The Wonder of Your Love

Thirteen




LUCY STARED AT TINY BENJAMIN IN HIS INCUBATOR in the preemie nursery at Lancaster General Hospital. He was small but healthy, and Lucy missed Ivan now more than ever before.

Ivan, we have a beautiful baby boy.

Leaving him to go home would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but the doctors had told her that he would have to stay in the hospital for at least two more months until he was closer to full term. He looked like Ivan with his big eyes, and like Lucy with his small pug nose. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and she wanted more than anything to be a good mother, even though she and Ivan had never really discussed having a family. Ivan always said that if it was God’s will, it would happen.

Lucy wondered what she could do to get on good terms with God. She’d never really had much to do with Him prior to her affair with Ivan, but she was sure God disliked her even more than she disliked herself. She’d been praying every day, asking for forgiveness and begging that God would show her how to be a good mother. She thought about Katie Ann a lot, sure that Ivan’s wife was a wonderful mother. Lucy wondered if she and Katie Ann might have been friends in another life, but she knew the answer. Katie Ann was a good person. Lucy wasn’t. But as she gazed down at the tiny miracle before her, she had this feeling that maybe there was hope.


MARTHA CLEANED UP in the small bathroom in her hospital room, moving slowly, but not in too much pain. Just glad to be alive.

Thank You, Lord.

She was brushing her teeth when she heard a nurse talking to Danielle. She turned off the water and pressed an ear to the door.

“Danielle, we have to discharge you today. We’ve let you stay an extra two days. Is there someone I can call to come pick you up?”

Martha held her breath and waited. No answer. The nurse started speaking again.

“Honey, are you sure you don’t want to visit with that policeman who was here a few days ago? Are you sure you don’t know who did this to you?”

Silence again. Martha scowled. That girl had to know who had done this to her. She listened as footsteps exited the room. She needed her butterfly clip from her small suitcase. Shuffling across the floor to her bag, she glanced up at Danielle. She was sitting up in bed, but staring at the floor. Martha had talked to her about God for almost three hours, and even told her some incredibly personal tales about her own faith journey, stories that would have made the average gal shed a tear or two. Not Danielle.

And when Martha had finished baring her heart in an effort for this lost soul to see the Lord for the hero He could be for her, Danielle had merely said, “Is that all you’ve got?”

Martha had fallen asleep in prayer, telling the Lord that she’d tried her best.

She located her clip and headed back to the bathroom. It took her longer than usual to secure her hair, since it hurt to lift her arms very high. She needed some help and wondered where Katie Ann and Arnold were. She thought they would have been here by now.

As she hadn’t completely shut the bathroom door, she went to push it closed when she saw movement in the room. Peering through the tiny crack, she watched as Danielle tiptoed around Martha’s bed. She kept watching as Danielle eased the drawer to the nightstand open. It didn’t take her long to find Martha’s wallet. Instinctively she opened her mouth to tell the little thief to step back, but she didn’t.

Danielle had closed the drawer and was back in her bed in less than a minute, and Martha figured it wasn’t the girl’s first rodeo. She also figured Danielle probably needed the sixty dollars in Martha’s wallet more than she did, but lies and thievery irritated Martha more than anything else. She wasn’t sure how to handle this.

Once she finally had her hair semi-secure with the butterfly clip, she smoothed the wrinkles from her pink blouse. If she’d known Arnold was coming, she would have brought her matching pink earrings and necklace, but at the time Katie Ann was already scolding her for taking too much to the hospital.

She eased out of the bathroom and slowly lowered herself onto her bed. Now she just had to wait for Arnold and Katie Ann to get here. She gave Danielle an all-knowing smile, but the girl just sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor.

“I heard you tell someone on the phone that you wouldn’t be released for a few more days.” Martha spoke firmly, tempted to tell Danielle that she was a thief and a liar. “But based on what I just heard the nurse say, that was a lie.” She pointed her finger at Danielle and leaned forward. “You want to stay here in the hospital because it’s safe. Right?” Martha couldn’t hold back. “Who did this to you, Danielle?”

Danielle put her head in her hands for a moment, but when she looked back up at Martha, her one functional eye was wild with anger. “Are you always this much in everybody’s business?”

Martha sat taller, as tall as she could without putting pressure on her incision. “If I need to be.”

