Between Friends

Chapter 13

Ben snaps about a million pictures and videos of the tiny turtles. Then he takes it upon himself to sneak in shots of me, even after I press my lips together in a fine line and tell him to leave me out of his photography. He knows exactly how much I hate getting my picture taken. I threaten to toss his beloved phone into the ocean if he doesn’t stop, but he tackles me into the sand and flashes a few more unwanted headshots. I laugh, kicking and screaming beneath him until his fingers grow still, and my giggles stop. Ben leans over me, and our eyes finally lock. He kisses me in the damp sand, and slowly releases me from his grasp. But just when I am perfectly lost in his lips, he pulls away with a smile, tugs my ear and yanks me to my feet.

We walk down the miles of white sand, under the star-filled sky and head back to the vehicle, but I don’t want our evening to end. Ben casually slips his hand in mine and bashfully smiles at me. I smile back, feeling his thick strong fingers entwine with mine. It makes me a bit queasy, because all I can think about is how this is something real couples do. Not friends who are casually sleeping together. As juvenile or innocent as handholding may be, in my experience, you don’t just do that with anybody. There is something underlying and intimate about it that remains hidden by the first base stigma attached to it. But when I feel Ben’s rapid pulse beat against my palm, I know he understands the magnitude of his gesture.

We remain in a comfortable silence, and let the water crash into our toes and the sand sink beneath our feet. Ben smiles at me, and rambles on about how great that was, and how he was glad we did it together. I of course agree and thank him for bringing me.

Once we are at the vehicle, Ben walks over to the passenger’s side and opens up my door for me. I stand completely frozen, watching him wait for me to slide in. I thank him with raised eyebrows and slowly sit down on the seat letting him close the door behind me. I can’t help but note what a chivalrous gesture that was. I didn’t know Ben had it in him to be such a gentleman. Does Ben do that for all the women he sleeps with? I quickly decide I would rather not know. Instead I let it go, and know that this moment is mine.

He walks around the front end of the car and twirls the keys between his fingers. He opens his door and slides inside. He clears his throat and slowly starts to put the keys in the ignition, but abruptly stops. He looks at me, breathing heavily with his strong broad chest rising up and down. I feel butterflies saunter around in my stomach, just staring into his dark brown eyes.

“Megan, I know this is crazy.” He sighs, and grips the steering wheel at exactly at ten and two, “But, you make me…I just – I have always loved being around you. That’s why we have been such great friends all these years. You are the only person in the world that gets me, and it scares me.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, looking down in my lap and twiddling with my shirt.

“It just means…” Ben pauses. He lets out a deep frustrated breath, “I don’t know what it means. God Megan this is – I can’t even – I just – You’re just way too good for me. I honestly don’t deserve any of this.”

The dead silence filling the interior of the car forces me to look up, and I see he looks about as nervous as I feel. I don’t know what to say. Me? Too good for him? That’s what he thinks? Is he out of his mind? Has he seen the body and face he’s been blessed with?

“No I’m not.” I whisper.

“Yes you are!” Ben shouts looking at me with pain clouding his dark eyes. He takes a deep breath leans over and kisses my cheek, “You are, and don’t you forget it.”

I hold his gaze letting silence fill the car. His vulnerability is so foreign to me. I feel like I don’t even recognize him. He is always so confident and well spoken, nothing close to this. I think now would be a good time to confirm we were more than just friends sneaking around and having a good time, but I am scared and worried that if I push too far, I may ruin everything.

Ben firmly places his keys into the ignition. He switches the car into reverse, and checks the rear-view mirror. He drapes his muscular arm across the back of my seat and glances over his shoulder before he starts to back up. I feel a tingling sensation spread all over my body, and I can’t resist him anymore. I am totally turned on by his shy and uncertain behavior and it makes me want him more than ever.

“Stop the car.” I shout.

Ben slams on the breaks.

“What is it?” he asks turning white.

“Park the car and turn it off.” I command.

Ben does exactly what I say, when something inside me snaps and climbs across the seat to straddle him. Both his hands find my hips as I passionately kiss him, smelling his intoxicatingly natural scent, mixed in with what I am guessing to be an SPF15. Ben moans and kisses me back running his hands up my back, and massaging his fingers through my hair.

“You scared me.” Ben pants pulling me into him, and kisses down my neck.

I groan, “I’m sorry. I just need you inside me right now.”

He lets out a chuckle and grabs onto my chin, forcing his lips back onto mine, “You can have me any way you want, babe.”

Even though we are completely cramped, and my back is pressed up against the steering wheel, I don’t care. Right now, I can’t get enough of him. He reaches around behind me and unclips my bra then yanks its out from under my shirt. His sucks on my bottom lip and whispers “Get in the back. Now.” and waits for me to scurry off his erection pressing through his shorts. Seconds later, we are like two high school kids making out in the back seat of a car that doesn’t belong to either of us.

His hands find the hem of my tank and he peels it off from my body. He tosses it to the front seat before his skillful hands caress my breasts. He pulls me on top of him and runs his tongue along each of my nipples and slips one into his mouth and whispers against my skin, “I could spend hours here; teasing, sucking and tasting you.”

