The Wonder of Your Love

Sixteen




KATIE ANN WAS THANKFUL FOR THE FOUR DAYS SHE had with Eli, even though her feelings were more unresolved than ever before. They had spent each day together and into the evening. At night, Eli would kiss her tenderly and go to Vera and Elam’s house to sleep. It had been magical.

But right now, Lillian was watching Jonas, and Katie Ann’s furry friend needed her help. Katie Ann had witnessed enough calf births to know that things were not going well for Mrs. Dash. As she knelt down on the hay in the corner of the barn, she stroked the cat’s head and spoke softly. It was the first time Mrs. Dash had let Katie Ann touch her, and the animal’s eyes were glassy, barely open.

“It’s okay, girl. You can do this.”

When the first kitten was born, Katie Ann watched Mrs. Dash clean the animal, but Katie Ann’s stomach lurched when she realized that the tiny creature wasn’t breathing. Mrs. Dash worked to free the new baby of afterbirth, but when it was time to deliver the next one, she simply pushed it aside. Katie Ann tried massaging the small kitten’s stomach, unsure what to do. Nothing. The second kitten and the third kitten, also lifeless. No, no.

When the fourth kitten, the smallest one of all, solid black like its mother, was born, Katie Ann watched Mrs. Dash work to clear the mucus from the animal’s face. Katie Ann started to cry when this animal also lay lifeless before her. “I’m so sorry, girl. I’m so very sorry.”

She stared into the cat’s eyes, wondering if the pain of death was as horrible for an animal as it was for a human. If the tale were told through the eyes of Mrs. Dash, Katie Ann would have to say yes. The new mother nudged each of her babies over and over again. She cleaned them as their little bodies tumbled at her touch, as if she could bring them to life with love. Katie Ann prayed silently for all of them.

Even knowing she had to pick up Jonas from Lillian and catch a plane, she couldn’t bring herself to leave. She didn’t want to leave the cat—with all of this. She rubbed Mrs. Dash’s head, and the cat leaned in toward Katie Ann, then looked up at her. Katie Ann rubbed her head as flashes of her sister lying still and lifeless in the crib shook her.

Then there was a movement. The tiny black kitten moved. Or did it? Katie Ann picked up the little body and moved it closer to its mother. Mrs. Dash worked her tongue across the new baby, and seconds later the little one breathed in life. She watched for as long as she could without missing her plane. “Take care of your little one,” she said as she gently touched the new mother on the head.

Mrs. Dash leaned her head back and found the top of Katie Ann’s hand. Katie Ann stayed perfectly still as the cat’s tongue, like sandpaper, swept across her hand in loving strokes of thanks.


KATIE ANN SAT on the plane headed toward Lancaster County with Jonas in her lap, her mind reeling with what-ifs.

Eli had told her that he would see her again soon, and he’d also invited her to visit him in Ohio. She’d declined, for the moment at least, knowing she had this trip to Lancaster County to make and unsure how she was going to feel when she returned. She was hoping to get her business taken care of in a couple of days, although she was looking forward to seeing Ivan’s brother and two sisters, along with their families.

Arnold had arrived in Canaan before Katie Ann left, and Martha was busy helping him get settled in his new home. And Martha and Danielle were getting to know each other, and although Katie Ann couldn’t imagine the two living together, Martha said she felt called to watch over the girl, at least for a while.

She’d tried to ignore the curious stares at the airport, and even now on the plane. Once she got back in Lancaster County, heavily populated with Amish folks, there wouldn’t be as many curious sets of eyes. Katie Ann had flown twice before, both times for funerals. The bishop in Canaan frowned upon air travel, unless it was necessary. She found it curious how lenient Eli’s bishop was about his travels.

As she laid her head back against the seat, she realized that Eli hadn’t mentioned taking any more trips. She wondered what his home in Middlefield looked like and if she’d ever see it.

And she wondered when she would see him again.


ELI SPENT THE days following his return from Canaan staying busy around his house. He’d made repairs to the fence in the far pasture, put a fresh coat of paint on the woodshed, cleaned the barn, and repaired the passenger door on his buggy.

Busy. He had to stay occupied to keep his mind off Katie Ann. He’d come mighty close to telling her how much he loved her more than once, especially when they parted ways this last time. But Katie Ann had much on her mind, and he knew it would be difficult for her to travel back to Lancaster County to settle her husband’s affairs. So many times he’d wondered what kind of man would leave a woman like Katie Ann. He would spend the rest of his life loving her, given the chance. But he knew his children and grandchildren wouldn’t hear of him leaving, and she had created a new life for herself in Canaan. He wondered if she would consider moving to Ohio.

Even though these thoughts filled Eli’s mind, the plans he’d made for years kept bumping around in his head.

