Between Friends

Chapter 15

I have to keep on telling myself that seriously, I’m fine. I even take deep breaths, and convince myself I don’t care in the slightest that Ben and Stephanie, once (maybe twice or worse thrice) slept together. I make myself believe I don’t care that Stephanie’s eyes lit up when she rehashed their secret sex-escapade, or that she looked flushed and giddy when she provided us with the graphic details about his package. I try not to care that Ben hid all of this from me, and I try even harder not to pass out from the pain in my heart, but I should have known. It was so obvious…

Stephanie constantly looks to Ben for attention, and annoyingly so. Batting her eyes, using a baby voice, and jumping at any chance to touch him with her perfectly manicured nails. Not to mention her sexually aggressive behavior, coupled with her natural beauty (cat like eyes and super-model body), makes her 100% Ben material. I could just see her swaying her perfect hips from side to side and seducing him with no problems at all. I gag at the thought of them being intimate together and it makes me sick with jealously.

I am utterly heartbroken. I am his second dirty little secret of the month. What a scumbag! This is why I tried to stop this from going any further that morning in my condo. This is why I flat out said it was a mistake. But unlike Ben, I actually valued our friendship. I guess I was the only one smart enough to know that sex only complicates everything.

By mid afternoon, we say our goodbyes to the Spa and a good chunk of my bank account. We walk back to our villa, while I schlep behind and kick random pebbles. Jessica takes off down a separate cobblestone road, and tells us she will be by our villa in twenty minutes. I wave her goodbye, and listen to Stephanie and Michelle chitchat about what they are going to wear tonight. I feel so crummy that all I want to do is toss on a pair of pajamas and go to bed. But unfortunately, I have a bachelorette party to attend.

Twenty minutes later, I rifle through my luggage, feeling hopelessly lost in what to wear. Everything looks grey and frumpy, crumbled and disorganized. I glance over at Stephanie and Michelle holding dresses up against one another and debating on which one looks better for tonight. Jessica appears out of nowhere, pushing herself through the doorway. She walks in beautifully dressed, wearing the most stunning long sleeved purple hued skin-tight dress. It sparkles all over, making her vibrant and fantastically gorgeous. Stephanie and Michelle gawk at her, and tell her she looks amazing. She gives us a twirl and swings her arms, shaking the bags hanging from her forearms.

Michelle squeals at the sight of pink bows and pretty wrapping paper when Jessica plops down on the sofa. She calls us over; and just how my dad would imitate Santa Claus every Christmas morning, she does the same. She reaches in the bag and playfully asks, “Who do you think this one is for?” Then shakes it by her ear and shouts, “Stephanie!”

Stephanie graciously accepts her gift from Jessica, and stretches her shoulders back with a tiny grin. Jessica continues to pull a separate present out for Michelle, and then finally one for me. I thank her, but she grabs onto my arm and looks at me with glossy eyes.

“I hope you like it” she whispers, “Nothing I can give you will ever be enough to thank you for putting up with me. I know have been quite the bridezilla over the past year.”

I tell her not to worry about it, and assure her she has not been as crazy as she thinks (which is only half true). I snuggle up beside her, and unwrap my present. I hear Stephanie and Michelle squealing behind me, thanking Jessica for their new fabulous golden peep-toed Louboutin heels.

Jessica tilts up her chin, and says “These are the shoes you have to wear tomorrow for the wedding. Aren’t they gorgeous?”

“Their fantastic!” Michelle shouts slipping one onto her bare foot and admiring herself in the mirror.

I choke when I un-wrap my sparkling pair and catch a glimpse of how high the heel is. Jessica must see the look of concern splashed across my face, because she says, “If you wear them tonight you will have enough practice by tomorrow.”

I let out a strained laugh, “Thanks Jess, they’re so beautiful.” Which is an understatement. They are absolutely stunning. But I wouldn’t have expected any less from Jessica.

“Look back in the bag.” she nudges me with a huge smile on her face.

I peer down, and see a tiny little blue Tiffany box, “Jessica, this is too much.”