I moan and run my hands down his chest and feel his perfect pecks mesh into his rippling abs. I can’t take it any more when I yank off his shirt from his body and press his hard warm skin against mine. Ben wraps me tightly in his arms and his lips are back on mine sucking at my mouth. He smiles at me with his eyes, and kicks off his shorts, “Flip over, I want a full view of that ass.”

I gulp. Wow. He is so sexy. My body tingles when I turn myself around. I quickly become thankful it is dark outside, because I know it is about to get R rated real fast. Then Ben pushes my skirt up to my hips, and in one swift motion enters me.

We take advantage of every square inch, and it is amazing what you can do in small and restricted spaces if you just use your imagination. I love every thrust, every moan and every dirty word that comes out of his mouth, until he abruptly stops and grunts, “I got to turn you around, I’m gonna explode if I keep on f*cking you this way.” He flips me on my back and locks his eyes lock with mine then whispers, “You’re so beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful.” And slips back inside me.

His words make my heart feel like it is pounding out of my chest. About a million images flash through my mind of us over the years together. Like in high school, whenever his mother would let him drive their mini-van to school, I would always be the first person he would offer to pick up. Or in university, whenever we had an exam, he would never pass up the opportunity for us to study together. He would faithfully show up with two coffees, a bottle of Tylenol, and box of donuts in hand. Or how sometimes late at night he sends me good-night text messages that say things like, Sweet Dreams and Have Fun Counting Sheep.

Then I think about how every boyfriend I have ever had, whether it was Marco, Will or Donny, all at one point when we dated envied my relationship with Ben. I defended myself and accused them of being insecure. I called them crazy and insisted they had nothing to worry about. I remember telling every single one of them the exact same thing: Ben was nothing more than a friend.

But when Ben releases inside of me, he is anything but my friend. I can’t help but think about how all my ex-boyfriends were right. They had every reason in the world to be jealous of Ben. Because at the end of the day, he was the one I called over all my worries; he was the one I shared all my secrets with; and he was the one I would drop everything for if I had too. They all saw something I couldn’t. I was crazy about him. As innocent as our friendship was, it was clear there was an insane connection between us. It is only now that I realize all of my three ex-boyfriends were far from crazy with their accusations. I was the crazy one for not seeing what I had in front of me all along.

Ben lets out a deep breath and comes in for an after-sex snuggle. He somehow manages to fit horizontally across the back seat (even though he is six feet tall) and wraps his arm around my body. When I start to slip through his grasp and down to the floor, he flips me on top of his chest to face him. My hair cascades around my face, and he gently tucks it behind my ears and kisses the top of my forehead. I trace my fingers along his chest and draw random objects like zigzags and swirls in our comfortable silence. Ben takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He tells me to draw something so he can guess what it is. I nervously trace a tiny heart on his chest, hoping he doesn’t read too much into it. But because I am so awestruck with him right now, I can’t think of anything better. When I am done, I look at Ben just in time to see him open his eyes and smile, “That’s way too small for how my heart feels about you.”

****

By the time we get back to the resort, it’s a little after nine thirty. The lobby is strangely vacant, except for the presence of the resort staff. Ben wraps his arm around my shoulders as we walk across the marble floors.

“Do you have plans with the girls?” he asks with curiosity.

“No. I didn’t get a chance to talk with them before we left.” I say.

He looks down at me through his dark framed lashes and whispers, “Come to my villa. Matthew and Eric are probably out for the night.”

I laugh, “I need to shower first. Let me think about it.”

“Have one at my villa. I’ll join you.” Ben smiles and plants a kiss on the top of my head.

“Megan? Ben?” Michelle’s voice perks up from behind us. We push away from each other and whip around to see Michelle and Stephanie a few feet behind us crossing through the lobby.

“Where were you guys?” Michelle asks, assessing our guilty demeanor.

How long have they been watching us? Oh God. Did they see Ben kiss my forehead? Michelle’s narrowed eyes and sideways glance tells me she has seen everything. Stephanie on the other hand is completely oblivious. Michelle furrows her brow and crosses her arms in front of her chest waiting for one of us to say something.

Ben confidently says with a tight-lipped smile, “We took a drive and saw baby turtles hatch and crawl into the ocean.”

“Fun!” Stephanie shrieks, but then pouts, “Why didn’t you invite us to come?”

“Maybe they wanted to be alone.” Michelle says with a suggestive tone.

“No, it was last minute.” Ben cuts in and shuts Michelle down. He quickly changes the subject and asks, “What are you guys up to? We were just discussing meeting up with everyone.”

LIES!

“We are heading back to our villa to grab a deck of cards. Matthew and Eric are down at the Sports bar waiting for us. You guys coming?” Stephanie asks batting her eyes at Ben.

“Megan, are you going?” Ben asks, forcing me to make the final decision.

Michelle’s curious eyes glance back and forth between us, and it makes me insanely nervous, “Yeah, for sure. It’s not like we had anything better planned.” I lie, because we so did!

“Alright. That settles that. So… I’ll see you ladies in a bit?” Ben claps his hands together and slowly moves backwards into the direction of his villa.