He carried a bucket of feed across the snow toward the barn. It was a dreary day, filled with gray clouds and the threat of more snow. He thought about Canaan and how the sun was always shining there, even after a hard snow, lighting the white peaks as if by rays from heaven. And something about the way the Sangre de Cristo and San Juan Mountains hugged the San Luis Valley in a protective embrace made him see why folks would want to live there. The Amish community in Canaan was small, but Katie Ann had told him that the population had more than doubled in the past year, with more and more folks migrating to the area for cheaper land and more room to spread out.

Eli was walking back to the house when he heard hooves padding up the driveway. He turned to see three buggies pulling in, the first of which he recognized as his oldest daughter’s. Hannah’s horse, Midnight, was a fine animal and easily recognizable with his tall steady gait and coat so black it looked almost midnight blue. Eli pushed back his black jacket and looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders.

Ida Mae was in the buggy with Hannah, and Karen and Frieda were in the next one. Bringing up the rear was his baby girl, Maureen. Whenever all his girls convened like this, something was afoot.

“Wie bischt,” he said, greeting them as they made their way across the yard to the front porch, each one toting a casserole dish or bag. It wasn’t unusual for his daughters to keep him supplied with casseroles and freshly baked goods, but they didn’t make a habit of all arriving at the same time. “Dare I ask what brings all my lovely dochders here today?”

Hannah glanced at Ida Mae and shrugged as they brushed past him and toward the porch steps. “Just wanted to visit our daed.”

Sure you did.

He walked alongside his other daughters toward the house. Was Jake ever invited to these sessions, he wondered, or did his son just have enough gut sense to decline?

“I brought you a chicken and rice casserole,” Maureen said as she placed a dish on Eli’s kitchen table.

Flashbacks of eating the same casserole with Katie Ann on her couch played in his mind.

“And I made you some fresh granola, Daed.” Karen put a Tupperware container next to the casserole.

His other three daughters all unloaded more food— chicken noodle soup that Frieda said could be frozen, two loaves of bread from Ida Mae, and a chocolate shoofly pie from Hannah.

“Danki, danki. I won’t go hungry, no?” He smiled at all his girls, knowing something was coming.

Hannah must have been awarded the job of speaker.

“Daed, Aenti Vera called, and . . .”

Eli shook his head. He loved his cousin’s wife, but that woman could stir things up more than any female he’d ever known, except maybe for his own daughters. “And what did Aenti Vera have to share?” He eased into a kitchen chair, sighing as he waited.

Hannah sat down across from him. “Daed, she said you’ve become very close with Katie Ann.” She glanced around the room at her sisters. “And we were just wondering if you are going to end up moving to Canaan.”

Eli was smiling on the inside, even though he tried to stifle his joy in front of his girls. They did need him. He should have known they would be afraid that he would leave them to move to Colorado.

“No worries, mei dochders. I’m not going anywhere.” Although the moment he said it, his heart sank. Confusing. He glanced at each of his girls. Also confusing. Each one of them was frowning. “What is wrong with all of you?”

Frieda and Karen sat down too, and Karen spoke up. “We were just hoping you’d found true love.” She batted her eyes a few times, and Eli wasn’t sure what to say. “We want you to be happy, Daed. We thought maybe Katie Ann was the one.”

“You want me to move?” Eli recalled how he’d raised each and every one of them. Now they didn’t need him anymore?

“Of course we don’t want you to move, but we don’t want you staying, either . . . because of us.” Karen reached over and touched his hand. “We all have husbands to take care of us now.”

The statement hurt, but he forced a smile.

Maureen, the newest bride and still filled with romance, spoke next. “Do you love her, Daed?”

It was a conversation no Amish man should be having with his grown daughters, but he answered truthfully. “I love her very much.”

“Yay!” Maureen jumped up and down, and all his girls laughed and clapped.

“We’re so happy for you, Daed,” Ida Mae said. “We didn’t think you would really travel the world like you planned.”

“I did,” Eli mumbled, even though traveling didn’t hold the allure it once did.

“Do you think Katie Ann and her son would consider moving here to Middlefield?” Maureen brought her hands to her chest.

Katie Ann had been through so much, and she seemed settled and happy in her new world. Eli envisioned a life with Katie Ann, surrounded by the mountains, sunshine most days, and—the baby. He would be Jonas’s father if Katie Ann would have him. With his children’s blessings all around him, he couldn’t help but get excited about the possibility of being with Katie Ann and Jonas in Colorado. “I think we would be best to live in Canaan.”

“We would miss you so much, Daed,” Karen said. “But you’ve given to each and every one of us, over and over again. We will support any decision you make.”

“Danki, girls.” Eli narrowed his brows. “And what does your bruder think about this?”

“Jake agrees with us,” Hannah said.

Eli rubbed his chin and wondered how hard it would be to be away from his children—and his grandchildren. Could he really do that?

But could he really live without Katie Ann?


