My sister was nearly frantic with worry when I looked up at her. In the loudest voice I could muster, I whispered, “You’re pregnant…they’re positive.”
Her eyes widened and glossed over. Dropping my arm, she quietly asked, “All of them?” like somehow if just one said no, it would negate the rest.
I glanced at them again, then up to her. All of the ones without words were similar—two dashes, a dash and a plus sign, one even had a smiley face. Adding that to the one that joyfully pronounced PREGNANT and it could only mean one thing.
I nodded and gave her a sad smile. “All of them. Congratulations, Anna, you’re gonna have a baby.”
She started sobbing…and not because she was happy.
When Anna gathered herself, she seemed convinced that she could change the outcome of technology. “No!” Grabbing the sticks, she started marching her way to the bathroom. On the way, she screamed, “No fucking way! These are wrong. I am NOT pregnant!” I gingerly followed behind the angry-at-fate woman, trying to help her without getting my head torn off. After she slammed the bathroom door shut, I timidly knocked on it. “Anna? What are you doing?” Her voice trembling with fear and rage, she yelled, “I’m taking the rest of them! Because they’re wrong! There’s no way that fucker knocked me up! None!”
I sighed, not wanting to tell her that it was possible. Griffin may be an idiot, but his sperm could still swim…apparently. Very quietly, I asked,
“Are you sure it was Griffin?”
I cringed after I asked, knowing the temperamental woman would probably throttle me for kind of calling her a slut for a second time. The door
cracked
open
and
twin
emerald
eyes
blazed
at
me.
“Yes…I’m…sure.”
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She slammed the door shut again and I winced. “Okay, just checking…”
When it was silent for a long time, I slowly opened the door. Anna had every test lined around the small sink. They were all various colors and styles, and the results screens showed various forms of words or symbols, but the results were the same on every single one of them.
Confirmed by a dozen different tests…Anna was pregnant.
She looked back up at me, teary eyed, her anger sapped. “What do I do, Kiera?”
I stepped into the room and hugged the lost woman. She seemed completely thrown, and I’d never seen my sister thrown. She tended to roll with whatever life gave her, breezing from place to place, man to man, job to job. A child though…that was a permanent responsibility that she couldn’t flit away from.
“You’ll do the best you can, Anna, and I’ll help you as much as I can.” I pulled back to look at her and she broke away from me, taking a step back in the small room. Shaking her head, she sputtered, “No, I can’t do this, Kiera. I’m not you. I’m not responsible or reliable or even that smart.” She tossed her hands up in the air. “I work at Hooters for fuck’s sake. All I have is nice hair and a great rack. What the hell do I have to offer a kid?”
Sighing, I put my hand on her arm. “You’ll do better than you think, and I know you, you’ll love that baby…so much. And what more does a baby need, but love?”
Tears down her cheeks, she shook her head again. “I can’t do this…I don’t want to. I don’t want kids, I’ve never wanted kids.” She ran her hands back through her hair, groaning. “Oh my God…Dad! He’s going to kill me. Mom…she’ll never look at me the same…” Sniffling, she covered her face for a second and I patted her arm.
“They’ll…come around, Anna. They’ll be proud grandparents, and you and Griffin—”
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She dropped her hands, her jaw dropping. “Griffin…oh my God.
Griffin is going to be a father!” She said it like she just now realized what his role in all of this was going to be.
I rubbed her arm supportively. “Yeah, that’s kind of how it works, Anna.”
Shaking her head, her face still in disbelief, she said, “Griffin can’t be a dad, Kiera. He just can’t.” She pointed out the bathroom window, to where our boys were miles and miles away from us. “He blows pot into puppy’s faces, Kiera! Can you picture him around a child?” I cringed. Nope, not in a million years. I tried to switch it to a placating smile, but Anna noticed my expression. In some attempt to reassure her, I said, “Well, you’ll have me and Kellan and Evan, and Matt especially, since he’s family. They’ll…keep Griffin in check.” Sighing, she closed the toilet seat and sat on it. “Griffin…he’ll think I did this on purpose, like those groupies they were warned about.” She looked up at me, fresh tears in her eyes. “He’ll never want to be with me again.”