“Well, you don’t even know me, so stay out of my business.”

“Suit yourself.” Martha felt sick to her stomach.

Pay it forward. Do something nice for someone. The nurse’s words echoed in her head, but Martha figured she had done something nice. She was letting Danielle keep the sixty dollars she’d stolen from Martha’s purse.

As the door swung wide, Martha turned to see Arnold and Katie Ann. “Katie Ann, please tell me that I’m going to a place where there will be creamed celery?”

Katie Ann kissed her on the cheek. “I have a fresh batch at home. I thought you might want to stay with me for a day or two until you’re feeling better.”

Martha didn’t feel all that bad, but being catered to was not something she was going to turn down either. “I guess I’d better.” She turned to Arnold. “So what are your plans?”

“I’m going to see that you get settled at Katie Ann’s, then I’ll head home.” He smiled. “To take care of some things. And pack.”

Martha smiled.

“Yesterday I rented a small house.” Arnold grinned. “Not too far from yours.”

“My house is plenty big. You should have just picked you out a bedroom upstairs. I haven’t even been up there in months. It’d be like having your own apartment.” Martha braced herself for Katie Ann’s rebuttal that was sure to come.

“Martha! That would have been totally inappropriate.” Katie Ann raised her chin and glared at Martha, which only made Martha cackle.

“What? You worried about my reputation? At this age, Katie Ann?” She turned to Arnold. “Will we be having lasagna on Wednesdays, like we used to?”

Arnold moved toward Martha’s suitcase and picked it up. “I sure hope so.”

Martha pointed a finger at him. “Although something has changed since you’ve been gone, Arnold Becker.”

His expression dropped. “What’s that?”

“We used to go to your church in Alamosa, but since you’ve been gone, I’ve been worshipping with Katie Ann and her people.” She glanced at Katie Ann. “I bet they’d let you come too.”

Arnold smiled but didn’t say anything.

Martha had enjoyed attending Mass with Arnold before he left, but his lack of response about the matter made her wonder if he’d consider a change to the Amish way of worshipping, which she tended to prefer these days. Martha had disliked the backless benches at first, but mysteriously several high-backed chairs showed up on the worship wagon shortly after she’d complained. She didn’t understand most of the service, but after the noon meal, Katie Ann would translate whatever Martha didn’t understand, which usually led to a lengthy discussion that Martha always enjoyed. Plus, the meal after worship was always a good one. And if there was another bonus to attending Amish worship, it was the fact that you only had to go to church every other Sunday. Probably because it was three hours long, but Martha was glad to have every other Sunday “off,” as she called it.

“We checked at the front desk,” Arnold said. “And you are cleared to go.”

Martha pulled her purse from the drawer in the nightstand.

Katie Ann picked up the quilt and asked, “Are you sure you have everything?”

Martha shot a slow and coy smile at Danielle. “Probably not, but oh well.”

“Guess we’re ready then.” Katie Ann moved toward the door with Arnold as he carried Martha’s suitcase.

Danielle had lain back down on her bed and was staring at the ceiling.

Martha looked at her long and hard and chose her words carefully. “Danielle, I wish you well.”

Danielle turned to face Martha and blinked her one eye several times. “You too.”

Martha turned to leave before the girl could see the tears welling in her eyes.

Please, Lord . . . help her to see the wonder of Your love.



Arnold closed the door behind them.




ARNOLD LEFT ON Thursday afternoon after having lunch with Katie Ann and Martha at Katie Ann’s house, and by Friday afternoon, Katie Ann could tell that Martha was ready to go back to her own home. She said she was feeling better and had gotten what she called her “Jonas fix.” And while Katie Ann loved having Martha stay with them, she was exhausted from tending to both her friend and her baby. She wasn’t sure which one was more demanding.

Arnold had driven Martha’s car to Katie Ann’s, then taken a cab to the airport, promising that he would be back soon and for good.

“Are you sure you can drive?” Katie Ann helped Martha get into her coat, hat, and gloves. It was snowing and cold outside. “I think it might be too soon, and the weather—”

“Katie Ann, you know how I feel about that extra bed of yours. I can only take it for so long. Besides, I’m only going around the corner.” She kissed Katie Ann on the cheek. “Tell my baby I will see him on Sunday. I’m going to stay home out of this weather and rest tomorrow.”

