be fretting about me.” He flipped through the envelopes. “Besides, I told you girls that I planned to do some traveling.”

“First of all, that’s just not normal.” Frieda scowled. “What sort of Amish man wanders the countryside?”

Eli put down his mail, rubbed his forehead, and wondered when his daughters all grew into such headstrong women. He looked at Frieda, stroked his beard for a moment, and then shook his head. “I’ve told all of you that I plan to take some time for myself.”

“Well, that was before you met a woman who is perfect for you.”

Maureen leaned back against the couch, her pouting expression reminding Eli of when she was a small girl.

“Ya. And you’re going to blow it, Daed.” Karen also leaned back against the couch, folding her arms across her chest.

“Perfect for me?” Eli faced off with all his girls, glancing around at each one of them in turn. “She is not perfect for me.

Katie Ann has a baby that is almost three months old. She is just now starting her family. I’ve raised six wonderful kinner, and I think I deserve a little time on my own.”

Ida Mae huffed. “That sounds mighty selfish, Daed.”

Hannah spoke up next. “Hush, Ida Mae.” She turned to Eli. “It’s not selfish, Daed. And we do think you should have some time for yourself, but—”

“Danki for your permission, Hannah.” Eli smiled, but when Hannah’s eyes teared up, he silently reprimanded himself for the comment. Hannah was his most sensitive child, even though she was the oldest daughter. “Girls,” he said softly, glancing at each one of them. “If ever there was a time when I needed a fraa, it was when you all were young. I regret that you grew up without a mother for so long, and some of you not at all. So I’m going to say this one time, then that’s the end of it. Katie Ann is a beautiful, wonderful person. We grew close while I was there, and we plan to stay in touch. As friends.” He pointed a finger around the room. “Everyone clear about that?”

The girls all gathered near the door, nodding as they bundled up in coats and bonnets. They each kissed him on the cheek and rattled off what they were bringing for the Thanksgiving meal the next day. As the others scurried across the porch toward their buggies, Ida Mae hung back. She wrapped her arms around her father. “We just want you to be happy, Daed. That’s all.”

Eli eased away and cupped Ida Mae’s chin. “I know you do, mei maedel. And hard work mixed with travel will make me happy.”

She nodded, and Eli watched his very independent, strongwilled daughters hitch up their buggies to head home. Pride was something to be avoided, but Eli was proud of each one of them just the same.

He waved at the departing buggies, then walked back inside. Again his mind replayed his kiss with Katie Ann, the way it had been since the moment his lips left hers. She was as wrong for him as any woman could be. And it wasn’t just Jonas and the new family she was beginning. Eli could tell from their conversations that Katie Ann was struggling to trust again.

Maybe she had forgiven her husband and his mistress, but he sensed that trust was still a far cry away.

He didn’t ever want to do anything to cause her to distrust him. What about the kiss? Shouldn’t she have been able to trust him not to be so forward? Eli supposed he should feel guilty for both times that they had kissed . . . but he didn’t.

Nothing had ever felt so right.


KATIE ANN BUTTONED her coat, tied her bonnet, and gathered up the extra-large batch of creamed celery she’d made to take for the Thanksgiving feast. She’d taken Jonas over earlier and was sure that Anna and Elizabeth were entertaining him. As she closed the door behind her, she stumbled, then grimaced when she saw what almost caused her to trip. A dead mouse. As she eased around the poor critter, she noticed he wasn’t frozen, but freshly dead. Then something darted from underneath the house and raced toward the barn.

Mrs. Dash turned around once to look at Katie Ann before scurrying through a barn window and out of sight. Katie Ann looked again at the dead animal, then eased down her porch steps. She’d been feeding the cat leftovers most every morning and night. Katie Ann still couldn’t get close to her, but perhaps this was Mrs. Dash’s way of returning the favor—ridding the barn of mice.

She was almost to Lillian’s front door when she heard a car. Spinning around, she saw that it was Martha. It was too cold to wait for her, so she headed into Lillian’s large kitchen through a second door on the porch.

“It’s toasty warm in here,” she said as she put the creamed celery on the table. She scanned the room and saw everyone but the newlyweds. “Where’re Emily and David?”

“They’re here.” Lillian pointed to the living room. “With Elizabeth, Anna, and Jonas.”

Katie Ann peeked her head into the room and watched Emily and David fussing over Jonas. She smiled, sure that the couple was probably planning to start their own family soon. “Hello, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving.”

After she’d hugged those in the room, she walked back into the kitchen just as Martha came through the door from the porch into the kitchen. Lillian disliked the fact that everyone used that door, but it was just so convenient. Martha elbowed her way through the crowd in the kitchen.

“I made a cheese ball.” She handed it to Lillian. “Because that’s just all the energy I could muster up this year.”