Tears in my own eyes, I shook my head. “Anna, he won’t…” I closed my mouth. No, Anna was right. It’s exactly what he would think. Shaking my head, I shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
I swallowed back the tears threatening to spill over as sympathy washed through me. Whatever was between her and Griffin, it was clear that Anna genuinely did like him, maybe love him even. I wasn’t sure, but I knew it was over now, and I knew how much an ending relationship hurt.
Watching my struggling emotions, Anna suddenly stood up. “I’m gonna be sick…” I moved to hug her, thinking her pain was emotional, but she held one hand out to me and one to her mouth. “No, I’m really gonna be sick.”
Turning around, she quickly opened the toilet lid and proceeded to throw up in it. Holding her hair back, I rubbed her shoulder while she 384
rested her head on her arm. She sniffled a few times, breathing heavier, then her anger seemed to resurface.
Shooting up to her feet, she wiped her mouth off on a nearby towel. As I gave her whatever words of encouragement I could think of, she grabbed the paper bag from the drug store and started shoving all of the tests inside of it. Crumpling up the bag, she stormed out of the bathroom.
Curious which way the emotional woman was going to swing now, I followed her out. Oddly enough, she stormed into my room.
“Anna…now what are you doing?”
Opening one of my dresser drawers, she shoved the bag inside and closed it. Glaring, she looked back at me. “No, this isn’t happening. This is just some weird dream that I’m going to wake up from any minute.” Dropping my mouth open, I pointed at the bag in my drawer. “You’re not dreaming, Anna. That did happen, and you need to deal with it now.”
She gave me a blank look as she started to walk out of the room. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kiera.” I grabbed her shoulders as she walked past me. She didn’t look at me.
“You can’t just wish this away, Anna. It’s going to happen to you whether you want to acknowledge it or not.”
Her face completely emotionless, she finally turned to look at me. “No, Kiera…it doesn’t have to happen.”
All of the blood drained from my face, from my body. Did she mean…? I couldn’t believe my sister would contemplate that. I knew she was freaking out, I knew she was distraught, but…I couldn’t believe she’d even consider…ending the pregnancy. “Anna…you can’t…” She jerked away from me, a trace of emotion back on her features. “I don’t know yet, Kiera, okay. I just…I need to let this sink in for a few days, alright?”
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I nodded at her, swallowing. Thinking was a good thing. Head down, she started to leave my room. At the door she stopped and looked back.
“Don’t tell anyone about this, Kiera, please? Not Mom or Dad, not Jenny, not Kellan or Denny…no one.”
I sighed and took a step towards her. “Anna, you don’t have to do this alone.”
She shook her head and held her hand out to stop me. “Please? If I decide to have an abor… If I decide to stop this, I don’t want any of them to ever know. Ever. Please? I haven’t told Kellan about your little secret!
And I totally covered for you when you were in the hospital after the Denny-Kellan fiasco, made up some stupid story about your appendix bursting when Dad got the bill…you owe me this.” Her voice wavered so bad, it betrayed how much this decision was eating at her. I knew my sister wasn’t a cold person that could end a life on a whim, but I knew the idea of bringing a baby into the world scared the crap out of her, especially in her weird situation with Griffin. Hoping she’d come around if I gave her space and silence, I nodded. “Alright, I promise you I will not say a word…to anyone.” She nodded and turned to leave and I grabbed her arm. “But you have to tell me… before you do it.” Tears dripping down my cheeks now, I shook my head. “If you decide not to keep it, you tell me before…not after, okay?”
Her eyes watered, tears slowly leaving them and trailing down her splotched cheeks. Pulling her into a hug, I added, “That’s my niece or nephew in there. You have to at least give me one last chance to talk you out of it. And if I can’t…you have to let me go with you…to hold your hand.”
When I pulled back, tears were streaming down her face and she nodded, hiccupping back a sob. My own face as wet as hers, I cupped her cheeks. “I love you, Anna. I know you’ll do…what’s best.” She nodded, then turned and left.
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