The Wonder of Your Love

Ten




LUCY SAT DOWN AT HER KITCHEN TABLE WITH ALL of her bills in front of her. For the first time since Ivan’s death, she wasn’t afraid to sort through them, and she knew she would have enough money to pay them all. Thanks to Katie Ann.

She didn’t recognize the envelope on the top of the pile addressed to Ivan, and she instantly wondered if it might have something to do with the mystery house. She ripped into it, but it was only an advertisement for landscaping supplies. Tossing it aside, she laid her head down on the table and wept. She wondered if the crying would ever stop. It had been months since Ivan’s death, but she couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that he was never coming back. He was the only man she’d ever loved, and her life seemed pointless at the moment. She rubbed her belly, then cried even harder.

After a few minutes she forced herself to sit up and focus on the bills, reminding herself that things could be much worse. If it hadn’t been for Katie Ann’s generosity, Lucy wasn’t sure what she would have done. She still couldn’t get over the fact that Ivan’s wife had given her money—a substantial amount of money that would enable her to stay afloat until she found the house that she hoped existed. She was sure there had to be a house somewhere. Nothing pleased Ivan more than to surprise her, and that was the only explanation for why his money was gone from their account and there was a picture of a house and two keys in his cedar box.

She’d driven the countryside looking for the white house with black shutters, surrounded by a white picket fence, but she hadn’t found anything.

After taking a deep breath, she pulled the mortgage bill from the envelope. A mortgage she couldn’t afford on her own. She’d barely signed the check when someone knocked at the door, and she hurriedly swiped at her puffy eyes. It had been almost a week since she’d even put any makeup on.

She looked through the peephole to see a uniformed man, a cop. The last time a police officer showed up at her door, it was to tell her that Ivan was dead.

She eased the door open, no longer concerned about her puffy eyes or the tears now streaming down her cheeks. “Yes?” She sniffled, pushing back a strand of hair.

“Ma’am, are you okay?”

She put her hand across her stomach. “I don’t know. I guess it depends on what you’re doing here.”

“Lucy Turner?”

“That’s me.”

“I’m sorry, but this is a court summons.” He pushed an envelope toward her before he slowly turned and walked away.

She closed the door, sat back down at the table, and stared at the unopened envelope, wondering which credit card was suing her. Katie Ann’s gift hadn’t come in time, and she wondered how she was ever going to make it. She’d called a realtor the day before, and even though the woman said she thought she could sell the house quickly, Lucy knew she didn’t have enough equity to afford anything else—barely a small apartment to raise her child in.

She lowered her head and did something she rarely did.

She prayed. But no sooner had she asked God to help her than a sharp pain seared across her abdomen, and within minutes she felt her water break. Gasping, she rushed to the phone to call her boss at the café, her only real friend. As she dialed the number, another sharp pain almost brought her to her knees.

She knew it was way too early to be in labor. She didn’t know if God really existed, but if He did, this must be His punishment for her living with another woman’s husband.


KATIE ANN WAS thrilled to meet some of the Amish women in Alamosa, and as she browsed through the shop owned by an Amish widow, she felt a sense of hope. Maybe someday she could own a shop like this in Canaan, even if on a much smaller scale. She could make all kinds of handmade items— pot holders, lap quilts, soaps, dolls, and even jams and jellies.


Maybe her nephew David would put a few pieces of his furniture in her store. He’d recently acquired a furniture store in town, and he was a fine craftsman.

Katie Ann loved being a mother, but she couldn’t help but fantasize about providing goods for the few tourists who found their way to Canaan, and perhaps even for the local Englisch folks.

“How long have you lived in Alamosa?” Katie Ann picked up a business card holder with an Amish buggy etched on the front. Before the woman could answer, she asked, “Who made this? It’s lovely.”

“Danki. Mei sohn did.”

Katie Ann put the card holder back on the shelf, wondering how old the woman’s son was. By the time Jonas was old enough to help Katie Ann with a shop, she figured she might be too old to take on such a project. The woman excused herself to tend to another customer, and Katie Ann scanned the shop until she found Eli, who was carrying Jonas, and Wayne.

Her eyes stayed glued on Eli as she watched him tenderly shift Jonas from one shoulder to the other. But the longer she stared at him, the more she saw Ivan, and as the image of Eli returned, she reminded herself that no matter how wonderful Eli might seem, trust would not come easy for her.