Lillian took the ball wrapped in plastic wrap. “Martha, you didn’t have to bring anything. I told you that.” She tenderly rubbed Martha’s arm. “How are you feeling?”

Martha shrugged. “As good as anyone who has a big tumor in their stomach could feel, I guess.”

Katie Ann rubbed her forehead. Despite Martha’s nonchalance, she knew her friend was scared.

“I want to know every little detail of your visit with Eli yesterday,” Martha whispered in her ear. “You and I are going to your house directly this afternoon, and don’t hold back any details.”

“Martha, there isn’t much to tell. We went to Alamosa, and—”

“Whatever. I want to hear it all anyway.”

Katie Ann could feel her cheeks reddening just thinking about last night.

An hour later, a meal that took many hours to prepare was consumed in less than fifteen minutes, and the men retired to the barn while the women cleaned up.

“Oh, I need to tell you all, I got the details for my surgery next week.” Martha handed Vera a plate to be washed.

“They’re cutting me open on Wednesday. I have to be there early in the morning, and . . .” She paused with a huff. “Can you believe I can’t eat breakfast that morning? Not that I would have been thrilled to have cereal and a muffin as my last meal, but . . .”

Vera was running soapy water in Lillian’s sink, and Emily handed her another plate as she turned to Martha. “Martha, first of all, it’s not your last meal. Don’t say things like that.”

Emily’s eyes were starting to tear up. Katie Ann knew how much the girl—and David—loved Martha. They all did. But Martha needed to be careful how she spoke about her upcoming surgery, especially around the younger folks.

Katie Ann patted Emily on the shoulder and whispered, “Everything will be fine. You know how Martha gets.”

Emily nodded, but Katie Ann was as worried as the rest of them.

“Katie Ann?” David poked his head into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear. “You have a phone call.”

“A call? Who could be calling me?”

Everyone in the room turned to David, and Lillian spoke up. “David, who is it?”

His smile broadened. “It’s Eli.”

Katie Ann couldn’t even look at the women around her, and the heat in her face was evidence of how red her cheeks must be. She tucked her chin as she moved toward the door.

“You go, girl!” Martha’s voice boomed above the whispers in the kitchen, and Katie Ann kept her eyes down.

As she walked into the barn, the men began to scatter. Elam, Samuel, David, Jacob, and Levi all moved toward the door.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to leave.”

“Sure we do,” Levi said as he winked at her.

Katie Ann took a deep breath and watched as Samuel closed the barn door behind them. She wished she had thought to bundle up before she ran out the door. With chattering teeth, she said, “Hello.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

Her heart came alive at the sound of his voice. “And happy Thanksgiving to you.” She put a hand to her chest, hoping to calm her rapid pulse, but it was no use. It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since he left her house, since the kiss, but her lips still tingled at the memory of his touch.

“I had to get away from the crowd for a few minutes. My girls have taken over my kitchen, which is fine. My son and sons-in-law have taken over my living room, which is fine. And my grandchildren are in my bedroom playing board games. That, too . . . is fine. But . . .” He chuckled. “I needed a few minutes of quiet. And I thought about you. Are you having a good day with everyone?”

“Ya, ya. We all ate too much, as expected.” She held her breath for a moment, wondering if their conversation would be filled with small talk, in light of all the deep conversations they’d had over the past couple of weeks.

“I’m not going to keep you from family, but I didn’t want the day to go by without wishing you a happy Thanksgiving.

And you hug Jonas from me.”

Katie Ann was glowing from the inside out, and she didn’t even notice the cold anymore. “I will. And you give my blessings to your family as well.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“Katie Ann, I’m feeling a little bad about . . .”

She heard him take a deep breath.

“. . . about the way I kissed you Tuesday night.”

“It wasn’t like it was the first time.” Katie Ann slapped a hand across her mouth, not believing what she’d said. She squeezed her eyes closed in horror and waited for Eli’s response.

He laughed. “Uh, true. I was just thinking that maybe I somehow took advantage, and—”

“Eli, I’m a grown woman. You didn’t take advantage of me.”

“Well then, if it’s okay with you, I’m not going to feel bad anymore. I’m highly attracted to my new best friend, and I had a weak moment.”

“You had two weak moments.” She squeezed her eyes shut again, but she couldn’t stop smiling at how playful they were being with each other and how natural it felt.

Eli’s familiar laughter warmed her heart. “Ya, I did. And trust me, I think about both. Often.”

Katie Ann wanted to tell Eli that she thought about him too, but there was no way she was going to put her heart out there to a man she couldn’t have. She thought about the way he always referred to her as his best friend. She liked that title. It was safe, but she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Katie Ann, I’ll let you go. Don’t forget to hug Jonas for me.”

“I won’t. And danki for calling.”