Stephanie and Michelle are huddled around us, and I can feel Michelle’s warm breath blowing against my ear, which is really irritating. Jessica’s face becomes quite nervous and she fiddles with her engagement ring as I flip open the box. I gasp at the sparkling silver chain with the cutest little charm staring back at me. It’s light pink, and has a carved diamond ring on the front of it. Jessica insists I flip it over, and when I do; there is a tiny etching in the back, Friends Forever J

I am not sure if it is finding out about Stephanie and Ben, or if because this pendant reminds me of our youth and the time Jessica and I went to the mall, picked out matching friendship necklaces, then wore them until the early part of the eighth grade. But whatever it is, tears pour down my cheeks. They stream even more so, when she pulls out the same one from around her neck.

I wrap my arms around her, and bury my head in her shoulder. Jessica continues to jabber on that she picked the charm with a diamond ring, because it would always remind us of our twelve year old wedding promise to be one another’s maid-of-honors. I feel knots form in my stomach and more tears sting at the corners of my eyes, because she may never get to be my maid of honor, especially now that I want to swear off all men forever.

Stephanie breaks up our moment and cracks open a beer, “Enough of this blubbering! Are we ready to get this party started or what?”

Jessica assesses my attire; navy shorts and a white tank top, “I hope you don’t think you’re wearing that to my bachelorette party.”

I glance down at my plain Jane self and give a pitiful shrug. Right away, the girls jump into selecting an outfit for me that will match our new shoes, because Jessica wasn’t kidding when she said I should practice wearing them before tomorrow. Michelle riffles through the closet and pulls out my deep V-neck lace Guess dress, and insists it will be a perfect match. I agree, because even if I did object, I would be overruled. I slip into the two-toned high-shine layer dress, letting Jessica pull up the metal zipper in the back.

The restaurant is so elegant, with high ceilings and dim lighting overlooking the pool glimmering in the moonlight. We are a tad bit late, because at the last minute, Jessica insisted she loosely curl my hair. Jessica’s mother, Anne Ellis, greets us and runs in our direction. She wraps her arms around Jessica, and whispers in her ear how stunning she looks. Michael’s mother forces herself up from the table and gives Jessica a stiff hug and a firm pat on the back. While all the other ladies sitting at the table, cheer over the bride-to-be’s grand arrival.

Throughout dinner, Mrs. Ellis takes over most of the conversation and tells childhood stories about Jessica, including reiterating the day she was born. She even divulges into a few stories about our high school years, like the one time she caught us attending a college party when we were only sixteen. Mrs. Ellis just happened to be driving down fraternity row when Stephanie was doing a keg stand on the front lawn of the Alpha Delta Phi frat house. Or when she caught us trying to highjack Mr. Ellis’s Jaguar, so we could hit up a party on the west end of Chicago. Her mother laughs now, but I don’t remember her laughing at all when it happened. Matter of fact, I distinctly remember her calling my mother and ratting me out, (even though I was the only one who tried to stop Jessica from illegally pulling out of her driveway).

Once dinner is over, with a lot of motivation on my end, and the shuffling of a flimsy Jessica, we are out of the restaurant. The shuttle pulls up to the front doors, and Michael’s mother announces she isn’t coming with us. Jessica’s mother (who is also a little tipsy) asks her why not, to have Michael’s mother turn up her nose and insist it isn’t her scene.

“That’s okay” Jessica says brushing her hand over Michael’s mothers face, “You need your beauty sleep anyway.”

Michael’s mother rolls her eyes and hops a separate shuttle to take back to own her villa. Jessica’s whiney voice and blunt drunken behavior is less than attractive when she stumbles onto our shuttle and waves her finger in the driver’s face and tells him he’s cute.

The music is blaring and everyone is dancing inside the bar. Jessica is out of control, and finds herself on top of the bar with an alcoholic beverage in either hand dancing like a bad version of Coyote Ugly. The men surrounding her are cheering her on, and she loves every minute of it. At one point she even let’s a random dude take a shot off of her body, and I find myself having to intervene, before she crosses the line of having a good time to cheating on her fiancé.