And as hard as it was to trust Eli, she was having an equally hard time trusting God’s plan for her life. She prayed the same amount of time that she always had, but she knew her communion with God was not the same. To hear Him, to know Him, and to understand the wonder of His love—one must trust Him completely.

“See anything you can’t live without?” Wayne asked as he and Eli walked up to her. She cleared her thoughts and shook her head.

“No. But they have some finely crafted goods here.” She smiled, focusing again on Eli with her precious Jonas. “Want me to take him?”

“Only if you want to. I think he’s happy looking at the manlier items in the back of the store, like the workbench.” He winked at Katie Ann before he looked back at the baby. “Aren’t you, Jonas?”

Katie Ann couldn’t help but smile at the tender tone of voice Eli used with her son. “Are you fellows ready?”

“Ya. Jonas is hungry.” Eli grinned, and Katie Ann laughed.

“Jonas is hungry? Did he tell you this?” She glanced at the clock on the wall and knew it would be time to nurse him soon. And her stomach was growling more than normal for this time of morning.

Eli held his head close to Jonas. “Ya, I’ll tell your mommy that you’d like some pancakes or maybe an early lunch. I think the Englisch call it brunch.”

“Give me mei boppli before you confuse him with all your silliness.” She gently eased Jonas from Eli’s arms.

They were almost out of the store when Eli stopped and took a final look around. “I always wanted to own a place like this. Maybe something smaller, but still like this.”

He smiled at Katie Ann, but she stood motionless. God’s timing had never seemed more off.


MARTHA JOTTED DOWN the details of her surgery as the nurse on the phone rattled them off.

“Are you sure I can’t eat breakfast? Because I’m not going to be in a very good mood when I show up at your hospital at seven o’clock in the morning hungry. I have cereal and a muffin every morning at six thirty. I really don’t like to miss my breakfast.”

She rolled her eyes when the woman insisted that she couldn’t have breakfast that morning, nor could she eat anything the night before after midnight. Surgery was scheduled for the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, and even though her appetite had been declining, Martha didn’t like to be told when she could eat.

“Fine.” She forced herself to thank the woman for calling, since she was working on being nicer. If her time was coming, she wanted God’s most recent memories of her behavior to be good ones.

After she hung up the phone, she got comfortable in her chair and thought about Katie Ann. She sure hoped that girl was having fun with Eli, and she wished there was some way to get that man to stay longer. She’d plotted and planned in her mind, but every time a lie for the good of all concerned came to mind, she was reminded that God was watching and her time was drawing to an end.

She arched a brow and glanced up. “I won’t pull any tricks to get that man to hang around, but, Lord, I sure hope You can see Your way clear for him to stay. He needs to fall in love with Katie Ann and take care of her and that baby.”

She picked up the newspaper and flipped the pages until she came to the obituaries. Using a red pen, she circled the ones that were nicely written and drew an X across the ones that didn’t do justice to the deceased. She wanted to write her own obituary, to make sure it was done correctly, but that seemed a little over the top. Instead, she’d give her recommendations to Katie Ann and pray her friend could get it right.

“Lord, I’m going to miss Katie Ann and that precious baby.”

She leaned her head back against the chair, resolved she wouldn’t cry. If it hadn’t been for Emily and David—and Arnold—she might not have found her way to God. She’d grown close to Emily and David last year when they were doing some work at her house, and those kids had such a strong faith, she couldn’t help but be curious. Arnold drove it on home. The man’s faith in God was amazing, and when Martha opened her heart to the Lord, nothing had been the same. She knew exactly where she was going when she left this world, but she sure was going to miss everyone here.


IT WAS NEARING dark when Wayne pulled into Katie Ann’s driveway. Jonas was screaming, and had been for most of the drive back from Alamosa. They’d stopped twice during the short drive back—once for Katie Ann to change the baby’s diaper, and the other time for her to rub his tummy, thinking maybe he was having stomach problems again. Nothing worked.

“I’ll get the carrier. You get Jonas in the haus.” Eli held the car door open while Katie Ann got Jonas out of his car seat, then stepped out of the car, thanking Wayne for driving. Eli settled with Wayne and followed her inside.