She waited for him to hang up, but she could hear him breathing. “Eli?”

“Ya.”

“Is there something else?”

“No. Not really.”

Katie Ann waited.

“Okay, I’m hanging up now.” Eli laughed. “Talk to you soon.”

I hope so. “All right. Bye, Eli.” And this time she hung up. She glanced around the barn for Mrs. Dash, but decided there was too much activity today for her to make an appearance.

Her cheeks warmed when she exited the barn and saw the men standing right outside, all shivering. She knew they had to have heard at least part of her conversation. But when she looked toward the house and saw all the women peering out the window at her, she knew what she was walking into.


IT WAS NEARING dark when the last of Eli’s kin left. What a grand day it had been, and he felt like sharing the details with someone. Not just anyone. Katie Ann. As he kicked back in his recliner, he adjusted the lantern on the table beside him so he could see better. He searched his pile of papers and mail on the table until he came across a tablet of paper and a pen.

Dear Katie Ann,

He stopped and wondered if the details of his day would be of interest to her. After only a few moments of deliberation, he decided that they just might.

It’s Thanksgiving evening, and everyone has gone home. It’s quiet in the house. Just the way I like it (I’m chuckling here), but I wish you were here for me to tell you about our day. My oldest grandchild, Leah, sang to everyone in the living room after the meal, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so beautiful. She sang “Jesus Loves Me” and “For God So Loved Us.” Do you remember me telling you about Leah? She’s Jake and Laura Jane’s oldest, my first grandchild. And also today, little Luke fell and bumped his head. It was a touching moment when his twin brother, Ben, touched his head and started to cry, as if he’d felt the pain. Seems like twins are always extra close. Luke and Ben are identical. Did I tell you that?



Sometimes, when it’s quiet like this, I’ll put out a small radio I have hidden in my bedroom and listen to country gospel music. Sometimes I turn it on really softly in the background when I pray. Mei kinner all know I have it, and I suspect that one or two of them might have a radio as well, but our bishop has a habit of showing up unexpectedly, so I keep it hidden in a drawer in my nightstand. I’m such a rule-breaker, no?



Eli stretched his socked feet out on the recliner and leaned his head back for a moment. He closed his eyes and let his last visit with Katie Ann play out in his mind for the hundredth time. When he’d relived the moment several times, he resumed his writing.

I hope that when you receive this, it will put a smile on your face. You need to smile more. It’s healthy. Or so I’m told (chuckling again). Either way, I love it when you smile.



Eli reminded himself not to come on too strong. He knew he should pray for Katie Ann to find a wonderful man to take care of her and Jonas, but he just wasn’t sure he liked that idea. Actually, he was sure he didn’t like that idea. I’m a selfish man. He scratched his forehead.

What are your plans for Christmas? Will you celebrate First Christmas at Lillian and Samuel’s haus, or will you go somewhere else? Mei dochders will take over mei haus again for First Christmas, then on Second Christmas we usually spend the day visiting friends and shut-ins. We always visit Annie Hostetler and her husband, John. Annie has Alzheimer’s, and they don’t get out much. That disease scares me. And we always end the day by having pie at Miller’s Pantry. Best pie in the world, I think.



I’ll close for now. I hope to hear back from you. Sending blessings to you and Jonas.



Best friends, in His name,

Eli



He put the letter on the table, planning to mail it first thing in the morning. His fire was dwindling, and as he got up and threw another log on it, he thought about the fires he’d tended at Katie Ann’s house and the time they’d spent talking while sitting on her couch. He shook his head and knew that he was going to have to clear his mind. It was fine to think about her. Just not all the time.

When he got cozy in his chair again, he thought about the next trip he’d be taking after Christmas. But he clearly needed to focus on something else besides Katie Ann.


ON TUESDAY MORNING Katie Ann helped Martha pack her suitcase to take to the hospital the next day. She worried her friend wouldn’t bring what she needed, plus she was hoping Martha would take the quilt she’d brought back for her from Alamosa. She recalled her trip with Eli to the neighboring town, and she wondered what he was doing today. She hadn’t talked to him since he called on Thanksgiving Day. Not that she expected to.

“Martha, I don’t think you’re going to need all those hair accessories at the hospital.” Katie Ann watched as Martha loaded up a huge blow dryer, large pink curlers, several kinds of hair product, and of course . . . the butterfly clip.

“That’s easy for you to say. It doesn’t matter how your hair looks because it’s always covered up by that prayer kapp.” Martha grabbed Katie Ann’s arm and pulled her to the bed. She eased her down on the pink and white comforter that Katie Ann had gotten her for her birthday last year. “Now, honey. Listen to me. I know you’re scared about my trip to the hospital, but you’ve shown me the way to the Lord.” She sat taller and raised her chin. “I’m not afraid to go.”