“I think that’s a gut idea.” Katie Ann waited until Martha’s car rounded the corner before she closed the door.

Lillian came over later that afternoon with Anna and Elizabeth, and Emily stopped by also, thinking that Martha was still there. After all her company left, Katie Ann settled in front of the fireplace with Jonas in her lap and reread Eli’s letter. She missed his smile, his laughter. As the fire crackled in the fireplace and the wind gently howled outside, Katie Ann wondered what he was doing. If he missed her at all.

The next morning, she heard a truck coming up the driveway. She finished feeding Jonas, laid him in the playpen near the fireplace, and went to the window. A Federal Express man was making his way through the snow and up to her porch.

“Danki,” she said as she accepted the small box.

“You’re welcome.” The young man with a black stocking cap and heavy coat chuckled. “It’s a cell phone, in case you didn’t know.” He paused, rubbing his gloved hands together.

“It’s been ringing in the truck on and off for the past two hours.”

Katie Ann didn’t know what to say, and the nice young fellow didn’t wait for a response before heading back to his truck.

Katie Ann hadn’t even closed the door when she heard the faint ring from inside the box. Smiling, she walked to the couch and hurriedly worked to open the package. Only one person she knew would send her a cell phone.


SATURDAY MORNING MARTHA eased into her recliner with a cup of coffee, her thoughts on Katie Ann. She was starting to lose hope for Eli Detweiler. Hard to have a romance when the fellow was in another state. But at least the two were writing to each other, so just maybe . . .

She noticed a pile of bills on her end table. There wasn’t a task she hated more than paying bills. She had plenty of money, more than the average person by far, but it was just a tedious chore. The piles seemed to be screaming at her as she sipped her coffee, so she eventually pulled her purse into her lap and took out her wallet, which also held her checkbook. She thought about Danielle. She’d been praying for the girl every night. That she’d be safe from whoever did harm to her, and that she’d put her trust in the Lord.

Martha hoped Danielle wouldn’t steal from anyone else. Some folks might not be as understanding about it as she’d been. She opened her wallet, pulled her pen from its spot, and wrote out a check to the gas company. Then she curiously unzipped the money compartment, wondering if Danielle had taken all sixty dollars.

Martha pulled three twenties from inside and sat holding them for a moment. Why didn’t she take it? She began to inspect the contents of her wallet, confused. Something had to be missing. What was it?

There were no checks missing. The cash was there. A book of stamps, several business cards she’d collected from local vendors. She drummed her fingers on the end table, holding the wallet with her other hand. She flipped through her credit cards, found her driver’s license, her AARP card, and even two extra bobby pins clipped next to her credit cards.

She took a deep breath. Maybe her mind was going. Everything seemed to be just as it should be.


BY THE TIME Katie Ann ripped open the box, the portable phone wasn’t ringing anymore. She picked it up and searched through the packing for a note, but the only thing besides the phone was what appeared to be an extra battery. She jumped when the phone rang again. She’d used a cell phone on rare occasions before, so she knew how they worked. This one flipped open.

“Hello.”

“Katie Ann! Gut, gut. You got the phone.”

“Eli?” She knew exactly who it was, but she was at a loss for words, so she waited for him to explain.

“I got your letter about Martha yesterday. I went right out and had this phone shipped overnight to you. I charged the batteries at the store before I shipped it.” He took a breath. “I realized that by the time you got my letters, then I got yours, well . . . too much time was passing. How is Martha?”

“Ach, she’s gut. It turned out to be a very small cyst.” She still couldn’t believe he had sent her a phone.

Katie Ann gave Eli the details of the past few days, even explaining about Arnold.

“Katie Ann, it’s so gut to hear your voice. And I couldn’t have you running out to the barn in bad weather to talk on the phone.” He paused. “Is this okay? I mean, the phone?”

“Lots of people have cell phones. Our bishop isn’t keen on the idea, but he doesn’t make much of a fuss. But the money, Eli . . .”

He laughed. “They have this thing called the family plan.

Only ten dollars! So now we’re family.”

Something about his statement warmed Katie Ann from head to toe. “I see.” She brought her hand to her chest, closed her eyes, and pictured his face.

“Katie Ann, I’m going to Jake and Laura Jane’s for supper.

I just wanted to make sure you got the phone.”