She paced the floor with the baby while Eli offered to get the percolator going. Jonas was soon fast asleep in Katie Ann’s arms, and she worried that she shouldn’t have had him out all day again. They’d hit several more shops in the area and eaten two meals while they were out. Tiptoeing, she eased down the hall to Jonas’s room and laid him in his crib.

When she returned to the living room, Eli met her with a cup of coffee.

“I feel like a terrible mother. I shouldn’t have had him out and about so much today.”

Eli sat down on the couch, and Katie Ann sat down beside him.

“You’re a gut mudder, Katie Ann. But I imagine the boppli is tuckered out.”

She took a sip of her coffee. “It was probably too long a day for him.”

“I hauled Maureen everywhere with me from the time she was born.” Eli took a sip of his coffee. “Did you have a gut time today?”

“Very much.” She’d brought back all kinds of knickknacks for Lillian, Vera, Emily, and Beth Ann, and of course something extra special for Martha—a quilt for a single bed, with scripture readings all over it. Katie Ann hoped Martha would take it to the hospital with her when she went to have her surgery.

She put her coffee on the table in front of them. “I need to light some lanterns before we’re sitting in the dark.”

Eli touched her arm. “You sit and rest. I’ll light the lanterns.” Then he rubbed her arm in a way that made Katie Ann want to curl up in his arms. It had been so long since she’d felt loved, she wished she could pretend, just for a while.

He knew where the lanterns were, and as she watched him light each one, she allowed herself a few moments to fantasize about what it would be like to have Eli around all the time. But before the vision could come full circle, she imagined him leaving her. They weren’t even a couple, but Katie Ann could see him walking out on her.

Tomorrow he would go home, as planned. And Katie Ann was sure this was a good thing, before she got too attached.

A minute later, Eli sat back down on the couch. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Katie Ann blinked her eyes a couple of times. “Like what?”

She hoped her expression didn’t reveal her thoughts, how she wanted for him to hold her in his arms, even if it wasn’t love.

Even if it wasn’t real.

Eli gazed into her eyes, and Katie Ann felt like she might cry, for reasons that confused and embarrassed her. As a woman, she found herself desiring Eli in a way that wasn’t appropriate. She’d been a married woman for many years, and as such, she knew the comfort of a man’s embrace. The kiss they’d shared began to replay in her mind, and she wondered if Eli was thinking about it too.

After a few moments Eli shrugged. “I don’t know. You were just looking at me like . . .” He shrugged again, then smiled.

“Never mind.”

Katie Ann felt comfortable sitting on the couch with Eli as orange sparks shimmied up the fireplace and shadows from the lanterns danced around the room. It took everything in her power not to move closer to him. If only she could lean her head on his chest, listen to his heart, and have him wrap his arms around her. That was all she needed.

She felt a wave of goose bumps run the length of her body when he grabbed her hand in his.

“Katie Ann . . .”

His smile was sensuous, and for a moment she wondered if his intentions would exceed her needs. She couldn’t allow him to kiss her again, but every part of her wanted him to. She swallowed hard as he finished his sentence.

“Meeting you has been the best part of my trip here.” He gently squeezed her hand.

She knew she was in a dangerous place, longing and desiring a man who wasn’t available, but it would be hard to say goodbye to him.

“I’ve enjoyed our time together,” she finally said. “Danki for taking me and Jonas on your sightseeing trips.”

He eased his hand away from hers, stroked his beard, and locked his eyes with hers. Katie Ann braced herself for whatever he was about to say. She took a deep breath.

“Katie Ann . . .”

“Ya?”

“Are you hungry?”

She grinned, relieved, but slightly disappointed for some unknown reason. “I’m guessing you are, no?”

His smile broadened. “Maybe a sandwich?”

“I think I can do better than that. I have some leftover stew in the freezer that won’t take long to heat up.”

Eli rubbed his belly. “I can’t believe I didn’t eat it all when I was here before. Is it too much trouble?”

She stood up, a bit hungry herself. “Not at all. I’ll just run it under some warm water and put it on the burner to heat.”

“And I’ll keep our fire going.” Eli walked to the fireplace and glanced at the wood in the carrier. “Only one log left. I’ll go carry in some more.” He walked toward the door, and Katie Ann nodded as she moved toward the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later they were back on the couch with bowls of stew in their laps, both agreeing it was too cold to eat in the kitchen. Once they were done, the conversation turned to Katie Ann and Ivan, which wouldn’t have been her first choice, but she found herself confiding in Eli in a way that surprised her.

