him that way. Placing my hand on his knee, I gave him a soft smile. “I’m glad, Denny, I’m sure you’ve missed her.”
I instantly wondered if he’d had heated conversations on the phone with her, then thought probably not. That wasn’t Denny’s style. Then again, it wasn’t my style either…and I’d done it. If Abby was anything like Kellan, I supposed she could have opened Denny up to all sorts of new things. In some ways, Denny and I were too alike. The two of us being with people different than us was probably a good thing. Opposites attract and all.
Denny looked down at my hand on his knee, then up to me. He gave me a quick smile but minutely pulled his leg away. I understood and immediately removed my hand. Some things felt too familiar. Some lines shouldn’t be crossed anymore. And being so alike, we both understood that.
Walking through every furniture store downtown, we finally picked out the perfect living room and dining room set. We even picked out a bedroom set. And yes, picking out a bed with your ex boyfriend, knowing that he’ll be using it with his current girlfriend…is weird.
We both had uncomfortable expressions on our faces when the sales-man made us sit on a mattress together. But then, when we were lying on our backs, pondering the weird situation we were in, we both looked at each other at the same time and started laughing. It was so weird, it had gone into the realm of amusing.
Laughing on that plastic-coated mattress with Denny, I couldn’t help but wonder what Kellan would say, if he knew where I was and what I was doing. If he could see us, see how there was mainly just friendship between us, he might be okay with it. But me telling him about it over the phone…with no visual to go with the explanation, it just sounded bad, especially since Denny had been here for a few months now. The longer he was here, the harder it was to explain.
Settling on a relatively firm Queen-sized mattress, we picked out the furniture to go with it. It was beautiful, and I was sure Abby was going to love the sleigh bed he’d decided on. Running his hand over the back of it, Denny told me that Abby had this romantic notion of going on a 376
sleigh ride in the dead of winter. Bundling up together under heavy blankets, while a couple of beautiful horses pulled you through banks of pristine snow, light flakes of it dropping on your hair, sounded pretty amazing to me too. I hoped that she thought of that when she saw this bed…and having that thought was weird too.
It was starting to get late when I finally got back to my apartment.
After making the preparations for all his new stuff to be delivered, Denny had taken me out for a celebratory dinner. His topic of conversation had all been around Abby, and how excited he was to show her their new place.
I’d smiled politely, happy that he was happy, but a small twinge had gone through me at his home being called “theirs.” It didn’t bother me as much as I’d have once thought, though. Probably because Kellan sometimes called his place “ours,” and that always brought a smile to my face.
I wanted Abby to have the same good feelings, even if I’d never met her.
But walking through my door around ten o’clock that night, I was pretty surprised to find my sister pacing the living room. For one, she didn’t usually get upset enough to pace, and two, I was pretty sure she should have been at work.
Pointing at her as I set my bag on the table, I started to ask why she wasn’t at Hooters. She didn’t even let me get the first word of my question out though. Twisting to me, hands on her hips, she spat out, “There you are. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you forever.” Glancing at my bag, I realized my phone must have died. I hope Kellan hadn’t tried to call. “Uh, I was out with Denny. Why?” When I looked back at her she was glaring at me. “I don’t know why you hang out with him.” I started to defend him when she shook her head and raised her hands, interrupting me. “Look, I don’t really care about you and Denny.” Stepping up to me, she grabbed my forearms.
Eyes wide, she frantically sputtered, “I’m late, Kiera.” Furrowing my brows, I shook my head. “Okay, well the Honda is here…you could have left for work anytime?” I kept shaking my head, confused. Anna and I hadn’t fought over the car since Kellan had left the 377
Chevelle for me. And honestly, that was here too, if she’d really needed to leave.
Dropping her head back, she gave me an exasperated groan. “God, Kiera, not that kind of late!” Her head snapped back up as her eyes widened. Voice trembling, she slowly repeated, “I’m l-a-t-e.” She glanced at her stomach and my eyes grew to saucers. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant!”
Shushing me, she looked around our completely empty apartment.
Like she didn’t want the dust bunnies to hear, she murmured, “I don’t know…but I’m freaking out.”
Shock dropping my mouth wide open, I asked her all the questions floating around my head. “How late? When was your last period? How far along are you? Who was the last guy you were with?” Pausing a second, I raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you know who the father is?” Glaring at me, she dropped my arms and started smacking me. “Yes! I know who the father is…bitch.”
Attempting to block her hits, I backed up a step. “Sorry. Jesus, Anna.” Successfully stepping out of her range, I held my hands up. “Don’t kill me for saying this, but you don’t always stick to just one guy.” Her lip trembled and her perfectly green eyes filled with tears. Dropping her head into her hands, she started to cry. Feeling bad, I quickly put my arms around her and held her to me. Between sobs she got out,
“I know…but I’ve…only been with one lately…and…oh God, Kiera…” She looked back up at me, her face desolate. “It’s Griffin’s…” Now my face was desolate. “Oh my God, I was afraid you were going to say that…” If there was one person on this earth that should never procreate…it was Griffin. But he had, and now my sister was possibly carrying his seed.