Michelle prances over to us with a plate of shots just as I am trying to convince Jessica to calm down and drink some water. I politely decline for the both of us; because I am still feeling depressed over Ben, while the last thing Jessica needs is another shot of booze. But Michelle doesn’t take no for an answer and shoves two of them in my face, “Come on Megan. Drink up and get that permanent frown off your face already.”

I take the two shots so I can try to forget about Ben and Stephanie’s secret romp, and of course Jessica’s inappropriate behavior. A few more shots later, and I have let loose and danced the night away. I even bump and grind with just about any guy that crosses my path, and I engage in some flirtatious salsa moves with a couple of cute Costa Rican’s.

But when midnight hits; so does Jessica’s vomit. Mrs. Ellis freaks out and calls the party quits, “Ohmigod! Someone put something in Jessica’s drink!”

I roll my eyes, because Jessica’s mother is just as dramatic as she is. I offer to bring Jessica back to her villa, but Mrs. Ellis says not to worry, she will stay in the Ellis’s villa tonight. Once all the other ladies fizzle out, Stephanie, Michelle and I are left completely buzzed and still raring to go.

“Should we call it a night?” I ask, feeling the tequila shots rush to my brain now that our dancing has stopped.

“No way” Stephanie shouts, “I am going to find Ben and make my move. Tonight’s the night ladies.”

Even when I am drunk, it still hurts like a bitch to hear Stephanie talk about him. It hurts even more so when an image of them having hot and steamy sex flashes through my mind. Therefore, I do what any levelheaded girl would do in my situation. I slam another two shots of tequila and tell Stephanie to lead the way.

It doesn’t take long to find them, since I was already privy to the information on their whereabouts. I spot the bachelor party crew, cheering on Michael while he shot guns a beer, before Matthew points over at our three-some headed their way. Michael spurts out his beer when he locks eyes with me and he turns stark white. He runs over to us, grabs onto my shoulders and in a panic shouts, “Please tell me Jess is okay.”

“She’s fine” I nod and let out a tiny hiccup, “She puked, but her mom brought her back to their villa.”

Michael sighs with relief, and Eric pops up beside him, “This is a bachelor party, no girls allowed.”

“What are you five?” I laugh, and drape my arm over Michael’s shoulders as the room spins around me.

Michael pipes up, “So what. It’s my bachelor party, and I want them to stay”

Eric rolls his eyes as Michael walks me over to the table.

My heart stops when I see Stephanie has already thrown herself on Ben’s lap and is whispering sweet nothing’s in his ear. I catch him laughing and whispering something back, and it makes my blood boil. He shifts on his chair when he sees me. When I look away, he shouts out my name over the music, but I do my best to ignore him, and keep my eyes straight ahead.

“Megan, over here.” Steven’s voice says from the opposite end of the table. He stands up to greet me, and stumbles over in my direction. He drapes his arm around my shoulders and gives me a tiny kiss on the cheek, “What a nice surprise.”

I catch Ben out of the corner of my eyes with a scowl on his face. Stephanie places her index finer on his chin and turns his head back to her, but his eyes are still directed at me. I flip my long brown curls behind my shoulders and let Steven escort me into the empty chair beside him.

“Did you meet Dave and Charlie yet?” Steven says sliding me a shot of some clear licorice smelling liquid, which I’m guessing is Sambuca.

“No, I haven’t.” I say and shake both their hands.

“Dave’s my brother, and Charlie is Aunt Florence’s son.” Steven says with a smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Jessica has kept you locked up for too long.” Charlie laughs, “I don’t know why she didn’t introduce us before. If she had, you might have been on my arm tonight and not with this goof ball over here.” He nudges Steven and they share a chuckle.

“Ready to take that?” Dave asks narrowing his eyes at my shot glass.

“I guess so.” I say and pick it up in my fingers.

“Hey!” Dave shouts and turns to everyone at the table, “Let’s all do a shot. Everyone grab one off the tray.” He raises his glass and looks at Michael, “To Jessica and Michael.”