“I’m not shocked about Ivan buying a house and not telling Lucy.” She grimaced as she spoke. “Ivan was big on surprises, but also big on secrets.”

Eli twisted to face her. “Katie Ann, I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through.” He shook his head. “That’s just so wrong.”

She wasn’t seeking his pity, and she was starting to wish she hadn’t shared so much, so she shrugged. “All in God’s plan, I suppose.” She winced, as she could almost picture God staring down on her and shaking His head.

“I know it’s hard not to question the Lord’s plan for us when something so unforeseeable happens.” Eli’s brows narrowed as he sighed, and Katie Ann suspected he was referring to his wife’s death. Then his face brightened, and he locked eyes with her. “But I’m thankful that it was part of His plan for us to meet. I’m grateful for this new friendship.”

His presence gave her joy, even if she didn’t understand the Lord’s plan, or completely trust it. “Me too.”

Eli shifted his weight and crossed one ankle on his knee, his body still turned toward her. “Katie Ann . . .” He paused.

“I’d like to write to you. Would that be all right? I mean, I’d like to know how you and Jonas are doing.”

“I’d like that.” She playfully tapped him on the shoulder. “I want to hear all about your travels, the places you’ll see.”

He chuckled. “I know it’s strange for an Amish man to take on such excursions, but I still plan to work hard too.”

“You don’t need to justify your intentions to anyone except God. I think you’ve earned some time to yourself.”

“Danki for saying that.”

“Where will you go first?”

“Indiana. Jake’s wife, Laura Jane, has family there. They’ve invited me to stay with them, and I’ve never been to Indiana. Then I’ll go back home and ready my land for planting. And after that, I plan to take a short trip to Florida.”

Katie Ann knew envy was a sin, but the emotion surfaced just the same, and she fought the memories of all the times Ivan promised to take her on a vacation there. “I think that’s wonderful.”

“It will seem strange, being away from the kinner. Even now, being here, I can’t help but worry about all of them.” He chuckled. “That was the one thing the Lord couldn’t have prepared me for with six children. No matter how old they get, I still worry.”

“I can understand that.”

Eli sat taller. “Do you have a phone?”

“I share the same phone that Samuel installed in the barn. We know lots of folks have cell phones these days or phone ringers in the haus, but I agreed with Lillian and Samuel that it’s best to keep the ringers out of the house, especially when Jonas is sleeping. And Lillian wants her kinner to grow up without the invasions of the outside world.”

“Can I call you sometimes?”

“I’d like that.” She twisted away from him toward the table by the couch, found her small pad of paper and a pen. She scribbled down the phone number and address and handed it to him.

“Could you take my phone number and address down, in case you or Jonas need anything? I’m going to get a cell phone soon so I can be in touch with my family when I’m on the road, but for now I have a phone in the barn.”

Katie Ann passed him the paper and pen. He handed it back to her with his phone number and address.

He glanced at the clock and grinned. “Time sure does fly when I’m with you. I guess I need to go.” He stood up, and Katie Ann did the same. “My bus leaves early in the morning, and I’ll have to catch a taxi ride to the bus station.”

Katie Ann couldn’t think of a single thing to say to get him to stay just a little longer, and she dreaded saying good-bye.

She followed him to the door and waited while he pulled on his long black overcoat and put on his black felt hat. When he was done, he just stared at her. She didn’t move, but as he inched closer her knees began to shake and her pulse quickened. He cupped her cheek.

“I’ve been dreading having to say good-bye to you,” he said.

His touch was unbearably tender, as was the sound of his voice, sending a warm shiver through her. As his lips slowly descended to her cheek, she felt both relief and disappointment, then he kissed her again, this time closer to her mouth, and when his lips brushed hers there was an intimacy that she knew she would recall for a long time, and she was going to savor every second.

After what seemed like a long while, he eased away, picked up her hand, and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Take care, my friend.”

Under any other circumstances, and with anyone else, it would have seemed a strange thing to say.

“You too.” She fought the tremble in her voice.“Safe travels.”

He smiled as he closed the door behind him.

Katie Ann watched Eli through the window as he walked down the driveway to go back to Vera and Elam’s, a light snow falling. She touched her lips and fought the urge to cry.

“Be blessed and safe, my friend,” she whispered as he disappeared into the darkness.