“See you in a bit!” Stephanie shouts and gives him a coy wave. I hate how Stephanie always tries to flirt with Ben. It’s pathetic.

Once Ben is out of earshot, Michelle snaps, “What the hell was that?”

“What?” I say tilting my head to the side.

“Well you guys looked pretty cozy. Did I see Ben kiss your forehead?” Michelle asks tapping her foot on the floor.

Stephanie gives me a quizzical stare, but remains silent.

I feel myself turn a little red, but manage to pull myself together with a nervous chuckle, “We were just sharing a friendly hug. What’s wrong with that?”





“She’s his beer drinking buddy, not his f*ck buddy.” Stephanie laughs.

Uggh! I have had enough of Stephanie this week and her rude comments.

“I don’t know, I could have sworn I saw Ben kiss your forehead.” Michelle says.

“Well you must have been seeing things.” Stephanie snorts.

“Why’s that?” I ask narrowing my eyes at her. Stephanie purses her lips and lets her eyebrows inch a bit higher.

“Like Ben would ever like you like that.” She dismissively says.

I keep my cool and take a deep breath to prevent myself from going into the red zone. I roll my eyes and shove past Stephanie to lead the way back to our villa.

****

Michelle digs through her luggage and looks for her deck of cards while I have a quick shower, put on a cute floral print dress and a pair of flats. When I poke out of the bathroom, Stephanie is sitting on the sofa painting her fingernails and chomping on a piece of gum, “Hurry up and find them already!” she snaps at Michelle.

“Why don’t you get off your ass and help me look?” Michelle says now rifling through her purse.

I walk a straight line between the two of them and catch a glimpse of a deck of cards under the end table on the opposite side of the sofa. I bend down and yank them up and toss them in Stephanie’s lap, “They were right beside you.”

“Good job Megan.” Michelle says and gets up from her knees.

Stephanie gives me a dirty look and tosses them to Michelle, “I believe she was looking for these.”

She pushes past me and bumps my shoulder on her way out the door. I quickly remind myself I only have the remainder of this trip to deal with Stephanie and her attitude. Because once we get back to Chicago, I will be taking a serious friendship break from her for a while.

When we get to the bar, I see Ben leaning back on his chair and sipping a drink. He changed into a pair of charcoal shorts and a tight white V-neck t-shit. He looks great beside Matthew and Eric who already appear to be half-in-the-bag.

“Hey ladies” Matthew shouts, and waves Michelle over to his knee. She tosses the deck of cards on the table and slides on his lap. Then she wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a kiss.

“You know you two are putting us in an awkward situation.” Eric says, “What is going to happen once we get back to Chicago and we forced to be around your boyfriend” he points to Michelle, “And your girlfriend?” he points to Matthew.

“Oh relax” Matthew says.

“Well?” Eric says shifting his eyes between the two of them.

“Well, you’ll keep your mouth shut for starters.” Matthew snaps.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” Michelle says with conviction, “I’m breaking up with him once I get back home anyway.”

“You are?” Matthew says raising his eyebrows at her.

“Yeah I am.” Michelle says and slides off his lap into a vacated chair.

“Oh God,” Stephanie moans, “Here we go.”

Matthew throws his hands up in the air and shouts, “Come on Michelle, make up your mind already!”

“Well what are you going to do? Keep on dating Felicity or whatever her name is after all of this?” Michelle asks leaning back in her chair.

Matthew let’s out an earthshattering moan and drops his head in his hands. Despite the drama coming from their end of the table, Ben smiles at me while taking a sip from his drink. I wearily smile back, feeling a bit bleak that the tropical heat is clouding our recent romance. I can’t help but wonder if Ben and I could end up like them. Their reality is my worst nightmare, and it is the exact reason all this tends to scare me in the first place. I can’t fathom losing Ben, ever.

It wasn’t long ago when Ben and I engaged in a lengthy discussion over the dramatic relationship saga of Matthew and Michelle. After Ben found himself dragged into one of their more explosive fights, he rushed over to my place, flopped down on my sofa, and asked me to grab him a beer. Then he patted the seat beside him so he could reveal what he had witnessed.

According to Ben, Matthew let it slip that he was seeing another woman (coincidently his present girlfriend Felicity). Michelle’s vein popped out of her forehead and her immediate reaction was to reach into the freezer and whip a frozen bag of peas at him. She screamed and shoved him up against the wall, but before she stormed out of his apartment she slapped him across the face and claimed they were officially over. Once she left, Matthew broke down and confessed to Ben that he loved Michelle, but he couldn’t see a future with her because of how volatile they were together.

Ben and I became so wound up in their web of drama; we couldn’t contain ourselves from judging their problems. We gossiped about how everything changed for them once they added sex into the mix. We poked fun at how stupid they were for thinking it could actually work. But suddenly, I am not feeling the same way I did back then, when I was so quick to judge their circumstance. How would Ben and I ever muddle through a break-up? Would I experience such great demons of hurt that I would find myself whipping a frozen bag of peas at him too?

Hopefully, I never have to find out.