“Danki for the phone, Eli. You didn’t need to do that.” Katie Ann wondered how often he would call her, and if she would ever call him. She knew it would be easy enough to charge the phone at Martha’s house.

“Can I call you when I get home later?”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

After they hung up, Katie Ann warmed up some soup. As she sat on the couch eating it, she eyed the box in the corner of her living room. It was an indoor swing for Jonas that Lillian had given her as a gift recently. Lillian had told her that she used a swing when both Anna and Elizabeth were babies, and that it was a lifesaver. Samuel had offered to put it together, but her brother-in-law was so busy that Katie Ann assured him she could do the job.

It was later in the evening, once Jonas was settled, when she started to put the swing together. She searched for the right nuts and bolts to attach the legs of the swing. Even though she’d sorted the parts into piles, she was confused about the directions and frustrated. She jumped when the cell phone rang on the kitchen counter.

“Wie bischt?”

Katie Ann smiled when she heard Eli’s voice. “I’m gut, but I’m having trouble putting a swing together for Jonas. How was your supper with Jake and Laura Jane?”

“Laura Jane invites me to supper when she makes chicken and wafers, my favorite. What’s the problem with the swing?”

“Too many nuts and bolts.” She waited awhile for a response, but nothing. “Eli?”

Silence.

She pulled the phone away from her ear and realized the battery was dead. She picked up the extra battery Eli had sent but couldn’t figure out where to install it. She tinkered with the phone, then opened the instruction book that had come in the box with the phone. After about fifteen frustrating minutes, she had the other battery installed.

Ten minutes later Eli called again. “Dead battery, no?”

His voice was light and cheerful, but Katie Ann was annoyed by her own inability to handle such simple functions in a timely manner. First the swing, now the phone.

“Ya. Sorry it took me so long. I had to get out the instruction book.”

“I wish I was there to put that swing together for you.

What about Samuel?”

“Ach, he offered, but I was sure it would be no problem.”

She sighed as she eased onto the couch and curled her feet beneath her. She pulled a small afghan onto her lap. “I’ll finish it tomorrow.”

From there, she and Eli settled into a comfortable conversation. He told her that he was not going to Indiana because of the weather, and had decided to go to Florida instead, but not until after Christmas. Katie Ann told him more about the pot holders she’d been quilting and a cookbook she was putting together.

“It keeps me busy late at night if I can’t sleep.” She leaned her head back against the couch, tired but knowing sleep wouldn’t come anytime soon, and she would rather talk with Eli than sleep anyway. She smiled as she thought about what Lillian and Martha would think if they knew she was casually chatting on the phone with Eli.

“I have a hard time sleeping too.” He paused. “I never used to have trouble sleeping. Do you think it’s because we’re getting old?” He chuckled.

“Ya. I guess so.” Katie Ann pulled the phone from her ear for a moment, making sure it was still lit up. “How long will this battery last?”

“It should last a couple of days.”

Katie Ann smiled.

And she spent the next several hours on the phone with Eli, discussing everything from his Florida plans to her desire to someday sell her handmade goods. Eli encouraged her and told her that she could do anything she wanted to do. Ivan had said that her efforts would produce little income and she’d be wasting her time. But finishing a handmade pot holder or throw quilt gave her a sense of satisfaction, like she was being fruitful. And she was building up quite a collection. It might not ever amount to much, but it made her happy, and Eli’s encouragement warmed her heart.

She didn’t think she’d ever enjoyed a conversation more than this one, and during the weeks to follow, their phone calls became a nightly thing. Every couple of days she would charge the phone at Martha’s house, even if it meant taking a few minutes of ribbing from her friend. Katie Ann found herself sharing even the smallest details about her day. And when Jake and Laura Jane’s baby was born—Eli’s seventh grandchild— Eli called her from the hospital, more excited than ever about the new blessing.

He truly was her best friend, and while she knew friends had the capacity to hurt one another, there was something safe about her relationship with Eli. And every time she fantasized about something more than friendship with him, she forced the idea away because she realized that God was answering her prayers—in His way.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Katie Ann asked God to forgive her for doubting Him and for the distance she’d put between them. She sought to trust again, and the Lord had opened a new door. It might not have been what she expected, but her friendship with Eli was proving to be a gift from God.