MARTHA KNOCKED ON Arnold’s front door.

“Why don’t you use the key I gave you?” Arnold lifted one eyebrow as he stepped back so Martha could enter.

“Easier to knock.” Truth was, it felt odd to walk into Arnold’s home unannounced. Rumors were flying that Arnold was going to propose. He’d been caught browsing among the rings at a jewelry store in Monte Vista. Vera told Martha she’d seen him when she was on her way to the post office, and from that point, everyone in the Amish community seemed to know. And that was okay. Martha didn’t mind being the center of attention. But she wondered how Danielle fit into this scenario. Poor girl didn’t have any parents, and her ex-boyfriend was certainly a thug. She couldn’t turn her out on the street. While she couldn’t say she was bonding with the girl, she did feel protective of her.

“How is it going with Danielle?” Arnold sat down on the couch while Martha sat down in Arnold’s recliner. She loved the way he always insisted she sit in his favorite chair.

“Funny you should mention that.” Martha squared her jaw and leaned her head forward a bit. “Do you know I think that girl could sleep fourteen hours a day if I didn’t get her up? And, Arnold, you know I like my junk food, but she survives on it. She ate all my Fritos before I even had a one. And sodas . . . she’ll drink them back-to-back all day long.” Martha took a breath. “And she’s a slob. Throws her clothes everywhere, leaves plates and food in her room, and her clothing . . .” Martha rolled her eyes. “And did I mention that she’s lazy?”

Arnold chuckled. “Sounds exactly like most of the teenagers I’ve known.”

“None of my Amish family has teenagers that act like that.”

Arnold nodded. Martha knew that Arnold and his son had fallen on bad terms until shortly before Greg died. Arnold said he would be forever thankful that they mended their ways.

“Were you a part of Greg’s life when he was a teenager?”

“Yes. I was. They are difficult years.”

He shook his head, which made Martha wonder if he’d take on Danielle in the marriage proposal too. She wasn’t about to ask.

“Where is Danielle at now—home?”

Martha sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Yes, I suppose her home is my home. And that’s where she’s at. I’m hoping she’ll look for a job. Not that money is an issue. But I need her out of the house sometimes. She interrupts my schedule.” She crossed her legs. “I have my certain shows that I like to watch on TV. I like to eat supper at exactly seven o’clock. And I don’t like anyone else running bathwater at the same time I am. I lose water pressure.”

“How long are you planning to let her stay?”

Ah. There was the question. Maybe Arnold was waiting to propose until he found out exactly how long she’d be housing the teenager.

Martha shrugged. “I have no idea.”


DANIELLE KICKED HER feet up on Martha’s ottoman while she stretched out in Martha’s comfy chair. She was sure the woman would have a heart attack if she saw her sitting so smug in the worn-out recliner. After rubbing some jasmine vanilla lotion on her hands, she clicked the television on. For such a big house, this was the only TV, and Martha always controlled the remote. She flipped through the channels, but after a few minutes she hit the Off button. There wasn’t anything good on this time of the afternoon, and besides . . . she couldn’t concentrate.

It was only a matter of time before Martha found out she was lying, and then she’d throw her out for sure. And there was no way she was going back to her old life. She reached up and touched the scar on her cheek. The doctor said it would fade over time, but Danielle wasn’t sure she’d ever really heal.

She replayed the scene in her mind, wondering what she’d done to provoke it. Closing her eyes, she could almost feel the blows to her face, particularly the curled fist with the chunky gold ring that caught her upper cheek and eye. She’d known when she smelled the whiskey and saw the staggering, she should have run. As she’d done more than once before.

She glanced around Martha’s house. The woman annoyed her to no end with her rules about housecleaning and eating at a certain time, and she had zero sense of fashion—evidenced not only by her own bizarre clothing, but also by her house décor. Danielle looked at the picture of the owls hanging above an outdated red and gold couch and shook her head.

But Danielle liked being here better than any other place on Earth. It was the only place she’d ever felt safe. So even if she wanted to yank that ridiculous butterfly clip from Martha’s scraggly hair sometimes . . . or just for once have the remote control, eat in her bed upstairs, or not be restricted about when she could bathe—some things were worth forgoing. And one thing Danielle knew for sure. Martha would never hit her. She could just tell.

The woman was crabby and a nuisance, but Danielle hoped she wouldn’t send her away.

She jumped when someone knocked at the door, then panic set in. She figured she would spend the rest of her days here worrying that she’d been found. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but when she peeked around the curtain in the living room, she saw a buggy and a horse, so she knew it was one of those Amish people coming to visit Martha. They were as strange as Martha, dressed in their funky clothes and living in houses with no electricity. She’d never seen an Amish person until some of them visited Martha in the hospital. She’d also gone with Martha to Katie Ann’s house a couple of times. Danielle couldn’t believe they lived like that.