As Martha dabbed at her eyes, Katie Ann knew that wasn’t true, so she took a deep breath and tried to be strong for her friend. “You’re not going anywhere yet. Everything is going to go fine, and you’ll be home recovering in no time.”

“I don’t think so.”

Martha lowered her head, but Katie Ann saw a tear trickle down her cheek. She looked up and swiped at the tear.

“I’ve never been knocked out. I know that’s hard to believe at my age, but I just know I’m not going to wake up.”

“Of course you’ll wake up.” Katie Ann was surprised to learn that this was Martha’s biggest fear. Katie Ann was much more concerned about the surgery itself, and she planned to talk to the doctors as soon as she and Martha arrived at the hospital, something she should have already done. Had she not been so preoccupied with Eli . . .

“Where’s that quilt you gave me, that lovely spread with the Lord’s Word all over it?”

Katie Ann pointed to a chair across the room. “There it is.”

Martha walked to the chair and picked up the small quilt. “We’ll just carry it in, since it won’t fit in my suitcase.”

Katie Ann was thinking it might fit if there weren’t so many hair supplies, but she didn’t say anything. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Arnold would be arriving later in the afternoon.

Martha pushed the quilt toward Katie Ann. “You make sure I’m covered in this when they wheel me into surgery.”

Katie Ann remembered when David had his kidney transplant. She was pretty sure they wouldn’t allow the quilt to go into surgery with Martha, but she didn’t say anything. At least Martha could sleep beneath it before and after.

“Let’s pray for a while.” Martha slowly eased down onto her knees and propped her elbows on the bed, folding her hands in front of her. Katie Ann slid down beside her. “And let’s don’t do it silently like you people usually do. Can you please pray aloud?”

Katie Ann blinked back tears. “Of course.”

“Don’t cry.” Martha reached over and grabbed onto Katie Ann’s hand. “Have I told you how much I love you?” Martha smiled. “Like you are my own daughter.”

And no matter how hard she tried, Katie Ann couldn’t keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks as she answered. “And I couldn’t love you any more if you were my own mother.”


KATIE ANN GRABBED her mail from the box at the end of her driveway on her way home from Martha’s. She tucked it into her apron and went to Lillian’s to pick up Jonas, who was sleeping soundly in a playpen in the living room. It wasn’t until after she was home and had Jonas in his own bed that she saw the letter from Eli.

She wanted to enjoy every word, so she bathed, made coffee, got a fire going, and curled up on the couch. She was surprised that she hadn’t heard from Arnold, but hopefully he had a safe trip and they would see him at the hospital tomorrow. She peeled the envelope open and read. Smiling, she could almost hear him chuckling as he wrote, and she felt a part of his life as he detailed memorable moments from his day. She couldn’t wait to write him back.

Dear Eli,



I so enjoyed your letter and hearing about Leah and the twins. It sounds like you have such a wonderful family, and I loved hearing about them. Tonight, worry fills my heart, as tomorrow morning I will be taking Martha to the hospital to have the tumor removed. Lillian will keep Jonas for me. I’ve prayed hard about tomorrow, and I know that worry is a sin, but on this night I’m afraid I’m filled with concern. You probably only saw one side of Martha (now I’m chuckling), but I promise you, she has a huge heart, and she is very dear to me, as if she were my own mother.



Katie Ann tapped the pen to her chin as more visions of Eli’s kiss raced through her head.

It has gotten much colder since you left, dropping into the single digits the last few days. I will be glad when spring is here. Last year, Lillian and I didn’t have a garden. We weren’t sure what to plant. The growing season is so different here, with only three months of frost-free weather. But after talking with some other folks, we have a plan. We will grow peas, tomatoes, sweet corn, potatoes, and onions. And we’re told that cauliflower, cabbage, and broccoli will do gut in this climate. I’m looking forward to that, but our last day of frost will not come until mid-June.



Jonas continues to amaze me on a daily basis, and he smiles every time I say his name. What a blessing he is to me so late in life.



I’ve been quilting pot holders in the evenings, and I’m working on a cookbook. Someday I would like to have a small shop to sell things like that, something very small.



She recalled how Eli mentioned that he’d always wanted a shop, but she decided not to bring that up.

I will close for now, as I want to spend extra time in prayer tonight. May this letter find you well in all the ways of the Lord.



She paused, thought for a minute, and decided to sign her letter the same way he had.

Best friends, in His name,

Katie Ann



She folded the letter, put it in an envelope, and found Eli’s address on her end table. She’d drop the letter in the mailbox on the way to the hospital in the morning. She’d tried to get Martha to spend the night with her, but Martha was insistent that she wanted to spend her last night on Earth in her own bed.

Katie Ann closed her eyes in prayer.

Please, Lord, don’t let Martha die. Please.