Clutching her arms, I grabbed my bag and pulled her towards the door. “Come on, we have to get you a test.” 378
Surprisingly, she jerked on my arm. She was shaking her head as I looked back at her, her face looking genuinely terrified. “I can’t…” Running my hand down her arm as soothingly as I could, I whispered,
“You have to know, Anna. Either way, you have to know.” She still looked spooked, but she didn’t argue with me so I very gently pulled her forward. Feeling like I was trying to break in a wild mare that was going to bolt at any sudden movement or sharp sound, I finally got the freaked-out Anna into Kellan’s car.
But when I turned the ignition, she opened the door and bolted. Twisting my lips at her through the window, I shook my head. “Get back in the car, Anna.”
She slammed the door shut and shook her head. “You do it, I’ll wait upstairs.” Sighing at her reluctance to face the facts before her, I nodded and backed the car out of the lot. Hopefully, she’d still be home when I got back. Anna could avoid responsibility with the best of them. I had no idea what she’d do if the stick turned blue.
At the drugstore, I picked up one of each kind of test, and two of the kind that detected pregnancies early. If she’d gotten pregnant from Griffin, then it had to have happened in Boise, and that had been just a few weeks ago. It seemed too early to me for her to test positive, but then, I wasn’t an expert on the subject. I’d leave that up to EPT.
Wishing my sister had been here to buy these, wishing the person at the register was a girl tonight and not a twenty-something guy, I set down my basket full of pregnancy tests, muttering, “They’re for my sister…”
The man smirked at me, but said nothing. I was sure he thought I was lying. I oddly felt like covering up, even though I was already wearing a thick jacket. I don’t know, but buying pregnancy tests was sort of like buying condoms. It was a flashing neon sign hovering above you that screamed— I’m having sex! Well, I supposed the tests screamed— I had sex!
I hoped I didn’t run into anyone I knew…
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Luckily, I didn’t, and I got out of there with bright red cheeks and most of my pride intact. When I got back to the apartment, my sister was still there. In fact, she was huddled on the couch under a blanket, shaking like she’d just watched a horror movie. Sighing at her, I handed her the paper bag. She wouldn’t take it. Instead, she dropped her head in her hands and started crying again.
Sinking down to my knees, I put the bag out of sight behind me and brushed her silky hair behind her ears. “Hey, it will be okay, sis.” In what I thought was a hopeful voice I added, “I mean, you’re probably not pregnant. Don’t you use the pill?” I’d used it diligently ever since Denny and I had started getting serious. I just assumed Anna did the same.
She looked up at me, her face forlorn. “Most days…” I bit my lip to contain the rant I wanted to give her. You can’t go around and sow your wild oats so carelessly. But, she was freaking out, and the last thing she needed was a lecture from me. Smiling instead, I patted her leg. “Do you want me to help you?” Rolling her eyes, she glared over at the bag I was hiding with my body. “No, thank you. I can pee all by myself.” Sighing, I watched as she stood up, grabbed the bag, and stormed out of the room. I tried to imagine the free-spirited vixen pregnant…but I couldn’t.
She came out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later, holding five sticks in one hand. She stared at them, horrified, like they were going to start calling her Mommy at any moment. “Okay, now what?” Walking up to her, I eyed the freshly wet sticks…they were blank.
“Well, I think you have to wait a few minutes, Anna.” She looked up at me, color in her cheeks. “I have to wait? I have to sit here and wait to see if my life is over or not?”
“Anna, your life doesn’t have to be over if you are preg—” 380
She put her finger up to my mouth, silencing me. “Don’t say the p-word. It’s bad luck.” I rolled my eyes at her, hoping she’d washed that finger, but I didn’t comment on her ridiculous superstition.
Running her hand through her hair, Anna continued to stare at the sticks in her other palm. “I need a drink,” she muttered.
She started to twist her body, like she was headed to the kitchen. I grabbed her arm. “Anna, you can’t drink, not if you’re preg—” She glared at me nearly saying the dreaded word again and I quickly changed it to, “not if you’re with child.”
I smiled at my turn-of-phrase, Anna frowned. “Damn it! This sucks already.”
Forcefully taking the sticks from her, I made her sit on the couch, away from them. Her eyes watched the various tests in my hand. I almost felt like I could wave her into a trance with them, like a snake charmer at a circus. I wished I could, since every ten seconds she asked, “Anything?” Glancing every time, I responded with, “No, be patient.” Around the tenth time she asked and I glanced, I noticed something.
When I didn’t answer her immediately, Anna stood up. I held her back with a hand, trying to remember if, on this particular brand, two dashes was a good thing…because I was definitely seeing two.
“What? What’s the verdict?” she asked, agitated as she grabbed my hand keeping her back.
“I don’t know yet, Anna.”
Narrowing my eyes, hoping that I was remembering the directions wrong, I looked for the one that used plain English to spell out your fate.
As the words blossomed to life right in front of my eyes, I nearly felt like crying.
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