I bring my shot glass to my lips, and feel Ben’s big brown eyes glaring at me. He is still chatting with Stephanie, but at least she has moved off his lap and onto the chair beside him. I catch her flirtatiously graze her fingers along his exposed arm, and it feels like someone has punched me in the gut. Ben looks over at me again, with what I detect is a little pang of uncertainty in his eyes, but I immediately look away.

“I like your dress.” Steven says, as he inches closer to me and grazes his hand up my bare thigh.

“I like your shirt.” I say and mean it. He is wearing a very sexy denim shirt, over top of a crisp white tee.

He blushes a bit and looks down in his chest, “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, but I like it. Jessica knew what she was doing when she introduced us. You’re everything I’m looking for, beautiful, smart, and very modest. I like that.”

I am trying so hard to feel something, anything after Steven says this to me, but all I feel is empty. I take a deep breath and make the mistake of looking over his shoulder. Ben cups the back of Stephanie’s neck and a bunch of her auburn curls wrap themselves in his fingers. He whispers something in her ear and I immediately feel nauseated.

“Excuse me.” I say and push up from the table, “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Are you okay?” Steven asks glancing up at me with his bright baby blues.

I nod, storm past the table and push my way into the bathroom. I slide into the nearest stall and flop down on the porcelain throne. I place my head between my hands and let a few tears trickle down my cheeks. Thank God no one is in here.

“Open up.” Ben’s demanding tone says from the other side of the stall.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” I shriek and fling open the door to stare at a very angry Ben.

He pushes himself in the tiny space and locks the door behind him, “Don’t let that a*shole shove his hand up your dress again. I don’t like it. You got it?”

“Open the door. Now.” I say and shove both my palms against his tight chest.

“Did you hear me?” He grabs onto my wrists.

“Go f*ck yourself Ben.” I say and break away from his hold and unlock the door. He takes a step back and glares at me as I push past him.

When I get to the table, my heart is beating out of my chest. Ben strolls back a few seconds later and slides into his chair with a frown on his face.

“Are you okay?” Steven says and runs his fingers through my hair.

“I’m fine” I lie and plaster on a fake grin.

Michelle sticks her head between us and says, “Megan will you come and dance with me? Stephanie doesn’t want to, apparently she is on a mission.” She nods and rolls her eyes over at Stephanie taking a shot with Ben.

I will not let him and his dirty secrets ruin my night. I tell Michelle I’ll join her and let her drag me up to the dance floor. I pretend to be happy and twirl under her extended arm and sway to the music. Some random guys come over to join our dance party, but when they start to get a little too touchy feely, I tell Michelle I am going to get another drink. She tells me to get one for her as she grinds up on some guy.

I patiently wait for our drinks and rap my fingers on top of the bar, until someone taps my shoulder and I turn around. “Let’s go. Enough of this shit. You’re coming with me to my villa right now.” Ben orders and reaches for my hand.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I say and look away.

The bartender slides over the cocktails, but Ben quickly clamps his hands over both of them and pulls them tightly against his chest, “Why not?”

“Give me the drinks.” I say forcing my hands to my hips. I hate Ben and his superior behavior as he glares at me with dark brown eyes. He slowly slides the drinks in my direction, I snatch them and whip around, but his hand fastens around my elbow.

“Let go!” I shout already feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

“What the hell did I do?” he asks completely dumbfounded.

I look at Ben and the disbelief on his face, but I don’t say another word.

“Come on Megan. Say something. Tell me what I did.” Ben asks closing the space between us. He is so close I can smell the rum on his breath. I push him away and walk back to the dance floor.

Not here, not now.

Ben doesn’t approach me the rest of the night. Instead he lets Stephanie hang all over him while he slams back the rum and cokes. Michelle and I continue to have some more good-natured fun, until our feet hurt and we decide we’ve had enough. We trudge back to the table, and I make the mistake of watching Stephanie lean over and kiss Ben’s cheek.

I’ve reached my breaking point.