“Martha’s not here,” she said when she opened the front door. Then she studied the figure before her. If ever there was a hot Amish guy, he was standing in front of her in his black pants, black coat, and one of those funky black hats.

“That’s okay. Can you give her this?” He held up a brown paper bag, but Danielle was still summing him up. He reminded her of some of the hockey players back home—tall and athletic, although he wasn’t missing any teeth.

“Sure,” she finally said as she accepted the bag.

“I’m Levi Detweiler.” Mr. Handsome extended his hand, and Danielle slowly latched on. “My mom is a friend of Martha’s, and she asked me to bring her this rhubarb jam. I think Martha goes into withdrawal or something if she runs out.” He almost smiled. One side of his mouth curved up, but it was brief.

“You wanna come in?” Danielle paused. “I mean, Martha will probably be back soon, if you want to wait.”

He grimaced a little. “Is anyone else here?”

Danielle felt her heart skip a beat. Why would he ask that? Would he hurt her in some way if she said no one was home? “Uh, no. But I just remembered Martha will be back any minute.”

“I gotta go. Nice to meet you.”

Danielle watched him leave. He was intriguing, almost in a creepy sort of way. He had those weird clothes that soft voice, and his mouth was crooked in a way that made it hard to tell if he was smiling or angry. But she didn’t think she’d ever seen a hotter-looking guy.


“LEVI’S THE QUIET one,” Martha said as she plopped a bag of groceries on the table. “A fine fellow. His brother, Jacob, got married about a year ago, and his sister Emily just got married this past November. I guess Levi’s still looking for his someone special.” She pulled a frozen pizza out of the bag, along with some Fritos and a six-pack of soda, and put them all on the table. “We’re splurging on junk food tonight, but don’t get used to it, missy. I just don’t feel like cooking.”

“I’ll be his someone special,” Danielle said as she pulled the bag of Fritos open. “He’s hot.”

Martha put her hands on her hips. “That is no way for a nice girl to talk, Danielle.”

Danielle chuckled. “You’re kidding me, right? Just yesterday I heard you say the mailman had nice buns.”

“Are you familiar with the expression ‘Do as I say and not as I do’?” She reached up and tightened her butterfly clip.

“Well, the Amish guy sure was cute. Levi. I asked him to come in, but he got kinda weird about it. Then I thought maybe he might be dangerous or something.”

Martha cackled. “Dangerous? Levi? Uh, no. He didn’t come in the house while you were here alone because it wouldn’t be proper.”

“I think Amish people are weird.”

Martha pointed a crooked finger at her. “There will be no talk like that in this house. There’s no finer group of folks.”

Danielle shrugged. “Whatever.”

Martha stared at her for a moment, then shook her head. “I’m going to heat this pizza. Now would be a good time to shower if you want.”

Danielle started to argue that she’d prefer to take a shower closer to bedtime, but the woman had bought pizza, Fritos, and soda for dinner, so she’d go along with her on this. “Okay.” She crossed through the living room toward the stairs, then turned around. “Martha?”

“What?”

Danielle waited until she turned around. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Martha rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Danielle grinned as she headed up the stairs.


MARTHA WAITED UNTIL the oven heated up before she popped in the frozen supreme pizza. Arnold was going to the gym in town this evening, something he’d started doing twice a week. He said it helped his arthritis. She’d made it pretty clear that she had no plans to join him in that particular activity. Exercise made her nauseous. Besides, she was hoping maybe she and Danielle could chat a little. It bothered Martha that Danielle had no interest in God. Only once since their stay in the hospital had Martha broached the subject, and the girl turned red and marched upstairs. Danielle seemed angry with God. A few years ago Martha would have let it go. But when Arnold, Emily, and David opened her heart to the Lord, her life had changed. She wanted that for Danielle too.

But one thing she was learning about teenagers—if they think you want them to do something, they will do the exact opposite. So Martha knew she needed to approach the subject carefully. She smiled, recalling how she had to find the Lord in her own time, knowing that everything ultimately happens on God’s timetable.

She’d just shoved a handful of Fritos into her mouth when she heard a car pull up. No one she recognized, and from the looks of it . . . no one she knew. A woman dressed in tan slacks and a dark brown coat held her hand in front of her face to block the light snow flurries. Martha had the door open by the time she was about to knock.

She was an attractive woman, midthirties, Martha guessed. She wasn’t smiling.

“Are you Martha Dobbs?”

Martha gave her a critical squint. “Who wants to know?”

“I’m—I’m looking for someone. I think she might be here. My name’s Vivian Kent.”

Martha raised her chin and eyeballed the woman for a moment. “Who ya looking for?”

Vivian pulled a photograph from her purse. “Have you seen this girl?”

Martha stared at the picture of Danielle. “Who are you to her?”

“I’m her mother.”