I looked down at what were once my favorite pair of black peep-toe stilettos and frowned. “The funeral.”
“Well, don’t think about that now!” Emma cried.
“You’re the one that asked!”
“Liz, look at me.” I did. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard, wrinkling the silk of my black lacy cocktail dress. “Ben is the best thing that ever happened to you.” She winced, “After Grady. Do not mess this up.”
“I’ve already messed it up, at least a hundred times. I have no idea why he thinks this is a good idea. I’m not even sure why I said yes! I should call him and cancel right now. I should-”
The doorbell rang.
He was here.
Son of a bitch.
“Emma, I can’t do this.”
Her expression softened and she whispered, “Yes, you can. You can because you want to do this, because you’ll regret not doing this. You care about him, Elizabeth.”
“It doesn’t matter, Em. It doesn’t matter how I feel about him. This can’t go anywhere.”
“Just worry about tonight. Then decide about the rest tomorrow.”
“You’re going to make a great shrink one day.” Heat rushed my eyes, I was near tears.
Emma fanned at her face. “Elizabeth!”
“I can see you both standing there!” Ben called through the door.
That dissolved our emotional moment. Emma rushed over to the door and yanked it open. I had a half second to take a steadying breath before Ben stepped into the house and knocked the breath out of me.
The low evening light burned behind him, setting off his dark hair and darker eyes. He stood in the doorframe wearing gray dress pants with a matching gray vest, a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a black tie. He had his fancy watch on and his hair had been styled away from his face.
He looked… incredible.
I felt lost looking at him, completely out of my depth and so far beyond casual feelings for him that I couldn’t breathe right.
And yet when his eyes stopped traveling over my body to finally meet my gaze, I felt found. His heated stare held so much affection but I managed to take courageous breaths and clear my mind of the sharpened panic that had sent me into a tailspin.
I managed to put all of my grief, heartache and craziness aside for this moment and focus only on him and how he made me feel.
“Liz,” Ben breathed. “I’m not going to be able to stop looking at you.”
I blushed fiercely from his compliment. I had never been admired so openly by anyone other than Grady. I didn’t know how to react or even accept the praise.
“Thank you,” I barely whispered.
The kids attacked Ben, asking him where we were going and when we would back. Blake wanted to show Ben his game and the girls wanted to play with him. He looked up at me for help, smiling affectionately at the hooligans latched to his legs.
“Can I come over tomorrow to see the game?” he asked Blake. “I promised to take your mom to dinner and I don’t think I can keep her waiting much longer.”
“Why not?” Blake asked like it didn’t matter if I had to wait or not. Such a typical response from my oldest.
“Look at her, Blake.” And that was all he said. Blake had no idea what he was talking about. Ben closed the distance between us and reached for my hand. “Are you okay?” he asked gently.
I nodded. How could I be anything but okay with this man? “Yes.”
“Ready to go?” I nodded again. “Then kiss your kids and let’s get out of here.”
I did exactly as he said. I gave all of the children big hugs and kisses one at a time. They hugged me back but let me go, excited about their night with Emma.
I let him lead me to his car. He helped me into the passenger’s seat and then took his place in the driver’s. He had already told me that he planned to take me to dinner, so I had known what to expect.
“We won’t be out late tonight,” he said once we were driving through town.
“Okay.” I tried not to sound too disappointed.
His hand reached over and squeezed mine. “I want to ease you into this. I don’t want to scare you away.”
Something tingled down my spine. I couldn’t put a name to the feeling. There were too many mixing together for one to stand out. Fear? Maybe. Irritation? Possibly.
Anticipation? Definitely.
“You sound pretty confident. How do you know you haven’t already scared me away?”
He pulled up to a red light and turned to give me a very serious, very heated look. “It’s okay to be a little bit scared, Liz. We’re just getting started.”
I nearly snapped my neck turning to look out the window. “You’re so full of yourself,” I croaked.
His chuckle filled the car and wrapped around my skin. Oh, boy. I took a deep breath and let myself stay present in the moment.
If I thought about this too much I would fall apart.
But here, in this moment with Ben, I felt more alive than I had in a very long time.
He pulled up to one of the nicest restaurants in town and handed his keys to the valet. We let the waitress lead us to our table. When we were seated we glanced over the menu quietly.
Nerves jumped around inside of my body. I had only ever really dated one man in my life. There had been guys in high school, but it had never been like this.
And when Grady and I had started dating we were so young. God, it felt like a lifetime ago.
So now, on this date, with this older man, I had no idea what to do or say or think. I felt the tension start to creep back in and my muscles lock up. My breathing stopped functioning properly. I was a mess.
I tried to hide behind my menu, staring at it but not seeing a damn thing. His fingers appeared on the top of it and pushed it down so he could see me again.
“Liz,” he said in a deep rumble. “It’s just me. Nothing has changed.”