WHEN ELI SHOWED up on her doorstep two days before Christmas, Katie Ann jumped into his arms without hesitation.

“What are you doing here?” She pulled from the embrace and coaxed him inside and out of the icy weather. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Eli’s smile stretched across his handsome face. “Because I just decided to come this morning—I flew! Besides, it was worth it to see you so surprised.”

Katie Ann laughed aloud. “I can’t believe you did this.”

She’d already mailed him a hand-stitched black vest for Christmas, which he had received and told her fit perfectly.

He’d sent her a parenting book that focused on the toddler years, later laughing and telling her to be prepared—that it was a wonderful time but could be challenging. And he’d sent a Bible storybook for Jonas.

Eli moved across the living room to where Jonas was tucked into his swing and sleeping soundly. “I had one of those swings for Maureen. She loved it.” He gazed down at Jonas, then back at Katie Ann. “I have to go back tomorrow. Mei kinner would be mighty upset if I wasn’t there for Christmas. But I just had to see you.” He pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Katie Ann made no effort to leave the safety of his strong arms.

Finally he eased away and gazed into her eyes. “You look beautiful.”

She covered her eyes with her hands. “I do not.”

Eli gently pulled her hands away. “Trust me, you do.”

Trust. Not so long ago, the word would have stung, been a reminder of all she’d lost.

As their eyes stayed locked together, Katie Ann wished she knew what was going on in Eli’s mind and in his heart. They’d gotten so close that under normal circumstances, it would have seemed normal for them to take the next step past friendship. But they both knew that they were not going to make that leap.

“Do Vera and Elam know you’re here?” Katie Ann walked to Jonas’s swing and cranked the handle so that the swing would keep going.

“They do now. I asked the cabdriver to stop by there on my way here.” He laughed. “I had to make sure I had a place to stay tonight.”

By now everyone knew that the two of them talked on a regular basis. But Katie Ann wondered what Vera must be thinking about Eli’s spontaneous trip to Canaan—by plane, no less.

Eli gently eased Jonas out of the swing. Katie Ann would have reprimanded anyone else for waking him up like that, but as Eli held Jonas up and gazed into his eyes, it was a precious sight that she knew she would cherish.

“How is mei little man?” Eli talked in the familiar baby talk to Jonas, and Katie Ann knew that Eli’s arrival was by far the best Christmas gift she’d ever received.

They sat on the couch talking and drinking hot tea until the early morning hours, then Eli kissed her tenderly on the mouth and went to Vera’s, telling her that he would be leaving early in the morning to catch a plane back to Middlefield. Katie Ann still couldn’t believe he’d made the trip. Just to see her.

He’d even sought permission from his bishop to do so, since air travel was normally frowned upon unless it was an emergency.

“It was an emergency,” Eli had told her earlier in the evening. Although he admitted that the bishop in his district didn’t have a stiff rule against flying.

She held her tears until the door closed behind him. And for the first time, she admitted to herself—she was in love with Eli Detweiler. In love with a man who wasn’t available.


ELI HAD PLENTY of time to think on the plane. He thought back to yesterday morning when he realized he had to see Katie Ann. It was an unfamiliar sensation that he knew wouldn’t go away until he laid eyes on her. He admitted to himself at that moment that he had fallen in love with Katie Ann Stoltzfus.


And now that he’d spent more time with her, his feelings were confirmed.

He closed his eyes, the vision of her clouding his senses, blocking the roar of the engine and the light chatter around him. His heart ached, and for a few minutes he allowed himself to visualize a life with Katie Ann and Jonas. He was happiest when he was with her. But he’d made plans. And he’d had those plans a lot longer than he’d known her.

Fearing he’d taken too much of a risk with his heart—and possibly hers—he wondered if it might not be best to pull back some. She had to know they were in a dangerous place, to be as close as they were and not be able to move forward. Or maybe she was happy like this. Eli had thought it was the perfect arrangement. Best friends with a beautiful woman whom he was not responsible for.

Funny thing was—he felt as responsible for her and Jonas as he did any other member of his family.

He unzipped the backpack he’d carried onto the plane and pulled out a brochure about Florida, resolved that he would go there right after Christmas. He was going to need something to distract his heart, and what better way than to pursue the life he’d planned out. Flipping through the pages, he forced Katie Ann out of his mind.