“Well, I think it’s time to call it a night.” I say and stumble away from the table, “I’m not feeling so well.”

“You shouldn’t walk alone.” Steven says, “Let me walk you back.”

“No, no, no. I’m more than okay. Thanks Steven.” I say and slowly creep backwards.

“No, I think I should walk you back.” He insists and stands up from the table.

“Steven, please. Sit down. I’m fine.” I say. Steven opens his mouth to argue, but slams it shut.

“Are you sure?” Michael asks and gives me an once-over.

“Positive.” I say, and see Ben dart his eyes at me.

“Call one of us as soon as you make it back to your villa. Promise?” Eric says.

I nod and start to walk away, feeling Ben’s eyes follow me out the door. Once I am outside and safe from his view, I let the tears stream down my cheeks.

Nothing is worse than being drunk and feeling sorry for your-self. It is a recipe for disaster. I am half way to our villa, when I flop down on some random steps outside of a gift shop. I let the tears flow, because I promised myself as soon as I made it to my bed, I would not cry one more tear over Ben. I drop my head in my hands, wishing I could just erase everything that happened between us. All I want is my best friend back, but I know he is gone forever.

“Are you okay?”

I suck up my tears and wipe them away with the back of my hands. I look up through my long wet lashes to see Ben standing in front of me.

“Go away!” I shout, “Someone might think we’re actually together!”

“What the hell is going on?” He takes one step closer and adds, “Holy shit you’re really drunk.”

“I know that!” I shout and ungracefully stumble to my feet.

“What the hell was that shit you pulled back there with Steven? Are you mad at me or something?” Ben asks moving an inch closer.

“What was your first clue?” I shout, and turn on my heel to storm in the direction of my villa.

I hear Ben jogging up behind me calling out my name, but I don’t care and it feels good to feel that way. He grabs onto my arm, and begs me to stop and tell him what I am so mad about. But I don’t want to say it out loud, because it will hurt too much. Besides, it really doesn’t matter what he says. I am done with him.

“Megan, please.” Ben begs with a subtle nervousness to his voice.

I cross my arms over my chest and tap my foot on the ground, “When were you going to tell me you f*cked Stephanie?”

Ben’s face drops, he starts breathing heavy and he doesn’t move a muscle. His nostrils flare a bit, and he clenches his jaw. He starts to mumble something about how it was a long time ago and it only happened once.

“You’re lying!” I scream, “Stephanie told me it happened more than once. Matter of fact it happened a few times.”

“Megan stop. It was a long time ago –“ Ben tries to defend himself, but I don’t want to hear him speak another word.

“Actually Ben. It wasn’t a long time ago. It was less than a month ago to be correct. What is wrong with you? Is this a game to you? To f*ck your friends? How could you hide that from me?” I shout and my face turns red.

For a moment Ben doesn’t respond. He is completely silent. Then he takes a deep breath, “Are you done?”

“No I’m not.” I shout feeling my chest tighten, “Oh, don’t let me forget to mention how you asked Stephanie not to say anything about you repeatedly shoving your dick in her. Just like you didn’t want anyone to know about us! How many more dirty little secrets do you have? Are you banging Michelle too? Jessica? Who else?”

“Megan, it was not at all like that.” Ben tries to reason with me. He runs his fingers through his dark hair, and adds, “I never wanted to hurt you. If I would have known that this would have happened between us, I would have never slept with Stephanie.”

“Oh, you never wanted to hurt me?” I let out a hard bitter laugh “You never thought about how much you were hurting me every time you slept with another one of your bimbos or whores. You never thought anything about me then.”

“Megan, enough. We’ll talk in the morning when you aren’t drunk,” Ben says with a hint of frustration to his voice. He reaches out to grab my arm and lead me back to my villa, but I pull away.

“It’s over Ben. I don’t want a friendship and I don’t want a relationship. I just want a clean break.”

Ben doesn’t break his eye contact with me when I push him away. I drop my gaze and kick off those damn Louboutin’s. I let out a huff and storm back to my villa alone and liberated.